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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Long story short, I met this guy not long ago well we were speaking everyday all day for around 4 months now and we finally met up, he seemed interested in me etc till the day we finally saw each other, but even then he still looked interested in me. Since Saturday he has been replying super late to my msgs, taking 2-6 hours to reply he wasn't like this I will come online on WhatsApp and I see him online but he doesn't even bother to open my msg , but he still replies the same way as before only this time he takes longer, why? all of a sudden after meeting me he changed the way he was towards texting, the time he takes messaging me back is doing my head in, did he lose interest? bare in mind we kissed on that day like he treated me really well.. its been different since Saturday? I feel like he's talking to another girl, I get this gut feeling??? why change all of a sudden?

its weird to give me late replies but still speak the same with me?? can someone please help me, I'm reading way too into these texts, I got so used to the routine of speaking to him constantly and since we saw eachother thats changed...??? did I do something ???? like his texts are still the same as before but he takes longer..

This sounds much like an earlier question I answered. So if you're the same person, you have better info here so I can give a better answer.

There is such a thing as attraction. There is physical attraction, personality attraction and also just as important, a chemical attraction. the First is easy, we see something we really like so when we meet on line, its easy to be visually attracted. Personality is something that comes out in how a person talks about themselves, their world, etc. You discover their hobbies, moral character, type of humor, etc. You can be drawn to alot of this on line but there is just as much too easily kept hidden on purpose or just stuff you can't experience on line. The worst yet is whether two people have physical chemistry, its more about something unseen but felt, called pheromones. The closer a match to each other the pheromones are, the more chemistry you will have. I known others have called attraction to and having similar personalities as having chemistry. I have experienced the personality chemistry without feeling the pheromone (chemistry). Before I met my second husband, I was dating online but met in person as soon as someone promising wrote to me. One guy I really liked alot but at the end in the parking lot before getting in my car, he asked if we could kiss and I figured it would be good cus I liked his personality. Unfortunately, the kiss felt so unromantic, like a romantic kiss from a brother or Dad, the idea of which just made me shudder with a feeling of grossness.

You say the day you met in person, he still looked interested. Well yes, I am sure you're a very beautiful girl. But even if he like how you looked, even if he seemed to like your personality , at the same time he was not picking up a good match of these invisible vibes or energy from pheromones. This is a subconscious thing in humans. We don't know why all of a sudden we are turned off by someone we were interested in until we met. So he may not by aware why how he felt changed when you met. Most people do not know or understand this. So don't feel bad if you or even he didn't know. This does not mean you are not a desirable female. The reason this guy is not saying anything and coming clean is because he is afraid of any emotional reaction and guys just freak out when a female cries and get scared when she gets angry. He is trying to show you less and less attention by answering later and doesn't have the same enthusiasm because he is not interested. A male who is genuinely interested in a female will at least call her if he is over busy and has no time for her but if shes greatest he's ever met, he won't want to take a chance of losing her interest over a misunderstanding or his problem schedule and such a guy would be calling to let you know if he can't meet in person but loved the fisrt meet up with you. Most people that i know of have called the person they met on the following day to let them know how much they enjoyed meeting them and then try to get something on the calendar.
Not only did he not call you the day after but he's not eager to call you and postpones it because he isn't as interested as he was before you both met. Unless he has a dying Grandma he's close to who could pass at any moment or some such event that is turning his life into turmoil, there isn't anything that would keep a man who is really into a gal he just met, from contacting her and make sure she doesn't get whisked away by some other guy. So here's how to find out if he really does still like you, (although its not enough for my liking)
you give him a call and state,

"My female intuition is telling me that something has changed between us since the moment we met in person. You seem more distant or disinterested. It is fine if that is the case. I just need to know if you have lost interest because you didn't feel a chemistry with me. If not, please tell me the truth so I know whether to stay available for you or to move on." Of course put it in your own words but you need to reassure him that you want the truth and are willing to let him off the hook and not go after him again. If he is talking like everything is the same, and he's anywhere near your age, he likely is just too afraid and truly has no clue what to do or say.

there are guys in the world who wouldn't look twice in my direction, but also there are the guys who have similar or same pheromone connections, (older people often get better at picking this up sometimes without much interaction with the other person at first), and these males who have similar likes in appearance and pick up subconsciously on the feeling of chemistry will make an effort to talk to me, flirt, compliment. So just to reassure you that if one guy you really liked doesn't feel the same in return, its not because of anything the girl has done in almost all cases. You could try asking if anything has changed in his life, things like someone in family hospitalized, recently had a disease confirmed, Dad lost his job, any other things that would change a persons behavior. Guys are taught to not show emotion and if you are a new girl and he's not used to showing emotions in front of you, he may not want to encourage until he has somehow taken care of his emotional turmoil. Guys will do a thing called distancing themselves from a girl if there is a specific reason why he isn't free to be with you. Males distance themselves ahead of time thinking it will make it easier for you to part when the time comes. But they explain nothing and we are left to assume they have fallen out of love without knowing there is a problem. An example is him getting the only job offer in a long time but its way across the country from you and he already knows you have said in the past that your family means alot and you would never move away from them, not even for love. I hope this shows you now that it is not even confusing but an actual part of how humans work. Pheremones are real and if missing, the two won't make a couple. This also means that there will be other humans you find a pheremone attraction to in life but once you have settled and fallen in love with one person, finding yourself at times attracted to someone sexually is not an odd thing. However due to your commitment to your mate, there is no need to connect with every male there is such a connection with because it may just be the physical attraction too but not the personality one and all a person accomplishes then is a bunch of bootie calls without a real relationship, no matter that there was a pheremone connection to begin with.

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Hey there! I'm Laura and I'm 16 years old. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and I'm emotionally prepared to have sex with him, though this question isn't completely about that. See, I have this problem where I can't get ANYTHING into my vagina. I first realized when I was 13 and tried to put a tampon in and couldn't get it in. I couldn't ask my mom how (she's very strictly religious and conservative and we don't talk about anything, she doesn't want to talk about my body and has made me uncomfortable talking about it. We kind of have a shit relationship which is why i came here with this issue), so i found some online tutorials. I still couldn't get it and it hurt very very bad, so I gave up. I used pads until I was 15 (at which point i tried tampons again and was once again in pain) and only masturbated clitorally, having tried to get my fingers in myself a few times but never succeeding. It began to worry me again last month when i was at my boyfriend's house getting hot and heavy and i realized we were getting pretty serious in our relationship and he asked me if i would like for him to buy condoms if i'm ready. i told him that i would like that but i wasn't sure if i would be able to. he's a very mature, progressive 16 year old boy, so i told him about my problem and he told me it was okay and that he or understood and that we could stick to just doing other things and it didn't bother him and so on and so forth. he really is a nice boy, but i'm going to want to have sex and use tampons at some point in my life, and when i turn 18 i'll have to start seeing a gyno yearly and i want to be able to have access to my own vagina before someone else tries. i've used diagrams and mirrors, so i'm fairly certain i'm in the right place, but no amount of lube or muscle relaxation or advice has helped at all. if anyone knows what my problem could be, insight would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Laura. Yes its true as others have said that virgins can be quite tight. the vagina can over time learn to stretch and expand.
However, there is one instance in which practically nothing can fit in the vagina and that is if a teen has a septate hymen, micro hymen or any other that is considered a congenital anomalie. The hymen when normal is an extra ring of skin around the circumference of the vagina or around a half like moon shaped. These things are always discovered at the point teens need to begin using tampons and find they can't fit them in. Yes, tampons are tighter at first but if you can't even fit in a finger at all, there is something wrong. If you are getting a period flow, then obviously there is a hole of some size enough for the flow to pass through. But it may be too small to fit anything else so yes, its best to get this done now. You definitely won't want any guy trying to even gently push his way in cus if there is a problem with the hymen, it won't give enough to tear into a big enough opening and the pain I've heard someone tell was like having a stabbing pain. If this is your situation, there is nothing you can do but tell mom you can't wear tampons cus there's something wrong with your hymen and she can get you to see a Dr. You can wait and put it off but if this is not just virgin tightness but an birth anomaly, then a Dr. would have to fix it. Most people don't talk about subjects like this so it is seldom known of but in todays time, is happening more often with young females discovering some real issues with their hymen. Check out this site link and show it to Mom too. If you don't want to go to a Dr if this is not your problem, you may want to have your Mom take a look for herself. Better her if theres no problem than going to Dr. to find out. The diagrams should give her a good idea of what to look for. If pen drawings don't help, there are plenty of real life photos of the anatomy with those issues if you need to check. Good luck.

http://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/

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Background: my boyfriend is 23 and I'm 21. We're both finishing our last year of college (he is taking a fifth year because of ROTC and switching majors I will talk about this later). We have been dating for a little under a year and a half.

The problems: started in the last six months. I feel like we've fallen into a rut. I still want so much from him. His time, his attention, cute little surprises/texts, etc., you know the stuff you do in the honey moon phase. Plus our sex life has slowed down a ton even though I am pretty much wanting to have sex all the time. He's the definition of a clueless boyfriend. Part of it is the army. He's been through extensive training over the last five years, more so than a normal ROTC student. Long story. He doesn't talk about emotions well. He's been told it makes him weak. The most sentimental he gets is when we fall asleep he will whisper how much he loves me and wants to spend his life with me. But that's it. All other times he's stoic as a board.

