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When a Guy doesn't like sex....
Well I've been dating this guy for 2 months now. We have had sex 5 times.. but the thing is I am sexually active and he's not. Often times when I'm in the mood he's not in the mood. I can't help but think that I might not be sexually attractive or something...and I tried to exsplain to him that it bothers me and he seems to get upset and says that he's not like other guys and just doesn't enjoy sex that much.
What should I do?
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Whoa, whoa, whoa... That right there... Is. A. Big. Red. Flag.
Let's talk about the male sex drive for a minute... I'm sure sex drives vary for men just as they very for women. And I know that sometimes... Guys just don't want to. Could be that they're stressed out, could be that they're in pain... And that's normal and okay. But it's not okay when you've only been dating for a short period time and you're all ready having problems in the bedroom.
I can't even guess at the reason... But I know that you shouldn't feel like it's your fault. Whoever you are, whatever you look like... I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there that do want to have sex with you... And as often as possible.
Run, run, run to the nearest bookstore and buy 'He's Just Not That Into You,' by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo. Read chapter four, 'He's just not that into you if he's not having sex you with you.' Hate to be the bearer of bad news... But it sounds like this guy is a curb-dweller. And when I say curb-dweller, I mean that he ought to be dwelling on the curb because you put (i.e. kicked) him there.
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I think he does enjoy sex, like the other guys he mentioned. I feel you should try turn him on, push his buttons and watch him get all crazy. He probably hasb't felt that way ever, so maybe if you do that, it'll get him in the mood. Do things that turn him on, whether it is a lap-dance, stripping... anything that will get him!
Ask Venzuela
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Sounds like to me, he doesnt WANT sex in a relationship- he probably just had sex becuase you wanted it.. guys tend to believe "they have to " have sex when offered due to the "image" of men & sex, with the desire and need for it.
talk to him about it.
seriously.
goodluck!
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Believe him. Some guys aren't like all the others and they don't just want sex. In fact, maybe he's trying to tell you that he wants to focus more on the romantic part of your relationship- which I'm sure most girls would want if given the opportunity. ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
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