about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

i had alot of pimples to begin with, and then i used proactiv and they went away. um, well now, i used up almost all the stuff and so i don't use it as often as i use to and i don't use as much.. because the bottle is pretty much empty, so i smack it and get as much as i can every night.. well anyway, it seems that the amount i use isn't enough, because my pimples are coming back. i have alot of them, and they make me look like crap. does anyone having any suggestions for me to get rid of those pimples um.. as soon as possible? because i have to go somewhere and i want to look um... pretty.. hehh.. if you could suggest something that works as good as proactiv but isn't as expensive, that'd be nice too.. thank you very much!

Try keeping your face clean with a good quality cleanser. Clean and clear is a good bet. Buy a cream for your pimples that contains salycilic acid. This helps break down the pimples.

Hope this helps.

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okay, ive known this guy for about nine years and weve been best friends and never got into one fight. People saiid that WE WERE LIKE cory and tapanga or that we would end uplike that but then one day i told 2 b people who he liked and he got real pissed at me and never forgave me and said go to hell but the thing was that i told like a million times how sorry i was and i rele like love this kid and then he put it on his pro and even told the girl he liked that he liked her and that got me mad.Then he even went out with her and still wouldnt forgive me. Then at my friends bat mitzva, he slow danced with me and said sorry but he still hate. All my friends tell me to get over him but i can b.c now al my friends love him and i rele miss him as a friend and its hard to forget everything we.ve be through together and idk wat to do pleze help!!

From julias friend ali!

Tell your friend that you miss his friendship. Do not bring love into it. Obviously when he told you who he liked, he expected it to stay between the two of you. He feels like you've betrayed his confidence. If you do get his friendship back, make sure to keep what's said between the two of you private unless he says otherwise.

Good luck.

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Okay, im really like overwhelmed. Like 5 guys always iM me and are like would u fuck me? and, there really nice people but like to joke around with me, and they say there jus messin with me. but its hard bc all the guys are all really hott. but it gets really annoying bc now i dont know who to trust. ive been in relationships where ive been cheated on, and theres rumours going around about me having sex with diff people. one of my guy friends said he heard im "loose " an that it seems like i have sex alot which isnt the case at all. i jus feel like giving up on guys all together and jus...be lonely the rest of my life.....any advice on what to do?

First of all if the guys are asking "wanna fuck?" it's unlikely they're looking for a relationship. Since one of your guy friend has told you about he rumor around town, it's likely these guys have heard it too and want in your pants.

Don't give up on guys. Not all guys are like that. Take your time before getting into another relationship and don't have sex. A guy that truly cares about you will not care about the sex. If he tries to change your mind, dump him. He's looking for sex, not a woman.

Enjoy being single for a while and take your time before entering into dating again. Just when you give up on love, that's usually when true love comes along.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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everything is starting to go wrong today two guys played me without me even noticing i feel so awful and depressed its been a few months since my last boyfriend and i really thought it would work out with the first guy i thought he would never hurt me then there was another girl and all the shit he told me i actually fell for it
then with the other guy i was falling for him hes interested in me and everything but now hes saying he has a gf i dont understand this shit
and when i think about it i have no intentions of going out with the second guy
please help me

All women (and usually men too) get played at least once in their lives. I know it hurts, but take it as a learning experience. You now know that even if he seems good, it's usually a good idea to hold off on getting attached until you're sure.

Not all guys are like that. Take your time. Let your heart heal. Don't be in such a hurry to fall in love. When the right one comes along, the wait will be worth it and he'll make you feel like the only woman in the world. I dated a series of Mr. Wrongs before giving myself up to being single. I enjoyed the time I spent with my friends, the freedom of not being accountable to anyone, and went out on several dates just for fun. My Mr. Right finally came along when I wasn't even looking.

Don't feel bad or get depressed. You are not the bad person here. One of these days these guys will realize that they missed out on a wonderful woman simply because they were being jerks.

Enjoy being single and not having to worry about a boyfriend getting jealous when you go out with your friends. The best revenge on guys like that is to let them see that you don't need them to be happy.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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Alright, so, as it's probably helpful to know a little info about me, I'm 16, female. And I'm in love, I know it, I can feel it's true just as surely as I know that 2 x 2 = 4. I find myself having a whole new perspective, a whole new outlook, on life. I realize that whatever happens, it's going to be alright, because I'll have someone there by my side who I can trust with anyone, and we can be there for eachother through whatever happens. (btw, Thanks to anyone who answered my previous question, the answers have helped me realize that going to seperate colleges, while tough, is something we can handle.) Now, I know he loves me, and he talks as though whatever happens, we'll always be there for eachother, but am I doing the right thing? I mean, there doesn't seem to be a doubt in my mind about this, or him, or whether this is the real deal. But I feel like I should just step back and take one more look, I mean, I'm 16, and this isn't something that usually happens at this age. Any thoughts?

You're showing incredible maturity for your age. Whether you're 16 or 60, it's always a good idea to take a step back every now and then and make sure that you're doing the right thing.

