Hey everyone, my name is Jordan. Im going to be a sophomore at Oklahoma State University this year, currently studying Hotel and Restaurant Management. I graduated with a 3.42 GPA from Cinco Ranch High School in Katy, Texas, my home of ten years. I am a singer, a cook, a brother, a son, a friend, an employee, and a student. I have alot of background with problems with friends, parents, siblings, teachers (long stories), employers, and of course, with myself. But ask anything you want, if I can help just one person, than I've made a difference, and I'll be happy! Please rate me based on the advice I give. I want to know if I need to change anything! Thanks to everyone who has rated me so far! I'm sorry about my period of inactivity on this site, school, my girlfriend, and other aspects of my personal life have kept me away for longer than I wanted, but I'm back and ready to answer your questions!
E-mail: jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
Gender: Male
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Occupation: College student at Oklahoma State
Age: 19
AIM: IronChefRogue1
Member Since: April 5, 2005
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2007
Visitors: 6452
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15-f: well ive been dating a guy for 4 months and my parents are divorced...My mom says that i cannot hangout with him outside of school unless he comes over and "has dinner with us" an she meets his parents as well. My dad told me that unless he's "putting a ring on my finger" then he doesnt have to meet him like the way my mom wants to. soo thats the only way i see him is on my dad's day's..and im not with him that much. I guess my question here is should u continue seeing him at my dads, or should he finally meet my mom...[ps]my mom and i dont get along at all. (link)
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Hey,
I feel for you, my mom and I don't get along either, and she has yet to meet my girlfriend of over a year and a half. Granted we are in a long distance relationship, my parents aren't divorced, and I am nearly 21, the point stands that your dad is right, it isn't necessary until you have the ring on your finger. While it would be in a way respectable for him to meet your mom, it could also open a world of trouble for you and him if your mom dislikes him. I've seen it happen before, and it can only open the rift between you and your mom more, trust me. In the end, its really your choice. If you think you and your boyfriend are up for it, you could have him meet your mom, but personally, your dad seems the more sane one in the relationship, as my dad is in my family. I would stick with dad's opinion, and if you and your boyfriend decide to tie the knot, then let your mom meet him, cause by then, she won't have much say in the relationship anyway. But I could be biased. Anyway, best of luck to you and your boyfriend in the future!
Jordan (jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu)
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Ok so here it is.
me and my BFF have been best friends for 7 years
I moved away from where I use to live like 3 years ago...so me and her live an hour and a half away but still are very close well I met this guy and we started going out and I love him to death but I think my BFF is kinda jealouse of my bf cuz he gets to see me all the time adn we do stuff together alot and I tend to talk about him alot I try not to but idk..anywayz...what should I do should I do should I stop hanging with him so much....and should My bff be close to me then My bf???.......PLEASE HELP (link)
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Well, I disagree with the responses above. While your BFF may seem like she is jealous, and you two are farther apart than you and your boyfriend, a true friend should be able to support you if you are happy in a relationship. While they may not always want to know the cute little things that little Johnny did if they don't have their own significant other, they should at least be able to understand that you have someone new and important in your life. Time will balance things out between bf and bff time, as the relationship gets a bit deeper and less new. Don't make your bf suffer because your bff is jealous, because that isn't fair to him. You should not have to choose between your bf and your bff, any friend who tries to make you choose isn't worth your time. While distance is a factor in problems like these, it can be minimized. Let me give an example from personal experience. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and when we started, her current bff was afraid that she was going to lose her friend and tried to kinda push a choice on my girlfriend. My girlfriend decided to stay with me and be friends with her bff. Over the next few months, her friend's treatment toward her became worse until it came to a boiling point. The friend tried to play the drama queen and push it off on my girlfriend, trying to make it her fault, when it was really her (the friend) that was having the attitude problem. Long story short, bff doesnt always mean best friend forever. So you have to do what you ultimately think is right. If you think your boyfriend is worth it, dont let your friend's jealousness drive you to spend less time with him. Just remind your friend that you are still there for her, but you do have someone that you consider special in your life now. If she is a true friend, she will understand, and you two can go from there, if not, then she is not worth the effort. Best of luck to you, and I hope everything works out for you.
P.S.: My girlfriend and I will have been together for 20 months on the 18th of this month.
Jordan
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Hey sexy!
its me again! ;-)
...well, i have a question about guys....... since you are one.. and what a guy you are!
well, would you say that guys ever really let go of their ex's???
or are they often reminded of them?
