about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

My boyfriend told me he wanted to french kiss me 5 times. But i want to know the difference between french kissing and making out???

Well, basically french kissing a sub-part to making out if that makes sense.

It's like kissing with tongue involved. Personally, I hate it.

15/f
Emily

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what are the charges if you get into a car accident while drunk. and what are some drunk driving story survivers?

In Virginia, when you are caught drunk driving, the following occurs:

If you are under aged:
-Breath test shows .02 or higher, your license is automatically suspended.
-Get a nice ride with the police
-Get your car towed (which costs money to get back)
-You can be fined up to (but not limited to) $500
-You can go to court or do community service.
-You can't get your license until you turn eighteen or for __ years.
-You may have to take safe driving classes or go to an alcoholic's class type thing.
-Get grounded by your parents until you are like 40 years old.
-If you hurt anyone, you'll have to pay all their hospital fees your insurance doesn't cover.
-Insurance rates can go up $1000 (but is not limited to it)
-You'll have a hard time finding jobs
-You may lose a scholarship to a college.
-Money for lawyer, getting back your license, court room fees, etc, etc

If you're over 21
-Your BAC registers .08 or higher, you are screwed.
-Basically all that applies to under aged drinkers, except more severe.

Drunk Driving Survivor Stories:
There are ones where they were victims of people that were drunk driving, whether they were a passenger of the car OR they were just innocent pedestrians or passenger/driver in another car.

Drunk drivers killing people, hurting themselves, losing limbs, disabled limbs, mental retardation, comas, etc, etc. The list is endless.

If you want to know more, feel free to inbox me.

=)

15/f
Emily

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what can i use to pierce my bellybutton?

Seeing that you're asking this question, you don't know much about piercings and/or have never pierced any part of yourself (maybe your ears?) in order to pierce your navel.

Therefore, I suggest you go to a professional piercer because chances are, it's going to come out crooked, not right, infected, etc. Even I had to take a re-take with piercing my navel because the first time didn't go very smoothly.

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ive been seeing a psychologist now for a few weeks becuase of my depression. next week, im going to see a psychiatrist and she or he will determine if my depression is bad enough for medication. i was just wondering, how do they determine if your depression is bad enough for medicine? like, will the psychiatrist ask me questions, or draw blood, or what? thanks!

There's a machine that can scan your brain to determine if you have depression or not, but I don't know if they'll use it. Since it's going to be at a psychiatrist, I doubt it.

Your psychiatrist will ask you a bunch of questions and how long you have had the symptoms and try and see if there may be other causes for these symptoms.

15/f
Emily

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does anyone wash their face with regular soap anymore? or is there a special face soap you use or facial cleanser?

I don't.
It dries my skin out and causes more acne
Try using Cetaphile. It's cheap and good for your skin.

=)

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15/f

Things are just spriling out of control right now. I had a group of friends but two of them got into a fight, therefore one of them left to go to another group and the other one is now hanging out with just her boyfriend. The others are just there, but i dont feel as comfortable to hang out with them anymore. They are mostly with themselves now. That just leaves me! I don't have a lot of other friends, other then them. I just came to this High School hardly knowing anyone. What i need advice on is how can i make new friends to hang out at lunchtime and stuff? I am not popular at all..and frankly thats what its all about in high school unfortuntely. I feel so lonely and "lower on the social ladder". Its hard and i really need some advice. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

Either I'm ignorant or I don't give sh.t about the "social ladder" that may exist in my high school. Sure, some people want to be that popular kid that everyone wants to hang out with. But me, I really couldn't care less about it.

It doesn't matter where you are on the "social ladder" as long as you enjoy high school with the friends you have.

One thing you can do is try and have things work out between the two friends. Or find people in your class. Start up a conversation with them, and in no time, you'll get a good start on making new friends. Find someone you know from elementary or middle school. Say, "Hey! Long time no see!" Blah blah blah. Talk about the past. Talk about what's new, etc, etc, etc. Go to plays, concerts, parties, clubs, etc, and find people you sort of know and strike up a conversation.

At lunch, just find someone you know (doesn't matter if you just met them) and sit next to him/her.

There is no magical way of making friends. It's all different for every person. The only thing is to get a conversation going and be friendly. Don't mind much about where you are or where the person you're targeting is on the "social ladder." Just have fun making friends.

Friends come and go, but that doesn't mean that you can't make new friends and enjoy school =)

Good luck!

15/f
Emily

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my flat iron keeps randomly turning on and off.
i have a babyliss pro 1 inch flat iron, not the best thing in the world [it was about $60]. it does have a swivel cord, and i'm wondering if maybe that's the problem?
is it fixable or should i just buy a better flat iron?
and if i should buy another flat iron, can you recommend any? i've heard chi actually isn't the greatest. it usually takes me about 10-15 minutes to straighten my hair with my flat iron at 450 degrees. so i guess i have thick hair.
thank you :]

It may be the plug just becoming loose from the plug (that's what happens a lot with my curling iron)

But if you want to go for a new one, I suggest you get Revlon 1" ceramic straightener. It heats up within 60 seconds and it works perfectly! You can find one at Target, CVS, Bed Bath & Beyond (where I got mine for th lowest price: $25), etc.

