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Too many people have been IMing me..

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July 6, 2005

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November 5, 2007

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about

I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

What traits do girls look for in guys? What would your ideal guy be like?

I'd say, it's different for every girl. Most girls would just like a guy that could be himself, and that isn't easily influenced by his friends. I like funny guys, but only if they know exactly when and how to be funny. However, guys that joke around 24/7 are not appreciated. I'd also want a guy that had some intelligence, and you could at least hold a meaningful conversation with. And of course, looks are important too. Girls can be just as shallow as guys, but I really do think that there has to be some physical attraction in a relationship in order for it to work.

You sound like a great guy. How can I tell? because you're taking the time to ask people on here, and if you're anything like that in real life, I bet a girl would love you, especially if you asked her a lot about herself. That always makes us feel appreciated.

I bought this dress and everyone (my mom and auntie) says i look good in it...but i don't know if i should wear it to prom or not because i find it makes me look square...I'm kinda thick and it makes my boobs and stomach look the same side when really my boobs are bigger than my waist!
Help! I would post a picture but my photobucket isn't workin so if u want to see a pic you can send me a comment to send it to u. Please help! What should i do?

Well, if everyone says you look good in it, I would would wear it. Older women in your family, they know what they're talking about. My mom will always tell me if something looks good on me or not. Even though she can sometimes hurt my feelings when she tells me, I'm still very happy that she is honest with me. Your mom and aunt probably know what they're talking about, so it probably really does look good on you.

Almost every girl has a distorted perspective of her body. This means that, you may look in the mirror and think you look really bad, when in reality, you don't. Lots of times, us girls, are way too hard on ourselves and our bodies.

I'd love to see the picture of you if you can send it to me, I'd be glad to give you my opinion.

My friends and i are really close- at times ! i mean they seem to like me but we fight all the time and i dont feel like i fit in. AT ALL ! They seem to push me away alot like they dont talk to me or seem interested in what im saying. They do this alot and im not sure if its cause im me or cause there upset. I dont know if this is saying anything to me like a hint or what ?

I don't really think that YOU'RE the problem. I think it is your friends. Many of my friends are like that too, and honestly, it could have nothing to do with you. Sometimes, people just have that type of personality. I'm not exactly sure why people sometimes push their friends away and other times seem very close to them, but it is something that probably comes from deep inside them. Are your friends having other problems in their lives? Such as family, school, or boyfriend problems? Other problems in their life could make them act this way.

I don't think they're hinting anything to you. But If they are, it might be that you and your friends need to spend a little time apart from each other. If you don't already, try giving your friends a little space. Don't ask them to hang out, don't talk too much to them. Wait for THEM to talk to you, or to ask you to hang out. If you give them a little space right now, they'll evntually realize that they miss you.

But like I said, you can't try to change your friends, just like how your friends can't try to change you either. I strongly believe that the way your friends act towards you is just part of their personality, because I know many people like that who can sometimes seem cold and distant, but are actually pretty nice people at times.

Well as some as you might know, ive been dating this guy for 4 months. I dont know if its natural but he keeps flirting and flirting and flirting! I get SO mad, and this one girl specificly, and i know it, likes him. She always is flirting with him and smiling at him and sometimes even winking?! Wow. should i confront the girl or even my boyfriend that it bothers me?

Yes, you should confront your boyfriend. A relationship is all about trust, and you need to know if you can trust him. 4 months is a fairly long time and you two are expected to be open and honest with each other. You have to talk to him because you don't want all of this to build up inside of you. I've had that happen to me before, where I've been jealous, but I didn't say anything about it, then I ended up flipping out and screaming at my boyfriend.

The best thing you can do, is, in person, ask your boyfriend, "You know that _____ girl? Are you two friends?" See what he says. If he says yes, tell him, "Well, it makes me feel kind of uncomfortable when she's around you." Again, see what he says. DON'T say anything like, "She's so ugly/gross," even if you do feel that way. End the conversation by asking, "Can I trust you that you're not seeing anyone else?" After that, drop the subject. You don't want to turn it into a three hour long discussion.