We don't really go on dates. And we only see each other a few hours a week even though we live 50 yards from each other. But we constantly argue about how I ask too much of him. He says he's exhausted and all he wants to do is play his video games alone sometimes. And I don't blame him. I really don't.Part of the problem is he works nearly 40 hours a week, is a full time student, and is essentially completely cut off from his parents. He pays for all of his school expenses, rent, car insurance, cell phone, and so on. They gave him a loan for an accident a year ago and he's still paying them back. It's very different from me. My parents are incredibly generous and pay for all of my school, rent, phone, car, basically everything he has to work for. And I love that about him. He is so driven and independent and I admire the hell out of him. I try to be understanding. I never pressure him to take me on dates and if we do I pay for half. Or at least offer. I suggest things that don't cost money or I make sure he knows that I've already paid for it. I try to always be supportive of the fact that he gets zero sleep. (Three nights he works until 4 and then has class at 8). I do a lot of his laundry and errands to try to help him out. (I also don't work and only have class two days a week). I try so so hard to understand that work and school are his priority. But sometimes I feel really down about feeling at the bottom of his list. Sometimes I don't even want him to come see me I just want him to say that he wishes he could. He can be so cold. But god I love him so much. I could go on and on about how amazing of a person he is and how empowered and strong he makes me feel but it would make this question unreadable. I guess to sum up the main relationship problem: I constantly want more and he doesn't have it to give.

Also. He's been sad this year. All his friends graduated and I can tell he his depressed. But sometimes he takes it out on me. He can be mean and say hurtful things.Sometimes I feel like I can't do it anymore. I don't feel like I have a boyfriend. Next year we will be long distance which we have done for a summer and did great at.

MY BIGGEST WORRY: I will stay with him and long distance will be fine because most of my current frustrations are that I feel like he doesn't make time for me. But if we stay together what if these problems are still there in 2-5 years? After we live in the same city or his deployment is over. I know there are so many factors that will be different than this year of college. But I haven't been my happiest these past few weeks. I don't want to throw it all away because the future is just so unclear. But what if I invest all of this time only to find out we won't work? But then I think about how much I love him and how much we have already been thought. And I guess I just don't know how to bring this all up with him. Please help.

18 months together and problems started in last six months. Okay, so for a year something was happening.
Either he had no job for that first 12 months or less classes, which I assume is not the case, or there is another issue.
It is possible he bit off more than he can chew time wise and pushed himself for 12 months when he still had the same schedule. It would mean he didn't have time for you back then either. A person can have problems with lack of sleep and stress.

But the issue here is how he treats you even though those choices for schedule are his and he chose to start a relationship with you as well, so he has no right to ever dump on you or blame you. So saying the hurtful mean things even sometimes is a potential bigger looming issue where he may not make a good partner at all.
As I see it wait a year til he finishes school, and if he had new reasons why he had no timed for you, dump him, he's a douche-bag. If you want him now and can't wait, it may be best to part ways. Date others. And if both of you are free and want to date in the future, then do so.

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We do not go to the same school. We talked twice... through text. I only saw a glimpse of him a long time ago in real life. I have his numbers, I might give him a call or text him. How do I ask without sounding weird or creepy? He knows I like him and yes I really do need those pictures.
Oh and just a heads up, he has a girlfriend.
How do I do this?

You can't like a person and have a relationship with them if you never talk. So my suggestion is to contact him but do not make a request for photo, the first thing you say or do. Take a couple times first of just chatting and reconnecting. You need to find out first if he is still has the girlfriend (young romance for example do not last long typically)
or if he is dating someone else now and is only considering you a friend. Important to know this if you are going to ask for a photo. Which you need not ask for if he doesn't feel the chemistry to have romantic feelings about you in return. If all goes well the first two times talking, then you could ask him to send a pic.
No matter what, no sexting. A female does not need that to interest a guy, much as the real young females seem to think.

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he comes online on WhatsApp, clearly he sees my messages but takes forever to reply? why???? its making me so annoyed , I get this feeling he is talking to someone else

Whether the guy is considered just a friend or a love interest, perhaps he doesn't answer right away with anyone who tries contacting him, choosing to stay on whatever task on hand, or perhaps he is viewing who is contacting him and choosing certain people to answer over others. If no other overtures of friendship or a flirting romantic nature ever come from this person, then interest may be more one sided, you interested and him, not so much. If you are supposedly dating then a guy who is willing to do so has some interest in you, so thats a good sign. The way he responds to your messages, he may believe are reasonable. How a person responds or whether they choose to at all is entirely personal choice.

I can understand feeling annoyed but with so little information provided and based only on what you said and not knowing who "He" is in relation to you, its hard to tell. So I also can not know if this is a sign he is talking to others (meaning competition) Our feelings and emotions are produced in large part from our thought life. Positive thoughts produce positive emotions, negative thinking produces negative emotions such as hate, fear, annoyance. No one by their behavior can "make you" or "Force you" to take on a negative feeling by their actions. It is how we think about something that causes the type of emotions we feel. While you have a right to want someone to answer promptly, other people also have a right to not have to answer exactly the way you want them too. This would sound like a stalemate, so what can be done here? Again, not knowing who "He" is, just in case this is a husband or long term mate of about 7 yrs plus, in such a situation, its best to go for couple counseling if you both still love each other but have grievances. For any other, people just interested or dating, the commitment level to working things out isn't there usually for counseling.
And since dating is what I say is a tool for singles to learn what they do and don't like in a person, here's the perfect opportunity for you. If its just once grievance, use proper verbal forms to talk about it. First do not accuse him of talking to someone else, or being lazy in answering etc. as such accusations will immediately make a person shut down and not listen to another word you have to say. Own your feelings and let him know what you consider the issue to be such as "Not answering your messages.' And let him know what you were hoping to expect as far as how soon or how often he responds. And be sure to ask him what is happening in his life that might prevent him from answering. Guys don't like to tell the truth if they feel the girl is extra touchy and emotional and could cry or get angry with the truth. So if you want the truth, you have to behave stable minded and reassuring to get him to possibly tell you the truth. If the truth is that he is not interested, no matter how it hurts, wouldn't you want to know the truth so you can move on to focus on someone else? I had to tell a guy once to be a bit more timely, an online friend who might write 2 messages and then I wouldn't hear for 6-10 months. His job involves travel but he has down time and pc with him. When I asked for hearing from him once or twice a month, he never responded and didn't write ever again. So I had my answer, that he wasn't all that interested in me as a friend, has time management issues or is so busy he has no time to get online. No matter what his reason, it didn't matter to me or bother me. I simply required a friend to check in a bit more often and since he didn't, we were a mismatch as friends at the current time. If his situation changes in the future, he is welcome to contact me again and be somewhat timely.
So if at any point, what you believe to be reasonable differs too greatly from the other person, there will be issues in friendship or more. The same goes for differing moral views, manners, beliefs including spiritual, etc. if differing too greatly, for most, we find that tho opposites may attract, the attraction doesn't last long as it is quite wearing on a relationship when the two have so many differences of opinions that they can never see eye to eye and have constant fodder for fights. So if there are a few things that you are too annoyed with, then perhaps he just isn't mature enough or the wrong person for you. If you find that you have this issue quite often with others, then you may have to rethink what the issue really is. Could it be that others are learning how to not be so attached to their cell vs those who answer each text or message immediately or within hours. Which group do you fall into? If its that important to you, then choose friends by how quickly or how often they respond to messages.

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Thank you again for the advice

Overcome Shyness (must be done in person --no texting)

I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener in grade school because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. In contrast, my dad was a very friendly extroverted person and always bringing home new friends he had made. Us kids liked it cus these “uncles” would bring candy for us.

It took until I was about 17 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered. Just so you aren't afraid I may have heard God wrong, regaardless that it worked for me, I came across a book by a psychologist who writes how people can overcome all sorts of fears/phobias and what he suggests for overcoming shyness is the same as I heard in prayer. I was shocked but its psychologist proven to work as well.

None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.

1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
This should help you.

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So in high school I never really had that group of friends I would usually jump from group to group and never really had a best friend I mostly had acquaintances. However I'd like to say I hung out with certain groups of people more than others and would even hangout with them outside of school. So now that high school is done I don't see these people at all anymore and I've realized how I don't have any friends and that most of these people were only my friends because we saw each other everyday. I feel like it's my fault because I should've tried to develop a close relationship with these people cause now if I see a photo or a post of social media of these groups of people hanging out with each other I get sad because they didn't event think to invite me and when I ask if they're free they always say they're busy. I'm always the one to text these people first and if I don't text them at all I won't hear from them. I've tried so hard to make new friends at my new school but if you've seen my previous posts you'd know the friends I made were either fake or just acquaintances who just came for lecture and don't want anything outside of class. Please help with tips on either how to get these old friends to remember I exist or how to make new friends? Cause being shy literally ruins everything thanks in advance

Tips to help old friends remember and want to connect with you? If you are still as shy as you said, then this is a situation of putting the cart or wagon in front of the horse...he can't pull it that way, so in essense, the saying means nothing is going to happen if tackled in that order. You need to be honest with yourself.