Because my friend is expiencing some similar problems with her bf, and asked me... but what do i know about a guys way of thinking???? right? wtf?
so, whats you're input sexy?
Ur the greatest!
I would IM you to ask you one on one... but you never seem to be on :-( so sad.....
maybe soon though ;-)
thanx for the advice in advance!
oh.. and its not just for ex's but old crushes too! I know a girls perspective on the ossue, but dunno if guys r the same. thanx! (link)
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Hey again!
I'm very flattered that you think so highly of me, I'd hate to let you down, but I'm just one man, but I do try my best. As for guys letting go of their ex's, it really depends on the guy, the length of the relationship, and how much it meant to them. Some guys easily get over their ex's, some that are longer relationships stick with them for a while, there are just different factors. I know that I've personally moved on past my ex's and am solid rooted in my current relationship and its future. As for old crushes, yeah, most guys tend to move on past them..and yes, even movie star crushes fade in time, and those are more of fantasies, unattainable fantasies, so not to worry there. So to your friend with the bf troubles, time heals all wounds. There was a time when I was still wounded and remembered my first girlfriend who screwed me up, but my current girlfriend helped me get over it and restored my self-confidence. So being supportive to your guy can really help bring him around too, if he is in a hurt way. If he is still pining over her, then it may be a lost cause.
And as for not being online, I'm currently on an internship in Santa Fe, and the only real internet access I get is from my workstation back at the switchboard, and it doesn't have AIM or AOL, but I try to access my email at least twice per shift when I'm not answering phones. So email is always good for contacting me, or the advicenator's site. Hope I was able to help out!
Jordan (jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu)
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hey you =)
I noticed that you tend to give some pretty damn good advice.
Well, this is my dilema... there's this guy that i'm really into, andI believe that he is into me too. We talk all the time and everything, we're practically the best friends! He knows like evry little thing about me....
In a way, do you think that that's bad?
I love the guy to death, but is it really that good for him to know me like that deeply?
and... can i get a picture of you? I read your header i guess you can call it, and i'm oh so very attracted to you....
I certaintly wouldn't mind you being my personal consultant ;-)
Thanks in advance sexy! (link)
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Hey, thanks for the compliment! I try my best to help people in any way that I can. Unfortunately, due to school, girlfriend, and being on internship in Santa Fe, just don't have as much time as I used to to give advice, but I'm more than happy to help those in need! Sounds like you have a good thing going with this guy, and its good that you love him. If he didn't love you, he probably wouldn't care enough to want to know every little thing about you. It can be good to have someone who knows you so well, because they are usually people you can trust to keep you on the right path, people you know will be there for you, who've got your back through thick and thin. And in an opposite sex friend, or significant other, that is a very good trait. If you two love each other, then you have the basis of a long lasting, loving relationship, something that many people, while they may not say it out loud, envy. Couples that build a solid relationship through friendship and loving and caring are much more likely to stay married throughout the course of their life, compared to others who don't have that solid foundation. I'd say its definetly not a bad thing, especially if feelings are mutual, and it seems like they are. And I'm betting this guy is one lucky guy to have you.
As for a picture, I might be able to post one in the future, as I don't really have full access to internet here on my internship, just some basics. And I'm always willing to give advice to those in need, so if you need a personal consultant, I think I'm up to the task. But just fair warning, I am a happily taken guy. Sorry, but hope I can help you with whatever other advice you need!
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i think that i'm pregnat. the reason why is that my boyfriend busted and then i got on him and he put it in me. so am i pregnat or not. let me know please because i'm scared and i have all the smyptons.
(link)
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Well, I'd say the best way to know is a pregnancy test. However, depending on your age, you might need your mom or dad to buy you it, unless you have an older friend. Chances are if you went to a doctor or a planned parenthood establishment, they would either turn you away, or tell your parents, either of which could be bad. I'm not an expert on pregnancy, being a guy who's never had a pregnant girlfriend. Have you missed your most recent period after your boyfriend put his spurm in you? If so, you COULD be pregnant...or you could have a delayed period, which has happened to two of my friends who regularly make love to their boyfriends. Just having the symptoms isn't always a confirmation, it could just be a virus or other illness. Unless you are super fertile, your boyfriend is super potent, both, or just by fate, not every time a guy ejaculates in you will lead to pregnancy. It depends on time of the month, time after period, ect. Depending on how old you are, your only options could be to appeal to an older female friend for assistance in obtaining a home pregnancy test, or simply wait. I know waiting isn't the most desirable option, but if you are a minor, your choices are few and far in between. Even if you go to the school nurse, I think national law requires them to inform your parents, which I'm sure you don't want. A month may seem a long time while you are waiting on edge, but even another two weeks can either confirm or deny your fears. I will keep you in my prayers, and sincerly hope for the best for you. Email me if you need additional help, and I will try to do what I can for you.