After that, if the girl sticks around, that's her problem. She can flirt and wink at him all she wants, it only matters what he does back to her. If he's not flirting back with her, then don't worry about it. Trust me, you will know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Because things get around very quickly, and you will always find out. (Though I don't think he is cheating on you.) Give it some time, see what happens. If he's not flirting back, this girl will eventually give up and move on. If you know for a fact that he DOESN'T like her as a friend at all, then feel free to yell at her a bit and tell her to back off.

OK this is a weird question, as a warning for those who are reading it. here we go..

I have trouble making "small talk" or any kind of talk...I just freeze up. but its not only with people i don't know or am shy of..its also with close friends. and i don't know what to do, or how to "fix" this. Its really awkward when there's these prolonged silences where i have no idea what to say, and end up talking about the weather or work. I do not know whats wrong with me. and recently its been bothering me even more because i recently got engaged, and my fiance would like me to call and talk to his mother more often. and you kno, become friends with her. but i dread every phone call (which never lasts more than 10 minutes) and i dont have any idea what to say. i guess you could say i have trouble with the how to talk as well..lol

but ya i could just use some advice, preferably from people who understand what im going through or know someone like me.

Thanks in advance! :)

Honestly, you don't have a problem at all. I get that way too all the time, even with some of my best friends. It may seem like everyone else can hold a conversation for three hours, but have you ever noticed how annoying those people can get? I know a lot of people, including myself that feel the same way as you.

For one, people LOVE to talk about themselves. So if you're ever on the phone, maybe with your fiance's mother, ask her about herself. (And I mean, more than just, "How are you?") The problem is, that you may not know what to ask her. And this is hard when you don't really know someone. Why don't you ask your fiance a little bit more about his mother? Like, what does she like to do in her free time? Any hobbies, pets, funny stories about her? The more you find out about a person, the more things you'll have to talk about. Also make sure you carefully listen to everything the person is telling you, so that maybe in a future conversation, you can remember something they said and bring it up again.

The more you ask about other people, the more likely they will be to open up and talk more to you, and maybe ask you some things about your life too. Another thing that I find works well also, is if you bring up random things that happened to you. For example, "So...the other day, I tripped down the stairs in front of our new neighbors. Good first impression, right?" Try to make it funny, it doesn't matter how random it is. It's something to talk about. And if you can't think of anything, lie. It may sound like a horrible thing to do, but it's really not, it just keeps the conversation flowing.

im running for class president. 14/f. i need some killer ways to get people that im friends with and even that im not friends with to vote for me!
thanks

Don't try to bribe people into voting for you. That's one of the most common mistakes people make. For example, there is one girl who's running for president at my school, and she comments all of my pictures on Myspace in an attempt to get me to vote for her. But bribery only makes people dislike you more.

The way to win is to be truthful and friendly to everyone, without being overly friendly. Make posters, or if you have Myspace or AIM, put something about it in your profile. You could even make a website on freewebs.com for it. Keep talking to people, and let them know exactly what you would do if you were class president. But make sure you ask others what they would want to change about the school. People are more likely to vote for you if you can relate to them.

This is probably going to be a dumb question, but I have no idea what I want for my birthday. It's June 11th. I want some money, but like I don't NEED anything. I mean I do, but uh?

My boyfriend keeps pestering me asking me what I want, and I have no clue what to tell him. (Him, 17 & I'll be 15.) If that helps at all. I just need some kind of a ideas.

Please + Thanks.

Ask him to make you something. If you don't really want anything, tell him that you don't want him to spend a lot of money on you. Girls make guys all kinds of gifts, why can't guys make some for girls? Like writing a song for you, or drawing your pictures, or making a photo album of pictures of you guys.

