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i am a 15/f and last summer i was raped, but the thing was i was high so i cant tell my parents or anything, but i am now clean and everything, but i have really bad flashbacks of that time, like they are so vivid and i can feel it happening and i say stuff outloud like "stop" and sutff....now i told my boyfriend and he was really upset, and i dont know how to get rid of these flashbacks without telling ne one, i mean i have a councelor but i just couldnt tell her, does anyone know what i can do? (link)
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You're not alone. Flashbacks are very common for rape survivors.
To be honest, this is something that you really need to talk to your counselor about. If you're not comfortable enough with her to talk about this, the odds are good that she's not really going to be able to help you - and please believe me, you do need help.
You can't just tough it out alone. Rape is very serious - you don't need me to tell you that, I'm sure - and there's no way to simply make the aftereffects go away by themselves. You need therapy with a counselor you can trust.
Otherwise, the long-term effects could be devastating, and last the rest of your life. I'm not trying to scare you...but please, find a way to talk to your counselor, or look into finding a new one that you can trust.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
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okay you know security cameras?? is there a way where the camera can be in your house, building etc etc & you could get the video from another location without wires er anything er going back to the first location for the camera itself??
thanks!! (link)
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If the camera is connected to the internet, then the signal can be relayed anywhere without a direct connection from the camera to the viewing location. No problem.
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Im 13, And Im female. I just kinda have a odd questions. You know how people say (While i heard it on tv once, & once on here..) When boys at school when they get hard, they try to stop it and cover it with the books in front of it..
Will honestly, do they REALLY DO THAT?
& doesnt it hurt, trying to make it not so noticeable...
I mean im a girl, and i just see it as pain, or something. hah.. Thanks i rate high. (link)
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Yeah. Guys do that. Because they get embarrassed.
It doesn't really hurt.
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I am 44 years old...look 30...always have been considered beautiful. I am almost divorced.
In the summer, I ran into a man I knew from the country club. He is 55. I called him because I was planning a party for my parents, and he owns a catering hall.
He is very nice, very rich and seems to be very attracted to me. He adores my sons. He has an adopted daughter that he dotes on and lavishes all of his attention on...perhaps to an excessive degree.
He was thrilled that I called, yet disappointed it was "business"
He called me quite often. Finally, he took my twin sons (7) and I out on his boat a few times.
He never took me out on an "alone" date, however. He kept promising...it got ridiculous. He kept telling me how sexy and beautiful I was, yet never seemed to want to be alone with me. I broke up with him. He called me back...and then called one month later to rekindle.
It has been 4 months. He has never taken me on a date. He did not send me anything for Valentine's Day. I sent him a card. Friendly, and cute.
When I realized he did not send me anything on VDay, I called and told him to change the message on the card (in gaelic) to "to hell with You." He called and, fortunately, had not been able to understand the rest of the message because it was unclear...thank goodness.
I was distant, and told him that I felt awkward about sending him something, and hung up. He called back later, and acted annoyed. He said he was "disheartened" by the fact that I regretted sending the card. He seemed to have no clue that I was disappointed and felt foolish because he did not acknowledge me on VDay!!!
He also mentioned that he is "confused about the whole situation, and that I probably am too." HELLO?!!!
I am absolutely not going to call him back. But I do have strong feelings for him, I do not understand what is going on. If he calls, how should I handle it? ...I resent being put in this position. I feel that the man should pursue the woman, and I am certainly not going to ask HIM out. Why would a man put off taking a woman out on a date?
FYI, I am not after his money, I am well off.
Thank you!!!IVY (link)
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This is a tough one, so I've given it extra thought.
You didn't mention if he was a widower, or divorced; since he has an adopted daughter, it sounds as if at some point there was a wife in the picture. That could be the key to his reluctance. Because clearly, he's attracted to you; and clearly, something is holding him back.