Emily
15/f

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i cant see my best friend ever again. except school but were going to different schools next year... so never again and if she goes some where, i cant. we're in the same group of friends and i can never go with them. my mom always screams and yells at me on how much she hates her. all because she made my neighbor and my mom get in a fight over stupid shit, and she says shes disrespectful but shes not. the last time my mom saw here was like a month or two ago. my mom says so much bad stuff about her and she ends up thinking its totally worse or something thats not. i say anything about it and she yells at me then i end up pissed off and cryin for the rest of the day. well my friend is the only person to really understand me. we get along so good and she really did save my life. i used to cut and was in really bad depression and she helped me threw it. then my mom comes and screams at me and it gets worse. the only reason i feel like shit and got into depression and everything is because of my mom. i lost all my old friends they didnt understand me at all they would avoid me and im in so much trouble for that to. and how i act she blames my friend and she blames her for EVERYTHING i do which has nothing to even do with my friend. my mom blames her for me gettin depressed and likeing all the gothica stuff and style and so much that HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FRIEND. my moms making me loose the only person i really care for and i live for and she helps me and i started loving life for a while till my mom said i was seein her to much then my life went straight down to hell. my friend is the ONLY person to understand me i love her. im crying my eyes out so bad right now even me and my mom got in the biggest fight because i saw her today and got so happy. i just feel dead i hate my life so much now but if i say anything about this to my mom or a counselor it will only get worse. i did tell my mom all this well yelled it and thats why im screamin and cryin so hard right now. i dont no what to do. im 14 female please help me its serious.

I'm sorry for the late reply =( I don't seem to have enough time to get on here nowadays.

But I must say that I know 95% of what you're going through. My best friend Angela is my life, no joke. I have clinical depression (before I even knew such a word existed) that my mom refuses to believe and told me to "snap out of", I go through repetitive self injury everyday, and I hate life. But the only person that seems to get me through is Angela (and sometimes Andrew). But after my mom found out I pierced my lip, she blamed Angela for that (stupid, I know). And now I'm not allowed to see Angela at all and she's the only person I gave shit about. I see her at school, but other than that, she has to hide when I meet "friends" at the theater and at club activities. I do believe it's straining out friendship to a certain point right now.

Parents do believe that their child's biggest influence is his/her peers. And that's probably what your mom thinks as well.

It didn't work for me, but you can give it a try: tell your mom that you are depressed because of a chemical imbalance in your brain, not because of your friend. Tell her that your friend stopped you with your cutting and that she should give your friend some kudos for that. Ask her to please understand that it's not just a teenage phase and that if she wants you alive and well, she shouldn't be so blaming of your friend.

From what I can see, you have two choices. 1) Talk to your mom or dad again. If it works out, fabulous. If it doesn't, here's choice 2) Meet her at the theater, mall, wherever you want to. Just make sure to have few people go along with you. Actually, 3) Write. Sing. Draw. Dance. Whatever. It'll keep you distracted while helping you vent.

Even if you guys do go to different schools next year, you'll still be able to talk to her on the phone, e-mail, etc. Strong friendships last, and hopefully yours will, too. If you want to vent or talk or just scream at someone, feel free to email me at xethereal.imbalance@yahoo.com

Emily
15/f

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ok so im lookin for a way to get skinnier because
im startin to look like a white queen latifa
so will someone plz give me tips on how to get a littlier stomach ya know with out becomin anerexic
lolz all answers will be greatly appreciated .

I'm guessing that people don't like clicking links for their answers, but I'm going to have to give you links to my topics because otherwise, this answer would be LONG.

Losing Weight (Make sure to scroll down to get links that work...):
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=365&userboard_id=35415
Proteins, Fats, Carbs, wtf?
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=372&userboard_id=35415
Eating:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=381&userboard_id=35415
Target Exercises
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=366&userboard_id=35415

Link to my forum if you want to look at other topics...
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=35415

Good luck!

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i'm verrrry good at track.

the problem is i'm a junior in high schoo. i have no time for home work because I'm so sleepy and tired and can never finish it!

like right now. i'm supposed to be at track practice, but i have the most homework i've ever had in my life and my mom is making me go to practice!! i need this advice.

i get home at 4:45
eat which takes 30-40 mins. (sometimes i only eat a snack that will fill me up which is really unhealthy and is bad for athletes, i know.)
do my hw, but i am never done.
i'm getting sleepy at arounf 9:00 and can't keep my eyes open and theyre burning and everything.

my mom won't listen. what do i do???

I usually get home at 7PM everyday because of outside school activities, so I feel your pain. If your mom won't budge with letting you out of track, here are the things that I do:

1. If you have slack classes or free time in classes or notes you feel are easy--take out the homework.
2. Try and finish 10min homework at lunch.
3. Over the weekend, get started on/finish essays or projects you know will be due sometime during the school day.
4. If you have free time during track, take out the homework again.
5. Study for tests/quizzes on flashcards..makes studying easy and portable.
6. If you feel tired and unable to go on, sleep, but wake up early around 4 or 5AM to finish the homework in the morning.
7. Caffeine if none of the top 6 works for you =)

Emily
15/f

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i have acne all over my face and now im getting it on my back.
ive never had acne until now (and im nineteen years old)

ive tired a lot of products, and nothign seems to be working for me.
it just causes more acne then scars.

should i see a dermatoligist? and how much does that even cost?

i would appreciate any cleaning products that 100% work for people.

thanks!

