about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

16/f
my bf (let's call him A) and i broke up a few weeks ago. i knew he had been losing interest for awhile but i didn't know it would be this bad. we were very best friends when we were together and went out for a year and a half. the breakup came out of nowhere.
the past week or so he's been a real jerk to me. he keeps bringing other girls up. i've had such a hard time dealing with this and he's not being considerate of my feelings. he used to care so much about me, about a year ago. i really did love him back then. i still do. but over the past year he's changed. things started going downhill a few months ago. i wish i had the old A back- the one that would care about me, even if it's only as a friend. he's not interested in talking or seeing me at all, i can tell. it really hurts me.
i still care about him, very much so as a friend, but he's bringing up these other girls on purpose i think. it hurts so much. i wish he would still care about me as a friend, so we could see each other and still do fun things and be best friends. i just don't see how he went from my best friend/boyfriend to nothing so quickly. he really does want nothing to do with me.
i'm trying to figure out what i'm asking of all of you. maybe just some advice on how to deal with him being a jerk and how to deal with my own life? i know i can't change his interest level in me but he's being a jerk and i'm not going to let him take advantage of my feelings like that.
thanks.

Stay away from him, because it isn't worth it to let him hurt you. Yes, you shouldn't be jealous about any girls he dates [if you even are], but he shouldn't be rubbing his new girls in your face. You're exes for a reason.

Next time he confronts you, tell him you are not going to talk to him until he does a little maturing. But maybe before that you could ask that he not shove his girls in your face, because it's just really rude. If he acts all macho and says "I'll do what I want!", then resort to what I said in the first sentence of this paragraph.

Mainly, just stay away from him until he grows up a little. It isn't worth your time. There are plenty of guys out there who aren't like him.

--Jack
(16/m)

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how come some schools wont let the girls wear makeup?

Some schools take the stance that you're there to learn, not to show off your beauty. While that is oppressive at times, it can also mean a lot of distraction is taken away.

If you feel strongly about it, you can always take it up with your district's school board ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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What do you say when parent's ask you a question you don't know the answer to cuz they hate when you say i don't know.

Just say that you are not really sure of the answer to their question.

Or say something like "I'm sorry dad/mom, I am unsure how to answer that question. I'll get back to you."

Don't be snotty about it, though ;]

Just be honest with your parents, and I'm sure they'll understand =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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i am 17 years old and i am a women. i have a crush on one of my friends and i look at him all the time in our second hour. he is a real ladies man. i am not that pretty. he was going to come over my house today. but he cant come over on becuase he is on the wreslting team and they have states today and tomorrow. i dont know if i should have sex with him or not and just wait till marragie like i planned. so what should i do

The fact that you're questioning losing your virginity by asking this question tells me that you should wait.

You have a plan to wait until marriage- and for that I applaud you! There are so many people out there who do not have the morals you have. Congratulations!

Obviously I think you should keep that promise to yourself. You can still hang out with him and maybe date him, but that doesn't mean you have to lose your virginity like everyone else your age has decided to do.

--Jack
(16/m)

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me and my boyfriend usually tlak alll the time
he lives in a different state then me
and yesterday morning we talked before he went to his skate competition and he told me he would call me around 5. and he never did..
so i waited the wholeee day to talk to him
and ussually he calls me even if hes with his friends just to tell me he loves me and stuff
and that didnt happen either. and im pretty sure he went out after his skate thing with his friends cause on saturdays they have a guys night and stuff. so i dont really care about that
but i just miss him. and im pretty sure he stayed at one of his friends houses. i messaged him yesterday and he read it today when he got on adn he didnt even bother to message me back and i havent talked to him since yesterday at around 1 in the afternoon. i cant call or text him cause his phone is broke. and i miss him like crazzzzy
:[ he normally would of called me by now thats why im all sad and stuff because last time we broke up he ignored me and then decided to call me at 3 in the morning and break up with me. i dont think hes ignorning me but i just dont get why he hasnt decided to atleast say something to me by now. im the type of person who gets sad over this stuff cuase im lame haha. but yeah. we talk pretty much talk everynight before we go to sleep and if he doesnt talk to me by then im gonna be reallllly sad :[ and im always the type of person that cant sleep when it comes to this stuff.
i dont know what to doooo :[ help!

I don't know that anywhere in your explanation you said that YOU tried calling HIM. Yes, you messaged him, but that's not calling.

If I missed that, I'm sorry, but I suggest calling him. Even if he's always the one to call you, call him and maybe ask him why he hasn't been keeping in contact with you. I'm sure there's a reason. Hear him out, and don't yell at him ;].

