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meeting my mom.
15-f: well ive been dating a guy for 4 months and my parents are divorced...My mom says that i cannot hangout with him outside of school unless he comes over and "has dinner with us" an she meets his parents as well. My dad told me that unless he's "putting a ring on my finger" then he doesnt have to meet him like the way my mom wants to. soo thats the only way i see him is on my dad's day's..and im not with him that much. I guess my question here is should u continue seeing him at my dads, or should he finally meet my mom...[ps]my mom and i dont get along at all.
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i think he should finally meet your mum..
just have a dinner time where you sit down and talk about yourselfs and then you can to his house for dinner but get you mum to drop you off so his mum and your mum can talk and she may aprove and this will get her off your case about meeting him....
this happened to me but my parents werent divorced ...but only let him meet your mum if you know its going to be long term releationship.
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Hey! =)
This is a bit of a rough situation, and i feel for you =/
But I personally believe that you probably should try to let your mom meet your boyfriend, no matter the relationship that you two have. It may be that you two don't get along smoetimes at all, but she is still your mom, and believe it or not, she's just trying to look out for you. She wants to be able to see the boy with whom her daughter is =) She probably is telling you that you can't see him unless.. ... ... (etc) because she doesn't want you off with someone that she doesn't know. you know? its just a way to look out for you and whatnot....
I can understand also for example what Grayson (Jordan) is saying... your mom is being a little more strict about it than your dad... but when it comes to the kids, specially girls and bfs, one always tends to be much more than the other. Plus, (i know you're going to hate this) but you are still only 15... and unfortunatelly bc of that, specially viewed through a mothers eyes, a 15yr old is still a baby, and just wants to protect her... just let her meet your bf =) what do you have to lose? if anything maybe your mom will finally be at ease and let you see him more freely =)
and back to Jordans case, well, he is at college, and is about 21 like he said.... and his gf is yet to meet his parents.. BUT what he failed to mention is that his gf's mother was a little troubled about him... and wanted to get to meet him and know him so that she'd let the two have a free open relationship and see each other whenever.... trust me, i know haha! cause i'm his gf... haha! and my mom first thing she wanted to do is meet this guy! and not until she did, did she get off our backs!
so just give it a try with her =)
otherwise, i guess do as you're doing and see him on your fathers days =) and if the relation continues, you're going to get older and then be able to do pretty much what you want =) k?
best of luck! =)
VB
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Let your mom meet him. What could it hurt? Do your best to get along with your mom, not for her; for yourself! It will be better for you if you can help soften the static in the relationship. Your mom probably wants to share in your life, you are her daughter. Sometimes moms and daughters are equally hard-headed, but give her a chance to see what you see in your guy.
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Hey,
I feel for you, my mom and I don't get along either, and she has yet to meet my girlfriend of over a year and a half. Granted we are in a long distance relationship, my parents aren't divorced, and I am nearly 21, the point stands that your dad is right, it isn't necessary until you have the ring on your finger. While it would be in a way respectable for him to meet your mom, it could also open a world of trouble for you and him if your mom dislikes him. I've seen it happen before, and it can only open the rift between you and your mom more, trust me. In the end, its really your choice. If you think you and your boyfriend are up for it, you could have him meet your mom, but personally, your dad seems the more sane one in the relationship, as my dad is in my family. I would stick with dad's opinion, and if you and your boyfriend decide to tie the knot, then let your mom meet him, cause by then, she won't have much say in the relationship anyway. But I could be biased. Anyway, best of luck to you and your boyfriend in the future!
Jordan (jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu)
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Your mom is just looking out for you. Let your mom get to know him, trust me, it can't be bad. Then you will feel more comfortable about being in a relationship with him, and not having to hide anything from your mom. You will be able to hang out with him whenever you can! I agree, it's not necassary for him to meet your mom, but it would be nice, and respectful.
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