If you're both happy with your relationship, then let things continue as they are. Use this time to strengthen your relationship. A problem I see often is couples that have been dating a month before getting separated and then they wonder why it doesn't work.

Good luck with your relationship.

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well I was going with this guy and i had stayed after school and I had told my parents that I was staying for tutoring but I was really staying with him we made out but then all of a sudden he grabbed my hand stuck it in his pants I told him I didn't want to but then he let my hand go and then you know what happend I gave him a hand job I felt really bad I stil do cause you know I have parents what should I do

You should never do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If it happens again, tell the guy that you're not comfortable doing it. If he really cares about you, he'll wait until you're ready for that. If he pushes the issue, talk to your parents, a teacher, or some other trusted adult. No one should be forced into something they're not ready for.

Good luck.

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Okay, I really want to start using ebay, not to sell things, but to buy things..I`m only 15 years old...so I don`t have my own credit card..I would pay for it ..I just need to use a credit card. The thing is My mom has said she doesn't like buying things online because she doesnt like giving out her credit card number out..I need some advice on how to convice her to let me use ebay. I would pay for everything, I just need her credit card to use..So how can i convince her To let me use Ebay?

Ok first off, it's unlikely your mom will change her mind about letting you use her credit card. A better option would be signing up for a paypal account (www.paypal.com), asking the seller if they accept cash (usually not a good idea to send cash through the mail since not everyone is as nice as you and me), give your mom the money and have her write you a check, or get a money order.

If you do decide to buy something, check the seller's rating and feedback first. If they have a low rating or lots of bad feedback, it's unlikely you'll be pleased with your buy.

Good luck.

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I have a keyboard and I wanted to start playing it. Can anyone tell me what the keys are for it? Like what each key is so i can look up tabs and stuff? THANKS! Ill rate.

Playing keyboard and piano are wonderful. I started lessons when I was 5 but had to quit at 8 because we moved. However since my mom also played piano, I asked her to help me. If you can afford it, piano lessons are a great way to get a start. They teach you the basic notes, how to read music, correct hand posture, etc. Check your local phone book or ask someone you know that plays if they would consider giving you lessons.

Try these sites for wonderful information on piano. The second site provides free piano lessons online.

http://pianoeducation.org/
http://www.gopiano.com/
http://www.funbrain.com/funbrain/notes/
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Marble/9607/keyboard.htm

Make sure to practice daily and take it slow so you remember what you've learned.

I hope these help. Good luck with your music.

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I'm petrified of the dentist and I have an appointment tomorrow. Im getting a tooth filled. Ive always been scared, but I always end up walking out saying that wasnt so bad. I realize that the only pain I will feel is the novacaine needle. Is there a way I can be less scared? I know the fear is worse than the actual procedure but Im still terrified.

First of all, figure out why the visit to the dentist scares you so much. Is it because you don't know what's going to happen? Ask your dentist when he makes the appointment to explain the procedure to you. You can also ask your parents what to expect or look it up online. Are you scared of the pain? Try a different option such as laughing gas. Do you simply not feel comfortable with your dentist? Try changing dentists. No one dentist is right for everyone.

Hope this helps. Good luck with your appointment.

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Hey Everyone. Well i went to someone with this same question on a different site.. but i wanted to see what others thought too.Um before i start..My name is Katie,im a girl lol, & im 14. Okay, well..My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over a year now. Well i have a friend we used to be like best friends, but kinda grew apart. Somewhere along the way.. my friend lets say her name isssss..um..Jane.Anyway like i was saying, somewhere along the way Jane & my boyfriend started being "best friends". Well he calls her everyday & stuff. It sorta makes me feel bad. Now i duno whats the real story behind this.. but ive asked them before if they had a little more something going on.. but they both said no. i wana believe them.. i really do. But for some reason i have a little bit of doubt.And once i even heard he asked her out when we broke up but of course we got back together. I feel like a jealous girlfriend. Am i over-reacting? Soo what do you guys think.. do they like each other & if you think so..what should i do?? im so confused.PLEASE HELP!Thanks so much!!!

You have to follow your heart on this one. Since you find it hard to believe them when they say nothing is going on, it's possible there is something going on.

Tell your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable that he's talking to another guy daily. Tell your friend that you'd prefer she not talk to your boyfriend so much. If he truly cares about you and your friend is a true friend, they will either stop the daily calls or include you in their conversations. If they keep it up after you talk to them, I would consider finding a new friend and a new boyfriend since they obviously don't care how you feel.

On a side note, sometimes it's good for your friends and boyfriend to be friends. One of my best friends talked to my boyfriend often and even got us back together once when we split up. It was nice since they both cared about me and if there was a problem in my relationship, my boyfriend and I could both go to this friend for advice.

Good luck.

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ok a few days ago my boyfriend was messing around down there, and he asked what these weird, almost square-like things are inside the hole. i never noticed before, but do you know what i'm talking about? kinda like ridges, but yea. i was just wondering if that's normal; i don't really know why it wouldn't be, but just incase. thanx!