You have to remember that he lives in a different state, and that makes it tough. I think you're pretty lucky that you talk most days. Some long-distance relationships only talk to each other once a week ;]


Just stay calm, I'm sure there's a reason he hasn't called you.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Male, 25

My girlfriend keeps trying to push me into sexual things I'm not comfortable with. When I say no, she asks what kind of guy I am and such.

How do I get her to respect my decisions and not end up fighting as a result about it?

It's all pretty much been said, but I just thought I would reiterate.

If YOU do not feel comfortable doing something, don't let ANYONE tell you that you have to do it. You are an individual and you can make your own choices.

Next time she asks, tell her no firmly, and then if she gets upset, I say maybe she isn't the right person for you.

I know of so many girls that would KILL to have someone like you who isn't just about the physical part of a relationship. And to you, man, I say bravo! You're sticking to your morals and that is such an honorable thing =].

Tell her that she should respect what you want in that sense, and if she can't- you'll leave her. If you mean anything to her, she'll apologize and stop asking.

--Jack
(16/m)

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how do you do that? and is there anyway you can make it that when you call people that your name does not show up on caller id

If you want to change your cellphone number- contact your carrier. I have no idea how to do that and I'm not sure if it's possible unless you completely change your plan.

However, to make your phone number/name not come up on caller ID, use *67 before the number you're dialing.

Please don't use this to play a prank on someone- that's not nice ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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Since lying in the sun makes your skin darker, will lying in the path of the moon make your skin lighter? Are there any other ways to get your skin really white? I want to look really pale. (Please nobody say "why do you want to be pale" or "ask micheal jackson" as i have seen those responses and they are not helpful or funny) Anyway, thanks!

I've never heard that theory, actually, but it doesn't sound very true.

I guess just stay out of the sun, and apply sunscreen every few hours, that is, sunscreen with a high SPF for both the UVA and UVB spectrum.

Other than that, try this search:

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(16/m)

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i have been fingered five times and my friends call me a slut but it feels good,so like leave me alonee. And now this guy wants me to have sex, should i? i am only 14. And i dont want my friends to start calling me a hoe! thats MEAN! but i kinda want 2!

from,
FFG [ fingering feels good ]

The fact that you're asking this question tells me you aren't ready to have sex. You're having doubts, and when it comes to deciding something like this, having doubts means you shouldn't do it.

Wait a few more years, or heck, wait until you've found someone you'll be with the rest of your life.

--Jack
(16/m)

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since drinkging red bull makes your heart race really fast...would that be counted as excercising?

Red bull may speed up your heart rate, but that certainly is NOT exercise.

Exercise is when you do a physical activity that makes your heart rate increase. It's something that is good for you. The only physical thing about drinking red bull is lifting up your hand to pour it in your mouth- and that's not exercise.

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

In my old school i liked a teacher.Is that normal?

Perfectly normal. We all go through that and it isn't anything to be ashamed of.

What can make it NOT normal is if you were to pursue a relationship with this teacher. But I'm sure you wouldn't do that ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

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Do you know guys know about that one test that you take and it tells you what you can be when gorw up? Can I take one online and is it accurate?

Thanks in advance.

http://www.careerexplorer.net/aptitude.asp


Here's a career aptitude test, which is what you're talking about. Most are very accurate, but don't let the results constrict you to a career. They are meant more to guide you, but I know it can feel as if that's what you HAVE to be.

If none of the results come up to be what you want, then maybe take it again and try answering the questions differently, or find another one online ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

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Ok long story short me and my friend fooled around (we didn't have sex, though) and I have no idea how to talk to him now.

I've been avoiding him ever since and I have no idea what to say to him.

Help?

Next time you see him, just be honest with him. If you're feeling awkward, let him know you may need some space for awhile to try to get back to normal. Ask him if he feels awkward about it. If he does, give him some space.

Talk about what happened, and what you both want to do about it. Do you want to continue? If you do, please be safe about it. Do you want to stop? Then do so. Do you need space? Then give each other space.

Communication is really key in this situation. Whether you want to communicate now or next week or next month, maybe just let him know that he'll know when you're ready to talk about this all, because you obviously can't avoid talking about it eventually unless you move away or something ;]..

--Jack
(16/m)

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14/f

I'm going to use fake names: the first person is Andrew and the other is Nick.

