about

Many of my friends say that I am a good listener and advice giver. Because I have experienced many good and bad situations, I know what it is like to feel down or confused. I am a mother, daughter, sister, girl friend, and friend. And if I can't figure out how to answer a question, I'm sure I know someone who can. And I've come to notice that most of the questions people ask they already know the answer to, they just need a little reassurance. But I will warn you that my policy is, if you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. But i will say that it is my joy to help anyone with a real problem, so ask away!




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advice

I am twenty one years old and have been married for over a year. My husband and I recently discovered that we are pregnant. Though it wasnt planned, we are both very excited and happy about it. So is everyone else... my friends, my family, even my mom. Everyone, except for my father.

When I told him the news, he was completely shocked, which I could understand. I called a few days ago to see how he's doing, and he said some very mean things that made me pretty upset. I dont understand this reaction, because he also got married and started a family at a young age.
Its been about two weeks since we broke the news to him, and he just seems to be sad and disappointed in me.

I just want my dad to accept this and to be happy for us, but at the same time I dont understand why I am so strongly seeking his approval.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Maybe your Dad is scared for you, and he is expressing hisself in an angry way, because he doesn't know how else to react. I don't see why he would be upset though, because you are married. Its not like you are young, and are pregnant by some dead beat. You shouldn't feel bad about how he is acting. And don't let it upset you, because it is not good for your baby. Eventually your Dad will come around, in the mean time, enduldge in the people who are happy for you and be happy for yourself. It is very important to stay in a good emotional state these next months. Good Luck!

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Hey, I've been using tampons for a little while now and it's kind of weird! Are you supposed to feel a little uncomfortable wearing them if there still new to you? Do you think they feel that way because it's not up far enough or something? I know I put it in right, but I still feel a little discomfort when there in! What's wrong?

If you say you are putting them in right, then they probably just still need a little more getting used to, otherwise they are not in far enough, because you really aren't supposed to feel them. Also, sometimes you feel them when you use too high of an absorbancy, or when they are too fully absorbed.

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ok well my bf was at school for most of summer and i missed him a lot but after spending a lot of time with him before he left, i kind of don't like him as much as i used to. i mean i don't not like him enough to break up with him but yeah.i still love him. i like never see him too, i see him like maybe every 2 weeks and it's been like this for awhile and i don't really think there's anything we can do about that. i also feel really bad because when i was at a camp for a week, i cheated on him really bad and i'm just really confused. should i tell him i cheated on him?

If you cheated on him, then maybe you 2 do need a break. I think you should tell him you cheated, because honesty is a very important part of a relationship. Maybe because you are seeing him less and less and other people more and more, you are losing interest in him. If it keeps going this way, you are probably not going to last anyway.

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my boyfriend's parents don't know we're going out and they're starting to find out and acting really suspicious ever since i went over his house today. we both dont know what to do... if he tells themhe the truth we'll probly have to break up... if he lies then his conscience will get the best of him. please help me. im in tears already.

You will have to tell them then. And if they can't deal with it, then oh well. They really can't make you guys break up, even if they tried, you will try to see eahother anyway. So just relax.

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im a sophmore in high school but i moved and im starting a new school and i dont know ANYONE!!!! im sooooooooo nervous....i was jw if anyone had 2 do this?!?!

I must have went to like 10 different schools during my entire school career. I went to like 4 different high schools. Everytime, i had to start at a new school, I felt the same way. i was so nervous. the trick is you just have to be yourself. trust me, you will meet atleast 1 person in one of your classes and relate to them. Also, people will probbaly approach you or be interested in you, because you will the "new kid". This is good, because you will be able to meet different people, and based on the personalities you like, do that process of elimination thing and make some friends. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

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Hey im 14 do you think its wrong for me to date someone 10 years old?