I do understand though. I was in your shoes, shy all through school from Kindergarten on. My last year in HS, I was tired of being so shy, I was afraid to even say Hello to people and it was so bad I never did book reports, and was terrified of kids staring at me if I had to get out of my seat and go sharpen a pencil at the front of the room. It was bad. But I got to a place where I wanted to change and become more outgoing like my Dad.
Having that want to change is needed before there is anything I can do to help you. So since that time, I bear no resemblance to that shy young person. When I lived in a house, I was the first person to go over to a neighbors on their move in day with cookies or muffins and a card to welcome them to the neighborhood. the old me could never do such a thing. In looking back, I don't blame people for not wanting to be friends with me. Now that I am so outgoing and friendly, even I can spot the shy person real easily and too be honest, shyness or social anxiety as its called today in a person, doesn't make me want to go out of my way to get to know them or spend time with them. I used to walk with my head hung down looking at my feet as I walked, didn't hold eye contact and did not say hi to people, call them by their name or even just smile. Now I know what I didn't then. Body language is even a bigger portion of how we communicate than spoken words. A smile shows that you are friendly and approachable. (Somehow instinctively as a child I knew that and therefore I didn't smile as it might encourage someone to approach me and talk which I was terrified of.) I tried to blend into crowds and not be noticed, it was a subconscious thing I didn't realize I was doing back then. People are drawn to want to meet or spend time with others who are open and friendly. So be honest with yourself. Since none of your friends were described as being shy, let me ask you to think hard and picture yourself excited to hang out with a friend who won't look you in the eyes, hardly talk to you, mumbles, acts like they are not enjoying themselves? It would not be fun at all. Its for the same reasons that people are not going to be interested in you or weren't interested in me back in school days.

So advice how to make new friends? Be a friend to make a friend. This means being friendly, greeting people with a smile and by their name and if they are really open, then hugs too. If means being able to ask them about how things are going. Remembering an event they had coming up and talked about, so like asking, "How did you do in that test? How was the visit with your grandmother. People all have a need to be loved and accepted so these kinds of things are important. Remembering a favorite color or favorite collectible and getting an inexpensive token gift just because, to give a friend. I could give more examples but basically, you treat the others the way you want them to treat you. With HS friends, they've got a set idea of what you are like and therefore are never available/always busy.
Again if you can be honest with yourself, can you be a friend to get a friend, while still being shy? If you think you can, then go ahead and try. I just know that I never could do that back then. The few people who were somewhat friends are the ones who reached out to me first or i would not even have had them.
The issue still comes down to learning how to overcome shyness. There is a recipe for that. Easy steps you can take, the same I did to overcome my social anxiety. I more recently came across a book at library by a Psychologist turned teacher and author who focus's on teaching people how to overcome specific anxieties. I was surprised to find the exact same thing I did for social anxiety to be written in his book. No wonder it worked so well. And the nice thing is I went at my own pace, not moving on to next step until I felt I'd mastered the earlier step. No rushing or its useless. Even so, in a month or two I was a new person. You already realize that shyness can ruin a persons life. Its not just about friends, but knowing when to speak up and say something when out in society if someone needs something brought to their attention, you need to interact at some level with all sorts of people, the cashiers at grocery or bank, etc... co workers and/or boss, neighbors and so on. We can not escape having to interact with other humans throughout our life. So unless you want to spend the rest of your life being miserable and your life still feeling unsatisfactory, then the solution, I hope you see now, is to overcome shyness. I have a document I can paste here for you on all the steps to overcoming shyness. If you feel ready to do so, then go to my column and write me from there asking for the document to overcoming shyness and I will send it to you right away.

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As i've noticed recently, my friend has become more touchy during the conversation but not in a gross way or pervert way but more like a patting on my shoulder or like when someone comforts the other person either they touch their arms or pat on their shoulder gently, that sort of touch. I ain't got a clue but he's a lovely lad and we laugh and joke a lot. He says he will miss me when I'm away on a summer holiday, 'i said, yeah you will, you'll miss me big time, he smiled and said, no, we will stay in contact ok, I said, alright then. He's curious as well, asks me questions not a lot but he does about how I am and if I'm going on a holiday with my bf and I replied no, he's not, this time. He always offers me a drink or sandwich if he's having one, sometimes KFC. I'm just trying to understand why is he being so nice as We're only friends?! Or am I being a fool? I do admit I fancy him. Thanks a bunch you all.

Did it occur to you that there's a chance he is only settling for just friends now because the other position is taken? Meaning you have a bf? Unless the guy is one like me who naturally 'talks' with their hands and will often use to touch other people in emphasis on whats said, then he is likely trying to drop hints that if you were single he would be interested. He may not have had feelings before but during the times of seeing you, a spark caught and began to grow. Well, that is a possibility. Maybe he is picking up on the fact that you fancy him, which is all the invite a guy needs to know he just might still have a chance with you. You mention a bf only in fact that he asked about him. You didn't say if you still like your bf or not. The main reason for dating should be to determine if the person being dated is exactly what you like in a relationship, or if you discover things about him harmful to a relationship, you drop him. The ultimmate goal is finding someone who can be your life time partner either long term or in marriage. If you are not that serious, then if dating only to have a bf who is just a social partner, for going to dinner, movies, hanging out with, romance and sex, then there is no reason to stay with the current one if you can not see him as a future husband and dad. The new guy is only going to leave what he thinks are hints. If he's single but knows you are not, he is never going to confess his feelings or ask you out, so as not to make trouble with your current relationship. So are you truly happy with current one? It would help you to have a list of qualities you are looking for in a man so you screen all guys against that list. The best one gets to be your bf if he is just as interested in you. You may be afraid to let the other bf go and alter find out this friend does not have those kinds of feelings for you. However from what you wrote, he's only recently changed and become more touching with you. If the vibes you were picking up from him still felt like just friends, then you would not have written. I believe your woman's intuition has felt something in the vibes and energy field around him that has changed. And yes, feelings of like or love can change. It doesn' t have to be a big flame of love that is felt instantly from the start or close to it. Attraction and love can develop over time and slowly grow like glowing coal and sparks to a burning fire. And this kind of love in the long run is as strong as the instant one.

If you decide you just have to ask him if the touches mean anything, you could try something like: Hey, I've noticed that of lately, as my friend you have changed a bit, touching me more in conversation. It makes me wonder if your feelings for me are changing. So am I reading this wrong or is something changing here? I know I have a bf but I do ALSO fancy you as a person. So I am just wondering what you can tell me."

He could be scared and decide not to share his true feelings if they exist. Or he may assure you that he still only cares about you as a friend and if his touches are bothering you, he will stop at once. You never know what a response will be.
But don't fall into trap of just accepting something he says if it is unclear, leaves you with even more questions, or totally confused. Too many women do this, not asking and probing further, then find it bugging them so much they write me to ask what the guy meant. I can only guess. If this happens, you'd have to ask him to make his response more plain for you cus you do not understand what he meant. You can also feed back what you think he meant in different words asking if that is what he meant. He can either choose to be truthful or lie. And you will have to base any of your decisions if any at all, based on what he says whether true or not.

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A boy says, I won't give up on you during the chat. He says, if he has to he will help me till his last breath. Thing is he's helping me with my lesson and I'm obviously not picking up fast now is this just friendly thing to say to a girl mate? By the way, he's super nice.

That's a friendly and encouraging thing to say to anyone, not just a girl mate. All that you need is some comparison to realize he is being positive and patient with you rather than short, mean and negative such as if he'd said, 'You are a hopeless cause, I give up. You can't be helped.

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I know you aren't doctors but perhaps someone here has had this problem or a non-medical approach to dealing with it. In 2015 I had my gallbladder removed due to plaque build up they call gall stones. This was diagnosed after 7 or 8 years of attacks that would result in vomit at random times that looked like motor oil and diarrhea.

The gallbladder is a pouch below the liver that you can function pretty much without. The primary function is to help with digestion of fat and to move bile from it to the bile duct.

While I seldom vomit at all these days or have diarrhea I do find myself having unbearable cramps, sudden need to poop or diarrhea after eating or drinking certain foods. I do a lot of work downtown and often have to eat. I avoid fast-foods as much as possible but do like coffee and go to fast-food places last resort.

Problem is I get those intense cramps and symptoms mentioned only sometimes and when I try to eliminate certain foods it works for awhile and then try them again and it's okay and then start eating it again and bang. It can also happen with stuff I eat at home but not as a regular staple. More or less I'm looking for a way of sorting this all out with no more pain or sudden ahem issues.

The surgeon never gave me a list of stuff never to touch either except that he knew a vice which I'm trying to stop was drinking pop but that's not an every single day thing either. If anybody has any ideas it would be welcomed as I'm totally at a loss.