Best wishes, Jordan
jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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how do I stay out the the freind zone?
what say to a girl you just met on the phone?
do you have any tips I can use to act smooth?
any romance tips thats guaranteed to get me to stay with her? (link)
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First of all, there are no guarantees. You have to realize that before we continue. As for smoothness, try being yourself. Now if yourself is a perv or a jerk, which you don't seem like, then maybe you should work on that first. Be natural, try to work in some natural jokes, nothing too obvious, corny, or overused, girls pick up on that fast. My girlfriend and I have been together for five months now, and I find that the jokes or things she laughs at most aren't forced, they just kinda come naturally. Talk about things that might interest her. In other words, don't bore her with video games if she isn't a gamer, no sports if she isn't a sports fan. Talk about what she likes, her interests, favorite movies, etc. Don't focus on yourself unless she asks, don't want to come off as self-absorbed. As for just meeting a girl on the phone, try complimenting her voice or her laugh when you hear it. Something as simple as "you have a very beautiful voice" or "such a beautiful voice, you must be very beautiful" can go along way. If you get to take this girl on a date, there is something very important you should remember: chivalry is not only for the knights of old. Open doors for her, pull out her chair for her at tables, offer your jacket if she is cold(if she becomes your girlfriend, then wrap your arm around her, its one of those little signals that she wants to be closer), oh, and flowers are always good, unless she is allergic. If you can and have time, perhaps ask her friends if she has a favorite type of flower. Bringing her her favorite flowers shows that you care enough to find that sort of thing out, which is a very good thing. If there isn't time, it's hard to go wrong with a dozen long-stem red roses. Short on cash? Live in a flower-rich area? A hand-picked bouquet of bright flowers can say even more than store-bought roses. Need more in the romance department? Want to show that you can be the good guy that that good girl you want is looking for? One word: picnic. Try to find a nice open field or park or beach, a beautiful, sunny, not too hot or cold day, make some sandwiches or other great picnic food, like fried chicken (email me for a good recipe), toss in maybe a frisbee or volleyball, and you have an excellent romantic date that won't hit you in the pocket book, and will show her you are different from other guys around. Good luck, and as always, email me for more advice or recipes if you need them!
Best wishes, Jordan
jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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ok my boyfriends best friend(johhny) is a really good friend of mine also but we are just friends and that is it!! well last night i had a dream that i did some ....."not so nice" things with johnny and now i cant talk to johnny, and i kinda feel bad, if i tell my boyfriend than im scared he will get mad but this dream really bothered me to were i cant talk to johnny, i mean i dont want to brake up with my current boyfriend its just this dream bugged me..do i tell my boyfriend and his friend or what do i do? (link)
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I think probably the most important thing to remember in this situation is that dreams are just that, dreams. There are some psychological perspectives and even religious perspectives that say that dreams have special meanings, messages your subconscious is trying to tell you. However, in this case, I doubt your dreams tell you what you think they mean. It could just be a subconscious signal that you need more attention from your boyfriend, and in the dream, you got the attention (perhaps not in the way you might want) from Johnny. Then again, it could be a small sign that you might be attracted in some small way to Johnny. I know these are two possible situations that you may not want to think about, but they could be very real. But not talking to Johnny is not the answer, it could only complicate the problem. If this is a one time dream, which it sounds like it is, then it could just be the sign of an idle mind. But if it starts recurring, I'd say more than one or two more times, you may need to invest sometime into exploring your feelings for Johnny, and exploring possible problems in your relationship. My advice, for now, is to just keep the dream to yourself. There is no need to possibly upset your boyfriend, and also no need to not talk to Johnny. If your dream included what I think it might have, you might have just been slightly aroused while you were asleep, which would explain alot.
Best wishes, Jordan
jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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I have two lovely cousin brothers but there are times when they ger overly critical of me,put me down sarcastically .....how do i deal with them,i don want 2 be rude but i cant take it no more either (link)
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Well, personally, I'd say age and maturity (and lack their-of) are probably playing a big role in this situation. Resorting to physical violence is usually not a good idea, especially in a two on one situation. If they lack maturity, as I assume they do, talking to them won't work either, just go over their heads. I'd suggest either talking to their parents, or just ignoring them. Put downs and over-criticalness are often signs of low maturity and low self-esteem, and serve as reminders of their own insecurities. It may be difficult, but just brush off their insults, and chances are that they will either get bored of being ignored, or they will out grow this phase. Best of luck to you, and email me if you need any further help!