Just don't ask for jewelry. xD

I like him A LOT. theres just so much about him I like, and we've gone out and everything. and now we're friends. but we're going to diff. high schools next year. and im really really really bummed about it. and im giving him a note telling him that i wanna keep in touch and everything and that i'll miss him. but i don't feel like thats enough. is there anything else i can do to show him i sincerely care about him and actually wanna keep in touch with him?

thanks 13/f

You should tell him in person. Maybe bring a scrap of paper, and give him your email, AIM, Myspace link, phone number, or anything that you have. Just tell him how you feel. Don't cry or anything, but say what you feel. You can do it. :]

13/f ok. i like this boy, lets call him T.i mean i REALLY like him. well school just let out=,(, and i wanted to add him on myspace. but would it be too awkward to add him if hes the only guy with only 5 other girls? i really want to add him, but i dunno what to do. please help.

On Myspace, nothing matters. I know some people that are completely different on Myspace than they are in real life. Myspace is a great way to "break the ice" with a guy that you like.

There are billions of people on Myspace. And most people don't care at all if you request them, because they're just happy to have more friends.

Go ahead and request him. Everyone only has like, 5 friends when they start Myspace. I know I did. I only had 10 friends when I joined, and now I have 3000. So it doesn't really matter who you request, and I doubt he would mind if you did add him.

Maybe you two will even start talking on it. That's how I started talking to some of my previous boyfriends.

Add him. :]

im 13 what do you do when your dating now? as in what im just clueless? we go to the movies and over eachothers houses. how do you start kissing? do you just sit there lips out and ready and the other wondering whats wrong with you? help

Do only what you're comfortable with. if you don't feel 100% comfortable with it, don't do it. I'd sugguest giving your boyfriend a peck on the lips. You don't really have to wait for it to happen, you can just go ahead and do it. Surpise him. But only if you're comfortable.

**EDIT** When the moment is right, maybe when you both are sitting down and relazed, lean in and give him a peck on the lips. Or when you have to leave, and you're saying goodbye, give him a peck on the corner of his lips.

Most of my close friends have started to drink/smoke/do drugs/have sex this year and i really don't like it. They are gonna screw up they're life soo bad but theres many of them and only one of me. It seems like everybody does something now. I know im never going to do those things (eventually but not now) and i kinda feel left out. Theyre always saying how they got so wasted and hooked up with all these guys haha but i dont think thats funny. I feel like i have nothing in common with them anymore. What should i do?

I have the exact same problem.

People on here are going to try to tell you, "Get new friends." I hate when people say that. It is not easy to change friends, and you probably still like your friends, you just don't like what they're doing. You shouldn't ditch your friends completely. Just because they do drugs and all of that stuff, doesn't necessarily mean that they're bad people. You can still be friends with them at school, or maybe a public place like a resturant or a mall. Try to avoid uncomfortable situations, like going over to a friend's house or hanging out anywhere private where they could do drugs.

You're completely right. It's not funny, it's actually pretty pathetic. And let me tell you, ALL of my friends do that too. I feel like such a loser sometimes, but hey, I kind of WANT all of my brain cells. You know?

You should never feel like you have to do what your friends are doing. But you also can't try to change them either. People are going to do what they want to do, no matter what you tell them. You could tell them about all the horrible things that could happen to them in the future, but they still wouldn't care. The most important thing is that you know who you are, and that you know what you want to do. If you're not into drinking, drugs, and hooking up, then avoid situations where you feel like you might have to.

For me, I NEVER hang out with my friends outside of school, because I know that all they do is get high. It seems weird, and people would ask, "How can you be friends with these people?" Well, unfortunately a lot of really nice people also happen to be really screwed up. And that's okay because it's their lives, not yours.

If you have to back away from your friends for a little while, that's fine. Some of your friends might decide that, that sort of lifestyle isn't for them. Many people are just trying these things now. Some will get hooked on it, some won't. And you'll find out who did and who didn't in a year or so. As for right now, do the best you can. Friends aren't everything. You should focus yourself on doing well in school or a hobby such as writing, sports, or art. Maybe you could join some clubs at your highschool and meet new people there.

