about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

hello, im a guy and im 14. i have always been kind of quiet in school and stuff. i was just wondering, what should i talk about w/ girls? like i don't know what to say in person except like hi, how are you. and on line i just say hey, whats up, and then the conversation kind of goes quiet, i need real help.

See if you can find a common interest with the girl you're talking to. A movie you both saw, the awful english assignment the whole class is groaning about, or the new CD that just came out are all good starting points. Good luck.

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hi im 13 and i bought this one thong and i havent worn it yet because if i wear it it will have to be washed and if it gets washed my mom will see it and if she does i think i will bein trouble because i dont know if my mom is alright with me wearing thongs. Everyone wears them in my school but idk if my mom will be alright with it and im afraid to ask her. What can i do to wear one without getting in trouble?

First off, I think you're worrying over nothing. I was raised in a Christian home and me and my 2 sisters all wore thongs. My mom said it was a matter of preference but she didn't understand why we'd want that string up our butts. lol

Another option is that you can do your laundry yourself. It's not that hard. Tell your mom that you'd like to help her by doing your own laundry. That way your clothes get cleaned but you don't have to worry about it.

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Well, this is kind of embarrsing, but I need tips on how to give good lesbian sex. I've had it before wiht my friend, but she didn't seem to enjoy it. So please give me a detailed answer on how to make her enjoy it. Please make it step by step and detailed!

I rate HIGH :)

Thanx!

First of all, many women experiment with other women. Some like it, some don't. With that said, sit down and talk to you friend. Ask her how she felt with what you did before. If she's interested in trying again, ask her what she likes and dislikes. Great sex is not step-by-step with details but more learning what your partner enjoys. Good luck.

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I'm a mysophobiac (germ freak, afraid of things being contaminated) and I hate it because I wash my hands constantly and I go through a bottle of handsanitizer each day, and I don't trust people with my food or drinks (or anything along those lines)...does anybody know how to cure phobias? I'm desperate

A licensed counselor will be able to work with you to help you learn how to overcome your phobia.

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Me and my bf have gone out for 3 years and I really love him and all but theres a problem...He keeps trying to have sex with me and I don't blame him cause hes probably horny. But hes penis is too big. I tried to give him a blowjob but I couldn't fit the whole thing in my mouth. And he didn't seem to enjoy it. We had sex once and I was hurting really bad cause it was my first time and he kept putting the whole thing in and it hurt.

Does anyone have any tips of how I can pleasure him without hurting myself or having him not like it at all?

Ok first of all if you're not ready, your body will not let him in, whether he's big or small. Take the time to completely relax before you try having sex. Making sure you're turned on also helps. Ask your bf if he's heard of foreplay. Try the woman-on-top (cowgirl) position. It gives you control of how deep he can go so that way you can take as much or as little as you want. Make sure you warn him that if he tries to help by moving, you'll stop.

The first time usually does hurt, especially if you have someone who does not give you time to adjust. Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him that you need him to take it slower.

You can give a blow jow without taking the whole thing in your mouth. Use your hands with your mouth.

And last but not least, don't forget protection. If you can't talk to your parents, go to your local health department or planned parenthood office.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

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I'm Jewish but not religious.I want to become Christian but what exactly does it mean to be Christian.What are their beliefs? Also, does anyone have any words of wisdom to make me feel better when I don't feel that important?

There are varying degrees of Christianity, which also encompasses many religions. I'm Baptist so I'll give it to you from that point of view. We believe that God created the heavens and earth as well as man. When He saw man's sin, he sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Because Jesus died for us, we choose to take God into our hearts and our lives and live in his way. That's not to say we don't goof up from time to time, but we ask for forgiveness for our sins. That's a bare-bones explanation since a real explanation would take more space and time than I have at this moment.

Basically most religions are the same underneath in that they promote treating one another kindly and not breaking the law.

