about

hey!
ok, so, my name is vanessa! i' a real fun crazy gal =) I'm 19 years old, and about to start my second year of college! i love to challenge myself, to be with my friends, help them out to the max that i can.. mainly reson why am here.. duh lol i love you help people =) and can simply be a great listener. I've been through a lot in my life already... i guess that can be both good and bad. But that means i have some experience about a little bit of everything!
like I said, am in college, am in love with this amazing guy whom i've been with for over a year and a half, am bi, have been in love, have had my heart broken, have been places, study, work, and well, am crazy =) hahaha! in a good way ;-)
so, anyway, ask away anything thats on your mind =) no matter how crazy or whatnot, i'll ceratintly be here to try my best to help =)

advice

Ok so i have a mac. but i used to have a dell so i had AIM
and my screen name is stupid because i made it when i was little. so how do i change is?!?
because when i tried signing up with the .mac version of aim . they asked me to pay!
help! :]]

I have a mac as well.
the .mac thing your talking about, yeah i don't use that haha! But there should be an ichat application. Is basically aim but in he mac form. Otherwise, what you can do is go to the aim site and download aim to your computer and still use the same screen name if you want, or make a new one =) whichever you want more! =)

Good luck!

VB

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What do you think about sex before being married. I don't know if it's wrong or right so I'm asking you. Please voice opinions and experience.

personally hun, I really don't think there's nothing wrong with sex before marriage. Some may think otherwise, which is fine, =) we're all entitled to our own opinions and ways of doing things.
But when it comes to sex, in my experience i know I just couldn't be able to wait till marriage. To start off, I don't plan on getting married till my late 20's! I want to enjoy my life, and be with whomever i wish till that time comes. I'm not saying like sleeping around, but if i'm in a meaning relationship with someone and feel that I do in fact want to be intimate with them, why not?
Two consentual adults.... hey, nothing wrong with that =)

Hope this helps =)

VB

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The last 7 sugar pills you dont absolutly have to take right? because they're there to help you remember taking them right? I was just wondering if it effects chances of getting pregnant when you start your new cycle because i never take the sugar pills.

thats correct! =)
not taking the "sugar" pills don't effect the pills result. But they are still good for nutrients vitamins and whatnot. And mostly to keep constancy about taking the pill =)
But its not a must =)

VB

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I graduated college last semester, and am in the process of applying for grad school. Unfortunately, I am no longer living near my previous university, so I can't visit with my professors...
I need to ask for a few letters of recommendation, and wanted to know a couple of things beforehand:

- Is it considered rude to ask for a letter of recommendation through email? I am not in the area, so I can't simply visit during office hours.

- What sorts of things should I ask for, and provide to my professors, in order to get a good recommendation?

I guess all in all, what's the best way to go about getting a letter of recommendation, and once I decide to, how to do it? What to ask for?
Thanks!

Since you're not ni the area, is perfectly okay to as for a letter of recommendation through email. Trust me, your professors will understand.
As for what to ask for, your professors are experts! Just let them know the specific reason why you need it, for when and where, and those little details that specify what for.
Make sure they remember you by the way! haha! ;-) and be grateful beforehand. Very important. =)

Best of luck!

VB

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hello, i am 15/female
this is probably a stupid question but i need to know.
my vagina, the inner labia cums outs of the outta labia because it seem to be so big, so you can see my inner labia from outside the vagina [[if that makes sense]]
i don't know if this is right or not, and because of this i am scared to do things with boys incase i have something wrong and they think i am weird.
also should i be shaving my pubic hair?

Hey =)
Relax, as a matter of fact, everything is normal. It may not seem that way but your inner libia can actually be many sizes. It varies from girl to girl. And also, one can be bigger than the one on the other side =)
Its actually more common than you think. Many women out there have had the very same question, its a scary thing at first. Just like you, we're not sure of what to think, and go crazy wondering if it is that something is wrong with our body! But, like many out there, you're fine =) The vagina and specially the lips, are not how many picture them to be. Everyone's is different, so no need to be afraid or ashamed of someone else seeing it =)
As for the shaving, if thats what you want to try and do, go for it! =) There's nothing wrong with it. Just be very careful when you do! =)

Hope I helped! =)

VB

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so m3 and my fri3nd are g3tting 3ach other som3thing for christmas w3 mad3 a pric3 limit its 50$ do you hav3 any id3as? sh3s girly lik3s cheerl3ading soccr..pr3ppy shops at hollister abercrombi3 plac3s lik3 that h3lpp!

