|
why is he acting so different with me?
Long story short, I met this guy not long ago well we were speaking everyday all day for around 4 months now and we finally met up, he seemed interested in me etc till the day we finally saw each other, but even then he still looked interested in me. Since Saturday he has been replying super late to my msgs, taking 2-6 hours to reply he wasn't like this I will come online on WhatsApp and I see him online but he doesn't even bother to open my msg , but he still replies the same way as before only this time he takes longer, why? all of a sudden after meeting me he changed the way he was towards texting, the time he takes messaging me back is doing my head in, did he lose interest? bare in mind we kissed on that day like he treated me really well.. its been different since Saturday? I feel like he's talking to another girl, I get this gut feeling??? why change all of a sudden?
its weird to give me late replies but still speak the same with me?? can someone please help me, I'm reading way too into these texts, I got so used to the routine of speaking to him constantly and since we saw eachother thats changed...??? did I do something ???? like his texts are still the same as before but he takes longer..
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This sounds much like an earlier question I answered. So if you're the same person, you have better info here so I can give a better answer.
There is such a thing as attraction. There is physical attraction, personality attraction and also just as important, a chemical attraction. the First is easy, we see something we really like so when we meet on line, its easy to be visually attracted. Personality is something that comes out in how a person talks about themselves, their world, etc. You discover their hobbies, moral character, type of humor, etc. You can be drawn to alot of this on line but there is just as much too easily kept hidden on purpose or just stuff you can't experience on line. The worst yet is whether two people have physical chemistry, its more about something unseen but felt, called pheromones. The closer a match to each other the pheromones are, the more chemistry you will have. I known others have called attraction to and having similar personalities as having chemistry. I have experienced the personality chemistry without feeling the pheromone (chemistry). Before I met my second husband, I was dating online but met in person as soon as someone promising wrote to me. One guy I really liked alot but at the end in the parking lot before getting in my car, he asked if we could kiss and I figured it would be good cus I liked his personality. Unfortunately, the kiss felt so unromantic, like a romantic kiss from a brother or Dad, the idea of which just made me shudder with a feeling of grossness.
You say the day you met in person, he still looked interested. Well yes, I am sure you're a very beautiful girl. But even if he like how you looked, even if he seemed to like your personality , at the same time he was not picking up a good match of these invisible vibes or energy from pheromones. This is a subconscious thing in humans. We don't know why all of a sudden we are turned off by someone we were interested in until we met. So he may not by aware why how he felt changed when you met. Most people do not know or understand this. So don't feel bad if you or even he didn't know. This does not mean you are not a desirable female. The reason this guy is not saying anything and coming clean is because he is afraid of any emotional reaction and guys just freak out when a female cries and get scared when she gets angry. He is trying to show you less and less attention by answering later and doesn't have the same enthusiasm because he is not interested. A male who is genuinely interested in a female will at least call her if he is over busy and has no time for her but if shes greatest he's ever met, he won't want to take a chance of losing her interest over a misunderstanding or his problem schedule and such a guy would be calling to let you know if he can't meet in person but loved the fisrt meet up with you. Most people that i know of have called the person they met on the following day to let them know how much they enjoyed meeting them and then try to get something on the calendar.
Not only did he not call you the day after but he's not eager to call you and postpones it because he isn't as interested as he was before you both met. Unless he has a dying Grandma he's close to who could pass at any moment or some such event that is turning his life into turmoil, there isn't anything that would keep a man who is really into a gal he just met, from contacting her and make sure she doesn't get whisked away by some other guy. So here's how to find out if he really does still like you, (although its not enough for my liking)
you give him a call and state,
"My female intuition is telling me that something has changed between us since the moment we met in person. You seem more distant or disinterested. It is fine if that is the case. I just need to know if you have lost interest because you didn't feel a chemistry with me. If not, please tell me the truth so I know whether to stay available for you or to move on." Of course put it in your own words but you need to reassure him that you want the truth and are willing to let him off the hook and not go after him again. If he is talking like everything is the same, and he's anywhere near your age, he likely is just too afraid and truly has no clue what to do or say.
there are guys in the world who wouldn't look twice in my direction, but also there are the guys who have similar or same pheromone connections, (older people often get better at picking this up sometimes without much interaction with the other person at first), and these males who have similar likes in appearance and pick up subconsciously on the feeling of chemistry will make an effort to talk to me, flirt, compliment. So just to reassure you that if one guy you really liked doesn't feel the same in return, its not because of anything the girl has done in almost all cases. You could try asking if anything has changed in his life, things like someone in family hospitalized, recently had a disease confirmed, Dad lost his job, any other things that would change a persons behavior. Guys are taught to not show emotion and if you are a new girl and he's not used to showing emotions in front of you, he may not want to encourage until he has somehow taken care of his emotional turmoil. Guys will do a thing called distancing themselves from a girl if there is a specific reason why he isn't free to be with you. Males distance themselves ahead of time thinking it will make it easier for you to part when the time comes. But they explain nothing and we are left to assume they have fallen out of love without knowing there is a problem. An example is him getting the only job offer in a long time but its way across the country from you and he already knows you have said in the past that your family means alot and you would never move away from them, not even for love. I hope this shows you now that it is not even confusing but an actual part of how humans work. Pheremones are real and if missing, the two won't make a couple. This also means that there will be other humans you find a pheremone attraction to in life but once you have settled and fallen in love with one person, finding yourself at times attracted to someone sexually is not an odd thing. However due to your commitment to your mate, there is no need to connect with every male there is such a connection with because it may just be the physical attraction too but not the personality one and all a person accomplishes then is a bunch of bootie calls without a real relationship, no matter that there was a pheremone connection to begin with.
]
Trust me there's no way anyone would kiss you if they didn't have interest and or love behind it. Saturday really is not that long in the grand scheme of things not to hear back from someone or as quickly as you would like. You have no idea the family commitments, school related ones, or life that he may have had this week.
The fact is he is answering you even if it takes a little longer for a reply. He's not blowing you off by any means and talks about the same stuff. Getting messages daily especially as the other advice givers have mentioned is unusual much less for 4 months.
The guy isn't The Flash and couldn't find another girl that fast. I think you need to relax, go about your business and not be obsessed with getting a message or sending them and being perceived as clingy.
The fact is you like him and arguably he likes you but you're just unsure and don't want to lose out or not be liked. You have this idea in your head that is nonsense about him not liking you after that kiss and meeting last weekend. Give him time.
If you like him discuss it with him in person and figure out where things stand. You'll likely be pleasantly surprised. The only other thing is maybe he's shy and thinking he screwed something up for all you know or aren't in to him. That could be it.
Often people are more reserved and nervous around each other before and after a date. Maybe he's not figured out what he wants either. Talk to him and get it off your mind or you'll drive yourself bonkers.
]
Talking everyday all day for 4 month is taxing. I am amazed it last for that long. There are a million and one reason why he might message you less. Yes you are looking too much into it.
maybe he has been busy with life and he is doing other things while talking to you.
maybe he is running out of thing to say, which is totally understandable after 4 months.
different people require different amount of attention. My wife would not mind spending every second with me, but I enjoy my alone time and love it when I can spend a day or two apart. I dont love her less. it just i don't have to be with her all the time.
that is just a few reason he may message you less.
I would recommend spending more time with him in person. There is a limit to how close you can get to someone via message.
If you can not spend time in person for some reason maybe play an online game together. do a google search to good co-op online games and find something you both can enjoy. You can find plenty of free online games
check out phone games like "words with friends"
do something other then just chat.
]
More Questions: |