about

Many of my friends say that I am a good listener and advice giver. Because I have experienced many good and bad situations, I know what it is like to feel down or confused. I am a mother, daughter, sister, girl friend, and friend. And if I can't figure out how to answer a question, I'm sure I know someone who can. And I've come to notice that most of the questions people ask they already know the answer to, they just need a little reassurance. But I will warn you that my policy is, if you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. But i will say that it is my joy to help anyone with a real problem, so ask away!




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advice

I have lost so many important and special people in my life that now I don't know who to trust anymore. I am getting really close to someone (everyone I get close to is an adult) and I am afraid of getting hurt by her like everyone else I get close to. I have told her this and she says that shes not like the other people, but how do I know. This is a person that I wish were my mother because she is just so incredible and my mom doesnt care about me. What do I do?

I know it can be hard to trust especially when people are always letting you down but sometimes you just have to let the past go. Not having a motherly figure really sucks, so if you look to this woman as a mom and she has never let you down then give her a chance. Don't go losing trust in her if she hasn't even hurt you.

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okay I know this is random, but like I have really weird hair thats in between being curly or straight (but it doesnt look good lol) and I was wondering does anyone know anything that will make your hair straight or curly w/o too much use of a straightener or a curling iron? Thanks soo much! (Please dont delete!)

Try scrunching it when wet with gel or moose and then adding hair spray so the curls will hold.


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ok well im 13/m and i have feelings for my friend. The problem is that she has been going out with her boyfriend for a long time (year and like a month) andso i've been trying to be there for her and be her friend but now her and her bf are going through some rough times and she doesn't think he likes her anymore. I want to make a move but think that might be taking advantage of her and her situation. Should i go for it? Is it taking advantage of her current situatuion?

What I think you should do is tell her how you feel but explain that you are not just feeling this way because she is having problems with her boy friend, let her know you have felt this way about her for a long time but could never find a way to tell her with out coming off disrespectful towards her boy friend and relationship, and you just can't take it anymore.

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well i like this boy right and he's spanish and i have no problem with that b/c he''s really sweet and cute. but all my friends do b/c im like white and we're totally diff and some of my friends are sort of racist. i don't know what to do b/c i rlly like this boy...what should i do

Being hispanic myself, I'd say go for the guy. My boy friend isn't hispanic. Yeah some people may have problems with it but oh well. If they don't like it then don't look. If you really like him and he is sweet to you and makes you feel happy and special then that's all that matters. And your friends should understand that. If they can't then they aren't your real friends and you don't need a bunch of racist for friends.

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my friend has had this off and on relationship with this guy.hes fingered her and made out alot and stuff but he goes off and does stuff like that with other people.shes like my best friend EVER and she calls me crying sayin hes makin out with some girl.it breaks my heart and i think she should leave him.all he does is break her hearrt.she deserves so much better but she claims she loves him so much.other times she hates him.can someone help me?im afraid im in the middle.
Signed,
Concerned Friend

If you feel like you are in the middle then take yourself out. Let your friend know that you are there for her and will always be there but you have already let her know how you feel and you think she should this loser. If she choses to be with someone who is going to keep hurting her then she needs to deal with it because she is the one putting herself in that situation. If she's gonna be crying about it then she needs to take herself out of the situation she is in because she can't handle it. This guy obviously doesn't give a shit about her or have any respect for her so there's no way she can truelly love him. He isn't showing her love he is just using her and she needs to stop thinking that just because he kisses her and touches her where it makes her feel good that it means he loves her cuz it doesn't. He is making her look a fool, and noone deserves to be treated like a fool.

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ok... uhh mi best friend is an untrustworthy lier nd only out for them selves... she is always lieing to me nd not inviteing me places.. wat should i do

Look all I can say is that if you feel that way about your friend you need to let her know. Maybe she is unaware of how she is treating. She will only know hwo you feel if you tell her. Otherwise, just stop being her friend. If she really pisses you off maybe you are better off not being friends.

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I am a 16 yr old male and I have been going out with my girlfriend for 5 months. I always wanted to have sex with her but she would never let me. I wanted it so bad, and then one day we finally had sex. The next weekend we did it again, but I am running into a problem. I can't seem to get hard enough. When I masturbate, I get hard, but then when I'm with her I can only get a little bit hard. I feel horrible and I don't know what to do? What can I do to get hard when I'm with her?

I know this may seem uncomfortable, but try masturbating while she is there. You shouldn't feel embarrassed and she shouldn't think its funny or anything because sex is supposed to be for mature people and masturbating and all them other types of foreplay are all just a part of sex. Another suggestion is, if she's okay with it maybe she should try giving you oral. Sometimes just kissing and feeling isn't enough to get a guy going, don't feel bad about it. You're only 16 you are probably still discovering what your body's sexual needs are.