I'm giving you a couple sites which I think will be helpful in your search for religion. These are just sites I've found online. You are free to choose your own way. I won't get offended if being Baptist doesn't suit you.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/christ.htm
http://new.christianity.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity

A word of encouragement no matter what religion you are-Someone cares about you no matter what. It may be your God, your friend, your family, or a complete stranger, but someone always cares.

Good luck in your search for religion. I wish you all the best. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me.

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Over the past year I have felt some changes. I notice that I wasn't interested in guys anymore. And after talking to my family and shrink about it, we came to the conclusion.. I'm a lesbian. After admitting this very tough situation to my friends, I sort of lost them. It seems they don't want to be friends b/c they are afraid of the situation, and they don't want to be friends with me. I thought admitting this to my friends was the right thing to do. What should I do.

A true friend stands beside you regardless of your sexual orientation.

If you haven't already, visit PFLAG at www.pflag.org. It's a wonderful information source for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, their families and friends. It gives tips on coming out, how to deal with someone coming out, common questions, and resources and groups to help you and them understand the decision you've made.

I admire your courage at being completely open with your friends. It's wonderful that your family is supportive of you. So many parents these days turn their backs on their kids because of their sexual orientation.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.

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what are symptoms of diabetes?

Cold or tingly feet (generally due to poor circulation), increased thirst, weight loss without dieting, excessive urination, sores that heal slowly, feeling very hungry, blurry eyesight, more prone to infection, and feeling more tired than usual are all signs of diabetes.

You are at risk if you're overweight, get little or no exercise, have a family history of diabetes, are a woman who's had a baby over 9 pounds, or are over 45.

Keto-stix (available at most drug stores) will tell you if you're burning ketones, a common occurrence for diabetics who don't have their condition under control. A simple blood test and physical exam at the doctor's office is all it takes to diagnose it.

Hope this helps.

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Ok so you know that little arrow u click next to your browser that shows you all the sites you been to recently? ok so i clicked that today, looking for a site a typed in (im lazy), and then i find this site called nextboys.com. i have never heard, nor typed, nor visited that website so i was curious why it was on our computer. i clicked it, and you wouldnt believe what it was. it was a site for gay massaging!! UGH!! im really mad, because the only people who live in my house is my 7 year old sister, and my mom and dad!! my question is: is it most likley my parents did this, or is there another way to get a site in that list. and if my parents did it, what should i say to them????

It's possible that someone just clicked on the wrong link or accidentally clicked on a pop-up. Pop-ups are a pain in the hind end and often send you places you never expected to go. If it really bothers you, calmly talk to your parents and tell them that you found this site in the address bar and your feelings on it. Note I said calmly. If they feel like you're accusing them, they will get defensive and more than likely you'll end up in trouble. Not everyone agrees with what their parents do but sometimes we just have to turn a blind eye to the things we don't like. Good luck.

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My friend knows I like this guy and that i hooked up with (she too hooked up with another boy) but the other night she was flirting with the boy I like and have hooked up with! Isnt this against girl code or something? She was standing on a table while he was laying face first on the table trying to act like a stripper..then she started to smack his ass..my other friend who knows i like the boy also joined in..what do i make out of this? do i talk to her or let it go? we never fight really..

The best thing to do is tell this friend that you were hurt by her actions since she knows you like this boy. If she says so what or keeps doing it, then she's obviously not that good of a friend since a true friend would not go out of their way to hurt you. Good luck.

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Okay..sorry in advance if this is long but i really need some advice. Alrite, well a few days ago me n my boyfriend were talking on the phone and he said what would happen if we broke up and i went out with one of your friends and that right that pissed me off and hes like sorry i was just thinking about something to talk about..since we are both very shy! But then i was talking to my boyfriends brother today and he said he told your friend *stacy that he liked her on the phone last night and i was like WHAT THE HELL! and then i talked to my boyfriend and he was like oh my god shes ugly and 2 years younger than me and all this stuff and he was like i only like and love one person and thats you. But i dont know if I should believe his borther..when i was talking to *stacy she said he said he was gonna tell me all this stuff because stacy wouldnt go out with him (my boyfriends lil brother)so im freaking bawling right now because im so stressed out and i dont know who exactly to believe..also his lil brother told me (about 3 months ago) that my bf was cheating on me and that proved to be true but it seems lately that me and my boyfriend have had the "perfect relationship" i love him so much..also stacy talks to my boyfriend on the phone for like 3 hours but she says they talk about me the whole time? So please help me! Sorry its so long!