It does sound strange. I don't many 14 year olds who share the same things in common with 10 year olds. A 14 year old is like in 8th grade or getting ready to enter high school or something like that. 10 year olds are still children in like 5th grade. But, if you really like the kid and think things will work, then go for it.

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I'm starting back at school and need to pick up some lip gloss. Can you think of any good brands of light pink lip gloss?

There is a couple of cute pinks by lipsations. Also, try ordering some from Avon, they have alot of lip glosses and in cute shades of pink. I get alot of my make up from Avon.

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what should i do should i stop bein friends with her cause me and her haven't been good friends since i moved 3 yrs ago and we been friends for 10 yrs. she blows me off when we are on the computer ever since she had her boyfriend.
what should i do.

lost friend in clarks

This happens alot. The thing that sucks about it, is there is really nothing you can do about it. You can try to talk to her about how you feel and how you feel shes been acting, but chances are she will over react and start an argument. I know that it is really messed up how good friends grow away from eachother after so long, especially when they get new boyfriends. All you can do is hope she will understand you when you talk to her, otherwise, you will just have to deal with things. It will be hard, but it is what you will have to do.

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hey, i like this boy named kyle at school and ive liked him for a couple monthes now, ive told him that i like him. my friends have talked to him and he says "its possible" that he likes me. hes VERY shy and sooo sweet. ive never liked someone this long before and i really want to be with him. i just dont want to ask him out and give me the answer thats not true because hes too shy. in september his heart was broken by another girl, and id promise to never break his heart. he's one of those boys thats kinda hard to tell what they're thinking so im stuck in the middle. he's not the most popular person, and he trusts me with a lot and we're already really great friends... what's your advice?

I think this kid already knows how you feel. All you need to do is reinforce. Let him know you like him, you think he is a great guy and that you 2 would go good together. And then just see what he says. If he is not ready, then you will still have a great friend. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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If a person is 14, do u think their 2 young 2 have sex?

I think it is too young, but technically it is not based on age. It is based on maturity. If you feel you are old enough and responcilbe enough to deal with the complications that may come along with sex, like pregnancy and STDs than you may be ready. But I doubt any 14 year old is ready for any of that stuff. Also, if you do decide, remember to use protection! Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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im 13 and a girl and i want to do alot of things like make out with guys and maybe in a year or so have sex with a guy. but 1. im scared im a bad kisser. 2. i dont wanna get pregnant and 3. i havent found the right guy to do any thing with...what should i do?

First of all you are too young to be having sex, even a year from now. Also, I see it this way, if you don't want to poop: you don't eat, if you don't want to get pregnant: you don't eat. Yes there are birth control and condoms, and they can be pretty affective, but abstinence avoids all of that stuff completely. But it is normal for a girl your age to want to kiss boys. You just have to be confident. Guys like confidence. Try not to think about what you are doing and just do it. After you kiss a guy once, trust me it will become easier and easier to do it again. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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If you gave a guy head and he might have HIV..could you get them too?

Yes, so if this question is about you or your friend, go get checked out. And make sure you let the doctor you may have gotten something from performing oral sex.

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what do i do about a controlling boyfriend? my boyfriend is allowed to mess around and talk to girls but im not allowed to talk to guys! i found this so unfair and everyone thinks he has total control over me because when we break up, and he asks me back out, i always say yes. is it because i'm weak or i'm just under his little 'spell'?

Okay, well 1st of all what do you mean you are "not allowed". YOU are allowed to do whatever you want, your boyfriend, is just what he is, YOUR BOYFRIEND, not your parent, not your master, not an authority. You can not let any man control. Once they know they can they take advantage. Maybe it is good to not mess around with other guys becuase it is respectful towards your boyfriend, but you don't have to do jack, just because he says so. And he should be a little more respectful and not mess around with other girls either. If you think you're weak, then you need to stopp it, if he breaks up with you, do not take him back. Leave him alone. As a matter a fact, I would kick him to curb right now. A man who controls you is no good. Move on and find someone who respects and doesn't treat you like his dog. And don't ever let a man control you, or anyone for that matter. You make your decisions. No one else. Good Luck! :)

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Ok, Well, my boyfriend is 19 years old and he*s in the military..I*m still in highschool..we write letters to each other often and i think about him every single day, but most of my friends say that i should break up with him, I really love him, but he's going to be gone so long! I have 2 years left of highschool, and if I stay with him that means i have to be faithful for 2 years! I dunno what i should do...