Hey hun!
One of the things any girl loves is getting to go get her nails done! just a day of pampering. You can never go wrong with that! =) You could set a day for the two of you to go in to a near place, or get her a certificate.
Thats my best advise, specially not knowing her or her true true taste. Just think of the little things you may know she likes, and others might not know of. Like I know one of my friends is crazy about purses and hearts, just like me.. haha! and i'm planning on trying to find her a cute little purse and maybe like a little heart necklace or set inside. Doesn't need to be super expensive, just meaningful. =) Go to those places she shops at and pick something you think she may flip over =) If not, like i said before, we all love a day of pampering! ;-)

Best of luck hun!

VB

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Hey! This is kinda an odd question but i'll ask anyway. How do you give a hand job? Haha like i know what it is and basically what to do but like..what are good things to do...if that makes any sense at all!! thanks!!

HAhA! Yeah, believe it or not it makes sense =) you should hear some of the thing I ask! hahaha! =P haha!
Anyway, having the basics, Here are some other little things to do:
~At a point of hand motion, slow down, hand on top of the shaft, and with your thumb rub the top of his peins--the head.
~You can take both hands, interlock them around the penis and motion ur hands up and down and a little side to side at the same time.
~There also one where practically put your thumb and index fingers together, forming a circle, both hands, and take that circle and bring down the penis, and then the other hand, and the other increasing speed... haha! (good arm exercise!) haha!
~You can also do the same above, but instead of bringing your hands/fingers down, you bring them up!
~other is to take your hands around the penis, almost as if were going to make a fire... but instead of the hard fast motion back and forth from you, do it softly and also up and down at the same time . =)
~Also, you while moving the hand on the shaft, take your other hand and circle and touch/rub the head of the penis...
....Guys also love it when you play with their balls! haha!
Just have fun with your hands =) haha!

Good luck hun!
and have fun!

VB

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Basically, when i get my period ihate my life because i can't use tampons. I've tried..about 30 times. I know the directions..i know how to do it. The thing is..it doesn't fit. I've tried the smallest size and that still doesn't work. Its embarresing cause i'm 16 years old and i can't use one! Also like, i've been in a relationship for a while so i know that the time will come to like do fingering and stuff...and like..he wont be able to! ahh haha help? thanks a ton!

First of all, yeah first tim etrying to do it, no matter what number of first time it is, it is pretty bad! haha!
It took me a couple of tries to first get it in... and even then it felt a little weird...
Anyway, have you tried using even some lube with it? You're already starting with the smallest one, which is great! def wanna start with that. Best position I found as well was squading... and most important, don't think about it much and just breathe.. breathe nice and deep! haha =) If possible, like i mentioned before, try to see if you can get some lube so you can put specially around the tip of the tampon and go in a little easier... also, try tampax pearl. I found those to be the smallest out there. And they're not that bad, specially for first timers =) The plastic applicator enables a nice easy smooth entrance... and like I said their small ones are definitely the smallest I've found out there!
...Also, regarding the fingering, trust me its definitely different to trying to put in tampon! haha1 to start off if and when he does this, you'll be pretty turned on and therefore pretty wet. Make sure to tell him or that he does it with only one finger. When you're ready maybe two and whatnot haha!
But also, all in all that could actually help you in putting in the tampon, Since it'll open you up a tiny bit and reasure you that its something that you can do. Which actually brings me to, maybe you can do it as well. You know? Try doing it yourself too if you feel comfortable. It'll help in both situations =)

Best of luck hun!

VB

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Can anyone tell me what exactly IS the birds and bees theory? i've always heard it for so long and noone knows what it means, even the teachers i just doens't know

basically, The birds and the bess represent the males, and since they seek the flowers (females) for their seed(s)... Get together, contact... you know? the whole metaphorical idea of it. haha!
Its silly, and more complicated than it really should be! haha!