Incidentally, the cramps I am talking about are excruitiating to the point it feels like someone has stabbed me with a knife multiple times and twisted around in my sides. It has gotten to the point that sometimes I will be on toilet with the first issue while throwing up in pain from it. It's brutal when it happens and being downtown and unable to go about my business freely is making me not only sick but annoyed.

I had my gall bladder removed in 2005. I was told the liver would take over some of the work of the gall bladder but that it is wise to cut down on fat intake.
I have always leaned more towards natural health and avoiding becoming ill rather than try the band aid solution of just treating symptoms without checking out what might be the root cause of the issue to begin with. Dr.s don't have the time to research this. You tell them why you came to see them, they give you meds or do a surgery but they probably know as little as you do as to what might be causing it so it will be up to you to discover what foods, spices, supplements, etc you need and what to avoid.
I had a period of time earlier this year where I had explosive gas along with diarrhea and it had lasted two weeks already. I'd never had that in my life and with all the reaearch I do plus subscribing on facebook to pages like natural health, Non GMOs and i want to eat 100% healthy, I began to receive articles about all sorts of illnesses and what things can cause them.

Other than reducing fat, I believe there are other things that can over time weaken your body and its systems and organs so you don't function properly.

So after being sick 2 weeks, I researched on line Ayurvedic medicine to take a test answering questions as to what of 3 main body types I was as these 3 types require totally different diets from the others. Once I knew whether I was a Vatta, Pitta or Kapha, I then looked up a list of diet ok for my body type. The list also shows what not to take and why. Some foods will cause gas in you but not in others, and diarrhea in you but not others. I would suggest checking it out as this is what I changed to get better. I also started taking probiotics and super dosing on vitamins.

Since you stated if you stop taking something and afterwards when you try again, initially you have no problems but after some time the problem comes back, you just may not be able to eat certain things at all anymore. Our bodies change every 7 yrears, all the cells replacing themselves so you can develop and allergy you never had and or have it go away again after 7 yrs. I mention this just in case it applies as I became allergic to onions for about 8 yrs and after, I was able to eat without doubling over in extreme pain that felt as bad as passing a gallstone which i'd done in past.

There are more people today than ever before also allergic to gluten in grains or lactose in dairy or nut or another food allergy but these 3 are becoming extremely common since the introduction of GMO seeds and high use of pesticides on those foods. Why is this relevant, if you do everything diet wise to cut out things your body type should have and that still doesn't help, then your body may be so overloaded with toxins that it can't keep you at even keel or even repair itself. All humans now carry vast amounts of toxins in our bodies and our bodies seem able to handle quite a lot and still be fairly healthy. Sometimes there is something you ingest, or sometimes its where you live that can be a problem too if something bad is in the water supply, that too can cause health problems. Have the Dr. check you out. If you are told you have something like a digestive or intestinal illness, they only know how to treat symptoms, not prevent it or even to get halfway better or at least deal with the pain. If they can find nothing wrong, you still can try things on your own to get better. I would start with educating yourself on Organic vs GMO and find out what symptoms people used to have until they stopped the diet they had, this includes what you drink. The more processed an item the less healthy it is. Convenience and fast foods and snacks are also not healthy. A daughter went on gluten free diet due to her issues with wheat. I can't say to you that there is just one easy thing that may be causing this problem for you. I was horrified when working fast food to find out what is going on with soda in our dispensing machine. People who are trying to avoid sugar substitutes due to health issues they cause and just get regular coke or whatever, are not actually getting that. Any flavored coke drinks don't come in sugar free options so people are being given the diet stuff. By the way, diet sugars are just as bad as any sugar like cane sugar for diabetics. I carry the best sugar substitute, Stevia straight, not the blends that also have bad stuff in them. Sometimes our bodies begin to suffer due to a prescription drug we take and that causes side effects that we have to take drugs for that all come with their own side effects as well. Thats just one example. So if you drink lots of pop, you may be reacting to whats in them. Coffee is also not very healthy is drinken every day or several times a day. Over time you can become addicted to the caffeine and the acid in coffee in bad for the stomach. If I drink coffee to often, even decaff, I will eventually have diarrhea issues and gas just due to the acids after too many days having it. On occasion I order decaff and it was accidentally caffeinated. Drinking one like that, since I am so sensitive to caffeine means that within 15-20 minutes I am in the bathroom with the runs, it goes right thru me. There's not much that can be done to undo how toxic we've made our planet but we still do have some choices and I have read of people who went to organics and buying local grown from farmers who dont use pesticides, or vegan or paleo diets to get healthy and totally got over their health problems and many of them were stomach issues, allergies or intestinal problems like irritable bowel syndrome or colitis, Crohns disease.
As for the pain, I have been reading much on medical cannabis for pain relief as well as doing the miracle of healing other diseases like Parkinsons or Cancer. If that is a possibilty where you live, you'd want the one with least amount of THC in it as that is what is the most psycho active ingrediant. The CBDs or Cannabinoids are the healing part. Sativa plants have higher CBD levels while Indica's have higher THC, and there are blends. What people has found worked best on their pain at very least if not also curing them, was using the CBD oil in a syringe taking the amount of a kernal of rice in the mouth and this way it goes to the liver, better effects than just inhaling it. I can't think of anything else but If you want websites on any of the particular things I've mentioned, I will look for some good examples for you.

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I never told my dermatologist about my psych medication because he wouldn't put me on accutane if I did. I've had derms turn me down before.

How do you know the dermatologist would turn you down. There could be a reason other than other drugs you take, where accutane might not be the best for you or right for you. If the Dr. didn't know because you never told him, then unless he can read minds or psychically investigate all your memories, theres no way for him to know. In the future, do not with-hold information of other prescription drugs you take as there could be a drug interaction that either cancels one or the other out or does something inside you that is life threatening. I used to be a caregiver with a client on a mental health drug and her diabetic medicine wasn't working so she was given a new drug, really new on the market so there were no drug interactions yet on it. Then the two drugs together lowered her blood pressure so that she passed out. She called me and after a talk with the pharmacist, told her to stop the new drug until she could get in to see the Dr. on Monday since it was weekend. It didn't sound like either one was a very new drug. And even if it wasn't, people who are on both who have a reaction or are questioning something that happens, need to let their Dr. know. Dr.s have to send in reports of what drugs and what the side effect was. If people chose not to tell all to their Dr. as you have done, then the medical staff and pharmacists might never know there is a problem. Lots of this stuff with drugs is a wait and see what happens if one is new. I looked for links regarding taking both drugs and any interactions and as of today's date, no one has reported any bad interactions between taking both. Here is the site so you can see for yourself: http://www.ehealthme.com/drug-interaction/latuda/accutane/

However, you can also call the pharmacy you use and ask the head pharmacist to be sure, just in case the website isn't updated well. A pharmacist has to know this and warn a customer or they could lose their job over needless issues with death being the worst of possible problems. I have had Drs fail to tell me about the usual drug intervention things. I was once on the pill and needed an antibiotic. the Dr failed to ask if I was on the pill because the antibiotic would cancel out the effect of pill as long as I took the antibiotic. I found that out when i went to the Pharmacy. I was asked if I was on any birth control and when I said yes, the pharmacist told me that the effect of pill would be canceled out during time I took the medicine and if I wanted sex during this time, i'd have to rely on using condoms. Glad someone told me. The best policy when given a new prescription is to ask the Dr and pharmacist both!!! if there are any drug interventions for the two. The medical records of any clinic, Dr. office, hospital and any specialist medical services are all connected on the internet now. With my client, as I took her to like a Foot specialist, her neurologist could see on line she had seen that other Dr. and had a lis of all drugs she used. I don't know why they don't refer to that list when prescribing another drug and letting you know to look for certain signs of trouble or that you have nothing to worry about.
I'm on the west coast and thats what i've found with medical records and history here. Not sure if it is the same across the US or where you live so you need to be sure that next time you see your Dr. you take a list of all medications prescription you are on, the prescribing Dr. the name of drug, the amount of milligrams of tablet and how many you take how often. This all needs to go into your medical records. Every Dr has at least a folder with your name on it and handwritten notes at each visit. Some have that and the internet for records too.

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Hey guys,
Just curious, ny crush is saying a lot that he likes my company and he says we have a good banter. Haven't got a guts to ask him out but I just want to make sure that he's likes me even though we've known for half a year. Thankyou

Since you've been friends for 6 months, there's a perfect way to find out if he likes you only as a friend, or if he feels chemistry with you or is open to trying that.
Since some guys are scared of rejection or just scared to ask when not sure how the girl feels, he might not ever ask in words that you get. A guy might think he is leaving hints that tell you he is interested in moving on to a romantic couple but sometimes the hints are not obvious or the girl doesn't pick up on it.

