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humorist-workshop

Self harm problem getting out of control


Question Posted Tuesday May 2 2017, 8:49 pm

I have been cutting now for a while. Before you start hate typing please finish reading. I have had a series of my mothers boyfriends be abusive to me and my siblings since our dad left when I was about five (14 now) I have been moved all over the country several times for my mothers countless lovers and cutting seems like the only thing I have control over. But now it is getting a bit out of control any ideas on how to stop would be helpful.

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solidadvice4teens answered Friday May 5 2017, 10:21 pm:
The difficult part is over. You know you have a problem and have seen that because a lot of sufferers cannot see that. It's hypnotic and consumes them. There's a lot of negative thoughts and urges that come with this. You aren't crazy but this is indeed a mental-health issue and an illness that compels you to harm yourself.

You have to start from that place. Nobody is out to harm you but rather to help you. You need to consult your doctor privately and tell him/her you have a problem with cutting yourself and it's out of control and cannot stop. He or she will refer you to a psychiatrist who can figure out how depression and other illness fuels it and how to help you put this behind you and talk about issues that would bring it on.

Everything is 100% confidential and they cannot tell anyone what you have said in appointments unless there is a situation where they believe you may kill yourself or harm will come to you.

The most important thing you can do is tell people who you trust exactly what is going on and get them to listen and be a support network to you. Guidance counsellors, adults, teachers all will support you. Continue reaching out it's very important you do. They may have additional resources that could make you well.

What you do need is a professional which is what the psychiatrist is for to help you finally work out issues you otherwise suppress about your mom, the abuse etc etc. You have never let it out and worked with someone on healing and it's behind all this crap. It's coming to the surface to be dealt with and destroyed. Get it out there. It won't be easy but the sooner you try and get rid of it the sooner cutting will be in your rear-view mirror.

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adviceman49 answered Wednesday May 3 2017, 9:37 am:
I am so sorry to hear about the abuse you and your siblings have had to put up with. There is help and it is as close as a trusted teacher at school.

Your teachers and principals when advised of children being abused at home must by law take action. Child protective services(CPS) will be notified. After interviewing you and your siblings they will decide what the best plan is to protect you at home. Mom could be ordered by the court not to have any live in boyfriends and that boyfriends not be allowed to visit after a certain hour or at all.

Question are you in contact with your dad? Does he know what is going on? It could also be that CPS might find it better you live with your dad even if the divorce agreement gives custody to your mom they can override the decree.

As for the cutting I believe at this point you are going to need professional help to stop cutting. Please include in asking a teacher or your principal for help the fact that the abuse you are suffering has led you to cut. They will see to it you get help.

The why of you cutting is easy to explain the stopping is harder. You cut because the abuse has sent you in to a clinical depression. You cut to feel something because the depression does not allow you to feel anything. The depression needs clinical help to resolve. Generally talk therapy with a psychologist.

There is one other thing you can do to get help if you do not wan to talk to a teacher. There is an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Incest, Abuse National Network. There phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE. People trained to help you answer the phone 24/7 365 days a year. The call is confidential and they can help you get the help you need to end the abuse at home and to stop cutting.

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DrD answered Tuesday May 2 2017, 9:39 pm:
Hey! Dont worry, Doctors on the case! cutting issue, aye? I can tell you one thing. your life is valuable, you shouldn't inflict harm to yourself. A friend of mine got caught cutting and now she has to therapy every three days a week, all her sharp items in her house have been confiscated, and even when doing her work, she cannot have a pencil after her working hours. trust me. Its not the way to go with your struggles.
Their are other ways to get out your inner pain, I personally like to punch punching bags. Another way is crying(i dont know if it works but it might). or enjoy a hobby you do, like drawing, singing.
I know life is difficult. But we all can get through it, we are here for each other. If you want more advice, go ahead and message me back. I'll be here to help. :-)
-Dr.D

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