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Dad isnt ready to be a Grandfather
I am twenty one years old and have been married for over a year. My husband and I recently discovered that we are pregnant. Though it wasnt planned, we are both very excited and happy about it. So is everyone else... my friends, my family, even my mom. Everyone, except for my father.
When I told him the news, he was completely shocked, which I could understand. I called a few days ago to see how he's doing, and he said some very mean things that made me pretty upset. I dont understand this reaction, because he also got married and started a family at a young age.
Its been about two weeks since we broke the news to him, and he just seems to be sad and disappointed in me.
I just want my dad to accept this and to be happy for us, but at the same time I dont understand why I am so strongly seeking his approval.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Mabey is worried that you will have your own family now, and you will be a mommy and not a little girl. Or he could be scared for you, cause little babies are big work (and expensive!). But he should be happy for you and your husband! Also he should be proud, cuz now a days there are so many fatherless, children, with unmarried parents in there teen years, and he should be happy you aren't one of them! Well, CONGRATS!!!!!!! Hope everything goes well!
<3~*~Natalie~*~<3
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Maybe your Dad is scared for you, and he is expressing hisself in an angry way, because he doesn't know how else to react. I don't see why he would be upset though, because you are married. Its not like you are young, and are pregnant by some dead beat. You shouldn't feel bad about how he is acting. And don't let it upset you, because it is not good for your baby. Eventually your Dad will come around, in the mean time, enduldge in the people who are happy for you and be happy for yourself. It is very important to stay in a good emotional state these next months. Good Luck!
((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice))
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I think that your Dad is being immature because he should be happy for you, you are his daughter and you are about to have a baby of your own and I think that he should get overhimself and be happy for you
Congratulations!
Hope I Helped
XOXO
Haleigh Ann
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I think your dad is being really immature about all of this. First of all, you are married and the best time to have kids is when you are married. He should appreciate the fact that this didn't happen to you when you were 15 or something like that. If i were you, i'd call him back up on the phone again and say something like "I don't understand why you are so upset about all of this when I'm a grown MARRIED woman!?" you should ask him why he's so upset about all of this too. Maybe once you 2 get to talking you'll find a lot of things out about each other. Good luck with all of this, and CONGRATULATIONS!:-D
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It's totally understandable that you'd want both your parents approval. I made my parents go to dinner with my guy and I so my dad could get to know him.
I suggest you sit down and talk to him about the fact that you really want his approval, and you're not sure why he doesn't approve in the first place.
It could also really be a father thing - his little girl is really growing up. I mean, you're having a baby! It must be hard for him to grasp.
Give him time - he'll come around.
Fathers always take more time, I hear.
I hope I helped!
-Siren =)
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I think your dad might be afraid of either you growing up or him getting old. He should be happy! I can see him being mad if you werent married or something but he is just being irrational. You really dont need his approval. Im sure he will come around and like being a Grandpa eventually.
Good luck with the baby!
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I think he will be in time. There are a few things that might be causing this unaccepting towards the situation thing. One, he might be insecure about himself. He's getting up in the age and realizing that he has a grandchild on the way just might not being helping him cope with it. Therfore, hes' going to show remorse and anger for it, not becuase of you, but because of him. Another thing, you said he started a family young, maybe there's things about your family's past that you might not know about.. like, whenver you where born maybe it was a major struggle to get on their feet and he doesn't want to see it happen to you. The best thing you can do is talk to him, ask him what part about it you don't like. You're an adult, married, so you can make your own desisions. If you talk to him maybe ask him what's the source of why he's not up for it, ask him a few questions, if he still doesn't come around, or it just ends up in another fight, the I'd back off until he accepted it. He's your father so he can't stay like that forever, and I'm sure your family won't allow him to either. I hope things work out for you, congratulations on your expectations I'm sure you'll be great parents, and I'm sure your dad will come around eventually, once he can learn to deal with what's going on with himself. (Or whatever the source may be)
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i can understand where both of you are coming from. your dad isnt used to this, hes seen youve gotten older and more mature, and he needs time to adjust. i think you should sit down with your dad, and explain how you are feeling. tell him you are up to having a family, and youd like his support. but dont forget to say u understand, and that together if u both try you can make things work out. u r seeking your dads approval becuz you love him, and you want him to feel happy and overwhelmed when someone that close to you doesnt feel the same way, you could feel guilty, or start to believe some of the things he said to you, which i am sure came from being afraid of seeing you and himself take on the responsibility. good luck with this all and congragulations! <3 kelly
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You're strongly seeking his approval because he is your father and you love him. He feels his daughter is too young to be having a child,even though you are married. He still views you as his little baby. At least your child will have a father figure in its life and you are married. He will eventually get over it. He also may view this as a sign that he's getting old. I mean he is going to be GRANDfather. A lot of men,my father included,are terrified of getting old.
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congratz on the new baby I hope everything goes alright. But with your dad he still sees you as his little girl and even if you have been married for a year he can't bear the thought that his little girl is having sex. Do you get what I'm saying even though your 20 and married he can't come to the realization that you've grown up. The reason you want his approval so badly is because you love him and probably pretty close to him. I hope this helped and please rate me!
* Erin *
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*well first of all .. congratz!!! and second im really sorry to here that about ur dad but mayb he is upset bcz u r all grown up or mayb he wanted u to wait a lil longer*well mayb what u can do is try talkin to ur dad or send him a letter if u dont feel confortable to speak to him and tell him how u feel and how u want him to feel or how u expected him to feel when he sees ur baby i bet u he is gonna b happy for u!!
<3alwayz,Gg
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I think the reason you strongly seek his approval is because you love him. You realize that you did nothing wrong, and you strongly wish your father could view it the same way. As for your father's odd reaction, maybe he just remember's how hard it is to raise a family at a young age. He's probably more disappointed in himself because he may feel that he should have prepared you better. I, personally, don't see having a child at your age a bad thing, it's just harder. Juggling school or work with taking care of the child can be maddening. He'll probably come around soon. This is just my view, everyone's is different. I hoped I helped in showing you someone elses. If not, I hope I didn't do more damage.
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Your probably seeking his approval because you've probably always had his approval and you don't want it to change. You should ask him how his parents felt when they found out he was having a baby at a young age. That might make him look in your point of view a little bit.
Any other questions you can just ask me. Good Luck!
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First off, you are seeking your fathers approval because you love him and you want him to support you. That is very normal and there's nothing wrong with wanting his approval. But, at the same time, you dont need your fathers approval. Chances are, he is probably just a little scared because his little girl is starting a family of her own. He may have said some things that hurt you, but remember, these things he said may just be out of fear. He probably doesn't mean any of it. My dad freaks out whenever I bring a guy home, but he gets over it as soon as he gets to know them better. It will be the same way with your baby. Once your baby is born, your father will fall in love with having a grandchild and he will think differently. Just watch.
Hope I helped.
<3 Amber
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Well it seems to me that ur dad may be afraid to lose u. U may be 21 years old but he does love u with all his heart im sure and hes just afraid he wont see u very much when ur baby is born as much as he used to see u. Maybe u could talk to ur mom and maybe she could convince him to be happy for u. He shouldnt be angry because ur an adult now and u can do whatever u want. Hope i helped
~*~kendal~*~
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