Having good conversation is important but since he said he likes your company and since being best friends is one of two solid foundations to a successful relationship, I would say to go for it and say the following:
You know, we've been getting along really well as friends. It makes me wonder how we might do as more than friends. (Putting this image in his mind, if he doesn't feel anything towards you that could support a dating relationship, then he will be quick to steer you in another direction so you need to ask the following after the first part, "What do you think?" No were here have you said anything as scary as you are crushing on him or professing existing feelings which can scare away a guy if he only wants friendship. Asking his opinion in this way does not hint that you already like him and that's how you want to do it. If he's been wanting to find a way to start dating you in a romantic relationship, then he'll easily see this as his chance and give you a positive answer. If he only wants to remain friends, then you'd have to be content to just be friends but at least he won't feel awkward knowing how you truly feel so you won't lose your friend. If he wants to be only friends, continues to prefer your company and doesn't start dating in the next couple of months, and you are too miserable being only a friend and willing to lose him as a friend, then you could take a chance to be a bit more revealing in what you say, "I am starting to have deeper feelings for you. Wondering how you feel." Key is to say 'starting' cus this leaves the impression that you aren't there yet, just starting and it might give him a chance to convince you to only remain friends, or in the extra 2,3 4 months perhaps he may have changed his mind how he feels but be afraid to say so since he once said no. This would be your last chance to say something that is non threatening for a guy to hear. Either way, you need to respect his wishes if he doesn't feel the same. Chemistry isn't something that comes later, a person will know at the beginning. Feeling chemistry and feeling love are two different things. I don't believe there can be a good solid loving relationship if two people don't have chemistry together. Love can be there in the beginning. However for many, rather than love at first sight, feeling like you caught cupids arrow, it is a subtle change over time as you learn more about the person you have chemistry with, and all these things about you, endear you to him. Some love isn't an instant blazing fire but starts as a glowing coal and works slowly toward a blazing love. How soon that happens has no specific date. But those who spend alot more time together can learn the things they need to know and experience to fall in love.

Hope this helps you dear.

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Ok, so, I'm only 13, and I am lactose intolerant. I still eat dairy reulatly. But after I eat any type.of dairy, I have diarrhea. I was worried this would happen, and it did. I am pretty sure I have an external hemroid. It's purplish in color, and somewhat large. It is causing discomfort. I really don't want to tell my parents.. plus I hate going to the doctors. How do I cute these on my own?

I am guessing you think you're too young to have hemorroids by your question mark. It is not something that happens to just older people but to anyone, any age who has severe constipation or you only have the extremes of going from constipation to diarrhea, a sign that your intestinal health is suffering greatly.

The most common reason for hemorroids is having to strain hard for bowel movements which means you are constipated. Long term constipation can cuase hemorroids. However diarrhea can also.

Lactose can contribute to constipation discomfort and pain during hemorrhoid outbreaks. Dairy does contribute to the production of gas, which can contribute to hemorrhoid pain and stomach cramps if you are already constipated.

The best thing to learn is how to prevent this happening in the future. When it is this bad, the only way I know to get rid of it is to be treated by a doctor.

By prevention, I am talking about two things, no lactose and more fiber.
Lactose first. There is milk at the grocers right next to the regular milk that is labeled Lactose free. I haven't seen them in gallon size, just half gallon and quarts sometimes. I would recommend switching to this. There are a few groceries starting to stock lactose free yogurts as well. Ice-cream too can be found in lactose free. But they are generally much smaller containers for the same amount as larger ones or even more expensive. Cheese, well I haven't come across lactose free but there are the vegan types of cheese substitutes made from soybean and such. So it can get quite expensive. It may be better to cut down on dairy products and purchase Lactaid, a chew-able tablet you can purchase at your local pharmacy, made to take just before you eat any dairy, and that way you can get away with eating dairy.

As for more fiber, I am posting a link to a list with an article to read.
http://greatist.com/health/surprising-high-fiber-foods

Beans are known for fiber. there are some veggies and fruit on the list. While beans work half the time for me...avocado's work the best so I eat a small one every other day. Every-ones body is a little different than the next person so what works best for one may not for the other. YOu might have to try just one thing at a time to see if there are any significant changes in your ability to poop easily. Generally drier poop without fiber is smaller pieces, even just pebble sized bits. Fiber fill poop is fluffier looking and comes out in much longer pieces.

You can do all the right things to prevent it but I don't know of anything that will get rid of it like a home remedy. Natural supplement stores sometimes sell a product that works great on just starting small hemorroids, but as I said, when its bulging and large, I'd have to say its gone on for quite a while to get so large and its likely lots of the finer blood vessels that are now misplaced and bulging out. When such a hemorroid goes untreated, you rish a chance of it rupturing and bleeding and then getting an infection that can make you quite ill. So tell the parents anyways, no matter how scared you are cus you either see a doctor who determines if a medicine can shrink it or it needs other treatment, or you can continue to go uncomfortable for the rest of your life until the day it somehow becomes infected. Heres another link where you can read about infected hemorroids which will happen at some point of you don't get treatment ever.
http://hemorrhoids-cured.com/how-to-treat-infected-hemorrhoids/

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so ive had multiple bouts of bronchitis all year last year and here I am sick again...yellow, green and red phlegm is coming out ....should I go too the ER for a chest x-ray or the DR's office where there are no x-ray machines there? my dr told me before if I get bronchitis again, go too the ER for a full chest x-ray to make sure I don't have walking pneumonia.
what should I do?

go to ER immediately if you haven't yet. I had acute bronchitis this year, New Years Day I went to ER. I had lots of coughing and phlegm for about 10 days and was using Mucinex to help with the phlegm but I was long enough I didn't realize I was getting worse until New Years Eve late when I was coughing so hard that I felt weak and about to throw up. I cannot describe how in hours I went to feeling so much worse. I told hubby I wanted to go to ER and I am not one to run to Dr. much. It calmed down enough for me to sleep but in the morning we went to ER. When a Dr. saw me, he feared it had turned into walking pheumonia and ordered chest xrays cus thats how bad I sounded. I was clear but he said bronchitis often leads to walking pneumonia and people do die from that if it gets bad enough and is not treated. I've never heard of red phlegm so that is not normal already. Don't play Russian roulette with your life, go to the Emergency cus we really have no way of knowing how many days before something like this gets bad enough to kill you.

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So, there's this boy in my Spanish class at my new school. We have the same likes from what I heard him talk about. He looks cute, and acts cute, and he's just perfect! The problem is, I'm a shy, reclusive nerd that can barely hold a conversation. I'm sometimes so quiet the other person can barely hear me. Is there any way to start up a conversation normally without sounding too weird? Going up to him and just start talking is go I g to be a bit awkward since I barely talk to the guy. I do want to become friends with him first, to maybe make the situation a bit more comfortable. I should also point put that I have no idea if he's single or not. I would ask someone, but I have no o e I can trust. He I re facts with other females but he doesn't act like they are in any type of romantic relationship. I'm not the best looking person in the world, far from it actually, so flirting would be pretty bad for me. I'm 15 year old female if that helps. This is a lot of information and it's not organized very well, but advice would be very much appreciated, thanks in advance!

Summer started off with be yourself and hold your inner feelings, both are great advice. I will go into more detail to help you understand. I used to be shy or in todays vernacular it is called "social anxiety" and I had it bad from as early as I have memories of myself, before school days even. I am no longer like that so it you wish to have an exercise that helps you overcome being so shy, then let me know writing back, and I will send you that lesson with all the simple steps. If it could help me and I was real bad, then it can help you.

Now about being yourself..it really is important that you only do what minor adjustments to who you are, are ones that will help you navigate the entire remainder of your life with as little difficulty as possible. I can't imagine having social anxiety for life and I don't beleive prescriptions are the cure here for this. NOt at all. People try to pretend to be someone they are not in order to catch the interest of someone they like. The problem with if you choose to "act" like you are more outgoing and have no problem talking to others including him, is that it is just an ACT like a role in a play, it isn't who you are underneath where you are still shaking, nervous, shy and scared. A person may fall for the fake role you show and when you show your true self later as you relax with a friend or BF, then they may not like what they see of the real you. But is shyness the real you? I hardly think so, but then I am older and have had more life experiences. Some people are naturally more quiet types, don't like large circles of friends, and are not people of many words, that is an actual personality type. but even though they prefer not to talk as much, they have no problem with talking in a clear loud enough voice when needed and without feeling nervous or awkward. so although there are set personality types, there is a little room for improvement. As to the advice of holding your inner feelings, I have found experts advise to simply become a friend first without stating you like them or love them. Once a person is friends with you, let some time go by as just hanging as friends because the next thing you say depends on having some history of friendship to look back at. "Since we get along so well as friends, it makes me wonder if we might do as well as more than friends. What do you think?" You aren't saying lets do it, just asking his opinion which is already a good thing. Guys like to be acknowledged for how they think and feel about things in their world . Not declaring current feelings helps to not scare a guy off by having to reject you for lack of same romantic feelings. It is a way of mentally outwitting a guy who may be as nervous or scared of girls in general as you of him.ready having romantic or love interest in him. You are simply wondering if both of you can work toward that by just trying dating. This is not as scary to a guy as rejecting a girl who already states she feels that way. No one like turning someone down but in life, that has to happen at times and when young we don't know how to do that or are scared to and just leaving a person hanging without giving any answer. This way of asking an already male friend, means he feels more open to telling you the truth if he has no romantic interest, only friendship interest, because in his mind, he's not letting you down, as he doesn't know your true feelings. However if he does have interest a guy will grab at the chance to explore and want to try.

