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Should i stay or leave?
I'm 18 years old and a girl. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half. We dont really fight much but when we do its usually about his family. They dont like me at all. Which i think its fine doesnt bother but what i dont like is that they want me to respect them when their constantly saying things about me and mean things to me. His older brother who's 23 calls me immature and tells me i need to grow up. He's always making fun of me and once he even said he's gonna burn his clothes because he touched me. if that isnt bad enough my boyfriends sister hates me too now i called someone a jerk and she thought i meant her brother and now is giving a bunch of crap when it didnt even deal with their family.
I'm tired of all theses things and i really dont know if i should break up with my boyfriend or just tell his siblings to butt out of it? Anybody got advice for me??
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I wouldn't leave your boyfriend over this. Sit him down and talk to him. The other person is right, it is his place to say something. He needs to show that he cares what they say about you. It is rude on their parts, and they should know better. Even if he says something like "I am happy with her, and you guys need to deal with it", that would help. They just need to respect you. I do think you need to have some sort of respect for them--and given the circumstances, I understand why you don't. I'm curious as to why they don't like you. Did you do something? Maybe you did something that you didn't realize upset them. --I am not trying to put the blame on you, because them treating you this way is wrong. I think you should tell your boyfriend that you don't want to leave him, but you can't deal with this stuff anymore. Say that he needs to say something. And if he refuses, tell him that you are not sure that you can deal with it anymore. It is hard to constantly be around that negative energy.
If you did want to say something to his siblings, simply sit them down and just talk to them. Just be like, can we start over. If they say no, then say that you would rather avoid each other. Where you are not talking about each other, and you try not to interact with them unless you have too.
How are the parents to you? Do they see this, and say something? Or, do they agree with the feeling of hatred towards you?
If in a while, nothing changes then you should seriously consider if you want to be around this behavior. You diserve a boyfriend who can stick up to people for you.
Hope I helped
and if you need anymore help, feel free to leave a question in my inbox!
-E
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if i were you i a was going to leave because how can they tell you to respect them when they are talking bullshit behind your back
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It's not your place to tell his siblings what to do. It's his.
I had a ton of problems with my fiance's twin brother for a few years after we started dating. He felt like I was replacing him, and kept getting in between my fiance and I. I was always second place, because the two of them were really close growing up.
Here's what I did to get out of that mess:
Talk to your guy. Tell him how you feel about his relatives. Let him know that you're considering breaking up with him because you can't deal with the family issues. Give him examples (if he hasn't seen this behavior) and tell him he needs to either do something about it or you will end things.
He has to talk to his siblings (not you!) about how they treat you. He needs to tell them that whether they like you or not, you are his choice, and that they need to grow up and accept you, because you're going to be around for quite a while.
He may be reluctant to do this because it can cause family arguments. At this point, though, something needs to be done or it'll only get worse, and can cause really big issues a few years down the road.
In the meantime, be as squeaky clean as you can around them. Don't do anything that could possibly be misinterpreted by them. Be as polite, nice and helpful as you can.
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I hope you boyfriend is sticking up for you. If he isnt you need to leave. You think its bad now...what if you get married, or have childeren. you need to think of the future.
its not fair to you to be treated like this. something has to give and it cant be you all the time.
<3
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