Jordan
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I think somebody already asked a question like this, but here I go anyway.
I am about to turn 15 years old in September, and I am in all honors classes this year in highschool. I also want to be in Drama. I was thinking maybe this year I could look for a job. Would that be too much on my plate for one year?
I am also wanting to take tennis lessons and workout after school.
I heard that honors classes hand out alot of homework, but I really want a job because my parents are never willing to pay for certain things, and I dont blame them.
Should I cut down on my after school to-dos? (link)
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Hey,
In short, you may want to consider cutting down on your after-school activities. I used to do a few Honors classes plus choir. That took a big time commitment. Honors classes, drama, and work may overwhelm you while you are still young. That being said, some people can handle that sort of strain, but it costs them in other aspects of their lives, such as home life and personal life. If you have a group of friends you are close to, taking on that large of a load may affect your ability to hang out or talk with them. Or if you like to go to bed early, that may as well be out the window. I like to try to call on personal experience when I give advice, so here it goes. When I was 15, after my freshman year, I got my first job as a cashier during the summer. A few months later, I started my sophomore year with 2 honors classes, my new position in choir, and still my job. I definetly struggled to keep my grades up while getting hours during the work week. And my personal life was shot. Ill make this simple. If you think you can handle your time well enough to keep up your grades and get hours at work, do it, if it will please you. At worst, you could just work weekends, which is what i had to do for about 3 months. Few hours, less money, but you will still have some money to spend. Good luck, and as always, email me if you want further help or advice.
Best Wishes, Jordan- jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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I go to an all-girls school so I don't know a lot of guys. I've recently become really interested in them, and I'm dying to meet one! I hang out with my friends a lot in the city, and there are a lot of guys my age there, and I was wondering if it's alright if a girl just randomly approaches a guy? Like, you're a guy, so you'd probably know, right? Would it seem attractive, or just really weird?
Thanks! LoVe, ~E~ (link)
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Hey ~E~,
There are a few different ways to approach your predicament. One is to just go up to a guy, and just say "Hi, my name is (your name here), what's yours?" Granted, some guys may not be as open to that approach, but it could be just the opener you need. Another is to pick a guy you kinda like, then flirt a little bit. If you are a little young for that one, just try the straight "Hi, my name is," but please, don't make it sound like the Eminem song. Perhaps trying something a little bit more simple could be the key. Try walking up to a guy you might be interested in and complimenting something about him. By that, I mean his shirt, his jeans, maybe his sense of style in general, etc. Don't try a pick-up line that a guy might use on a girl at a bar. Those can be really lame, but one that might work is asking a guy for his opinion. Something simple like, "My friends and I think Axe body spray smells really great, but we wanted a guy's opinion. What body spray do you think is better?" Something like that may show a guy you are interested in what he thinks, or has to say, which makes a great conversation starter. Try to be yourself, guys can sometimes tell when a girl is just trying to get their attention by being flashy. If you need more help, or just want to talk, feel free to email me at my school email address. Good luck.
Best wishes, Jordan- jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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hey sup? alright well my friends and i r planning this co-ed sleepover thing and im 14 so like were not going to have sex or anything and my mom said earlier this year i could have one as long as the parents were there keeping an eye on everyone. and this one wed b camping out and guys in one tent and girls in another. and theres gonna b a lot of ppl and i really dont want to miss out on it, but then i asked her again today if it was okay and she said no way. i told her she said it was fine earlier this year but she said she never said it. how can i convince her nothing is going to happen and to just ket me go?! please help i give 5's! (link)
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Ok, this is going to be a hard sell to any parent, but lets try to break this down in a way that will make your mom more comfortable. First, let your mother meet everyone you intend to invite to the party. Anyone that she doesnt like may need to take one for the team, but if she becomes to inflexible, you have to remind her that she MAY NOT CHOOSE your friends for you. Second, make sure that all the parents that can be involved, are involved. Your mom may serve as head of the guard, if it will suit her better. The more parents, the more at ease she is likely to feel. Third, make sure that the guys' and girls' tents are a respectable distance apart. Talking maybe twenty feet, if it is possible, that is twenty feet from the start of one tent to the start of another. Fourth, be as responsible as humanly possible until it is time for the party, one slip can sink the entire plan, finished and agreed on or not. And fifth, remind her that this is a learning experience for you and your friends. This is not a trip so that you kids can get it on. All that being said, some parents are so inflexible that it is a wonder they havent broken from tension. Letting your mother be active in this event will show her that you are committed to being a good little girl, and capable of earning her trust. If she doesn't allow it, then she may have flexablity issues, and may need to seek therapy, unless you have done something that proves you are untrustable. Anyway, good luck with the party. Email me if you need further help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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Alright, so I work in this fast food place, and it's pretty horrible there. It's a shady company to say the least. Anyways, I've been working there as long as the manager, and that's longer than anyone else becasue they're always hiring new people since everyone's always quitting.