Out of the mouths of babies. Since your bf's lil brother has told you the truth before, I would at least consider the possibility that he's telling you the truth now. Your bf's remark does seem a bit odd, almost like he was tryng to see what your reaction would be before he makes his move.

Now on the other side At one time my best friend also talked to my bf all the time, and it was completely innocent. She even got us back together when we split up.

Ask Stacy (without getting into all the details about what was said) if your bf's lil brother asked her out. If she says yes, then you can probably assume that it's just revenge and go back to being in love. If she says no, I would wonder myself.

Since he's already cheated on you once, I would think hard about this. Most, not all, the time if someone cheats on you, they'll do it again.

Noone can tell you what to do. You have to follow your heart. Good luck and I wish you the best.

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Does anyone know any links for rearranging your room and organizing tips
thanx

http://www.dragon-gate.com/
http://www.fengshuipalace.com/
http://fengshuiarticles.com/
http://jamilin.com/
Hope these were what you were wanting. Good luck.

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Well I'm a lesbian and my parents don't know. How do I tell them? I'm scared they'll kick me out of the house or something.

www.pflag.org is a wonderful site devoted to helping gays, lesbians, friends and family. It provides support, educates family, advocates equal rights, and provides public information on gender identity and sexual orientation. They have a special page just on coming out including questions that your family may ask.
http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html is another site you might look at since it deals directly with coming out to your parents. I hope this helps.

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I'm about to move into my first apartment and i was wondering if anyone had any ideas for how to decorate it.

First of all since you said apartment, I'm going to assume that like most, it's small. To make it seem bigger, use light, bright colors. Mirrors make a room look bigger. Try not to section the area off. Making the rooms flow also makes it appear bigger so have a general theme throughout the apartment to pull it together. www.hgtv.com has wonderful decorating tips as well as a room planner so you can get a general idea of where to place your furniture to most maximize the space. Good luck.

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im turnin 14 on duh 22 nd my bestfriend may not b able to see meh kuhz her kuzinz ar in state frm sumwhere, my other friend will b too tired frm germany, 5 of my friends ar in asia, 3 in europe, 1 too far, 1 iznt allowed to go out wifout her mom nd yaah.. those ar jes my reeeeely close friends. i hav a few close friends staying. any ideas of wuht i kan do? buh my crush sed he kan take meh out, shoul i jes go out wif him nd not do anything?

Why choose between the two? Make an early date with the crush then plan on a slumber party later that evening. You know your friends will want to hear all the details from your date anyway. Then you can do makeovers and plan for your next date. Good luck and happy birthday.

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recently i just ended the three year relationship with my boyfriend all for good cause (basically, he's been treating me like pure shit lately. this includes verbal abuse, possessiveness, and odd male mood swings that he takes out on me). as you can imagine, i've grown some emotional attachment to him during those three years...and i want to know if there are some ways that i can move on?

like a co-worker asked me today if i had a significant other, and since i chose to end the relationship, the answer should be no, right? well, for some reason i still said that i did, when i know for a fact that it's over between us. it's like everything i look at or do reminds me of him, and it's bugging me because i don't want to go back. i never want to go back...yet i can't grasp the ability to just forget about it all and move on, ya know?

i want to hope that things will be alright, but i've done that all too much these past few years all ending in disappointment. i just want to feel happily single again, without a care in the world, without this horrible feeling on my shoulders...i just don't know how.

can anyone help?

First of all, you should be extremely proud of yourself for getting out of an abusive relationship. That takes amazing strength and courage.