I started taking classes at my high school early, and, naturally, I got to meet new people and started to hang out with them. Well, Andrew one of the guys that I talk to, and he points out little stuff about me, but not in a bad way (ex. my hair, my shoes, whether I'm talking a lot or not, etc.). I started to hang out with the girls a little more during our breaks, and he always manages to find where we sit, but break is pretty much over by then. Andrew keeps staring at me in class too. Does Andrew like me? Or is he just being nice to me?

Thanks for any of the helpful advice! Answer soon!

Here are signs that a guy likes you:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340


From there:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!





And aside from those- I think he likes you ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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Does anyone know of new artists.. like photographers, or just like "art" in general, images.. thanks

Or just any artist in general you really like their work. (I'm not looking for music)

http://wdiv.cityvoter.com/toole-art/biz/92223

This is someone who lives near me- or at least in my area. I'm not really sure if it's just the girl or if it's her and her bother. But it's pretty good photography ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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OK so yesterday i went on a date with blind date. It was really nice...we were supposed to go this party. but didn't know what time is was gonna start. well it was like 7...and the party until 9:30 so we parked near his friend house and waited for him to get home(until 10!) the hole time we were just talking about everything. As if we known each other for ever. Like around 9:45 he asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend. I couldn't believe it i asked him like 20x if he was 4 real. well i said yes cause i felt really good with him...his friend got home and went inside to take a shower wile we were in his car making out! I feel kinda weird sine i never had a real boyfriend i told him to call me today...but he hasn't. so i don't know if he was being 4 real or not. am i his girl friend or did he just want to get me in the back seat. but its not like he got any...we just made out...idk help

I don't think he was being fake about it. I mean he talked to you about "everything", as you claim, and most guys who are just using a girl usually don't talk that much, you know?

There could be many reasons he hasn't called you back. Sure, he could have forgotten, but maybe his phone is dead, or he was really busy today, or he just couldn't call you. I'm sure he'll call as soon as he can.

If he doesn't call tomorrow, maybe try calling him and setting up another date ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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I went out on a first date with this guy. He is really nice and everything, but I'm not really looking for a relationship. During the date, he asked what I'm looking for and I explicitly said "nothing serious".

He has called me every day since the date (which was 4 days ago) and has even invited me to spend the night.

He's a nice guy and I wouldn't mind spending time with him, but I don't want a relationship with him and I don't want him calling all the time!

What do I do? I hate being mean to people.

I don't suggest you lie to him, as others have advised.

What I do suggest is that you communicate with him about what you want. He won't be able to know what you want unless you tell him.

Next time he calls, be polite and answer the call. Let him know that you aren't looking for anything serious, as of right now.

And also, let him know you would rather he doesn't call as much [please try not to be rude xD]. Let him also know that if you want to spend time with him, you'll let him know.

Communication is always key ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

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Guys, what are things you hate that girl's do? Like if they're annnoying and if they check your cell phone a bunch or something. I just want to know all the things guys hate about girls. Like yeah, if that makes sense? Even girls can tell me! Like any things you know guy's don't like. THANKS :D

I don't like when girls can't carry a conversation with me.

I don't like when girls care more about their cell phone than me.

I don't like when girls talk lyk3 th!s lolz.

I don't like when girls are fake.

I don't like when girls blame their stupidity on their hair color.

I don't like when girls don't have morals, values, or the like.

I don't like when girls can't be themselves around me.

Does that help?

--Jack
(16/m)

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Well I've been dating this guy for 2 months now. We have had sex 5 times.. but the thing is I am sexually active and he's not. Often times when I'm in the mood he's not in the mood. I can't help but think that I might not be sexually attractive or something...and I tried to exsplain to him that it bothers me and he seems to get upset and says that he's not like other guys and just doesn't enjoy sex that much.


What should I do?

Believe him. Some guys aren't like all the others and they don't just want sex. In fact, maybe he's trying to tell you that he wants to focus more on the romantic part of your relationship- which I'm sure most girls would want if given the opportunity. ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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15/f
ok well does it?i have morals and plan on saving myself until im married :D. i have had guys flirt with me and then see the ring on my finger and will be like oh? so do purity rings turn guys off?

To the guys that REALLY matter, it doesn't turn them off. To the guys that only want you for sexual reasons, yes it is a turn off.

Personally, that would be a big turn-on. I love girls who are planning on saving themselves for marriage. That shows me they have morals and are at least attempting to be pure, unlike the sluts you see walking around at school =O.

Whether or not a guy is turned off by it- you'll know he is a keeper if he doesn't let it bother him. =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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