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I have liked this guy for a LONG time now but not too much has happened between us. I want to be with him romantically and we've fooled around a few times but we act like it never happened the next time we're together. He does things that make me believe he likes me back but I can never be sure. What should I do? I really want to be with him.

16 years old
Female

Okay, well both of you need to stop beating around the bush and acting like nothing ever happens between the two of you. There's a chance this guy may like you back and is just hesitant or shy about saying something but he could also not be saying anythign because he is using you. What you need to do is step up and ask him to be straight up with you about how he feels and what he wants. And let him know how you feel too, and that you want to be with him. If he bullshits you and doesn't really explain himself then leave him alone. You don't have time for games or heartache. Good luck! :)

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I don't know why but it seems like everytime I am at my dads he drinks. And when we are at some family get together my step-mom and my dad both drink and get "tipsy". I hate it when they do this and it pisses me off. I hate it. I tell them that it is stupid for them to do this but they never listen and it makes me frustrated and they act like idiots and it embarrases me to even think that I am related to him and her. It is so embarrasing sometimes, I feel like i am about to cry. What can I do to help me persuade them to stop drinking so much and just have a good time with out the liquor? I would really like to get some advice.

Try to explain to them that you want them to stop because you care for them. Maybe find a way to video tape them and then show them it so they can realize how stupid they look. But if you can't get through to them, don't stress yourself out. Adults are stubborn. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I know it sucks but they are gonna do what they want. Hopefully, once you talk to them they will want to stop drinking.

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I have this one really good friend, and let's call her Jane. Jane and I met last year, when I came to her school for a gifted program. Jane and I became kinda friends, but I made a best friend that I'll call Kristen. It's a year later, and now were all good friends. But on the bus the other day, this girl I'll call Sam bad mouthed my friend. I asked Kristen if she liked Jane, and she said no not really. Jane is a really good friend of mine but I don't know what to do?

Here's what you do... NOTHING. If Kristen doesn't like Jane then oh well. That is not your problem. You can like them both and it shouldn't be a problem, and if it is then they are immature. And don't bother telling Jane that Kristen doesn't like her. That will just cause drama that you don't need. If you guys are all getting along together or if it seems like you are then just leave it at that. Obviously, Kristen isn't woman enough to tell Jane how she really feels about her to her face, so just leave the situation alone. Don't make a problem out of something that is not your problem because all you will create is an even bigger problem.

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Im already having problems with my life right now but this just makes it worst!
Everyone has a girl in their school who is pretty, smart, friendly, flirty, somewhat popular.
My problem that I need advice on is how do I become that girl?
This girl, her names megan, shes short, blonde hair, pretty, smart, friendly, sorta popular, has an annoying voice sometimes, really flirty, talks about sex` bi (likes chicks n guys) a stoner but you cant tell.
She can become friends with anyone and they love her, she can start a conversation with anyone adn they talk back
Im not jealous of her bc she told me Im pretty too but I just cant be like her, I wanna find a way to be like her and I need real advice -not just talk more or flirt more- but real advice
So if anyone can help me out Id love that so please help me out Im stuck with this girl till Im outta school so I really need this advice
Please and Thank you

Honestly, you need to stop wanting to be like this girl and just be yourself. What do you think that girl is doing? She is just being herself. Sure you think she is perfect, but I'm sure she doesn't think the same way. No one is the same, so just be yourself. Don't try and be anythign you are not. No one wants a phony person for a friend. People want what is real. So be real.

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How do you know your in love?I've know a boy for a year in a half and me and him are close and today i told him i never want to talk to him but righ after i went to my room and bagan crying.I dont know why cried i didt think it would hurt me but it does.How do you know when your in love?

Love is such a strong and strange feeling. Its so hard to explain or know when its real. All I can say is that love is a process, like it seed it grows but it takes time. The more time and dedication you put into it the more it progresses and the stronger you feel. No one can tell you if you love someone that is only something you can decide. So, I suggest that if you feel you love this guy maybe it isn't a good thing to cut him off, but to let him back in and keep letting things grow.

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Im a 15 male.. and im gothic, is it wierd that i wear black nailpolish? give me some details and convince me if it is..

No its not weird. If you feel comfortable with it than that's all that matters. As an individual you have the right to express your personality in anyway you please. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Infact, who cares what they think. Don't let anyone keep you from being YOU.

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So this guy that i've been off and on with for about a year just told me recently that it was over for good and i don't know why! He won't talk to me or look at me or anything! but thats not even the bad part! I really like him! I can't stop thinking about him or being with him! I don't know what to do! Should i just leave it alone?

