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I don't get it??
he comes online on WhatsApp, clearly he sees my messages but takes forever to reply? why???? its making me so annoyed , I get this feeling he is talking to someone else
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I hate it when this happens. You drive yourself crazy thinking
he could be doing any number of things.
maybe his has several apps open and has not noticed.
maybe he has read it and does not have time to write a response at this second.
maybe he is spell checking his response.
maybe he is at school or work can reply now.
maybe someone else has his phone and opened the app.
maybe the app opened in his pocket or when he droped his phone.
maybe he is in the bathroom and is busy.
maybe he read the message but then the microwave beeped and he is trying to get out his food.
pick one, it could be anything.
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Whether the guy is considered just a friend or a love interest, perhaps he doesn't answer right away with anyone who tries contacting him, choosing to stay on whatever task on hand, or perhaps he is viewing who is contacting him and choosing certain people to answer over others. If no other overtures of friendship or a flirting romantic nature ever come from this person, then interest may be more one sided, you interested and him, not so much. If you are supposedly dating then a guy who is willing to do so has some interest in you, so thats a good sign. The way he responds to your messages, he may believe are reasonable. How a person responds or whether they choose to at all is entirely personal choice.
I can understand feeling annoyed but with so little information provided and based only on what you said and not knowing who "He" is in relation to you, its hard to tell. So I also can not know if this is a sign he is talking to others (meaning competition) Our feelings and emotions are produced in large part from our thought life. Positive thoughts produce positive emotions, negative thinking produces negative emotions such as hate, fear, annoyance. No one by their behavior can "make you" or "Force you" to take on a negative feeling by their actions. It is how we think about something that causes the type of emotions we feel. While you have a right to want someone to answer promptly, other people also have a right to not have to answer exactly the way you want them too. This would sound like a stalemate, so what can be done here? Again, not knowing who "He" is, just in case this is a husband or long term mate of about 7 yrs plus, in such a situation, its best to go for couple counseling if you both still love each other but have grievances. For any other, people just interested or dating, the commitment level to working things out isn't there usually for counseling.
And since dating is what I say is a tool for singles to learn what they do and don't like in a person, here's the perfect opportunity for you. If its just once grievance, use proper verbal forms to talk about it. First do not accuse him of talking to someone else, or being lazy in answering etc. as such accusations will immediately make a person shut down and not listen to another word you have to say. Own your feelings and let him know what you consider the issue to be such as "Not answering your messages.' And let him know what you were hoping to expect as far as how soon or how often he responds. And be sure to ask him what is happening in his life that might prevent him from answering. Guys don't like to tell the truth if they feel the girl is extra touchy and emotional and could cry or get angry with the truth. So if you want the truth, you have to behave stable minded and reassuring to get him to possibly tell you the truth. If the truth is that he is not interested, no matter how it hurts, wouldn't you want to know the truth so you can move on to focus on someone else? I had to tell a guy once to be a bit more timely, an online friend who might write 2 messages and then I wouldn't hear for 6-10 months. His job involves travel but he has down time and pc with him. When I asked for hearing from him once or twice a month, he never responded and didn't write ever again. So I had my answer, that he wasn't all that interested in me as a friend, has time management issues or is so busy he has no time to get online. No matter what his reason, it didn't matter to me or bother me. I simply required a friend to check in a bit more often and since he didn't, we were a mismatch as friends at the current time. If his situation changes in the future, he is welcome to contact me again and be somewhat timely.
So if at any point, what you believe to be reasonable differs too greatly from the other person, there will be issues in friendship or more. The same goes for differing moral views, manners, beliefs including spiritual, etc. if differing too greatly, for most, we find that tho opposites may attract, the attraction doesn't last long as it is quite wearing on a relationship when the two have so many differences of opinions that they can never see eye to eye and have constant fodder for fights. So if there are a few things that you are too annoyed with, then perhaps he just isn't mature enough or the wrong person for you. If you find that you have this issue quite often with others, then you may have to rethink what the issue really is. Could it be that others are learning how to not be so attached to their cell vs those who answer each text or message immediately or within hours. Which group do you fall into? If its that important to you, then choose friends by how quickly or how often they respond to messages.
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Hiya! Doctor D. here! I'd like to help. But can you give a bit more information? Like is this your boyfriend? A crush? Have you known each other for a while?
I'm always ready to help. But I need a bit more information. Go ahead and message me if you do want more or rather better advice from me.
-Dr.D
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