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What's wrong here?
Male, 25
My girlfriend keeps trying to push me into sexual things I'm not comfortable with. When I say no, she asks what kind of guy I am and such.
How do I get her to respect my decisions and not end up fighting as a result about it?
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Honestly (and no offense should be taken here).....If she's trying to get you to do things like that and you TELL her you're uncomfortable and she gets mad at that then she's not right for you. If someones trying to make you do things and you dont want to do them and that happens, they're being really immature and you need to address it.
Tell her that she's acting out way too far, and that if the relationships going to work out, then she needs to stop pressuring you into stuff. The whole thing that makes a relationship work is working together and being completely comfortable around one another. It's also about trusting eachother and respecting one anothers opinions and comfort zones.
I know i would NEVER make my boyfriend do anything like that if he was uncomfortable, andif he was i would like him to tell me so I can fix it.
She honestly doesn't sound right for you.
I really hope i helped. If i didn't im sorry. and I'm also sorry in advance if any of that offended you. That's just my opinion: )
Hope everything works out: )
-Maddie
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You sound like someone who has his own mind. Other than the sexual differences, do the two of the get along, enjoy each other and have fun together. If not, then sexual incompatability may be the least of your concerns. Mutual respect and friendship need to be in place before sex enters the picture. Somewhere along the line this young woman decided it is okay to insult you to get what she wants. Does she do this much to manipulate situations? The only way she will respect your choices and you is if you stand your ground. If you are not enough for her as you are, and she is unwilling to let it go without fighting, then the two of you should separate.
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It's all pretty much been said, but I just thought I would reiterate.
If YOU do not feel comfortable doing something, don't let ANYONE tell you that you have to do it. You are an individual and you can make your own choices.
Next time she asks, tell her no firmly, and then if she gets upset, I say maybe she isn't the right person for you.
I know of so many girls that would KILL to have someone like you who isn't just about the physical part of a relationship. And to you, man, I say bravo! You're sticking to your morals and that is such an honorable thing =].
Tell her that she should respect what you want in that sense, and if she can't- you'll leave her. If you mean anything to her, she'll apologize and stop asking.
--Jack
(16/m)
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I agree with the other columnists. It is very disrespectful of her to ask you what kind of guy you are. Some girls are controlling and resort to wining and fighting to get their way- it seems she is being the same. I see her comments as insulting, and I can see why you feel offended.
Does she fight over other things as well, or just about this? If you see a pattern in her behavior, then you will need to ask yourself if a relationship with her is worthwhile. You have to be firm with her, and let her know exactly how you feel. What you want is for her to respect your decisions- that is exactly how you have to explain it to her. You shouldn't delve into anything, just say something like, you need her to respect your personal decisions. She might start to yell and get angry- which is a sign of her insecurity and disrespect. What you do is up to you, but first you have to set things straight with her. If she cannot accept you for who you are, then a relationship with her (should be) unacceptable.
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DEAR male
the answer to your question is simple your girlfreind is eather a sex maniach or she feels she needs to be in control at all times and in some relationships thats just how it is the male
lost his place as the dominant one in the kingdom.
and now it's the womans turn but they can take it a bit to far and also it depends on old this woman is or is she a young lady?
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I agree with Young Grandma.
I'm disturbed by the fact that she gives you a hard time when you say you don't want to do something. That doesn't sound like a healthy, loving response. Try talking to her about it... Be honest and tell her how she really makes you feel. And if she can't respect your feelings... I'm sorry to say that it's time to kick her to the curb and find someone that will respect you.
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Have you tried turning it around on her?
Asked her What kind of girl is she?
I hate to say it but if she doesn't
respect you and what you feel and
believe, she may be the wrong gal
for you.
Sit her down and discuss how you
feel about things. If after that
she continues to try and push,
you might want to re-evaluate the
relationship.
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hey there okay i think what you should do is sit her down and explain whats wrong but if she wont listen then what you hav to do is sit down and wonder is she really worth it if she cant respect your boundaries??
good luk and i hope it all works out!!
dxxxxxxxx
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