Phobia itself has two different meanings when it's attached to a word. When attached to "arachno" it means a fear of spiders. When attached to "photo", as in photophobia, it means a strong aversion to light. So depending on the word you're attaching it to, it can mean either fear or strong aversion.

Homophobia is defined as a strong aversion to homosexuals or homosexuality.

As for why it's okay to have a "gay only" club, what about all-girl schools? Men's clubs? Ethnocentric schools? Christian schools? Isn't all of this discrimination in some form or another? It's the same reason why guys at my university weren't allowed to open a "Chauvinist Club" even though there was a Feminist Club already in practice. You can't really unite in putting other people down, but you can unite in supporting a cause. It's a little something called "love thy neighbour". Even if you're straight, you can often join GLBTQ groups. I've gone to trans support groups with a friend of mine, and I've learned so much.

These people have it rough, especially from people with this mindset. I know a guy who has escaped up here to Canada because of the attitude towards gay people in his home state. He's practically a refugee. In places that aren't tolerant and open-minded, they face bullying, intimidation, being beaten up, being ostracized or even murdered. Sometimes their parents cast them out of the family, or refuse to admit that they're gay. They go through a lot, and sometimes a body just needs support and understanding.

As for abortion, I hate the "you're either pro-choice or pro-life" thing. Does that mean that everyone who supports the availability of legal abortions will go out and kill babies because they're anti-life? I'm what you'd call pro-choice, but personally I would not get an abortion. What? That makes no sense! All y'all pro-choicers are babykillers!

A common misconception. Do you know what happens when abortions are illegal? Women go to back-alley clinics, get sketchy abortions in dirty places and then end up dying from infections. Women are forced by their partners to take drugs and medications to try and kill the fetus. Women are pushed or jump down the stairs to try and lose the baby. Or the girl who is raped and gets pregnant kills herself because she can't see a future where she has a stranger's baby. It's a choice between this, and the unnecessary deaths of hundreds of women, or providing legal abortions and allowing thousands of unwanted children to enter the world and go directly into the adoption/foster system.

What about one of my friends, who uses condoms and birth control pills and STILL managed to get pregnant? She is in university, not steadily dating the guy, and clinically depressed. Pregnancy would have been dangerous for her. What about a women who should not get pregnant because it would be harmful to her health? Or a rape or incest victim? These people should all have access to abortion.

Me? If I was to get pregnant, it would suck because I'd have to quit school. However, I'm engaged and own my own house. I could handle it, because I know the father's going to be there. I made sure of that before I started having sex with him. If only most people could be that responsible or lucky, we wouldn't get into these messes, but it just doesn't work that way.

One more thing to keep in mind is that in the first and second trimester, the fetus isn't capable of living on its own. Third trimester abortions are illegal, and second trimester are only available in medical emergencies. Look up some fetal development charts - at 8 weeks, it's more like a tadpole than a human being. That's why people can say it's not a person; because it isn't. It's a potential person. At that point, you're killing potential, not a human being who can think and talk.

I do the same thing, but I have a lot of hair so it's not really noticeable.

It's a tic caused by OCD. I feel strong urges to pull out hairs that feel weird.

Don't worry! I have a friend who is 24 years old, and just had her first one thanks to my suggestion.

It's hard for a guy to make you orgasm when you're not even sure yourself how to do it. I would suggest doing this on your own.

First things first - relax. It won't come if you are worried about it. Just think of it as exploring, rather than setting a goal at the end of it!

Do you own any toys? Don't get anything complicated... just a little multi-speed vibe will do the trick. Ask the people at the store what's best for beginners.

Don't directly stimulate the clitoris, because it's super sensitive and you'll probably either hurt yourself or numb yourself. Always make sure the hood is covering the clitoris to protect it. Explore, and if something feels really good, keep doing it! If it's not making you see stars, change it up. Set aside a good chunk of time for this. It may take a few tries on different days.

Your goal is to find out what makes you tick. You'll find your hot spots and be able to share them with your boyfriend.

If you're still having trouble, try going to a doctor. Explain that you've tried a few things, and can't seem to orgasm. They may be able to help you.

One more thing - some medications can have an adverse effect, especially anti-depressants.

It all depends on what you're going to university for.

Look up the average salary for people with your chosen career. Depending upon whether it's high-paying or low-paying, you may have different experiences.

For instance, I have friends who have taken out student loans for engineering. They can pay them back quickly because they're practically guaranteed employment at about $45 000 a year.

However, people who get an arts degree often find that they can't get into their chosen line of work. I worked at a call center for a while, and a lot of the people there were arts grads, working for minimum wage and trying desperately to cover student loans and rent.

One thing to remember is that often if you fail out of school, your loans come due right away. I would suggest not working during the school year unless absolutely necessary. Your first priority should be studying.

I live in Canada, where tuition is subsidized. I pay about $7500 a year in tuition, and that's high for us. However, I've managed to pay my own way without taking out any loans just by getting really good summer jobs and working hard through the school year. It is possible to have that balance.