Hope this helps =)

VB

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Before I start I want to tell you guys that I am 15 about to be 16 in July, and I'm a female...^^
So my two friends and I went to the mall one day, and we were shopping at Hot Topic and this 18 year old guy started talking to us. We started hanging out and we started flirting with each other. He asked for my number and I gave it to him.
And let's just say my mom wasn't happy to the fact that he was 18 and I gave him my number. I really like him, but I have this weird feeling...my mom keeps telling me that she doesn't want me going out with him (which I understand why) but I really do like him and I want to just be friends with him. My mom doesn't even want that. He calls me cute girl, beautiful, things like that, and my friend from Europe told me that her friend got raped from an 18 year old and he was doing the same things that my 18 year old is doing to me.
I asked my friends what I should do because I don't know why he even wants to be my boyfriend because A) I'm a freshmen (though i should be a 10th grader) and B) I'm 15!! What does he want with me?
I really don't know what to do because I really do like him, but I know my mom doesn't like him though she hasn't met him. I want to get my mom to let me hang out with him, and meet him, but...I don't know if hanging with him and all that is the right thing...what do you guys think?
If anyone can give me advice on what to do, or even if hanging out with him is the right think, please help...
So thanks in advance! ^^ Oh! Before I forget, he has already finished high school...XD That's all the info I think I can remember..

Mainln thing i can etll you is leave things right where they are. The fact that you say you're getting a weird feeling is a sign. Trust yourself... In general it all doesn't sound too good of a situation. Overall it doesn't sound good hun.
I would advice you to just forget this guy and move on with your life. I don't know, for some reason, even though i don't know him or anything, he just doesn't sound like good news to me... specially since you're getting that weird feeling about it all as well.
Be careful hun, because yeah, its true. Some guys out there are really just looking for their next victim, or just because of how young you are compared to him, they take advantage of that =/
Not trying to lecture you, but unfortunately its the truth.. =/

Take care..

VB

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at my school we have to make stamp addressed envelopes for the teachers that are writing our letter of recommendation. for the colleges address should i write the colleges name above the address?
like i'm applying to boston college so would i put

Boston College Admissions Office
140 Commonwealth Avenue, Devlin Hall 208
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467-3809

or just the address?

i know its stupid details but please help me

Yes =)

Best of luck!

VB

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I'm 17 and i've been going out with my boyfriend for a while. this is an awkward question but like he wants to more forward (not to sex) but like fingering and stuff. should i like shave down there or something? i have before and wow not a good idea. but i don't want to like not do it and it would be weird.. i'm so lost about this haha.

awww haha!
Don't worry about it, definitely not a weird question, trust me! haha!
But the truth of the matter is, when it comes to hair down there, do what you think is best, and are most comfortable with.
Totally shaving can be a pain, specially if you're new to it aren't careful. I'm not sure how it went with you the first time you did it or what happened, if you're really thinking about it i'd say give it a last try.
Then again, there is the option of trimming. You can go wild and creative runnnig your imagination down there! haha!
Its really up to you and what you like best.
Yes its true that guys do like it a bit trimmed or shaved down there. I'd say try trimming, that way its not completely shaving and still gives it a sense of style and whatnot. haha! =)
Also, if you're not comfortable with the actual blade, get an electric trimmer, specially designed for women. They're pretty good =) and with those you have a lot less chance of cutting yourself =/
But yeah, just give it another try, its def a bit more appealing for the guy, and feels great, for both! haha! =)
Any other questions regarding it let me know! =) But i'd say def give it a try and see how it feels =)
I know I love it! HAte hair! haha!
Good luck!

VB

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hey i thought i might ask u this question. i am in love with this guy but he already has a girlfriend, he loves me to but he still likes his girlfriend we have become very close and i know he loves me because of the way he looks at me and when smiles at me i am very confused, i dont know if to waight until he leaves his girl or move on because i wount want to waste any of my time waiting on anyone . what do u think i should do continue hoping that the love we have will over come anything ,leave him and his girlfriend alone and move on , what? ps am 16 yrs old and really in love.

Hey sweetie
I'm sorry it's taken so long to answer your question, my dear apologies.
But anyway, I trully believe that its best for you to just move on. He's with this girl and even though he may have some feelings for you, the fcat that he is still with his girlfriend speaks for itself.
I've been ion the same situation, although in my case, for a while, my crush had a crush on me as well. But we were too young and naive to realize it. As the years went by though I guess it became apparent that the feeling had been mutual, and still even through time there were always still remains of those feelings. and even though when it happened that i became his neighbor, we still flirted, and alot.... But he eventually had a girlfriend, and then another... and even with his girl rightt here, he'd throw me those melting smiles and looks that i'd go absolutely crazy for! haha! But the fact of the matter is, that if he was with this other girl, the feelings he had for her must have been stronger than for me... so, its best to move on....
soon enough you'll find that one =)

VB

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hey.. its me.. the girl who loves a boy over the internet.... thanks again for the advise earlier.. since you've been through this i have another question.... how do you know when your wasting time? my closest friends who know about cody all think im wasting my time.. and i can't help to think the same way.... part of me thinks i am... but then theres a big part who pictures me and him meeting in person and really becoming something great. is there any way to know?

