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Socializing
OK this is a weird question, as a warning for those who are reading it. here we go..
I have trouble making "small talk" or any kind of talk...I just freeze up. but its not only with people i don't know or am shy of..its also with close friends. and i don't know what to do, or how to "fix" this. Its really awkward when there's these prolonged silences where i have no idea what to say, and end up talking about the weather or work. I do not know whats wrong with me. and recently its been bothering me even more because i recently got engaged, and my fiance would like me to call and talk to his mother more often. and you kno, become friends with her. but i dread every phone call (which never lasts more than 10 minutes) and i dont have any idea what to say. i guess you could say i have trouble with the how to talk as well..lol
but ya i could just use some advice, preferably from people who understand what im going through or know someone like me.
Thanks in advance! :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Honestly, you don't have a problem at all. I get that way too all the time, even with some of my best friends. It may seem like everyone else can hold a conversation for three hours, but have you ever noticed how annoying those people can get? I know a lot of people, including myself that feel the same way as you.
For one, people LOVE to talk about themselves. So if you're ever on the phone, maybe with your fiance's mother, ask her about herself. (And I mean, more than just, "How are you?") The problem is, that you may not know what to ask her. And this is hard when you don't really know someone. Why don't you ask your fiance a little bit more about his mother? Like, what does she like to do in her free time? Any hobbies, pets, funny stories about her? The more you find out about a person, the more things you'll have to talk about. Also make sure you carefully listen to everything the person is telling you, so that maybe in a future conversation, you can remember something they said and bring it up again.
The more you ask about other people, the more likely they will be to open up and talk more to you, and maybe ask you some things about your life too. Another thing that I find works well also, is if you bring up random things that happened to you. For example, "So...the other day, I tripped down the stairs in front of our new neighbors. Good first impression, right?" Try to make it funny, it doesn't matter how random it is. It's something to talk about. And if you can't think of anything, lie. It may sound like a horrible thing to do, but it's really not, it just keeps the conversation flowing.
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ok..
hun, i used to be so shy! you have no idea how shy i was!
phone calls? absolutely hated them!... honestly still do haha! am love text messeging because of that! And with new people, yeah, that was a drag!
I guess little by little, start pushing yourself, and putting yourself out there! I guess one of the things that eventually kinda helped me was chatting, yes, online. You know? going to random friendly chatrooms and just.. talking! ..at first it was a little hard, but i got into it. And talking was so easy! since you don't actually have to be face to face with the people, and you don't know if you'll evr even "se" them again, you can trully be yourself without worries and just relax and have fun!
And then before you know it, you'll become a social butterfly! you'll go to places and meet so many new interesting people! =)
Just take it at your own pace =) relax and have fun! Just remember to chat about thi8ngs that interest YOU! =) you know> like when trying to figure out what to talk about! haha! =)
Oh, and congrats on your engagement! =)
and as for talking to you to be mother in law.... no matter what, if you've never really talked to her at all or that much, its always going to be hard! haha! <333
much luck!
VB
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