Anyways, I gave my two weeks notice on Sunday, and on Sunday night the assistant manager told the manager that he had had enough because something else had happened. So I had to go in yesterday because my boss wanted to talk to me, in other words, she begged me to reconsider.
Everyone loves the assistant manager, just because he's nice and fair, so I know two guys who are going to quit because he quit. So basically, this place is screwed. Now I feel really pressured to 'reconsider' even though I really don't want to work there anymore. It's just a bad place to be, but I feel bad for my manager. What should I do? (link)
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Legally, the manager has no pressure to force you to "reconsider." That is a blatent use of intimidation. It sounds like that the manager is the reason that the place is shady. In that case, I would urge you to go above your manager and find the number of a regional or national office of your restaurant (assuming that it is a chain), and reporting your manager to them so that they may investigate, and perhaps remove said manager. Don't feel bad for the manager, management rarely cares about the lower level employees, especially on a store level. I work for a SuperTarget, and I dont even know for sure who the main store manager is, but I know if things start getting shady, the number of the national Target employee hotline is posted near the time clock, and in the break room. Just look around those areas in your building, and if you don't find it, then that is another breech of corporate ethics, and you should go to another neighborhood restaurant of your chain, and ask a member of their management, who should be happy to assist you. If your restaurant is a chain, you might want to look up the number of the local office of the Better Business Bureau, with whom you can log complaint against your workplace that will be investigated. Hope this helps. Email me if you need more information.
Best Wishes, Jordan- jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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the guy i really like just got asked out by this girl. i'm not sure if he said yes or no or wheather or not hes going to say yes or no. but im just trying to be suportive to him no matter what but really its killing me inside and i hope to god he says no. i have no clue what to do im so confuesd. (link)
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Hey! I have to tell you, Ive been in your shoes, but reversed roles before. Me as the guy liking the girl, of course. But it seems to me that you have the greatest weapon of all, no, not Excalibur, but the element of surprise. Before you think "surprise attack," let me clarify by saying surprise as in this guy must have no clue you like him. I have been preaching this for who knows how long, but many teenaged males are STUPID when it comes to women. I am getting better, cause I am almost 19, plus I learned alot about chivialry, etc., stuff that is dying out of men of our generation. To go off on a Jeff Foxworthy tangent here, ladies, you are smarter than men. Why are you smarter? Because you think about stuff. You are smarter than the creature who tries to catch his underwear by flipping it off his foot, you are smarter than that! (Still feels good when you catch it on the first try!) If you are not wearing a big NEON sign that says "Hey, dummy! I like you!," teenaged males may not catch the message. If you are going to get a teenage male to get the point, you are going to have to sit him down and spell it out for him. Tell him you like him, and why. The worst case scenario happens everyday to millions of people around the world-you will like him, but he wont like you in the same way. Best case scenario, you two will go out, but if you are still teens, dont bet on a happily ever after. Few teenage relationships make it that far. But telling him is the best way to go. Just be honest, don't worry about the rest. Good luck, and don't be afraid to drop me an email if you need more help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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okay, ive known this guy for about nine years and weve been best friends and never got into one fight. People saiid that WE WERE LIKE cory and tapanga or that we would end uplike that but then one day i told 2 b people who he liked and he got real pissed at me and never forgave me and said go to hell but the thing was that i told like a million times how sorry i was and i rele like love this kid and then he put it on his pro and even told the girl he liked that he liked her and that got me mad.Then he even went out with her and still wouldnt forgive me. Then at my friends bat mitzva, he slow danced with me and said sorry but he still hate. All my friends tell me to get over him but i can b.c now al my friends love him and i rele miss him as a friend and its hard to forget everything we.ve be through together and idk wat to do pleze help!!