Eventually, you WILL find other people out there that do not drink, smoke, do drugs, or have unmeaningful hook ups. It is a very small number of those people, and I am still looking for them too. But they are out there.

i wrote this last night:

titleless- blog 16

love doesnt exist.
people spend their whole lives searching for love
and end up short handed.
because it doesnt exist.

if it did, then i wouldnt have half as many problems as i do now.
my whole life is one big mistake.
every single breath i breathe makes me more of a failure.

no one understands where im coming from when i write this shit down.
at times it seems like no one really wants to.
they'd rather blame me than try to help me.
which in turn, makes everything worse for me.

i absolutely hate looking in the mirror.
i dont see the same girl that you do.
i see a girl who's dying to be perfect.
a girl who's dying inside.
a girl who has no control of what goes on in her life
and its greatly affecting her.
greatly killing her.
and nobody realizes it but me.

its hard to explain all the shit that i put up with.
so i just hide it in hopes that it will go away.
but everytime i do,
it gets worse.

learning to let go of the past is harder than i ever thought it would be.
accepting things for the way that they are and knowing that i cant do anything to change it.
or to bring him back...

the fact that i have no control over who i am
or what ive become
totally messes with my mind.

i dont know who i am anymore.
not sure if i ever did.
just knowing that noone will ever understand what im going thru.
and feeling alone in this.

love is a hoax.
and my life is a total waste.

needless to say, thats how i feel. theres more of them too. (blogs, i mean)

what should i do to help myself feel better, if there is anything. cause right now, i feel like just "ending it all". dont tell me how wrong it is or how much people care. i know. ive heard it a thousand times. just, what can i do, if anything, to feel better about myself? i get my toes and nails done every two weeks... that helps a little.

You are NOT alone. You may think that noone understands how you feel, but there are people that have probably been through even worse than you. To put it quite simply, family sucks. No families are perfect, and the ones that seem like they are, only try to hide and ignore their flaws and problems. They sweep them under the rug, and they appear to have perfect lives and perfect families, but they don't. They avoid their problems.

The best thing you can do is face your problems. I don't know exactly what it is that's going on in your family, but ignoring it won't make it go away. You either have to try to fix it (maybe standing up to a family member and addressing the problem.) or learning to accept that the problem exists and just live with it.

What can you do to feel better about yourself? You can be proud of who you are. And you are a great writer too. I'm a writer as well, and when things get bad for me, I write poems, stories, or just thoughts in a journal or blog like you do too. Keep writing, because like I said, you are a very strong writer, and it can also help you to cope with what you are feeling right now. Getting your toes and nails done is a good idea too. Maybe you don't think your life is much right now, maybe you can't see what you're going to be like in 10 years, maybe you don't have any long term goals right now, but you do have small things to look forward to in the near future, such as getting your nails done, and that is a good thing. If you can learn to live day by day, and be content with your life, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's your life. Do what you want and don't listen to anyone else's opinion, because you know what? It doesn't matter.

I don't know how old you are, but don't think that your life is going to be like this forever. Things change. Once you're 18, you can legally move out or go to college, because then you are an adult and you can start your own life, whether you want to include your family in it or not. If your family members are jerks, that's their problem, not yours. Because when you're 18, you can say "Bye" and never talk to them again. Then, they would be sorry for wasting all of those years, not you.

I've felt like "ending" it all many times. But how will you ever know what things will be like 20 years from now, if you do?

okay well i see my best friend and her boyfriend making out all the time and everytime i watch them i really want to have a bf so i wouldnt be left out, but everytime my friends say they want to hook me up im just like nahh i don't know why im not scared to makeout or anything and i don't know what to do and it bugs me cause it seems amazing

I have the same problem. I really would like a boyfriend too. It drives me nuts when I have to watch a couple kiss or just walk together.

You're not scared to make out, so that's definitely not your problem. You said that the idea of having a boyfriend seems amazing. Key word: seems. It does seem amazing, but a lot of times it isn't.

I don't blame you for not wanting your friends to hook you up with someone. You should be able to pick out your own boyfriend, not one that your friends picked out for you.

I think the problem is simply that there is noone you really like right now. A boyfriend would be amazing, but you would want it to be someone that you really liked, and that really liked you back, right? That can sometimes be hard to find, especially if you're still a teenager. Everyone's hormones are screwed up, and it is impossible not to get your heart broken at this age.