If he's a widower, he may feel that it's somehow disloyal to the memory of his wife to date someone new; that's not at all an uncommon reaction.
If he's divorced, and particularly if it was a bad divorce, the odds are quite good that he's simply afraid of commitment. I've known quite a few men who've become terribly afraid of a serious relationship after a bad divorce; as soon as a girlfriend started to get serious, they'd end the relationship. I suspect that attitude is more common among divorced men than divorced women, but since I've never been divorced myself, I'm just guessing about that.
Either way, you're in a bind. You want him, and he seems to want you, but he's holding back. And since he admitted that he was confused, it's clear that he realizes that there's a problem.
Your emotions are clearly running high, and that's quite understandable. This situation is painful, and needs to be resolved. But I don't think you can expect him to resolve it.
He's confused about his own behavior. YOU'RE confused by his behavior. So between the two of you, you're the one who is best positioned to cut to the quick and clear things up. But you need to keep a cool head.
I realize that you don't want to take the initiative; you want to be wooed, and won. That's natural. But at the rate he's going, it doesn't seem that he's ever going to reach that point.
So you need to sit down and make a decision: is the possibility of being with him worth taking the first step? You needn't lay your heart on the floor in front of him, but there are ways that you could talk to him about this issue.
Perhaps the best way would be a letter, a real old-fashioned letter. Nothing too strong; just tell him that you like him and respect him, and that since you believe that he reciprocates your feelings you'd like to find out what, if anything, you two might mean to each other. Be understanding of his confusion; but make it clear that while you like him, and would like to explore the possibility of a relationship with him, you can't wait forever.
Because the truth is, you can't. Time is too precious to spend waiting for a man who can't or won't make up his mind. And if he decides that he's not ready to make that sort of decision, you need to move on and find someone who is. From the way you described yourself, it doesn't sound as if that will be difficult!
Good luck!
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I was wondering what blog site out there will have people always comment on your entries? (link)
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None. There's no site that will MAKE people comment on your entries. That's not possible.
You just have to write entries that are interesting enough to get people to WANT to comment on them.
That said, I use LiveJournal.
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http://hollylisle.com/fm/Articles/manuscript_formatting.html
I have been using this and it said to use 1.5 margins all around for writing a novel it ended up looking like this.
http://photobucket.com/albums/b286/montrealfanjk/?action=view¤t=untitled.jpg
Should I continue with this format and if not whcih type of format should I use? How many pages for one chapter for that format?How many pages for one chapter with the format I am using now? (link)
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A novel is art. There are no rules for how many pages per chapter or anything like that. The important thing is to create the words and get them on paper (or rather, in a file).
However, publishers DO have rules for what formatting you should use for submissions: margins, file formats, etc. Unless your manuscript is in some really bizarre proprietary file format, you'll be easily able to reformat a copy of your file to match the requirements of whichever publisher(s) you submit it to.
What I'm saying is, this is not the time to worry about formatting. It's time to WRITE, to create the very best novel that you can.
For now, use whatever format makes it easiest for you to write.
That said, the format you're using looks fine; and you shouldn't have any trouble using Word. DO make sure to make frequent backups, and keep at least one set of backups somewhere safe away from the others. One good way to do that might be to email the file to yourself every so often at a Gmail address; that way it will be safe on Google's servers. If you don't have a Gmail account and want one, email me (my address is in my column) and I'll give you an invite.
Good luck!
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I went out to have lunch with a male friend of mine. During our meal he asked me where I was going to meet Mr. Right, and that Prince Charming wasn't going to knock on my door. He also said that if I was still single in 5 years that I wouldnt be happy. The whole time he was looking at me romantically. At the end of our meal I applied a fresh coat of lipgloss and he couldn't take his eyes of me, like he was getting turned on. When we left the restaurant it was raining and he held his umbrella over my head.
