about

Many of my friends say that I am a good listener and advice giver. Because I have experienced many good and bad situations, I know what it is like to feel down or confused. I am a mother, daughter, sister, girl friend, and friend. And if I can't figure out how to answer a question, I'm sure I know someone who can. And I've come to notice that most of the questions people ask they already know the answer to, they just need a little reassurance. But I will warn you that my policy is, if you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. But i will say that it is my joy to help anyone with a real problem, so ask away!




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advice

My husband and I have been married for almost two years. We married after finding out I was pregnant with my son. I've followed him to his home town, far away from what I know. I've had a hard time relating to his family. He promised me stability, (a house, a good job for him, an opportunity to go to school) We've been here 6 months living off unemployment. He finally got a job, but wants to quit. We just moved out of my in-laws place and into an apartment. (more bills)
He is even considering the Army national guard. We were active Army before, (where we met)I spent my whole pregnancy alone, cause he was deployed. I don't want to go through it again. I can't divorce him, nowhere to go. I am afraid of what a divorce will do to my son. Any advice? Experienced advice appreciated

divorce isnt the answer to everything, but you cant talk to your husband and explain to him that chnages have to be made then that might be the only answer for the sake of your happiness. he has to understand that he can not just be getting jobs and quitting them, he has a family and bills to pay. he has respocibilties and if he doesnt want to own up to them you will find someone who can or learn to do it on your own. yes, divorces can be hard on children... but your son is still young. do you really want him to spend his years going through what you are because once he gets older he will realize how things really are, and sons hgave a tendency to lean towards their mothers, so if your not happy chances are he wont be happy either. but dont just jump into a divorce. really sit down and talk to him and tell him what you want and give him a chance to make the changes. good luck.

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hi, i just have a question about bumps on my breasts. well, they're not on my breasts but on my nipplles. they're tiny, prolly about a milimeter big.and theres quite a few of them. idk if this happens because i'm growing or something (14/f)? is it normal?

yes its normal, its just hormones because you are grownng. dont be alarmed.

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I moved into an apartment with my friend and now I wanna move out. The problem is, we don't know who gets what (lamps, tables, couches, kitchen stuff...). Honestly, everything in MY room is what I paid for, and I bought most of everything else, but I can't remember exactly who bought what. How do we decide fairly who gets what? How do I handle something like this better in the future?

in the future, dont move in with someone else and if you have to keep all of yor recepits. as for your present situation... take all of the stuff in your room of course... and since you cant remember who got what i would sell all of it and split the money, i know you probably wont get what you paid for and it might be a hassell if you need funiture for the new places the 2 of you are moving to but i mean how do you split a couch, or like end tables and the coffee table, you dont want to break the set. maybe with kitchen appliances you can split them based on who really uses what more often... but my only suggestion is to sell it all and split the profits.

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What the heck is a pube? I hear people use the word in jokes alot, someone tell me what it is pleasssse!

haha! its short for pubic hair.

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hey guys. okay. me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 9 months now and weve already had sex and stuff. (idk if that will help with the answer or not..) but anyhow things used to be great until a long time ago i suggested that we dont have sex as often and then we talked and then we decided that that was dumb and not to do that. after that day though it seems like we havent really been the same. gradually it seems like we argue alot and get mad at eachother really easily and i hate that; and i know he does too. i love my boyfriend with all of my heart and it kinda seems like we both dont care about eachother anymore. there`ll be days i`ll wake up and think i dont wanna do this anymore but then there`ll be days when i looooove him so much. okay AND get this. when we get in a fight and hes being realy mean and then we suggest to take a break he`ll cry about it and expect me to just say that its okay but im not going to do that anymore. i cant. somedays it feels like we bring out the worst in eachother and i hate that. not to mention i could really do without his trust issues too. *breathes.* okay so i need some help here. what can i do to make things better with us, and get rid of the tension and arguing and crap? and to try and help him get over trust issues? i love my BF so much and i dont want to loose him but that seems my only option other than ignoring him the rest of the night these days. please help! it would be GREATLY appreciated. =)

okay ignoring him will not work, it will just drive you even more crazy because your mind will be racing a mile a minute with all kinds of crzy thoughts and silly ideas. what you really need to do is sit and talk. i mean really talk. communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship, that and trust. and since you guys are having trust issues as well, it looks like you really need to work on things. tell him you want him to sit down and hear everything you ahve to say without being interrupted and after you are done say exactly and truelly how you feel (and dont sugar coat anything) then he can say what he has to without being interuppted. what you should day is basically what you just said in your question, because all of that is completelt honest. if you can tell millions of strangers how you feel about him then you should be able to tell him. and from there you guys can figure out the proper solution. good luck.