I think that you do want a boyfriend, but you just haven't found the right guy. And you probably don't want to get your heart broken either if the relationship won't last. (Which most of the time, it doesn't last.)

Don't let your friends tell you what to do, or tell you that you HAVE to have a boyfriend. Your friends may seem like they're in steady relationships right now, but you'd be suprised how quickly a relationship can fall apart. Eventually, you'll find someone. Just take it slow, and don't waste your time on any losers.

What are some of the best ab exercises? I did google it, but I was wondering if anyone had personal experiences with them & which ones worked. I've been doing crunches & reverse crunches/6 inches. I'm kind of bored with them. Any ideas? Thanks!

Honestly, I think any ab exercises that you do are going to help. It may not seem like they're doing anything right now, but just like losing weight, building muscle takes time too. For the first week I started doing situps, I wasn't seeing any improvements. But later, you will see the change.

Ab exercises that I think work the best are, the ab lounge, or if you can't get that, normal, old fashioned situps work great and will still give you results. Also, if you try sucking your stomach in and holding it for 10 seconds, then letting it out, this also helps build muscle in your stomach.

ok so im 13/f
im a pretty social person, i mean im not like that popular girl who says hi to everyone and joins every after school activity, but im reasonable, ya know?
well i took an online test to see if i was addicted to the internet and i got an 80/100. And im ALWAYS online. i dream about being online and sometimes i will be walking around and ill say like LOL or TTYL out loud. and its not just instant messenger its myspace, online games like runescape, email, etc. i think i need help. I've tried to stop myself from going online but its not working. My grades are dropping because im always online! Do i need to talk to my parents? if so, how do i bring up that subject??

You are not addicted to the internet. Online quizzes don't mean anything. "Are you addicted to the internet?" quizzes are just as bad as, "Are You Cool?" quizzes.

I am online alot too, and I occasionally say "Lol" or "Omg" out loud. Here's the thing people need to understand about the internet: it is this generation's way of communicating. Talking on AIM could be just like talking on the phone or hanging out with and talking to your friend. If you were always on the phone with a friend, would you think you were addicted to the phone too? Or if you hung out with and talked to your friend all the time, would you think you were obsessed with hanging out?

People say that you don't have a social life if you're always on the internet. That's not true! In fact, the internet IS a social life. It's just a different, newer way of talking to people.

I don't know how much your parents could really help you. If you want to change your computer habits, it's up to you. Try scheduling a certain time that you can be on the computer. Such as, 8 to 9 PM. Or whatever works for you. Make sure you keep up with your grades. If you have studyhalls in school, try to finish your homework in them, or finish your homework right after school.

You'd be surpised how the computer can actually HELP you study. There are many websites that have fun review games or school trivia. You can probably ask a teacher if they know any. You can also use the computer to type up a study guide for a certain school subject. I create study guides on Word Processor. I type for a while. And then I take a break and check my Myspace and stuff. Do whatever works for you.

when someone knocks on a bathroom door and your inside, what are you supposed to say? haha i know its a stupid question but i dont know what to say.

I just say, "I'm in Here!" really loud. I have this problem too, because I've been walked in on a million times by my family. It is really annoying, so whenever I hear someone walking by that might open the door, I try to cough or something, so they can hear that someone's in the bathroom. ;]

how old do you have to be
in Illinois
to get your nose pierced.
and how bad does it hurt
and for how long after does it hurt?

thnks

I was 13 when I got my nose pierced. I think that in most states, you can be 13+ if you have your parent's permission, and they have to be there when you get it pierced. When I had mine done, I had to bring my birth certificate, my yearbook, and my mom's driver license. This is just so they can prove that you are really who you say you are, and that the adult that's with you is really your parent. Depending on where you gte it pierced, they may or may not make you do this.

Other places, you have to be 16+ to have your nose pierced.

It doesn't hurt that bad. But they do use a needle. (It's not like getting your ears pierced with the gun, they have to use a needle.) Basically what they do is, push the needle through your nose, let it hang there for a few seconds, and then slip in the nose ring.