I hope you can help..xox

If you really love him, the you will be able to do it. But if you are doubting yourself, and you don't think you canhold out that long, then you're gonna have to let him know. Try to work something out about seeing other people or something while he is away, and maybe getting back on foot when he comes home. I'm not saying he will like this, but if you really feel like you can't wait that long then you have to tell him.

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i was in two carwrecks with my mom. i am now in a
wheelchair. i go to the doctor alot so i miss school alot. but i still have a 3.5 . anyways,
i can't go and be in sports anymore and i can't ride the rides at the fair and i can't do all of the stuff i used to. is it wrong for me to cry when all of that stuff gets to me? am i just being selfish and a cry baby? if you could please help. signed,
feelin blu

of course you are not just being a cry baby. You are incable of doing the things that you used to that you love. There is nothing wrong with crying when you think back on them sometimes. but you do have to learn to accept how you condition has made your lifestyle, and begin to realize all the good things you still have. Appreciate the fact that you are still alive. But I am sure that rehab will help you understand and get through life better. Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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Well I know this is kinda sick and all but im gonna ask neways..when I shave down there its gets all red like a rash and then sometimes it bleed and i really dont know what to do..

Okay, well don't do it so often first of all. Only do it when they get long. And use a shaving cream that is for sensitive skin, because, you know it is sensitive down there. And sometimes it is better to use a razor that is a little. Like use it to shave your legs 1st, that way it is not so sharp, and then clean it and use it for there. Sometimes when you use a brand new razor it is really easy to cut yourself. After you are done shaving, rince yourself off with cool water, and don't put anything like after shave or lotion or even soap immediately afterwards, because it will irritate it. Hope I helped. :)

((please rate me and feel free to aks me for advice anytime))

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i really like this guy he is 3 years older than me i dont like him but i do..i cant help it. iv liked him for such a long time and ik that im not good enough for him and everything. i hate myself..my best freind and twin sister are boith so skinny and i am not. my friend tells me i am wicked pretty but i dont think so. nothing ever goes right for me. so i started cutting..and i am addicted to it. if anything goes wrong i cut. my friend knows and she tries to help me. i dont eat alot any more either..im trying to lose weight. so every night i feel sick and i always get headachs. i dont want to see a shrink..i alredy have before and she didnt help at all. im hoping this phase will pass but i just dont kno what to do about it..help me.

First of all you have to stop putting yourself down! Thats what has you going on this depression route. And guys don't find girls with low self esteem or confidence very attractive eitther. A guy doesn't want a girl who mopes around feeling bad about herself. What you need to do is go out and spend some time doing good things for yourself. Maybe go out with your friend, the girl who thinks you are pretty, or someone who makes you feel good about yourself, and have a girls day out. Go shopping, give eachother facials, manicures, pedicures, all that fun girly stuff. Sometimes when a person does stuff with their appearance it makes them feel better about themselves and makes them remember how beautiful they really are. I think you just need some self-esteem boosting. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to aks me for advice anytime))

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What would you do if things in your life were always downhill and uphill like big time. I have delt with it all...family in jail family getting divorced rape drugs sex everything in the book ive been through it, and im 14! Ok so I have always had trouble getting through anything and I always feel that i need an adult to talk to..but theres no way i could talk to my mom. So i have 3 people who have helped me in the past. One was my moms friend, one was a teacher and currentley one is my cousin and godmother. Yeah well it seems that everything just got better. Good right? No wrong becuase now shes moving away to south carolina and i live in michigan. I am afraid that everything is going to go back downhill. I have recentley decided to keep my life up and look at the good side of things and take control of what i can. But now i fear i will slip back and go into a deep depression once again. I dont kno what to do im confused..someone please help me.