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i have had feelings for this guy and my bestfriend has known this for years

i've heard he likes me too but sometimes he's so sweet and sometimes he's an ass to my face and teases me........the only reason i keep having feelings for him is bc deep down i can tell he likes me.

my bestfriend just had her heart broken from another guy and i helped her through everything........i was always with her encouraging her and bringing her flowers and crying with her.

a week later we were at a part.....i walk into a room and she is hooking up with the guy i like!!!
i can't begin to explain how bad that felt. i mean he's the reason i come to that party. he's the person i dress up to impress. i've liked him foreverrrrr! and my bestfriend???

so the next day i talk to her and tell her that she really hurt me. and she says she was drunk and she didn't know what she was doing. i tell her whatever and just move on.


but then the next week. i was at a party and i can't find her again! so i go upstairs and she's hooking up with him again!!!!!

by now i am sooooooooooooooooooooooo mad and sad and frustrated i just leave. i figure she's doing this bc she had her heart broken and she's trying to do it to me so i can feel it too.


the next day i talk to her and tell her she's being so low and i don't know what's going through her mind!!! she says she has feelings for him too. she's never told me that. and there's no reason i should be mad bc he's not my "property" and that when he starts making out with her......should she stop and tell him i can't bc my best friend like you too!

and then she also says the reason he's an ass to you sometimes is bc he just doesn't like you! you need to come to realize he does not like you!

and now i think she's going to start dating him.

she's been my bestfriend for 9 years. and i do everything with her.i don't want this to ruin our friendship. but i think it is already.

i feel like i've lost the guy i've always wanted and my bestfriend at the same time and i have no one to talk about it with.

it is so wrong for your friend to that to you. one thing friends should not do is date eachothers boyfriends, exes or crushes, thats almost a rule because it causes so much trouble and is so disrespectful. im sorry your friend is such a huzzy on the rebound. she could have chosen any other guy to make her forget about her ex and left the guy she knew you liked alone, reguardless if you are with him or was ever with him or not. she is being very selfish. honestly, i would cut her short and the guy too. you cant have him now that all her whore ass germs are all over him, you shouldnt take left overs, especially from a friend or ex friend. i know its hard but you need to forget about them. if you stay involved with either of them you will never be able to look at them the same. when you see her you will just remember how dirty she did you and when you see him all you will see is her and them all over each other, its not worth the pain. i know it will be hard but leave them alone.

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whats the best way to get rid of poison ivy? i have like this big bump on my finger and its like filled with fluid or something.. should i pop it? and now its starting to grow on my other fingers and my arm.. what should i do? would this keep on spreading?? HELP

there are plenty of over the counter meds for poison ivy... benadryl makes some really good stuff, they have a spray and an ointment that work well. but honestly, the best thing that works for me is calamine or caladryl lotion. they dry the bumps out. i like to clean them with alcohol before a new application, that helps dry them out more too. and whatever you do, DONT POP THEM. the oozy stuff inside of them makes them spread. if over the counter stuff doesnt work after a week, see a doctor and get a prescription.

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are there any good acne scar removers out there that is cheap? i have tried cocoa butter and i have not seen any results at all and ive done this for like 2 months..

try st ives facial cleanser... its not expensive... its in a bottle with a pump and it says its for blemishes. i use it and it seems to work well... you just have to stick with it. no product works over night.good luck.

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how long does a tan stay on for if you tan outside?

it depends if you just tan once or if you continue to tan. if you get a tan and continue to keep up with it you can stay tan all summer, and you will watch fader through the fall... but if you just catch a tan one day and dont keep up with it it will start to lighten in about 2 weeks.

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why do we cry over a guy?
when i listen to a slow jam its always remind me of my crush and makes me cry so much hes a great guy but he didnt like me back do i really love/like him or just infatuation?
and when im around with my friends and when im sad but i pretend to be happy why?

i think you are probably just a little infatuated. its normal for this to happen when you are young and learning about love. normally when girls are older and wiser (more mature) they will know not to give a guy the time of day or the satifaction of knowing she likes him if they can see that he's not intrested. you probably cry and be sad and try to hide it because you are just lonely but you dont want anyone to know or feel bad for you. if i were you i would find a way to forget about this crush and try to give some guy you know or your friends know that is intrested in you a chance.

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I hang out with preps, but I don't limit myself to HCO, A&F, AE, Aero, or prep styles. I have a few ideas for new sneakers, but I want your opinion of which one I should get. Also, I can't get anything over $70...
1. White adidas' (cute but kind of expensive)
2. Black or Turquoise Chucks (are they alrite to wear.. trend-wise?)
3. Cute athletic shoes (which ones are "cute"?)

Any comments, other suggestions, or anything else would be AWESOME!