Also remember that books are incredibly expensive. Budget out another $800-$1000 per year for those.

Are you renting? I managed to rent a room in a house for $350 a month, utilities included. Groceries cost me $100 a month, because I was really ridiculously thrifty. Entertainment was $10 a week, which is pretty spartan for most people. So yes, it's possible to live on less than $500 a month as a student. Just keep in mind what you'll need if you're going to live away from home.

I don't have experience with this particular type of plan. Mine was on a dollar basis (so you paid for food with your meal plan account)

One thing to take into consideration; are you planning on staying over the weekends or going home?

9 meals won't take you very far unless you plan on going home. That would do 4.5 days of 2 meals a day, meaning you'd pretty much need to go home or cook your own meals 2 days a week.

With the 14 meal plan, you can get a full week's worth of meals other than breakfast and lunch.

Don't do it!

You've heard correctly; the water from a hot tub can definitely be forced up inside of you and can cause serious abdominal infection, because warm water is a breeding ground for bacteria and the water is full of harsh chemicals.

Beyond this, the condom is more likely to tear because water removes your body's natural lubricant. It's super uncomfortable.

I'm in the same situation, same age.

You've got a few options when it comes to meeting girls.

Online:

Adult Friend Finder is a website for people to find sex partners in their area. You can get a free membership, but it's limited. Also, there are a lot of creepers on there, and a lot of explicit pictures in profiles and such. Not my biggest recommendation.

Craigslist casual encounters section may also help you out. You can post an ad explaining exactly what you're looking for. I think this might be your best bet.

Offline:

This is where it gets pretty hit and miss. You can try a GLBT club in your community, although they tend to dismiss bi-curious girls as being "on the fence".

Other than that, I've had success with friends in the past. You never know which of your friends might be interested! So if you have any close friends who you feel comfortable talking about this with, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Well, it would really only be against the law for you to have sex with him. Are you willing to wait to have sex with him until he's 16? Otherwise, it would just be a little different.

But hey, tons of women date younger men. Once you guys hit your twenties (if it lasted that long) nobody would even comment on the difference. So don't put him out of the picture just based on age.

From the sounds of it, you like the younger guy more. If you feel like he's the one for you, go for it!

It doesn't brand you as a "hoe", but it certainly means that you don't attach too much importance to the emotional aspect of sex.

You're willing to have sex with men who you don't really know intimately and who don't know you intimately. Many (if not most) women choose to have sex with their partner only if they are in a somewhat serious relationship. You simply choose to forgo that bit of security clearance.

There's no such thing as "good" or "bad" when it comes to sexual partners. So long as you are comfortable with your motivations and are taking care of yourself (i.e. getting STI tests between each partner, using condoms and birth control) you will be fine.

However, since you're asking this question, I would have to say that you're probably not entirely comfortable with your choices. Why have you had sex with each of these guys? To get them to like you? To get them to date you exclusively? Just cause it feels good? Those aren't exactly the best reasons. If you had sex with them because you really cared about each one of them, then you have nothing to worry about. Before having sex with a man, think about why you want to do it.

The best way to have sex? I can tell you from past experience that the best way to have sex, and the way that will get you the most fulfillment out of it is to have sex with a person you are deeply in love with. I'm not saying you have to wait until marriage, but waiting is a good thing.

I had somewhat enjoyed sex with previous partners, but until I met my fiance I didn't have a really amazing experience. When there's a deep emotional connection and you know the other person incredibly well, everything feels so much better. You can let go of inhibitions and trust the other person entirely, which you can't do with someone you've only known for a few months or weeks.

Again, with time comes perspective. I know that I felt like my world had ended... over and over and over... but now I'm engaged and not even thinking of looking back at the guys I dated a few years ago!

There's an old saying that "time heals all wounds" and it's totally true. You'll look back on this a few weeks, months or years into the future and realize you've forgotten what you ever saw in him in the first place.

It's not weird at all to masturbate before getting your period. It's a healthy way to self-explore! I started well before hitting puberty, and got mine at 13 years old, so you're fine.

Masturbating will not delay or induce your period. The only way it has an effect, really, is that once you've started your period orgasming can really help to relieve cramping (yay!). So feel free to keep doing it.

I took the liberty of checking out your previous questions, and it sounds like you may be starting very soon. In fact, you may be having your first one now! It sounds a lot like my first... not enough to be quite sure, but it's there.

I can tell you how I would respond, but I'm certainly not 'normal' :P

I have OCD as well, and I would definitely be scrubbing those knives. I know all I'd be able to think about is those 'germs' crawling all over the knives. Then again, this comes from a person who washed down the entire house with bleach (it took me 2 days!) after seeing one cockroach.

On the practical side, there's really nothing to be worried about. There's no way that anything worse than what was already on those knives has managed to make its way on there because of your boyfriend's actions. Everything has tons of germs on it, even you!

What's your rush? You've got your whole life to make/adopt babies!

Yes, ideally you'd be able to procreate at the drop of a hat when you want to. Unfortunately, you don't have the same options as some couples.