Do you think that all the questions he was asking me was him hinting around that he was interested in me? I think he was thinking long term, why else would he be talkig about 5 years from now? (link)
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To be honest, I don't think he could have been much more obvious about his feelings. He sounds very much as if he's seriously interested in you.
So I guess it's time for you to decide how you feel about him.
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All my life I've wanted to help people and for the past year or two I have decided that the perfect profession for me would to be a Social Worker. Next year I get to take a journey to HighSchool and I was wondering if you have any ideas of what classes would help to acheive my dream?Also... Would knowing a second language help? I get A's and B's and I'm a goody good girl thats never gotton a detention and of course I have never got in trouble with the police because after research I understand that they do background checks. Please would you respond with ideas that would help me later in life. Also, how long do you have to go to collage if you want to be a "Social worker" I am realy intrested in Child, family, and school social workers. Though a lot of kids dont realy appreait people like this I belive they do help alot. I would love to work for a company. My dream all my life has been to have a email adress so people could email me and i could help them with there problems. Now i have a dream helping people in such a way and I know I can achieve this. I know I'm only in 8th grade but I know this is the job for me
Sincerly,
Meg
(link)
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Here are a couple of links that should be useful:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos060.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_workers
To be a social worker you'll need a B.A. in social work, although it's not uncommon to move on and get a Master's degree as well. A B.A. takes four years, and a Master's takes two more years (or more, in some cases).
Knowing a second language certainly couldn't hurt, and it would definitely help - as long as it's a language spoken by some of your prospective clients.
Good luck!
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How can I find the best way to make my boyfriend to open his soul and heart in front of me?We have a relation since 9 years and we have now this problem. I'm a female and I'm 28 (link)
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Some men open up more easily than others. And some just won't open up at all. If you've been with him for nine years, and you've tried to get him to open up and failed for all that time...then it just may not be possible for him.
But if you haven't tried simply *talking* to him about it, that would certainly be worth trying. And if it bothers you so much that you'd consider leaving him, perhaps you should both go to see a couples counsellor. They can really help a couple learn how to communicate and express their feelings to each other.
Good luck!
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I'm 18, and my child is due on March 3rd. I'm really excited about this, but the problem is with the father.
Don't get me wrong--I really love him, but I'm scared we leaped into everything too soon.
We were dating for 3 months when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to tell him, but he was so supportive, and he ended up absolutely ecstatic about it once we'd both been reassured about some things. We're engaged now, and things are going great.
But, that's the problem.
I think things are too good, and that once the baby is born that things might fall apart. I really want to talk to him about this, but I don't know how to approach it.
Any help is more than appreciated.
Thanks for your time. (link)
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People like to scare expectant parents.
I don't know why, but they do.
"You'll never get any sleep, ever again."
"Say goodbye to sex."
"Look forward to being broke for the rest of your life."
"Babies kill romance."
It just goes on and on. Well, here's a piece of advice from a parent: don't believe them. Your lives WILL be different, and there will be things that you'll have less of. But love, and romance, don't have to be one of them.
The best way to talk about it, is to TALK to him about it. You're engaged. You're having a baby together. You really need to be able to talk; believe me, that will be a HUGE asset after the baby is born! So sit down with him, and talk about your worries. Try not to let the conversation dwell on just the scariest possibilities, but don't be afraid to look at everything that's bothering you.
You might want to make a pact with him: set aside some special time for just the two of you, every week. Let someone from your families look after the baby for a few hours, and spend some time together. That's vital to keeping a marriage happy and successful.
You might also want to consider trading off weekend mornings. Sometimes everyone needs a break, a little alone time, so perhaps you could both work out a deal where he gets to sleep a couple of hours late one morning, and you get to sleep in the other morning. Or not sleep; that time should be your own, for you to do whatever you want to do.
Together time, and "me" time, are both really important. That's easy to forget after a baby is born.
I wish you the best of luck. And just so you know: having a baby is the most incredible thing in the world. Six months from now, you won't BELIEVE how empty your pre-baby life seems to you.