Since your nose is soft, it doesn't hurt that bad, but you are going to want to close your eyes. It's really over in 5 seconds, if you stay still and calm. (You have to stay still or else they could mess up if you move...)

Another thing is that you could possibly feel sick to your stomach after you get your nose pierced. You may feel dizzy, sick to your stomach, or have trouble hearing for a few minutes. This is because when your nose is first pierced, it hits some kind of nerve that is connected with your brain. Sorry if I'm freaking you out, but you should be alright if you drink something sugary (like a Snapple) right after you get it pierced.

Alrigth, today was our last day of school.
I am completely determined to lose weight over the summer and come back to school looking amazing.
im completely devoted, to go to the gym (in-shape city)every day but sunday, and im cutting out all the junk food. Rgiht now im 190 lbs, 5'3, i know im really over weight, but how much weight do you think i could lose?
i know it only takes like 15 lbs to LOOK completely diffrent, but how much do you think i could lose in 3 months? any sugguestions?
normally when i go i do 15 minuets on the biking, 15 on a treadmill, and an hour class, sometimes i do cycling and other times i do yoga. then i go swimming for about a half hour.

Trust me, if you keep doing everything you are doing. You are going to lose weight!

I think that over 3 months, you could technically lose 15 pounds, but it should be at a steady rate. You're not going to lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks, so even if it seems like you're not losing weight at first- don't give up. It takes time. Just keep going at it.

30-45 minutes of exercise a day is good, and from what you've said, it sounds like you're getting that. The situps are definitely going to help you! Even though it may not seem like you stomach is getting flatter, it will, because that takes time too. I've done like, 10 situps one night, and the next morning my stomach was a little flatter. So it is doing something.

Any time that you feel the most comfortable with working out is fine. There's not a specific time of day where you can "burn the most calories." Try to work out when you're most alert. (Not right when you wake up, and not right before you go to bed.) 9 AM sounds good.

Last but not elast, make sure you're eating right. Not eating at all is a very bad thing, and it actually makes you gain more weight and become more likely to get colds or sicknesses. Cutting out junk food is a good idea, but just like exercise, you have to take that slow too. It's okay to have a little junk food. Such as, I have maybe 2 (okay...sometimes 10!! Lol) pieces of candy every day. Hershey kisses and miniature candy bars are great, they're really not that many calories. Or, fruit is always a great dessert, but never cut out food completely.

I think that you are definitely going to lose weight! You have a lot of motivation!

so my friend got a virus and it sent the virus to everyone on her aim buddy list

i just dont understand how you get these
hers said this "hey i was looking through some old photos and i was wondering if i could put this one of us up on my myspace? and then it gave the link with the virus...

but yea hows it possible for viruses to be sent to ppl on your buddy list

In order to get the virus, you have to click on the link. So whatever you do, Don't click on the link. Because you'll be fine as long as you don't click anything.

i'm not exactly sure how viruses work through AIM, but I do know that it must hack into your computer system using a special code that can send the virus out to anyone that you have listed on your buddy list. It's sort of like a robot, that sends the same thing out to everyone.

So as long as you don't click on it, you'll be fine.

Is there something wrong with Vitamin Water? My friend and I just had a bottle, and now we have killer cramps, and I cannot stand up straight or I feel like my insides are exploding. What is wrong with it, and what is wrong with me?

-Woahtherebabe

No, there's probably not anything wrong with vitamin water, it depends on how much of it you are drinking though. If you drink a small bottle, you will be alright, but do you know those super big bottles of vitamin water? I wouldn't sugguest drinking those.

Though vitamin water claims to be healthy, and it does have vitamins in it, it also has a lot of sugar which can irritate some people's stomachs. Vitamin water also contains a high amount of calories, which is why I never understood why people drink it when theya re trying to stay healthy or lose weight. (I've never had it...)

Personally, I would just stick with normal water. Because you know exactly what's in it, and it's virtually zero calories.

Try looking at the vitamin water label to see exactly what's in it. You could possibly be allergic to an ingredient that's in it, but most likely, your stomach pains are from something completely unrelated to the vitamin water. (Such as PMS, stress, or something you ate.)

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