Don't let how you look worry you. with every guy I ever dated and husband now, guys are not as picky as we are about ourselves. They don't see something as a negative, or ugly just because the female feels that way. I am older and my eyebrow hairs are actually falling out and not growing back. I let him know it bothered me and he said it didn't detract from him loving how I look. I still look terrific to him. Guys in your age range are only just starting to venture out into discovering their sexuality and finding they have interest or desire for someone of the opposite sex or same sex. But beyond that we don't tend to give it much thought. Guys are as afraid of making the first move as you are. Other guys, eventually the more mature, gentlemanly type will show a desire to be around you but leave it up to you without saying so, to make the first move for asking out, holding hands, kissing. Heck, I had to give my second husband the first kiss but once you do, this is a sign to them that you are interested in being a couple. So I am saying that even to start with gaining him as a friend first, you likely will still have to make the first move. For fun, if you don't beleive me, of those girls who have boyfriends, ask how many asked the guy first rather than him asking her. I am betting only a quarter of dating couples have a the guy ask first.
The number of people in the world born looking like models without having to dress special, do their hair a special way and make up, etc are very very few, from gatherings of 1000 church members I would say its 1 in a 1000. Very few. So the girls who look like models only look so because of the amount of effort they put into 'transforming themselves into this different look, stuffing bras or in later years, boob jobs, botox, every skin cream, perfume, hair cut, cut of clothes and expensive brand names, makeup and nails done and none of it is how they really look. I once saw the pastors wife without the glamour she put on for Sunday service as she ran out for a quick errand hoping not to run into anyone she knew. I saw her but she didn't see me as I saw somebody I didn't recognize at first, she was as average looking as me. I know how to doll myself up for dates out with my sweetie and guys love that too. But most want a female who isn't afraid to be herself in looks and personality, who is easy to talk with, has a sense of humor and can laugh at him as well as make him laugh, and is versatile in the different roles she takes, how she acts in class, how she acts when with her family. They feel more comfortable talking to girls who aren't obviously giggling around them, flirting and trying to catch the guys attention, they want to have a conversation with you as a female friend as if they were talking with a male friend only females can be more interesting if they have things in common as you stated you heard, and the girl is acting naturally as a friend rather than acting all weird on him. It puts the guy at ease. Many girls have written who are the only girl in a group of friends where all the friends are male and she is accepted and liked secretly by one or two as more than friends. But what I am saying is important, to act natural.

An important point is: Don't be afraid of messing up and confessing it. I found the best way to feel comfortable again is to not pretend I am fumbling or scared but to admit it. Whatever you say, you've got a start with what you've overheard. If I were you, I would start with something like asking how he likes the class, does he find it hard or easy, how'd he do on the last test. And then before he asks why you are asking him that question or if he has asked you rather than answering just tell the truth. Women make talking to men too complicated. Guys don't like complicated and their minds don't work like ours, they like straight forward answers.

So just admit:: You know, to be honest, I decided to come talk to you because I overheard you talking over time and it seems you and I might have some things in common we like. (Then mention some of the things you've heard, giving him a chance to make comments at what you say. And if you get tongue tied or start stuttering or feeling awkward, admit it again. Its not a show of weakness but braveness to tell someone something you wouldn't tell just anyone and makes them already feel special that you can share this with them of all people. How to admit you are messing up, "Sorry,( insert name, I'll use Trevor)Trevor, but I feel kind of awkward because I have never talked to guys before and I know it should be natural but there are some differences to guy and girls in how they think and communicate. I would love to have a male friend I have things in common with and would appreciate finding a guy who would help me learn how to talk to guys easily without finding it so awkward. (Give him a crazy smile with eyebrows lifted questioningly) So what do you think, would you be interested in helping me as a friend?" That's all you have to say. Asking for his help is the fastest way to get a males attention because they liketo be asked to help, most of them, not the few jerks who only love or care about themselves. 9 out of 1o males will want to help with whatever is asked of them by any female. In your early conversations at school, you may want to try to compliment him on things you are observing in him. Men like compliments too and will respond to a female who notices these things in him. To be sure ask if he chooses his own clothes. Then no matter if he or Mom does, you can say, well either way, you look good in that color (or style) be honest. If you don't like him in brown, don't say so. Be sincere so you don't have to remember any untruths you've spoken and keep them straight. If you like the kind of stuff he thinks about and shares, then compliment with, "I like the way your mind works" and guys will always try to get a girl to laugh. I have laughed at something a guy said, quite often actually, and no matter who it is, their eyes just light up and they smile or laugh too because it makes them feel good to have made a female laugh. So you could compliment with, "I like your sense of humor. You always can make me laugh or cheer me up." This agan makes them feel good. People tend to like to be around those who make them feel good about themselves. People like to be liked, really noticed and complimented. I can't guarantee in the end that you'll discover he likes you romantically. But if he is willing to start as a friend, he has a chance to get to know you better in a non pushy or assumptive position like bf where he'll feed the girl expects more from him than he may be ready to give. For a guy, its all about getting to know a girl very well before they decide if they also want her as more than a friend, but a girlfriend, romantic love. Yes, in HS you can fall in love but these don't last forever as both are learning and growing as a person even thru college years and two people, even if it were your BFF female friend, you can just become two totally different people than you were before starting as friends so you drift away and go separate ways. Its a no fault, nothing wrong with either, just too different to make a match. But I can say one thing, even I, happily married still wonder about certain guys, if I had been more self confident or made the first move, would we have dated at all, or even married? You don't want to wonder a big what if for the rest of your life, even if it might turn out you only dated in HS and moved apart after that.

If you feel that tips on how to start a conversation isn't enough and you need help with gaining self confidence quickly, I have a trick for that too I read in a womans magazine. I did an even better version of it and it worked so well I was astounded. It has more to do with the vibes people pick up from you rather than your looks that will boost your self confidence. Let me know if you want the instructions on that or on how to overcome shyness, or both if you need that.
Good luck hon.

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So I dated this girl for half a year, and everyone was suprised bc I was the first girl she'd ever dated so everyone thought she was straight... over the summer she broke up with me for another guy, but when school started up we started going out again. Well, first off she started telling the guy from summer that she wanted to date him again once she broke up with me, then she cheated on me with someone else a few months later. Last month we met up and she gave me a ring and kept kissing and hugging me but then she started snapchatting this guy Will while I was with her, who a few months before she had made out with at a party, and now goes to the mall with her friends and makes out with him. All her friends give the guys theyre with blowjobs in the bathroom, but my ex always told me she wasnt sexually attracted to guys... Theres a rumor that she gave Will a blowjob and theyre trying to have sex now. Should I believe the rumors? Should I confront her??? People have made up things about her before that turned out to be false, so I just dont know what to do. PS. Maybe I should mention that shes really popular bc shes "sexy" and her and her friends do rebellious stuff like drinking and drugs and shoplifting, while im popular bc im nice to everyone so therefore they all like me. But she says mean stuff about my best friends bc she thinks theyre too "pure"..

I am really confused hon. I am only going by your exact words and the use of words implies two different things. First sentence:So I dated this girl for half a year, and everyone was suprised bc I was the first girl she'd ever dated(this implies that the person dated was a girl and that you are a girl and thus it is either that you're both gay or bi-sexual.)
over the summer she broke up with me for another guy
(If you had left out the word 'another', it would make sense, she left you, a female for a guy. But to put in 'another guy' means in addition to the first guy which would be you. So I do not know if you are male or female.)So if I understand correctly, it isn't just the summer guy she left you for but as you stated "then she cheated on me with someone else a few months later. This would imply 2 different people she dumped you at different times for. So it's not that she may be torn between you and summer guy that keeps her breaking up and going back and forth. Short times of relationship and going for a new person makes me wonder if she is either confused about her sexuality and acting out this way in immaturity because of it, or she just plain old has a character flaw of being too loose with her morals. By what you state later, "her and her friends do rebellious stuff like drinking and drugs and shoplifting, I would heavily lean toward the fact that she has no morals at all if she can steal, doesn't care about what she's doing to her body, and won't commit to one but will have sex with whomever comes along, be it you, other guys, other girls, the guy named Will. I really wonder why if you are nothing like her, that you have even aligned yourself with her as a friend let alone anything more serious like a couple relationship. I feel like I must be missing some critical information here.

" Last month we met up and she gave me a ring and kept kissing and hugging me" I fail to see the reason of the importance of the ring in the story. You did not state why she gave it to you. What did she say when she gave it to you because that would give me more to understanding her. If you just accepted it without asking questions, then I would have to say that communication between you two could use some improving. If she said sorry, then the girt was to placate you and make you feel better about her or to make her feel better cus she had been feeling guilty. Or perhaps, she likes giving gifts and it has no other significance, or she apoligized and promised to be only true to you and never sleep around again and that this ring was a symbol of that, maybe she never apologized and just assumed you'd go along with her wishes to get back together if she gave you a ring, to show that you were her partner, or perhaps it was all a playacting to keep stringing you along and keep you interested in her, because she accompanied it with lots of kissing and hugging. There is nothing in your story to tell me if she is a kissy-huggy type of person who does this all the time. So I tend to beleive that it was more of a performance she put on for your benefit.