From julias friend ali! (link)
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Ok, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but hate is one of the most powerful emotions around. Hate can drive people to do crazy things, one look at the middle east will prove that. How long has it been since he got mad at you? If this has been going on for over a year, chances are this is one of those powerful hatreds. However, if this has been less than a year, chances are the damage isn't irreversable. If this guy and the girl he liked are still going out, maybe you did him a favor by throwing his hole card in just a little earlier than he wanted. You forced him to tell her he likes her, which ended up with them going out. The best advice is this: Tell him how you REALLY feel about him. If you are absolutely crazy about him, tell him. If you just like him as a friend, tell him you miss him and his friendship. If you think you can't live without him...well, some guys don't take that too well. Some girl basically told me that the other day, and, um, yeah. Don't do that. Just tell him how you honestly feel, don't sugarcoat it, just play it straight. Don't get overemotional, don't get all weepy or clingy, cause weeping is for widows, and clinging is for dryer sheets. If you can look him straight in the face, into his eyes, and tell him honestly that you love and care about him, and he can still say that it changes nothing, he is probably one of the biggest idiots of all time, and he is definetly not worth YOUR time. Good luck with this guy, if its meant to be, its will be. Email me if you need any further help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-IronChefRogue1@aol.com or jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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Heyy, I wanted to ask you a question b/c you have good ratings, and you're a guy.
Let me tell you the reason I'm having a problem first: I go to a mostly girls school and so I never really had the chance to converse with guys, and I don't really know how to talk to them. And I am 17 years old if that helps :)
1) Is it weird for a girl to just randomly walk up to a guy in public and just start a random conversation??
2) How come if a guy sees a "hot girl" he'll just go straight up to her and talk to her, but if he sees a nice girl who's a little overweight he won't talk to her?
Ok I think that's it. I've never had a boyfriend (unfortunately) and I wanted to know how to go about meeting new people. Thanks a lot. (link)
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Hey! Thank you so much for trusting me with your question. I am always glad to help. Going to an all girl or an all guy school makes things very tough when conversing with the opposite sex. Some guys just naturally have the ability to speak to women, some don't, same thing goes for girls, some have the gift, some don't. To answer your first question, no, it's not weird to strike up a conversation, it just depends on what type of conversation you start. There are some that will be blatently and obviously weird, that we won't go into, but if you just start on something neutral like "Nice day out today, isn't it?," that leaves alot more "maneuvering" room. If the guy is friendly, he will continue the conversation, if he isn't friendly, or maybe just in a relationship already, he may not respond, or he may be very curt. I don't suggest trying out some random pick-up line, that's for guys to use on girls at bars. It's usually a very stupid, pointless tactic that only really works for the small amount of guys blessed with the gift of "girl-gab." OK, on to the second question. To understand it, you first need to understand the typical modern male mind. Your typical all-american teenage male is a rather shallow breed of mammal. They go for looks, rather than substance, which is something that you obviously have. Ever heard the phrase "Only stupid people are breeding"? Think about all the teenage pregancies you have ever heard of. Probably the hot girl who decided to get a little too wasted, or just a little too out of control, the hot guy comes in, nine months later, all you have is a much too young mother and father who's lives are now ruined. Lots of guys are just out to get some with the hottest girl they can get. Its a bragging rights competition. Luckily, not all guys go in for it. There are still nice guys in the world. Not to toot my own horn, but yours truely here thinks that the blonde Barbies of our generation are ruining the genetic pool, while girls of great substance are too few to help keep the pool from going blonde. Sucks for us guys who look at more than the girl's body. Being even a little overweight in this day and age is like the kiss of death, unless you are a football player or someone really rich. We can thank no one else but the marketing and entertainment industries, who, because of them, we have girls getting boob jobs and liposuction instead of money for graduation presents. Hollywood has us believing that girls have to be pencil thin with at least 'D' cup breasts, and guys have to be completely ripped, toned, and athletic. Alot of the nicer guys aren't completely tone, ripped, and athletic. They may stumble over their words in front of the girls that they like. I know that from experience, I am not exactly the pinnacle of physical fitness, yet I maintain an active social life, even while I too am still single. I've had two girlfriends since the age of fifteen, haven't had one since before the age of 18, and I'm turning 19 in less than a month. The best advice I can give you is just to be as open and friendly as you normally are. Be yourself, some lucky guy will see how great you are! Good luck, and email me if you need anymore help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-IronChefRogue1@aol.com or jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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okay well my friend doesn't really have that many friends nd ALOT of people hate her and like i like her but she can be REALLY annoying. and if i dont put her in my profile for AIM she gets pissed off but then im gunna lose alot of friends if im friends wit this girl so wat should i do? (link)