Hey hun,
Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you sooner... =/
And i know what yu mean. I've been through that part of it all too! haha! yeah, with my best friend. I almost even ended the friendship and whatever feelings we had in common... and got to the point that told him one night that we couldn't do this anymore... but i honestly didn't want to, but... sigh.. anyway, i did think that it would have been a mistake and waste of time to be in love with someone so far away and whatnot. I was obviously wrong. I say just give it a try if you trully have feeling for him, and they are mutual..
Give it a try, and don't listen to your friends. They mean well, but sometimes they are wrong.
Just listen to your heart =) I know it sounds cliche, but its the truth =) ...thats the only way to know... =)

VB

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Hello, thank you for your advice. You ask how long did she (lara) lean her head on my shoulder. well almost the whole movie. she then sometimes didnt do for a while, then a few seconds later she will do it. she always leans on me before i told her how i felt about her. sometimes there were times that she will try to hold my hand. and last time she hold my arm and lean her head at the same time.
so i am a little confused. i was thinking about telling her that i met a guy or girl. but i dont know how to start it off. the thing is when i told her i met that guy at the party she got jealous and said "i dont know if i should be happy or pissed. i guess time will tell for the both of us" and "if you get a boyfriend we wont be close anymore"
you might be right that its a close friendship, but i have a friend that i knew for 11 years and when i or we talk about guys she never acted like Lara did.
Lara told me she was jealous of my last two boyfreinds. i ask her "do you like me more than a friend?" she then shook her head no. i dont know if that is the truth but deep down i dont think so. i told this to my guy friend Josh and he said he thinks Lara does like me more than a friend but afraid to tell me.
i just dont know what to do. i been asking questions and studying her body lagunage and searching for answers i am so trider of it. all i want is her to stop playing with my mind. i dont want to get over her but i have to. it is her trun to step up and tell me how she really feels. right?

You're definitely right.
yeah, it seems that it is something more than a friendship thing, because what i'm getting from you regarding her body language for example, sounds more like how i am with my boyfriend...
And there definitely shouldn't be any reasons for her to be pissed if you found someone. I'd get pissed when this girl would ask out my crush to our school dance for example.. haha! Yeah def sounds more than a frienship thing.
I can understand the statement about if you get a bf then you guys wouldn't be close anymore, because all in all time you'd spend with ur bf/gf would be less time you'd be with her... But thats normal. but the "I guess time will tell for the both of us"?... yeah, thats definitely out there.
It seems very possible that she does in fact have feeling for you, like you said, and she's just scared or nervous about it.
I'm sure you understand dealing with such feelings can be a little hard sometimes, and definitely confusing. But stil, she shouldn't be messing with you like that.
And as for telling her about a guy/girl you met, well since you two are friends just casually start the conversation about how you met this guy/girl, and think they're pretty nice or whatever. you know, just like a normal gals gossip thing. But right now i'm not certain if she'll actually give you a response which would clear things up, or just tell you again what she says she has.
Give me a day or so to think it over and also i'll iscus it with my partner in crime.. (haha!) and i'l let you know what we can come up with, and or a plan or something you could besides the trying to talk to her about it, which is obviously not working.. =/
But i'll let you know what you could do, because yeah, its definitely more than a friendship thing.

talk to you soon.

VB.

by the way, does she have a bf?
has she?

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Well I'm sixteen, female, and I'm adopted, apparently I can't even begin to look for my real parents until... I'm 18?
And I think thats stupid. I'm afraid that it will be incredibley hard/expensive to find them too, is anyone on here adopted and found their biological parents? what did you have to do to figure it out, and what not?

thanks.

The rules of adoption differ by state.
Right now i actually am ion the process of trying to find my boyfriend's birth parents.
Unfortunately though, unless your parents have that information to share with you, since you are only 16, there isn't much you can do to get that kind of information.
Unfortunately as well, (now remember, this differs by state), to give you an example with my bf, as an 18 yr old he could only get nondisclousure papers regarding his adoption. And as a 21 yr old, if there is permission from he birthparents for their information to be giving, he could retrieve it. But i believe that if not, he needs to put in a court order, to be able to get these papers. But he would need a grave reason to actually be granted such information.... =/ Its not impossible nor really expensive to do. The main thing to do, is search the laws of adoption for your state, and go from there =)

Best of luck! =)