"my ex always told me she wasn't sexually attracted to guys" (You used the word EX so that means you are no longer together which means that it isn't any of your business whether rumors are true or not and you need to move on. Then her stating she's not attracted to guys could be a total lie, cus if she were gay, she would not be attracted to guys sexually, you can be attracted to having them as a friend. But she is doing more than friend-like things with Will or any other guy. She could be bi-sexual, liking both males and females for romance and sex. And though she likely knows it if she's bi, she may not be okay with it, denying her feelings for both. And that may account for why she keeps breaking up and switching from one sex to the other. She sticks with one as long as she can resist the lure of the opposite sex and then she does it again, attempting as a bi-sexual to do a string of back to back monogamous relationships. I have known a handful of bi-sexual women. A neighbor was and introduced me to some of her friends. I am not but I saw that not a single one did monogamous relationships with one sex then switching to the other. So my impression is that being bi-sexual, you can be relating to both sexes at the same time. All these women were in 30s or older and were married and their husbands were very understanding of the wives desire also for women. So though married, they were free to have female partners on the side and did so often. It is a much more complex relationship style and often too hard for the teen crowd or even 20 somethings to have the maturity and experience to handle well. More often than not, young people are still in the stages of discovering what they really like in a relationship & sexually and it can change a little as they grow older, as to whom you are attracted to as you grow more mature and often people can grow apart if way too different. And that seems to be the case here. Your description of yourself puts you in a whole different ballpark than her. You both are living your lives so vastly different that I can not imagine how the two of you ever hooked up. Since you state that she is sexy, well those opinions are in the eye of the beholder so whether she is seen that way by every living human is not likely, but you may have felt so special and privileged that whom you saw as a sexy person would want you. Beauty hon, goes much deeper than just skin and hair and bone structure. A persons character and personality can be beautiful and thats very important. I don't know your ages, but many younger people today are growing up not learning some basics to being a young adult that we learned in my generation. Things like how to cook, how to balance your bank account, how to keep to a budget, how to keep up ones home or room, not concept of what good manners are, how to even speak face to face with people since the onset of texting, and lacking common sense, lacking knowledge and/or experience on how to treat another human in a relationship with you, or how to treat others in general having no concept of the golden rule 'treating others the way you want to be treated.' I just have a hunch here that you and her do not fall into the 30 or over crowd so naiveness, immaturity either due to lack of basic adult social skills education or due to choosing willing to do the opposite and break laws, burn your bridges, and break up relationships are things that may be big issues for her or maybe you also until each person decides what it is you want out of life, what you will allow in your life or not, etc...

Just in case you think that your being nice is actually a good influence to her and that in time it will change her, you can't really know that. Unless you feel its your life role to be in a relationship with people who need to get off the wrong track in life. I was married at 20 to a man who turned out to be verbally abusive. So though I felt I was mature at 20, looking back I realize I really knew next to nothing of the ability to judge a persons character (for myself not tossing insults in their face) I wish I knew then what I know now. I wouldn't have married him. Your only issue may be not yet having figured out the best way to judge a person for their character. A psychiatrist my ex went to, told me that when a person has made bad choices and life and is not ready to change, there is nothing a counselor can do to help them improve their character. Most people hate change, even if its for the better. WHy? I don't know. Change is scary, like a new school, new job, etc. but it shouldn't be scary to become a better person, rather, an enjoying challenge, but not scary. So really, I don't see any reason for you to even be in a relationship with or hoping to get back with her. You haven't given a reason I can understand in your message. The very fact that she puts down the people you have for friends shows that she has no desire currently to be like them. Hopefully she will change 10 years from now. As the psychiatrist told me, some people never change in an entire lifetime and are the same as they were younger. If there are any improvements, they are usually very minor ones, only known to the individual but not to those who must interact with them. With that prognosis, I did not stay any longer because I realized that putting myself in harms way as far as a relationship in which I was mistreated, was a choice and a bad one as I was not choosing to love myself fully. Maybe 75% but not a 100% cus in this one area of relationships, I was choosing to stay with a man who mistreated me. Thats not only drama, but painful and hurtful, stress ful and depending on how long a person is subjected to relationship stress, the stress can have adverse effects on your mental health and physical health cus it needs to go somewhere. I got hit with every stress caused health concern there can be except for cancer or heart attack. So if you choose to want to go back to her and play revolving door relationship with her, that is up to you but I am hoping you are far past that and ready for a life without her or that kind of treatment from anybody else. So let it go, let it go....as the disney song states. Don't look back wondering what is true or what are rumors about her. Take away the runors and there is still an overwhelming amount of evidence that you know as the truth, to give you reason to stay away from her forever.

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Does a bloke ever compliments a woman in a way like, you're very generous, how kind of you, you're beautiful, you're a good girl? Sometimes, it's bit too much, I guess. I don't give him much compliment but he does everytime we see each other. Or is he after something? I reckon I like him, at least a little. Known for a few months and we got to know each other. He's a nice man and became friends. Thank you everyone

Does he punctuate all his conversations with several of these on a daily basis? Or are all the words he speaks not regular conversation but compliments only. If compliments only, he may have some sort of social disability, not able to act in a more normal manner which comes naturally to most but some don't get it. Or he may have grown up in a family that complimented often and you may not. I can't say what is too many. But most people err on the other side of not complimenting others enough. If this is the only problem you have with him, then continue to enjoy his company as a friend and see where it leads. I just thought of another thing I heard somewhere, that men like compliments too and he may be looking for some in return to use as a gauge of how interested you might be in him. A compliment that many men like is being told that you like the way they think. Other such personal compliments if you really mean them, will mean alot to the guy.

If you find you prefer not to compliment, maybe you are thinking of it too much as a phoney or misleading saying like when we all ask someone 'How are you doing?" when its just another way we say HI or Hello and are not really interested in knowing how the person is doing. Compliments can be fake and all conversation sugar coated. I think your woman's intuition will let you know if that's the case here or not. If you really want to know if he's after some goal here, then you might try to find the words to ask him but keep in mind his feelings and not wanting to upset him in case he is being nice with no ulterior motives. I usually will point possible blame on myself in such a convo. LIke for example: "You sure do compliment me alot. And I know I don't reciprocate as much. Maybe its the way I was raised or I have some preconceived idea about it than less is best. So I don't want you upset by my asking you a question. there are some things I don't know well enough about you yet to know if your compliments are genuine or if it is part of some goal you are seeking. THat may sound bad, but in todays times, a lady gets all sorts of types of men wanting to befriend or date her because of ulterior motives. So I feel I have to ask." If a guy is truly not having any bad ulterior motives, he will not be upset with your question and will agree with you that it is good that you question things for your safety and then he will answer you. If a guy is very immature, naive, lacking good dating or relationship knowledge, and takes things too personally, he could get upset, even if he did not have ulterior motives. And this is a sign to be careful as he may not turn out to be a good choice for a friend or more. Then lastly, the guys with something to hide or with motives, will become very upset, outraged. Just say sorry if in person with him and act normal but when away from him, just let him know you are not interested in him as a friend or boyfriend (what ever the case is-for future situations) because a guy who erupts in anger can just as easily become physically violent. I ended several inquiries to a meet up after guys writing to me on dating site and got angry already from my asking an innocent question, thinking I might have misunderstood what he said in last letter. Another I actually went out with for first date when i discovered he had lied to me about not being a smoker (I made certain that guys knew I was allergic to cigarette smoke) Then he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and made up some crazy excuse. I finished the date and didn't call him, next time he called I told him I didn't think we'd work out so I was letting him go. He got angry and said it was because of his smoking and called again several times leaving hateful messages with lots of swear words on my phone. So if brave enough, find a way in your own words to gently get more info out of him. Or just spend more time together as friends, You don't want to catch a potential friend or more than friend person, on only their good days but discover how they are on bad days as well. You haven't been around him long enough to build trust in each other. He may trust sooner and easier than you. Let time show you what he truly is as a person, or if you just have to know, ask nicely as I explained above.