Thanks so much!

id go with some white addidas shelltops... they are not that expensive and will go with alot of stuff

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I am a guy, 32 years, even though people say I look and act 25. On May 9 2006, I met this 21 year old girl when she came for a 10-day workshop in my film school from another university some 3 hours drive from my film school. She is in her 3rd year. She gave me the impression that she liked me, always hanging around me, and I started to give her my time. I really got to like her afterwards. She told me she had no boyfriend, as her previous boyfriend, who was a student in her school had graduated and left the town and wasn’t calling her frequently enough the way she wanted and they tended to drift apart. Time could not permit us to start sleeping together before she returned to her school. She told me she was not good with long distance relationship but we agreed to give it a try. We exchanged phone calls everyday, with me doing most of the calling, but then she beeped (flashed) me very often whenever she wanted me to call. About first week of June she stopped beeping (flashing) me like she used to, even though I continue to call her regularly. I wondered if she wasn’t as enthusiastic about our relationship like before. I’ve visited her once and she promised to visit me in my school but she doesn’t until I graduated from my film school last month and left the town. I once told her that it seems we are not as imitate as before and she says it is because she has doubts that I can handle a long distance relationship. When I promised to play my part right, she promised to play hers too. In the last 9 days, I have been putting up in a town some 45 minutes drive from her school doing some screenwriting and I visited her once. She keeps saying she would come visit me in return but keeps saying she is not sure when, until she told me today that she will not come for reasons best known to her. I still do all the calling, she still doesn’t beep (flash) me always claiming she is broke, even when she is from a rich family. However, whenever we chat she sounds as friendly as ever. I have not slept with her or even kiss her, although I am not eager to, because I truly love her. I wonder if all is well, or if I am wasting me time on her.

seems to me like shes losing interest... maybe yu are wasting your time. the next time you talk to her tell her how you really feel about things and see what she has to say... if she kind of avoids it or just acts like it is no biggie then she probably isnt serious.

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I'm 15/f 110 pounds and 5'3". I ride my bike 1-2 miles 3-5 days a week (to work) and sometimes 10 miles or less on Saturdays. I do sit-ups sometimes before I go to bed. But still I feel kinda fat. What's a simple way to lose a few pounds? Like an example of daily meals to eat and excercises to do?

5'3 and 110 lbs! you are not fat! you are underweight! you dont need a diet... you actually need to see a doctor, maybe even a therapist becasue it seems to me like you have a problem.

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my boyfriend wants to fight with a relative of mine who has a crush on me....REAL CRUSH ON ME..they said that they will have a "till death" fight and i dont know how to stop them...my boyfriend and that guy are really stubbonrn...they may REALLY get one another KILLED...i just need a way to stop them...i am almost 15 and my realtive is 15 and half and my boyfriend is turning 17,thank you

seems like you're not changing their minds... just let them fight... they'll realize how stupid they are afterwards

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Is it possible for a guy to cum during dry sex? If so, how? Because everytime me and my boyfriend have dry sex, he can never cum, only i can. Any advice?

yeah... stop humping eachother like dogs and get on with it

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I have to cousins and their parents are seperated. Both of their parents are alcoholics. They live with their mother, who treats them unkindly. One of my cousins, Rachel, she's always upset and crying because of my aunt. My other cousin, Matt, he will argue with my aunt unlike rachel but he ends up angry and upset also. They refuse to admit that my aunt has a problem. Rachel and Matt do EVERYTHING! They washes the dishes, does the laundry, cooks every meal, cleans the windows, vacuums, dusts, and many other things while my aunt, she just sits there drunk, while screaming at them and making fun of them! Rachel is too scared to argue with my aunt about doing these things. Matt argues every now and then but not a lot. He also has always been very pale and thin because he is so upset all the time. They won't talk to anyone about this. They are scared of their own mother! I don't know what I can say to them to help them through this. Does anyone have any ideas of what I can do or say?

its sad too say but you really cant do too much... i mean you could probably have a sit down with your cousin one day and tell her how you feel, but if she cant admit her mom is a screw up it probabaly wont do much. also, yelling and arguing with their mom wont make things any better.

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how do i get them to notice me?! i might not be the prettiest girl but i know im not ugly and i havent had a bf yet. not even a first kiss. im 13/f and idk how i can get noticed.

jump up and down with a whitsle in your mouth... maybe they will notice you then...

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This has been bothering me for quite a while, what does the symbol with an "A" with a circle around it mean? I know it has something to do with punkish stuff, but what does it actually mean?

thanks!

it means AT... for example if you were going to say dumbass@moron.com you would say "Dumb ass AT moron dot com... and it aint got shit to do with any punkish stuff.

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My friend has a cousin who is to rough on me and I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to hang around his cousin she is way to rough on me and forces him to join in with it and I dont know what to do can any of you help me.


Ari a new adviceanator.

tell those pussies to back off before you fuck them up

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well I have this big problem that I flirt whenever, because I was just talking with this person that I don't "like-like" he's just okay, well anyway I realized after that I was sorta flirting and I realized I do it a ton, with out trying, and I am sending those people the wrong message, can someone help me with my problem, is it normal, I am way confused, thanks

look for real for real, it doesnt matter how much you flirt or "seem" to be flirting with anyone, its all in fun... there is no "message"... and if some idiot guy thinks there is a "message" you tell him theres not and he just better respect that

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