Yes you should just leave him alone. Don't humilate yourself by crying in front of him or begging for him back. I know its hard but you have to be strong. And maybe if he sees that you are going on without him, he may want you back. People always want someone back once they realize they lost them. But if he doesn't come back then oh well, his lost. You don't need a man to be happy. You're not desperate.

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m/16 Hi, ive been dating my girlfriend for 5 months and a few weeks and her parents are, sorry to say, PISSING ME THE **** OFF. They wont EVER let her see me but maybe 1 every two weeks or so, and it kills me cause i never get ANY alone time with her, and the time we do get to spend together is with friends cause her parents wont let her over to my house alone. Anyone know of anything I can do to get their parents to let her do somthing, or anything i can tell my girl to say? help please!

Get her to try and explain to her parents that she is 16 and she is not stupid. She knows right from wrong and isn't gonna do anything she doesn't want to or let anyone make her for that matter. Plus, you are not that type of guy anyway, you have respect for her. She has to let them know that she is growing up to become a smart independant woman, but its hard to do that if they won't let her do things on her own and make her own decisions. Parents are tough, but sometimes all they need is an intelligent conversation to show them that their kid is maturing and can handle and needs space. If her parents are still being uncooperative, then I hate to say it, but just have her lie and say she is with a friend when she wants some alone time with you. Her parents may get pissed if they find out, but hey, they did it to themselves vy not giving her space to grow up.

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No long explanation this time. Simply that I'm a lazy ass, hardcore even, and I need suggestions on how to motivate myself to do what I need to do.

You have to be more confident and positive and think of the consequences you will face if you don't get up and do what you have to do. Its great sitting on your ass all day but when you don't get important things done and people are pissed with you or if you miss out on something its so great anymore. Just tell yourself, "I'm not doing anything anyway, might as well do something useful with my time."

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Im 13 and me and my bf have been goin out for about 4 months now. I really love him with all my heart and he's like my soul-mate. He cares 4 me and loves me a lot to! (also 13).
I've been in a past relationship where the guy took kissing and making out for advantage.. and I still haven't really healed from it. My bf wants to make out and says he respects me not being ready. He asks me when I will be ready or if I ever will. It seems like all he wants is to make out.. Wut do I do?


your bf justs wants to kiss you. its good that he has respect with the fact that you are not ready. but he probably is asking you when you will be becasue he is getting anxious. there is nothing wrong with that. you should just kiss him already. not all guys are the same.

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i have been with my boyfreind off and on kinda of for 8 months, i wanted to take a break becuase like i felt like he was holding me back from things i wanted to do, like he always wnated to knoe where i was or what i was doing and always aummesed things like he had no trust in me or sumthing. but during the break i tlaked to afew other guys and i felt likle happy talking to them and didnt wanan go back, but he keeps like sucking me backinto the relasitship bcuz he knows he kan, becuase i still care for him way to much and hes all in love with me and stuff and woukdnt never do ne thing againt me, i duno its jus hard, becuase im the one thats confused i could jus go right back into the relatsihip and b the sameold way but i think i want something new, hs the first guy ive ever relaly made out with kind of my first everything, so i odnt kno ne thing other then him so is kind of hard when alot of other guys want to like hang out or somethingand i want to but i cant knopwing i sitll have him, i duno im jus really confused !

look if you want space, then you want space. you are young. it is perfectly normal to want to know what other guys are like. seems to me like you still have alot of feelings for your ex, thats why you keep letting him back in. hes not making you. you have to sit and really think about what you want. if you really care for him, then stop the on off games and stick with him. but if you want to see other people, then let him know that and stick with that. you cant keep going back and fourth, you will drive yourself crazy.

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Ok hello people i not really fat or anything but i m starting to like get more fat around mi legs and stomach anyone got any ideas on good exercise to get ride of it or any tips?
~Help~

running and crunches. you are probably getting more fat in these areas becasue you are getting older and filling out. but running and crunches should tone you up. you just have to dedicate yourself, so it will work.

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ok so recently, in the past few months, ive turned into a bit of a bitch. i honestly dont know why. i get annoyed a lot easier. most of the time, i get jealous really easy. like for example, my friend found out that i had a advice column, so he decided he wanted one. well i got really mad because its my "thing" and i wanted it to myself. im selfish and im whiney. i dont know why im starting to be like this. i also started doing drugs, becoming more "sexual", looking at porn, being belemic, and a lot of stuff that i know will ruin my life. i cant stop. im losing all my friends, and ive already lost a lot of them. i just dont know what to do.

How old are you? I don't know why you changed. Has anything in your life changed? Like did you have a bad break up or are there problems at home? like a divorce, drug/alcohol using parent, abuse? Did you lose a good friend or did a loved one pass away? these could be reasons you are changing. let me know whats going on so I can help you better.

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