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Is this bloke after something or just being naturally nice?


Question Posted Saturday April 15 2017, 9:39 pm

Does a bloke ever compliments a woman in a way like, you're very generous, how kind of you, you're beautiful, you're a good girl? Sometimes, it's bit too much, I guess. I don't give him much compliment but he does everytime we see each other. Or is he after something? I reckon I like him, at least a little. Known for a few months and we got to know each other. He's a nice man and became friends. Thank you everyone

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solidadvice4teens answered Thursday April 20 2017, 8:11 pm:
I would put my money down on him liking you. There's being courteous and friendly to people and then there is overdoing it hoping you notice it. He may think this is flirting and how it works but have zero skills if you will to know that it's a turnoff and backfiring.

Unless you talk to him and point it out that he doesn't need to do that to get a girl to notice him he will keep at it. He is harmless and genuinely likes you and just wants a date. You have to figure out how you feel one way or the other and let him know how you feel about the constant comments as clearly something is behind them. If he's got you uncomfortable he needs to know and especially people you work with if that's the enviornment. Otherwise if you don't mind and actually do like him it's a possible thing to explore.

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Dragonflymagic answered Sunday April 16 2017, 8:44 pm:
Does he punctuate all his conversations with several of these on a daily basis? Or are all the words he speaks not regular conversation but compliments only. If compliments only, he may have some sort of social disability, not able to act in a more normal manner which comes naturally to most but some don't get it. Or he may have grown up in a family that complimented often and you may not. I can't say what is too many. But most people err on the other side of not complimenting others enough. If this is the only problem you have with him, then continue to enjoy his company as a friend and see where it leads. I just thought of another thing I heard somewhere, that men like compliments too and he may be looking for some in return to use as a gauge of how interested you might be in him. A compliment that many men like is being told that you like the way they think. Other such personal compliments if you really mean them, will mean alot to the guy.

If you find you prefer not to compliment, maybe you are thinking of it too much as a phoney or misleading saying like when we all ask someone 'How are you doing?" when its just another way we say HI or Hello and are not really interested in knowing how the person is doing. Compliments can be fake and all conversation sugar coated. I think your woman's intuition will let you know if that's the case here or not. If you really want to know if he's after some goal here, then you might try to find the words to ask him but keep in mind his feelings and not wanting to upset him in case he is being nice with no ulterior motives. I usually will point possible blame on myself in such a convo. LIke for example: "You sure do compliment me alot. And I know I don't reciprocate as much. Maybe its the way I was raised or I have some preconceived idea about it than less is best. So I don't want you upset by my asking you a question. there are some things I don't know well enough about you yet to know if your compliments are genuine or if it is part of some goal you are seeking. THat may sound bad, but in todays times, a lady gets all sorts of types of men wanting to befriend or date her because of ulterior motives. So I feel I have to ask." If a guy is truly not having any bad ulterior motives, he will not be upset with your question and will agree with you that it is good that you question things for your safety and then he will answer you. If a guy is very immature, naive, lacking good dating or relationship knowledge, and takes things too personally, he could get upset, even if he did not have ulterior motives. And this is a sign to be careful as he may not turn out to be a good choice for a friend or more. Then lastly, the guys with something to hide or with motives, will become very upset, outraged. Just say sorry if in person with him and act normal but when away from him, just let him know you are not interested in him as a friend or boyfriend (what ever the case is-for future situations) because a guy who erupts in anger can just as easily become physically violent. I ended several inquiries to a meet up after guys writing to me on dating site and got angry already from my asking an innocent question, thinking I might have misunderstood what he said in last letter. Another I actually went out with for first date when i discovered he had lied to me about not being a smoker (I made certain that guys knew I was allergic to cigarette smoke) Then he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and made up some crazy excuse. I finished the date and didn't call him, next time he called I told him I didn't think we'd work out so I was letting him go. He got angry and said it was because of his smoking and called again several times leaving hateful messages with lots of swear words on my phone. So if brave enough, find a way in your own words to gently get more info out of him. Or just spend more time together as friends, You don't want to catch a potential friend or more than friend person, on only their good days but discover how they are on bad days as well. You haven't been around him long enough to build trust in each other. He may trust sooner and easier than you. Let time show you what he truly is as a person, or if you just have to know, ask nicely as I explained above.

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ammo answered Sunday April 16 2017, 2:31 pm:
What you are asking is something that only you might be able to answer as you have contact with this person and so should probably let your instincts help judge the situation. Some guys (and this is by all means not limited to just men because women are no different in this from my experience) will compliment you and be nice to you just so they can seem like a great person with the intention of wanting to get something from you. I am sure that every person has probably encountered someone who is like this. However, there are some people out there who are just nice and so say these things just because they are being nice. I do this very often and I do it for any kind of personal gain - it's nice to be nice to people. The best way to deal with something like this is to accept the compliment because he probably does mean it but also don't let your guard down completely because of the compliments and just use some measure of common sense and your gut feelings to see if he may be acting so nice to get something out of you. It might well be he likes you. Maybe he's just being friendly... there's no real way to know without actually knowing a lot more about him and what he might be like. I think the best advice I can give you is that it could go either way and the best thing you can do is just be on your toes.

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