Okay, well I'm sure you have someone else in your life who you can rely on. And you can alos still probably be able to call her. And also try and help yourself sometimes. Whenever yuo are in a jam, stop and tell yourself, okay you have been stuck in stuff like this before, what would "she" tell me or what would I have done before? And if all else fails, you can feel free to drop a note in my inbox anytime. I would be happy to be there for you and help you out with any problems you may be having. I too have been through alot. Well I hope I was helpful and Good Luck! :)

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I had it good for a while. I guess most of us dont realize when to appreciate what you have. I had it so good id do just anything to back on the past. But lets forget me... my sister used to be average wieght.. NOT fat at all just not as skinny as everyone else. I used to call her fat tho just in spite of her when i wanted something and she wouldnt give me something or if we were fighting. I regret that in every way shape or form. PLEASE if you've been calling some1 fat dont do it, you will hospitilize some1 no joke it gets to people. So anyway shes been away at camp for 5 weeks.. and shes not the same. She wont let herself touch a hamburger, or anything besides salad and yogurts and rice cakes and such. She wont let herself have even a rootbeer float.. its so wierd. But worst of all shes not anything like she used to be. She used to be happy. Shes really homesick right now and she admits when she comes back shes going to need therapy because she even KNOWS that her lifestyles are messed up. Its not that she doesnt want to eat all those foods she CANT. She always feels so compared her whole life she has and now im fearing for her and wishing things were back to normal. Nothing has ever been this screwed up in my life i have never been asked to handle this 1nce before in my life and now its my own sister... and i just dont know what to do. Its like no1 cares... my aunt only has mean things to say like shes starving herself and she yells at my sister. Yelling wont help her any! My mom understands and so does my dad and they care but it hurts to see them so worried. I cant take it! This could all be my fault.. i should have never called her names.... what do i do to keep myself from getting overly sick at myself. Im not about to go anerexic or cut myself or anything lame like that im too full of life and i could never stoop down to that level but i always feel like i just want to stay in bed all day. I want my life to be normal, but i cant have that...


for a person thats going to be sensitive to my feelings... *PLEASE* answer asap

and 2 the rest of u.. never say anything you could regret


XoxOO-

All I can say you should do is try and make up for the mean things you said by doing you best to be nice. When your sister gets home, comfort her. Tell her you are so so so sorry for all those years you teased her, and you never meant to make her feel this way, had you known you would have never done it. Tell her you will be there for her and help her with whatever she needs becasue thats what sisters are for. Let her know you will be there for her. I'm sure that once you can see yourself making her feel better you will feel alot better. And you can't go blaming yourself forever or you will be right where she is. So just get up out of that bed and start helping. Hope O helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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ok so ive liked this kid for a really long time he liked me too but he didnt want to go out. then one day he invited to his house to hang out and "do stuff" and i couldnt go that day so i went 2 days later. we did and i had fun things were going good then the other night i was talking to him and he told me that he had a gf the day we met. he said he didnt when he first invited me...but got one in the 2 days i didnt c him. it really hurt and i dont kno what to do..i like him alot but i hate him at the same time. please help me. he said he was going to change before but he never did and i jus need advice..

Chances are if he played his last girl. He will play you. I'm not saying that guys don't change. But he obviously wasn't liking you that much to have went and got a girl in the 2 days you didn't come. And if he thought that you would think that was okay, then he probably doesn't thik to highly of you neither. I think reguardless of how you feel for him, you have to push those feelings aside and move on. Find a guy who will treat you with soem respect, because thats what you deserve and you shouldn't settle for anything less. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime))

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