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Ok, sounds like you are in a lose-lose situation. One way to skirt the issue is to not name anyone in your profile. Not everyone likes to go flaunt their friends for the entire AIM community to see. Personally, I think naming names is like setting them up as targets. If you don't name anyone, and she still gets pissed, explain to her that by not naming names, fewer people will be hurt, you give your friends some shell of protection, and it takes stress off of your life. I can understand being an outcast and still wanting attention, but it is truly selfish to take one person down with you simply because you are their friend and supposedly lots of people hate them. I am not, however, about to say to stop being friends with them, because that causes yet another negative situation. How are you sure that you will lose your friends just by acknowledging that you are friends with someone who is not necessarily class favorite? Better question, what kind of friends would abandon just because you decide to be friends with someone that the "group" dislikes? True friends may disagree with friends of friends, but that does not give them a free pass to associate their hatred for your friend with you. If that is the case, you need to reevaluate who your friends really are. Only the snooty, fake people look down at people like that, probably because of massive ego problems. We all need to realize that everyone is born equally, it is what we do with the precious gift of life that makes us who we are. You need to consider who is more important to you, the friends who would leave you at the drop of a name, or the friend who is more likely to stay with you. Make the right choice, and it will label you as a good person. Good luck.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Well let me start from the very begining. I have a sister who is older then me and she was very shy and didnt have alot of friends growing up especialy no guy friends! Well I am different and I have more guy friends then I do girls! My parents are really picky though and they dont want me to like hang out with guys especialy if its one on one. They say they cant trust me and that I wear to much make up. Well I dont wear to much and If I didnt wear makeup I wouldnt go out! because I am very self concious. Also I like guys and how the heck and I suposed to have a relationship if my parents wont let me! I mean im 14 Im going into highschool and obviously I want to date! I feel like sense my sister wasnt like me they are being way to hard on me! I mean all my friends get to hang out with guys even if parents arent home! I mean I know thats not acceptable and I wouldnt do that I always make sure parents will be there! but it seems like thats not good enough for my parents! PLEASE HELP ME! I DONT LIKE MY PARENTS THIS WAY! (link)
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Alright, first off, your parents probably think you are growing up way too fast. I have to admit, I dont see tons of fourteen year old girls running around with make-up on, much less many fourteen year olds in high school. Second-just because you are in high school does not give you carte blaunch to start dating. Any parent who leaves their fourteen year old daughter at home or anywhere with a guy, regardless if the parent knows them or not, is asking for so much trouble. From my experience, younger girls like to date older guys. Ive met plenty of high school girls who will only date college guys. Now that I am a college guy, I am still not going to take advantage of that playing field. Anyway, your parents probably have a good point in not allowing you to date. You are still young, and may not realize all the potentially BAD situations you could get in to. Many girls your age are still going through that phase of "oh, we talk on line all the time, so, like, yeah, he's my boyfriend." Truth be told, not many teenagers under the age of eighteen or nineteen really knows what a TRUE relationship is. I started learning at fifteen, but I was a super mature fifteen year old, and so was my girlfriend. We lasted over a year, and almost got back together last summer. You need to take your time with the whole "dating" thing, it's not something that should happen overnight. You have to get to know the guy first, really communicate, and by that I mean VERBALLY. Online conversations give you no verbal clues, like tone, pronunciation, etc. Sixty percent of all communication is non-verbal. Thirty percent is in our vocal tone, what emotions show through and what unspoken hints come throught. Online communication is the last ten percent, the spoken words. What people say is NOT always what they mean. It takes time, talent, and skill to be able to read all the subtle messages that people give off by how they say something or the way their bodies move or react. Ok, enough rambling-I will cut to the chase for you. You need to stop worrying about dating and worry more about school. The grades you make now WILL affect what colleges will accept you. I made good grades, so I am now a proud Oklahoma State University Cowboy (Go Pokes!). Any relationships you start at this early an age can end up severly in the longer run. You may not like your parents this way, but I guarantee you, if not now, it will happen later. More than ninety percent of U.S. teenagers find some beef they have with their parents between the ages of 13 and 16. I had mine around your age too. I didn't accept my adopted parents as my real parents. Looking back, I realize it was just a phase, which is what YOU are going through. Your parents will, nine times out of ten, have your best interests in mind. They know much more about relationships than you do, and they will find out if you are sneaking around with guys behind their backs. That said, focus on school and friends. Guys are more complicated than you realize. Good luck.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Me and my boyfriend were talking and he told me he doesnt want me to hang out with Derrick even though ill have my best friend Ann with me.. My bf will be at the lakes. So he thinks i dont know what he thinks. He's asking me if i'd be wierded out if he and Scott hung out with Julie and i said no.. cuz theres 2 guys and 1 girl. its just a group of friends its a 1 on 1 type of thing. Am i wrong in this.. i mean im allowed to have friends.. arent I? (link)