When something reminds you of him, think of a bad thing he's done to you. That will keep your mind focused on why you don't want to be with him. Make a list of all the things you've learned that you DO NOT want in a guy. That will make it easier when the next one comes along.

Go out with friends. Stay busy. Keep a journal. Remind yourself of all the good things about being single-being able to go out with friends when you want, getting to pick what movie to watch, being able to have a bad hair day without wondering what he'll think.

Cry, scream, tear up his pictures, or trash him to a good friend. It helps to get your emotions out.

Take up a new hobby or make a list of all the good things about you to rebuild your confidence.

Take a break from men. It always seems to me that when someone starts looking, the right one finally comes along.

Believe me, I've been in your shoes before. Your story could be mine. Once I remembered what fun being single was and took advantage of being able to do what I wanted when I wanted to, I got over that guy and moved on. I took a break from men and the right one finally came along. I'm now happily married. Good luck in moving on. It does get better.

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OK, so today I start a volunteer job at a senior center. I'm excited, becus i get to play games with them and stuff like that. But I'm also nervous. What if they start talking to me, but I can't understand what they are saying? Some of them tend to make fun of newer people, so what if I'm bad at a game, and they make fun of me? I know they dont really mean it, but what do i say? 3 of my grandparents have died, and my gramma is still in her 60's. please help me, i'll rate 5's for anything, even if its just encouragement!

When talking to elderly people, it's usually best to talk slow and clearly since many have hearing problems. However, do not speak to them like they're a child. Watch their body language for clues to what they are saying and if you don't understand, ask them to repeat. Just a "I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Would you mind repeating that?" will work. If you're bad at a game, ask them for tips. Many seniors feel unneeded and someone asking them for help will often brighten their day. Good luck in your new job. I hope it works out for the best.

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okay i always seem to be the friend never THE girl. i mean its always this way. i'm really funny and i make jokes alot, but i cant seem to stop. i am also really sarcastic some of the time. i'm the girl who is playing football with the guys at parties or shooting hoops or playing some video game with them or seeing who can chug their drink the fastest..i just have more fun hanging out with guys and i can talk to them more than i can girls because there isnt as much *drama* with them. i really want to be THE GIRL for this kid named matt. hes a great soccer player, amazing football player, smart, funny, hott, helpful. just all around what i want, and i want to know how i can change some of the ways i am so he'll like me, or atleast notice i am a girl and i've got the potentional to be a girlfriend. hes never made out with anyone and neither have i but i know i want to be the first person he ever makes out with! can anyone and everyone PLEASE help me?! thanks so much. 5's help!

First of all it's never a good idea to change who you are for anyone. You'll begin to resent the fact that you have to hide your real self and others, in this case Matt, will see that you're just playing a part. It seems to me like you two have a lot in common. Get his attention by asking him if he wants to play a little one-on-one or ask him for tips on the sports he plays. Guys tend to stick with girls that they have common interests with and that they can relate to. Good luck with Matt.

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ok, I am like in love with babysitting. Like if my mom doesn't tell me someone called for me to babysit them I get upset! I just love kids. So, here is the question, will I forget about babysitting after a while? Because all of my sisters and older people said they thought that they would open a daycare but then they hated it once they turned about 16.

Some people babysit just for the money and some babysit for the love of kids. Those who love the kids generally go into a career that allows them to work with kids. Experiment with other things to see what you really love. Hold on to your dreams.

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Hi

I need to have a blood test done just as a precaution for STDS to test for HIV, Hepatisis,etc..which I am sure I don't have anyways..but the DR just wants me to have it all done.. ANYWAYS...if I only smoked a couple joints between 4 of us and I only do weed a couple times a month probably...just on a weekend sometimes...will it show up if they test me for HIV,etc? How long should I wait? Or should I just go anyways? The last time I done it was 2 days ago. I am going to the hospital early next week...
I don't want any lectures from people about doing weed please :) just an answer to my question if you have any input.

Thanks

Unless they are specifically testing for drugs, it shouldn't show up in your blood tests for STDs.

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