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I was thinking of taking estrogen pills to help make my figure more womanly. Im 22 and I still dont have breasts and curves like I should. Do you think it's a good idea? (link)
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No. Some studies indicate that health risks (particularly cancer) are associated with estrogen supplements. And in any case, it would be a BIG mistake to self-medicate.
If you think you might have a genuine hormone deficiency, of course, you should talk to your doctor; she or he may be able to help.
If, on the other hand, you're just thinner than average, it would be a good idea to try to be happy with your body. Many men and women find thinness to be extremely attractive, and that includes a relative lack of curves.
In any case, estrogen would not be likely to help you much, if at all (and, to repeat myself, it could be dangerous - you should NEVER take medication that hasn't been prescribed for you). When it comes to breast enhancement, the only things that work are birth-control pills (for most, but not all women; and the effect is often not major), pregnancy, and surgery.
Really, it would be smart to talk to your doctor or OB/GYN about this.
Good luck!
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Okay this may come off as a very stupid question, but since I was adopted, my birth my mom was really young when she had me.. well 20. And she wasnt married, gah I'm worried that if she had an STD or like ahh something, would I have it? Theres no way I can know, beacuse we dont even have any information about them.. and I'm kinda freaking out now. (link)
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It's standard procedure in most states to thoroughly test adopted infants. And in any case, symptoms would have shown up by now. You don't need to worry.
But if you can't help it, talk to your doctor. A set of blood tests will give you definitive answers.
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Well I'm a high school student trying to answer that big question, "What do I want to do with the rest of my life." This past year I've really become interested in mental illness's and how your brain works. I'd like to go into a career with something to do with helping people with mental illness's such as skitzophrenia(spelling?) anyways, anyone out there who has some career advice for me I'd love to hear from you. And if you could also include how you go to where you were (college/university, etc) that would be awesome. (link)
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If you're interested in mental illnesses, there are a number of career paths open to you.
Mental Health (or Clinical) social worker - this is probably the easiest way to go. It simply requires a B.A. in social work, although it's not uncommon to move on and get a Master's degree as well.
Psychologist: This includes clinical and counseling psychologists. It requires a doctoral degree, i.e. a Ph.D. Psychologists cannot prescribe medication; in some cases, they (and social workers) work with a prescribing psychiatrist as needed.
Psychiatrist: This requires a full medical degree (which takes four years), and another four years as a psychiatric resident, so it's the most demanding. However, psychiatrists are pretty much the top of the mental health field. They can prescribe medication, and provide therapy.
Here's a Wikipedia entry that will lead you to some more useful information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatrist
Good luck!
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okay this is probably really gross & long but i really need help. well see, lately i've got into this habit of masturbating. (yes, im a girl and i finger myself and this is EXTREMELY embarassing to talk about.) but anyways, i did it for about 4 days in a row everynight. but i dont do it for long at all. maybe like 10 minutes? and sometimes i do it kind of hard cause well hey, it feels good. x: but anyways, i was supposed to get my period on friday but i didnt so i figured it was gonna come late. well anyways, then on saturday i masturbated and then again on sunday. but on sunday, i masturbated a little longer than usual and i was more into it. but then afterwards i went to the bathroom and i was bleeding. so i figured i had gotten my period. but i only bled for like 5 minutes & then it stopped, and hasnt come back, and its now wednesday. i dont think it was my cherry that popped because my boyfriend has fingered me before and we have had sex (only once though). im afraid something happened & caused my period to mess up because of me masturbating? i don't know but i am really afraid and embarrassed to tell anyone, especially my mother or something. does anybody know what could be going on? thanks so much, i'll rate high. (link)
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If you're wondering why no one else is answering: it's because YoungGrandma is, as always, absolutely right on the money.
Oh, and masturbation isn't gross or disgusting in any way. It's completely natural; everybody does it. Even babies in the womb (as ultrasounds have proven)!