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Hey. In short, yes, you are allowed to have your own friends, seperate and away from the relationship. It is even healthy, especially in younger relationships! It sounds like your boyfriend might be a little insecure about who your friends are. This could result from low self-esteem or a lack of trust. Trust is integral in a relationship. If he cares about you, and trusts you, he should be alright with your friends. If he doesnt know Derrick, introduce him, it may allay some of his fears. However, it may also lead to him distrusting Derrick. If after being introduced to him your boyfriend is still insecure, sit him down and ask him WHY is he so against your friendship with Derrick. If he can present legitimate reasons why he is uncomfortable, then perhaps you should hear him out. However, if his reasons are illegitimate, like "I don't like you hanging out with other guys," then it may be time to sit down and really think out your relationship. Are you willing to sacrifice your friend for the sake of a guy you may, and probably won't, stay with the rest of your life? By saying he can hang out with Julie and Scott, you show that you trust him and his ability to be loyal to you. He should show that amount of respect and trust in you. If he can't, once again, it may be time to reconsider your relationship. Good luck, problems like these are often very difficult to solve. Email me personally if you need further advice.
Best Wishes, Jordan-ironchefrogue1@aol.com
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sorry if this is long but i really need help.
ok im 14 and i will be 15 september 13. this guy name tyler is 12 and will be 13 september 1. he is goin to 8th and im goin to 9th. he doesnt hang out with 12 year olds, he looks and hangs out with 14 and 15 year olds. we are really good friends, and tuesday night he asked me out but i said no. i like him, but i am scared to go out wtih him. i mean if we break up, then it will be weird. and he isnt really cute. but i like him alot. last night he got mad at me because he thought that i was gonna go out with this other guy, but im not! and then his mom told him to get off the phone and he told me he would call me back at 1 and he never did. he hasnt called or got online today either. i think hes still mad at me and i dont know what to do. i told him i didnt like the other guy but i dont think he believed me. what should i do?? should i go out with him if he asks me again? some people say i should and some people say heck no. i have no idea what to do! (link)
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Hey. Ok, I can't tell people how long I have been preaching this, but you CAN NOT BASE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP ON LOOKS!! Age cannot be a major factor either, unless you are like in our 20's and he is still in his teens and it is banned by law. If you two break up, but have a relationship based on friendship first, then it shouldnt get weird. You have to keep the lines of communication open. Tell him that you were not interested in the other guy, and that he is the one you want to persue a relationship with. Just remember, you two are two years apart. You are both emotionally and physically more mature than him, keep that in mind if you two try to move forward. Don't go too fast, and you may end up lasting much longer. Keep friendship your first priority! Good luck.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Basically I'm sick to death of my family. I really need to get away from them for just a little while. I love them, but for the moment, we aren't getting along too well. None of my friends are around and I'm not allowed to go anywhere without my parents.
Info that might help:
I have 2 younger brothers that constantly fight, and an older brother. My dad is in another state for the next few days, but my mom is here.
help me please! (link)
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Alright, I completely understand what you are going through. My family and I have never really gotten along, but there is still the underlying love. My trick is avoidance. I avoid my family by reading, playing video games, watching TV, and talking to my friends online. Of course, work and getting ready for college also keep me busy. If you are fifteen or older, you could look into getting a summer job until school starts, or you could go out exercising or playing sports. Families all go through their phases of "sanity." Siblings tend to get better, while parents tend to get worse, until about their 70's or whenever they become grandparents, as long as its not too early! Im not saying that making your parents into grandparents fixes everything instantly, so don't do anything...premature. I dont know about your family, but in mine, my father is the rational one, and is often with me about my opinions of my mother, the not so sane one. Have patience with them, and don't lower yourself to their level by yelling back at them. If your mother yells at you, simply listen to her, and fight the temptation to yell back. Just avoid them as much as possible. Once school starts back up, things will be better. Good luck with your family. Email me if you want more advice.
Best Wishes-Jordan-ironchefrogue1@aol.com
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