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He's being more touchy?
As i've noticed recently, my friend has become more touchy during the conversation but not in a gross way or pervert way but more like a patting on my shoulder or like when someone comforts the other person either they touch their arms or pat on their shoulder gently, that sort of touch. I ain't got a clue but he's a lovely lad and we laugh and joke a lot. He says he will miss me when I'm away on a summer holiday, 'i said, yeah you will, you'll miss me big time, he smiled and said, no, we will stay in contact ok, I said, alright then. He's curious as well, asks me questions not a lot but he does about how I am and if I'm going on a holiday with my bf and I replied no, he's not, this time. He always offers me a drink or sandwich if he's having one, sometimes KFC. I'm just trying to understand why is he being so nice as We're only friends?! Or am I being a fool? I do admit I fancy him. Thanks a bunch you all.
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From my perspective I don't really notice anything odd in his behaviour. Looking at my own friendships as well as many other friendships many start off with friends having a boundary around them but over time this boundary becomes thinner. I am very close to my friends and we are always hugging, holding hands and such things and many times we get mistaken for being together. I hate eating alone especially if anyone else is with me so I always ask them if they would like something too - this is not just down to not wanting to eat alone though but also just good manners. It could be that your friend is the same in terms of this?
I have always seen this kind of behaviour you've described as being a part of what friendships are, you ask how they are, what things are going on in their life, compliment them etc. I don't really see anything here that is out the ordinary but IF it is (this is a guy that you know better than me so perhaps he may have developed feelings for you that go beyond just friendship) then you'd need to ask yourself what you want to do about them. You have already said you have a bf so if your friend was to say he likes you as more than a friend are you prepared to end things with your current bf to give him a chance? Are you and he prepared to turn a friendship into something more and then deal with the fallout if it doesn't work out? You said that you do fancy him and this might well be true but fancying someone is a one thing but terminating your current relationship with your bf for them is another. You didn't really say how long you've both known each other or been friends for but you could always just ask him about his behavioural changes and just mention something like how you have noticed small changes in him and see where it leads to from there - he may even tell you if there is something more to it or not.
It all really depends on you and what it is you want. Ask yourself if it turns out that he fancies you and wants something more than a friendship together is that also what you want? If it is then just ask him about his behaviour if if he tells you want you want to hear the ball is in your court on what to do next. If the answer however is that although it is a nice idea that he may feel something more but you are not prepared to end things with your bf over it then there's no real point it pushing him to reveal how he feels because it would really not achieve anything. You will know how he feels but he will hope that you feel the same and expect some kind of a response from you where you'd then have to either disappoint him in some way or another or disappoint your bf.
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Did it occur to you that there's a chance he is only settling for just friends now because the other position is taken? Meaning you have a bf? Unless the guy is one like me who naturally 'talks' with their hands and will often use to touch other people in emphasis on whats said, then he is likely trying to drop hints that if you were single he would be interested. He may not have had feelings before but during the times of seeing you, a spark caught and began to grow. Well, that is a possibility. Maybe he is picking up on the fact that you fancy him, which is all the invite a guy needs to know he just might still have a chance with you. You mention a bf only in fact that he asked about him. You didn't say if you still like your bf or not. The main reason for dating should be to determine if the person being dated is exactly what you like in a relationship, or if you discover things about him harmful to a relationship, you drop him. The ultimmate goal is finding someone who can be your life time partner either long term or in marriage. If you are not that serious, then if dating only to have a bf who is just a social partner, for going to dinner, movies, hanging out with, romance and sex, then there is no reason to stay with the current one if you can not see him as a future husband and dad. The new guy is only going to leave what he thinks are hints. If he's single but knows you are not, he is never going to confess his feelings or ask you out, so as not to make trouble with your current relationship. So are you truly happy with current one? It would help you to have a list of qualities you are looking for in a man so you screen all guys against that list. The best one gets to be your bf if he is just as interested in you. You may be afraid to let the other bf go and alter find out this friend does not have those kinds of feelings for you. However from what you wrote, he's only recently changed and become more touching with you. If the vibes you were picking up from him still felt like just friends, then you would not have written. I believe your woman's intuition has felt something in the vibes and energy field around him that has changed. And yes, feelings of like or love can change. It doesn' t have to be a big flame of love that is felt instantly from the start or close to it. Attraction and love can develop over time and slowly grow like glowing coal and sparks to a burning fire. And this kind of love in the long run is as strong as the instant one.
If you decide you just have to ask him if the touches mean anything, you could try something like: Hey, I've noticed that of lately, as my friend you have changed a bit, touching me more in conversation. It makes me wonder if your feelings for me are changing. So am I reading this wrong or is something changing here? I know I have a bf but I do ALSO fancy you as a person. So I am just wondering what you can tell me."
He could be scared and decide not to share his true feelings if they exist. Or he may assure you that he still only cares about you as a friend and if his touches are bothering you, he will stop at once. You never know what a response will be.
But don't fall into trap of just accepting something he says if it is unclear, leaves you with even more questions, or totally confused. Too many women do this, not asking and probing further, then find it bugging them so much they write me to ask what the guy meant. I can only guess. If this happens, you'd have to ask him to make his response more plain for you cus you do not understand what he meant. You can also feed back what you think he meant in different words asking if that is what he meant. He can either choose to be truthful or lie. And you will have to base any of your decisions if any at all, based on what he says whether true or not.
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