VB

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F/Bi/20

I like my best friend for 8 years. I told her i like her 4 months ago. she said i am fine with it but i dont feel the same way.
i try to move on, i went to a party and i meet this guy we played pool but after the party nothing happen. i told her that and she got jealous. one month later i ask her why she got jealous she kept on changing the subect. but she told me she was being over protactive. i even ask her if she likes me more than a friend. she shook her head no. but what i dont get is that we went to the movies together (as friends) and she started to lean her head on my arm. does that mean anything?
what should i do?

wow....
Thats definitely tough to decifer.
In one way, you have to consider and remember that you two are best friends. And also the amount of time that you two have been this way. I take it that you've been at least friends for eight years. And witht that, you also have to remember that with time frienship becomes more profound and one gets more and more closer witht the other. I know that when i'm with my friends we maybe hanging around and i may lean my head on her shoulder for a bit just because or because its just one of those moments that its more funny playful thing, and it can be done because you do feel comfortable enough with that person to do such things.
Also, there can as a matter of fact be jealousy between friends because of a third person.... Trust me, i've been there with my best friend. I started telling her about this guy i had hung out with and kinda liked, and she went crazy both protective and just jealous. She said that she didn't want to lose me. That i was her nessa...
Now, i'm going to tell you too that i am bisexual too. My friend, she definitely wasn't. and we just didn't like each other that way.
So it is possible that its just a frienship thing.
But... all in all, there's also the possibility that she may be experiencing a bit of curiosity about it... you know?
I'm really sorry i can't tell you its this or this clearly, but it just is definitely way too broad. Maybe try telling her about someone else, see how she reacts.... ? about either a guy or girl... see what her response is. Because seriously, the main thing thasts throwing me off, is the leaning on you on the theater. For how long..? I would say experiment with little thing, like i said above to see what she says or how she reacts...
Besides that, i'm not really sure what i could tell you =/

Best of luck!

VB

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how old do you have to be to work at borders? i couldn't find it online. I'm guessing like 16? idk help please. thnakyou!

Unfortunately, when I was younger I tried applying to Borders and Barnes and noble...
But wasn't able to because I din't have the age requirement... which was 18. =/
So, yeah, you have to be 18 years old or older to be able to apply to any of these bookstores. =/

Good luck!

VB

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For halloween im being a little white lie. wearing a white skirt and long sleeve shirt with white knee socks. im trying to look as cute and innocent as possible. than im gonna have pieces of paper with lies on them stuck all over me. i need help comign up with some though...all your answers are appreciated thanks in advance

awww Thats really adorable! haha! thats a n awesome idea!!!

-no, your butt doesn't look big in those pants!
-You look great!
-don't worry, i'm sure you did well in that test.
-no, you're not fat!
-Yeah, i had a lot of fun.
-That sounded great!
-No, you're hair doesn't look that bad.
-Sorry, i'm already going with someone else.
-Sorry, i can't make it to work today, i think i got the flu...
-that was great advise! haha! ;-)

Hope these helped some! haha!
VB

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okay. I'm kinda freaking out right now.
let me start from the top...
on sunday the 21st of october, i started birth control for the first time. [[ One week ago ]] the Nuva Ring. and i'm supposed to wait for 1 week before having sex.
well last night my boyfriend stayed the night.. and well, we couldn't help ourselves. lol. and we had sex about 10 hours before it would be 7 days. so i waited 6 days and 14 hours... but we did use a condom. THEN this morning we did it again, in the heat of the moment, I just figured it would be fine. it had been 7 days. so we didn't use a condom [[ we were out of them anyway ]]
but i'm really nervous about the whole thing. If I get pregnant, it'll ruin both of our lives. we're only 17. [[ i know, 17 year olds shouldn't have sex ]] i've heard all the lectures. just please help!!

First of, calm down. =)
No matter the situation its always worse to freak out, trust me, i'm great at it.. its horrible! haha!
Anyway, I also tell you not to worry because i doubt it that you may be pregnant. Starting witht the time when you still had your period, i doubt that you did get pregnant considering that you were with your period and still had a a couple of days before ovulation happened again... and i'm also guessing that you used a condom that time as well...
And overall since you had been on the Nuva Ring for a week and also used a condom, there's double protection right there, you should be fine. and as for the next morning, i still think it should be ok.
Like the person below me said, birth control is never 100% effective... but it is 99% effective. At least you're taking that reponsability... =)
But you should be ok. To make sure you could go and try to take a pregnancy test in a couple of days.

Relax =)
Hope this helped

VB

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