The vagina is a muscle and like all muscles, it has ridges. It's completely natural so put your fears to rest.

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i really want a dog. but we're renting a house and the rules are you can only have one pet. and we already have a cat. i really want a dog but i love my cat and i dont want to give him up. what should i do?

I know how you feel. The place I live in allows no pets and I had to leave my cats with my parents. Try volunteering at the local animal shelter. Many times shelters are severely understaffed so they don't have time to play with the animals. You volunteering will be a big help. Start a dog walking service. You can make money while you're enjoying being around dogs. Keep an eye on the newspaper for rentals that allow pets then show your parents if you find one.

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ok... so my friend doesn't want me to go out with this guy. shes gone out with him and so have i. but i really do like him. she says that hes an ass hole. but i dont think so. she said that he is only nice until he has you as his gf. and then he will ignore you. she told me that if i went out with him she wouldn't talk to me for a long time. he doesn't live here, he lives in another town. she says that he will cheat on me if i go out with him. im worried that he might. part of me wants to go out with him but part of me doesn't at the same time. he has told me that he likes me and i told him i like him to but he hasn't asked me out. does he really like me? should i go out with him and lose my friend?

Since your friend has been there, you might want to listen to her. To keep from ending your friendship, it's usually best to not date a guy your friend has dated before. and vice versa.

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i know romance novels like Barbara Cartland and Jude Devereaux and Nora Roberts are crappy...then why do they get published? How do they actually get it approved?!

Have you ever actually read one of their books? While romances aren't for some people, there are many women and men that enjoy them. Try one so you can see for yourself if it's really crappy.

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Ok, I have this problem, I am WAY TOO NICE to my family. I give them advice, (after all, I do have an advice coulumn here)I'm supportive of them, and all they do is take advantage of me, then they ditch me. For example, my cousin has a weight issue, and I help her, and even doctors say my advice was good. She agrees, at the doctors office. She totally ignores me outside of it. When I bring it up she's always like "I have better things to do then talk to you" and on the phone I constantly have to call her name because she doesn't listen to me, and that's just 1 example. They ridicule me one minute, ditch me another minute, then ask me for advice like they are my best friend. What do I do? I turned to masturbation and porno as a getaway- masturbating while watching porno, but more masturbation then porno. Worst thing is that I'm a strong Christian, and their semi athiest ways are rubbing off on me.Help me! And don't tell me to talk to them and stuff, because I've done this in a civilized manner 1000 times, and everyone in my family is stubborn because they think I'm lying all the time because I'm the youngest,and I should suck it up and forget what they say. Help me plz, srry that its so long though.

Next time they come to you for advice, ask them why they ask if they're not going to listen to it. Hold strong to your beliefs and don't let anyone change you.

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I am SOOOOO Fat i am 5'12 and 250 pounds what are some ways of losing weight fast?

Losing weight too fast is not healthy for you. Try reducing your calories by 500 a day and you'll lose a pound a week. Add some exercise, in moderation, and you can take off another pound.

Take a look at these sites for more information on healthy weight loss.

http://www.advancedweightloss2.homestead.com/
http://www.fatlosstips.com/
http://www.freeweightloss.com/
http://www.weightlossforall.com/weight-loss-tips.htm

Hope these help. Good luck in your diet.

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does anyone know the zip code for laguna beach california?

It has 9 different zip codes. 92607, 92637, 92651, 92652, 92653, 92654, 92656, 92677, 92698

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i generally have my period every 27 days for about eight days. last time i only had it for 6 days and its been over 30 days and im still not getting it! what should i do? (im fourteen)

Sometimes your period can go off for various reasons. Added stress in your life, a diet change, exercising more, a hormone imbalance, pregnancy, even medications can effect your period.

You didn't say how long you've been having your period but I assume since you're 14 it's not more than a few years. Sometimes it takes women's bodies a while to adjust to a regular schedule.

If you don't get your period by the next month, have your parents take you to the doctor to get checked out.

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i am looking for a job, but im only fifteen. i know some jobs my friends have but they arent hiring. i could really use the money because i need knew clothes since i grew 4 inches from last september, and i dont have money for school stuff or lunches! i live in texas if anyone knows!
thanks

At fifteen, you can babysit, walk dogs, pet-sit, do lawn care, even clean houses. Make up flyers advertising your services and post them around the neighborhood.

Just something that made me curious, do your parents not pay for food and clothes for you?

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i think i have artheritis in my arm. what sign should i be aware of. i know that its something to do with the joints and thats were the pain is..it happens anytime i lift something or add a little pressure to it. am a too young to have artheritis?? 13//totally FEMALE

It is possible, but unlikely, that you have arthritis. Signs include joint pain, sometimes joint weakness, the joint is usually swollen, often feels worse when the temperatures are low, and the pain can worsen with movement.

The best thing you can do is see your doctor for a checkup. It could be arthritis, but it could also be a sprain or pulled muscle.

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