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Why does a crush says you're bossy for a girl and you just love to boss people around, don't you. The thing is I don't think I'm bossy but I'm initiative, I tell him. Yet even though he calls me bossy he always help me helps me with a smile. Sometimes I feel like he loves me to boss him around. We work in a same place. Guy, does he think I'm a bit of a too much coz I like him and we just banter well. He also says, we're pals, I said sarcastically no, we're just a colleague and he says, yeah yeah...Thanks

If he says this quite often, then perhaps there is something he either likes or dislikes about it. I can't say why. No can really can unless they are a mind reader. You may have to ask more direct questions, none that can be answered with a yes or no, so you can get more details. I would guess it doesn't really bother him or else he would not 'come back for more' lol. If a guy doesn't really like something about a girl, he'll just avoid her. Guys aren't into drama, that's why. Besides, he said you're pals and so he's not put off by your personality or characteristics in any way. Your answer of we are just colleagues may confuse him. He may be trying to find out how you feel about him. Do you actually like him as a friend. (an important first step) and step 2 is usually wanting to know if there is a chance to become more than friends. Professing feelings or crushes you already have may still scare a potential bf/gf but it is good to start as friends and then ask the friend is they are willing to try to see if you can do well as more than friends.
I wouldn't worry about his words used such as bossy. He may have a limited vocabulary and just not know of a better word to describe what he sees in you. Since he smiles often, I'd say that whatever he is thinking of a trait of yours, its more complimentary than not at all. Next time he says we're friends, pals, buddies, you could say, yeah, well even work friends can choose to get together other times than see each other at work. So how interested are you in me as a friend. Would you want to hang out on the weekend? (Or what ever example you want to give him.)

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Long story short before my first year of university. My school had a facebook page for class of 2020 to get to know each other, especially since my school is a commuter school its hard to make friends since its the school most people just go for class and then leave as soon as class is done. Unless you are eligible to live on residence (i didnt bother to apply cause the school is just a 40 minute drive) anyways i met two girls on there and we started talking about how we cant wait to see each other and be the three amigas or whatever. So i met Stephanie first on facebook so we literally talked online every single day. So first week of september comes we'll call this girl Rachel. Rachel lives on residence so she automatically got to have the same orientation week as me, while stephanie is a commuter and since shes on a sports team she couldnt go to the orientation week because she had a sports orientation. Anyways i met Rachel at the orientation but it was on the 3rd day of the week so we already had our friend groups so when we met it was literally just a hi and bye and i caught her checking my outfit out as if she was trying to judge how i dress. So fastforward to school starting stephanie and Rachel are in the same program so they have multiple classes with eachother while i didnt have any classes with them. So one day i finally met stephanie,after that day she stopped messaging me on facebook and her excuses would be "im so busy with school" blah blah of course i believed her, then on snapchat id see that stephanie and Rachel would hangout at rachel's residence or go to basketball games and they never invite me. So i messaged Stephanie a "thanks for the invite guys" with a laughing emoji and stephanie said "it wasnt even planned it just happened" but even if it wasnt planned they couldve said we're hanging out you could swing by if you want. After that incident stephanie never posted on snapchat again, so i thought. I have rachel on snapchat and she shows more than stephanie, everytime rachel records stephanie, stephanie would be recording her indicating that shes making a story too. So basically what im trying to say is stephanie blocked me from seeing her stories. Then to add to that stephanie used to watch my snapchat stories all the time and then all of a sudden she stopped. So then i stopped messaging both of them online to see if they would ever message me and to this day they dont even check to see how im doing. I used to see stephanie around campus all the time and she would pretend that she wouldnt see me. I rarely see rachel but when i do she says hi because we dont see each other anyways. So what did i do wrong? Its been like 3 months since i talked to them and surprise surprise stephanie now posts everyday on snapchat (she unblocked me) and she watches my stories every now and then. Im afraid if i message her she'll reblock me. I dont know what i did wrong when i met stephanie i thought we were gonna be good friends but after that day she cut me off. Rachel and i never talked everyday like stephanie and i did thats whu rachel isnt mentioned as much in this post. One thing about my personality is that most people say im awkward (i have social anxiety) but i wasnt anxious or anything i was talking to her as i would my old friends. We' re all 18 years old. Do you think i should just leave them alone and find new friends ( which has been hard tbh) i might as well because rachel and stephanie are now best friends or whatever and im still at the small talk stage with them.

I do not think you did anything wrong dear. I know it is disconcerting to have this happen to you. I can only say that from experience, and I'll share two, that there is some invisible something that people pick up on when they are together in person. On line, we can like how a person thinks and communicates and even pick up on things like their type of humor, etc. But it can sometimes be another story once you meet face to face. My first example is of HS. I was a SR. My sister was a soph and her friend was a jr. so inbetween our ages. I only knew the gal as the one white gal who danced in a black dance team at many school assemblies. Never met her and she'd never been to our house except this one time. She'd only heard about me through my sister. So I discovered her in the backyard with my sister and I greeted her. I didn't stay and went off to my room. After the gal left, my sister came and told me that her friend said she Hated me. Mind you this wasn't an 'I don't like you" but I hate you deal. I had never done anything to her. First time meeting in person and she did not like me at all. I knew I hadn't done anything to deserve that comment so I shrugged it off and never thought about it twice..
NOw I skip ahead to being close to age 50, divorced and on a dating site. I screened guys closely on line. Only met at coffeehouses or restaurant with those who seemed real promising. From what we'd discussed on line, I really liked this guy I'll call Alan. He liked me too. Then we met at the restaurant and even before we were seated, both of us knew from whatever it is we picked up on, maybe a persons personal energy field, vibes. ??? that we were not even a close match to being really happy with each other. We were both searching for someone we could fall in love with and had many things in common. The things in common were there but as we were waiting for our meals and talking, at one point I just braved it and said what I was feeling. "This isn't going to work for us, is it?" were my words. He nodded and said, even though you are a nice person, you're right, I'm just not feeling it, not feeling that kind of connection we need to even be friends or more." We enjoyed our visit but did not meet again. One example was a teen with wild emotional state and one was a person who was very mature and nice but just didn't feel what was needed to have that 'crucial connection' that two people need to become friends, best friends, or dating or married partner. Don't worry about them, and just be glad they have each other. Now its time for you to find someone else since you can skip the internet and go for meeting people in person. If you are looking for this feeling of connecting with another person, whether male or female, you will know it when you feel it. Don't be too desperate in finding a friend cus if that's what you carry with you then people may sense that desperation just as people sense a connection, and may shy away from you. Good luck in finding a couple of good and true friends.

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I am trying to fill out my first job application and I messed up on the first one so I printed another one off the computer and the computer automatically highlighted the first page . Does it it look professional for the application to be high lighted? I am also having trouble understanding some of the questions on the application.

.Are you an alien authorized to work in the United States. Could someone explain to me what this means? I also have no work history so on the work history section I am stumped. On current or last employer do you put your supervisor's name or the company's name ? Remember all I have is volunteer woork. Thank you so much for your help.

If they gave you a photocopied job app as I have recieved depending on where I've gone, then I wouldn't worry about it. I have sometimes put first name where last name goes and when I make an error, I don't erase but put arrows pointing to where the answer belongs that I wrote. It isn't the best impression but if a company just hands out an app form they purchased at some office supply place, they are not as concerned with how pretty it looks but more the information that you put on it.

Alien refers to a person born in another country who is now living in the US and have gone through the channels of acquiring a work visa, and visa to be living here. A person who has snuck into the country somehow and has no id, no citizenship here, no work visa's, would not be eligible to work in the US. So if you were born here, the answer is N/A which stands for 'NOt Applicable' meaning it doesn't apply to you. If you say NO, it would mean you are admitting to being an alien and not being able to work in the US and if you say Yes, then you are again saying you are an alien but you have valid paperwork authorizing you to work here. And at a job interview, they would want to see this paperwork.

As for this being your first time seeking work and no previous work experience, employers understand that with teens or college age people. when you are 'employed' have an employer or had one, it means you had a job where you earned an income.
If you have a few different volunteer work done, I'd cross out current last employer and put Volunteer work. then fill in the blanks with when you started and stopped, name of organization, any boss or supervisor or manager name with address and phone number. Theres a spot for what basic duties you had at a job, so volunteer or not, there are job duties, so put what it is in there, like if you answered phones, helped with packaging, stocking shelves, did filing or some other kind of paper work. All this is previous experience. They want mostly someone who is dependable and will follow their rules. This means you always show up for your shift and if you can't, you at least have the decency to call and say you are sick or as is one case for me, the one vehicle we have, we share and it was dead, having to be towed to repair shop. I have worked places where teens or college age people did not show up on time, did half-hearted work or did not call in so boss knew they'd be short that day. If this app wants any characte references, it means people who have known you at least 10 years and are not family, and can tell a prospective employer when they call, that you are a great mature person, friendly, whatever else the interviewer wants to know. this is harder because other than family theres just your friends. So try to think of any adults who know you for a couple years if not 10, like your church pastor, a teacher at school, the next door neighbor who has interacted with you some and has had contact with you, either sharing friendly conversation, has observed you walking the dog, doing yard work. These are things kids don't like to do, teens neither, I have 3 kids who were like that then. It shows you don't shirk chores or responsibilities. Its even better if you have an elderly neighbor you have helped out on occasion with small tasks, or just gone over to check on. It shows you care. The easiest places to get into for a first job are fast food places. Its not hard, they know there's no previous experience and typically most their employees are teens in HS or just out of HS or college age. Other retail type stores, like even a Walmart may pick up younger people. I had one daughter start at fast food and when he sold the place, she found work at the Asian version of a dollar store where we live. Another daughter did coffee barista work, changing to cashier at a grocery and later Walmart work.
Good luck dear and don't worry, the very fact that you have done volunteer work for no pay means a lot.

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