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Hello, I'm a female 17 years old and a JR. in High school. Also I'm from Pennsylvania,& that will help with my question.
Sometime last week I was assigned to write a Persuasive Essay, since I have one of the higher grades in class the teacher thought it would be appropriate that I tackle a harder issue to discuss, which lead her to assign me the Death Penalty.
I need some reasons why people support the death penalty and the reasons why they support it. I have a few reasons picked out but I would like to see if there are better reasons out there and see what other people's thoughts are.
Also, please don't answer this if you disagree with it. (link)
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Here are the two best arguments I know against the death penalty
1) The government doesn't deserve to be entrusted with such an absolute power. We know that police, prosecutors, judges, and juries are human beings; as such, they can make mistakes and be corrupted.
A number of people on death row have been exonerated, fortunately before being executed, by DNA evidence, so there's absolute proof that innocent people have been sentenced to death in this country.
Life without the possibility of parole has been made available in a number of states as an alternative to the death penalty for that very reason - if they do find that someone turns out to be innocent, they can release them.
But not if they're dead.
2) Life without parole is actually a harsher punishment than death, in most cases. With the death penalty, whatever the prisoner experiences is over in less than an hour. But life in prison means years of suffering.
It could also be argued that virtually no other industrialized democracy executes, and that the general standard of international morality condemns the idea of execution.
As for arguments FOR the death penalty...I never saw one that didn't basically turn out to be a desire for revenge. There's absolutely no evidence to back up the idea that the death penalty deters people from committing murder or any other crime. The USA actually has a much higher crime rate than any country which DOESN'T have the death penalty, in fact.
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heyy does anyone know a site where you can read books online for free? is there anything like that online? i dont even know well, thanks in advance everyone :) ill rate 5s (link)
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Project Gutenberg has over 17,000 free books online. A lot of them are classics; don't make the mistake of thinking that they're lame just because they're old.
http://www.gutenberg.org/
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approximately a month ago my Boyfriend and I were foolin around and while we've never had sex we got a little carried away... to sum it all up he ended up cumming on my butt- we tried to clean it off as soon as possible but technically it is possible that some could have slid down to my vagina... does anyone think that I might get pregnant- I was off my birth control and havent had my period for two months (always been screwed up without my birth control) but he never penetrated me- what do you think? (link)
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It's extremely unlikely. But if you notice symptoms, or are just too worried about it, take a home pregnancy test; they're cheap and accurate.
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well i have been on advicenators for like 5 months now....and at first i only gave people advice..but then i started asking stuff and lately i ask a ton of questions and dont really answer as many as i used to...will my account get deleted because of that? (link)
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Not for that. You might want to read the FAQ.
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php
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K I need to know for my own personal reasons if, all these things i'm about to list, are sins or not. and if they are sins where in the bible can they be found.
! Smoking Pot
@ Masturbating
# Drinking alchohol (under the age of 21)
$ Giving/Recieving oral sex
% Looking or watching "explicit materials"
I'd really like to know, so please help me. Thanks sooo much.
p.s im 16f if that helps. (link)
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My understanding is that most Christian churches would define all or most of those as sins. Some denominations permit masturbation and oral sex within marriage. And since the drinking age is determined by statute, I don't think that 21 is the standard that churches necessarily apply; I'm sure that age is not listed in the Bible.
Since you seem to be concerned about this, I really recommend that your talk to your pastor, minister, rabbi, or spiritual counsellor. They should be able to tell you the standards of your particular faith.
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ok so i am going to the gyno for the first time in a month...and i shave my pubes...so i was wondering if the gyno will expect it or if she will lecture me on not doing it? (link)
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I very much doubt that she'll have any expectations either way, nor should you expect a lecture - except she might talk to you about being sexually active, since shaving the pubic area kind of implies that you might be showing it to one or more boys.
And if that's the case, definitely talk to her about the whole issue.
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