You may have issues with your age. I would wait until you are in your 20s at the very earliest, if not a little later. Fortunately for you guys, you do have your youth, which will count in your favour a few years down the road. I know people in their mid 40s who want to adopt babies and are being turned down for being too old.

Also, they won't want to adopt out to unmarried parents. Once you guys have had the wedding (I'm assuming it's coming soon?) you'll be in a much better situation to adopt.

Remember that you'll need to be flexible. How would you feel about fostering children for a while before adopting? Or adopting outside your race or preferred age bracket? These are questions you'll probably be asked to determine how badly you want to be a parent.

That being said, I don't see any harm in talking to an adoption counselor. They may be able to give you more complete knowledge, or even tell you that you're perfect candidates now! Either way, you'll know what you need to do in order to become parents.

Another option; do you have any friends who have already given birth and might consider being a surrogate? You might look into that as well.

I know it feels like the end of the world. Been there, done that.

In the end though, he's just some guy. Obviously he wasn't happy in the relationship, which means that it wasn't going to last. You can't force a relationship to continue if it isn't meant to be.

Just be glad that you got out so that you can pursue a relationship that might work out. That old saying holds true: "There are plenty more fish in the sea"

Enjoy being single, hang out with friends and treat yourself to the occasional date; go out for a pedicure, to a movie, for ice cream... just enjoy your own company and that of your friends. Another guy will come along soon enough.

It's not your place to tell his siblings what to do. It's his.

I had a ton of problems with my fiance's twin brother for a few years after we started dating. He felt like I was replacing him, and kept getting in between my fiance and I. I was always second place, because the two of them were really close growing up.

Here's what I did to get out of that mess:

Talk to your guy. Tell him how you feel about his relatives. Let him know that you're considering breaking up with him because you can't deal with the family issues. Give him examples (if he hasn't seen this behavior) and tell him he needs to either do something about it or you will end things.

He has to talk to his siblings (not you!) about how they treat you. He needs to tell them that whether they like you or not, you are his choice, and that they need to grow up and accept you, because you're going to be around for quite a while.

He may be reluctant to do this because it can cause family arguments. At this point, though, something needs to be done or it'll only get worse, and can cause really big issues a few years down the road.

In the meantime, be as squeaky clean as you can around them. Don't do anything that could possibly be misinterpreted by them. Be as polite, nice and helpful as you can.

I guess it depends on the country you're in, based on the previous poster's answer. In Canada, you need to have a B. Sc. in Biology, then go to teacher's college.

Check out your country's requirements, because they're different everywhere!

I'm helping a friend of mine transition from female to male. It's a really long, difficult process (although I wish for his sake it was easier).

First off, you need to find a counsellor who specializes in gender issues. They can help talk you through the requirements in your country. For instance, in Canada, you are required to undergo a year of hormones and a year of Real Life, which is when you full out identify as a man but without the legal gender change on your documents BEFORE you can have surgery. You also have to be over 18 and qualify through mental health testing.

Real Life can be quite challenging, as it basically involves coming out as a man to everybody. You have to explain to potential employers why a man is registering as a woman in his legal documents.

Secondly, you need a support group. Is there a GLBTQ group at your school or in your community?

You also need to tell those people who are telling you not to go through with this to stuff it. This is who you are. You were born a man in a woman's body. I would normally say to wait it out because you're young, but from my friend's experiences I know that it's pretty much from childhood that you're sure. This is where the support group comes in. You need supportive friends who will love you for who you are, no matter what your exterior is.

I'm not sure exactly how you would go about things in the best manner possible, but I would say that finding a good, experienced, open-minded counselor is the most important part. They'll be able to guide you in all the minutiae.

Absolutely!

The only thing you can do in a case like this is be the better person.

Sure, she wants to be petty and childish. You can do better than that, though!

You may not be able to change how this girl thinks, but you can make other people think differently of you depending on how you work with this situation.

Just keep being civil (not necessarily nice) and don't let yourself get riled up by her being dumb. Others will think better of you than of her for it :)

Wow. I think I have a bit of a different opinion on this than everyone else.

Honestly, I thought it was just common courtesy to let people into a locked room! If you looked at her, then left her standing in the hall, that would be pretty nasty in my books. If I were her, that would be really embarrassing! I don't care if she's always late, it's 30 seconds out of your day and it's just a polite thing to do. Then again, I'm Canadian, and we're known for being overly polite :P

What you did was pretty rude, and I think you should apologize to her. Maybe you don't think you're in the wrong, but she clearly does. If you just go up to her and say something like "Hey, I know you don't exactly like me, and I think it's because of that time I didn't let you in. Just wanted you to know that I was in a bad mood that day and I just really didn't want to get up to let you in because you were late. It was really rude of me, and I'm sorry." she won't have anything to hate you for. It shows that you've got the stones to admit you were wrong, and that you aren't a horrible person.

I don't think she has anger issues. I think you're just refusing to see things from her point of view. Personally, if someone did that to me, I'd have a bit of a thing against them too!

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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