Okay, here are the natural things you can do:
Sleep from 9PM if you can
Eat healthy foods
Try to not stress out much
Drink green tea =)

Medication:
Clean and Clear Acne system...or something like that. It's working out pretty well for me so far.

Face pack type of thing you can make at home:
1. Mix honey, milk, and flour. Heat in the microwave for 20seconds. It's going to be hot so be careful when you apply to your face!

2. Green tea + flour

3. Oatmeal + banana + honey

4. Soybean powder + egg yolk + flour + milk (optional)

*** Note that you need to wash your face before. Keep whatever mixture on for 10-15min only. Wash with warm water. Don't do them every day. Maybe 2-3 times a week max. Don't apply lotion or medication on after...The amount for each ingredient--you can eye it...make it as thick or liquid like as you want it to make it.

Oh, another thing. If you don't like using medication, use Cetaphile face cleanser twice a day and at night, apply a thin coat of Aloe Vera gel to your face and other troublesome spots. Make sure the Aloe Vera is organic and natural, though. You can find it at Ukrops =)

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Sooo im going into my freshman year and i was wondering if there is a prom for every year or if its just seniors, and if theres like a homecoming every year.

im really confused can someone explain this to me?!?
:]] thankss.

Yay!
high school!
I hated middle school. I'm especially glad that I got out of there on time because now they have assigned seats for LUNCH!!! That's just horrible.

Okay, so it's simple:
Homecoming is for everyone. There are usually two per year--one at the beginning and one at the end.

Prom is for juniors and seniors and there's one each year. Now, if you're not a junior or senior, you can still go only if you're a junior/senior's date.

=)

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alright this may be a little confusing...
female, 14, 5 foot 7 inches, 130 lbs.
i am alwaays eating when im at home, i kind of have a fast metabolism, i eat because i get bored and i have a gym membership [dont really go that often, i do track in school. but we dont do much] i was just wondering if there were any like natural ways to get me to control my habits, i want to loose just a few pounds around the part where my butt and legs connect also around my inner thighs, i also want to make my calves look bigger [ i know the machine for it at the gym, i do it whenever i go]
i was just wondering if there were like "home remedies" Alsooo, i loooovee junk food, but i also try to eat healthy foods whenever i get the chance.
hope i gave you enough info to help me

Okay, well. Here goes:

Ask your parents to keep the junk food at stores. Don't have them buy the junk foods. They're bad for you anyways and a waste of money. Ask your mom or dad to buy veggies and fruits and low fat yogurt and any healthy snacks you can munch on (like whole wheat crackers with low fat pb, low fat cottage cheese, etc)

When they bring the food from the store, wash/cut the veggies/fruits into bite size pieces and store them in plastic baggies--one serving per bag. Place them in the fridge on the shelf that is eye level to you. That way, you'll be more likely to grab the bag and walk away rather than finding that left over pizza from the dinner before. Do that with the crackers and such as well. The more prep you do when the food comes home, the less you'll do when you want to eat.

Also, when you're bored, try playing computer games (I know, not the best) or read or write, watch tv/movie, listen to music, talk with friends, make wood houses--whatever you find entertaining =)

good luck!

Emily
15/f`

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So, I want to cut my hair short, but i feel that if i do, boys won't like me, because short hair is "lezbo" like. My face would be complemented by the hair, and i personally would love it, but i am just scared that boys will not find me attractive. and at this point in my life i need boys to find me attractive, because i am not feeling very attractive right now. ugh.
so anyways, would a boy love it if i cut my hair, or should i comprimise with just a trim and style? (my hair is down to my crack)

If it'll compliment your face, than go for it!

It'll make you more attractive if it goes well with your features...so why would boys find you unattractive? You can always curl it or tie it into piggy tails to make it fun and cute =)

15/f
emily

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What does "I'll whore you mean?"
Like on myspace when people put that.

It means that they're going to put your myspace page link in some form on a bulletin or message and have random strangers add you.

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i usually have trouble starting striking conversations with my GF and i need help like avoiding akward silences or breaking them or just shownin my GF i care help?

Ask her how her day/weekend/class/break has been.
If that doesn't work, tell her simply about yours--hen I say simply...I don't mean tell her every excruciating detail of your day...just the basics---she might have something to add on.

Ask her upcoming events like a concert or a game or what not.

If all that doesn't work, just talk about whatever. She may just need the time to let the ice melt.

15/f
Emily

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billy has a girlfriend of two years, but he hasn't always been the best with not cheating.
and this past weekend we hung out alone and he made a move, so i kinda responded.
we didnt get in each others pants..well..
but we did make out and ever since then it hasnt been the same so im not sure how to act.
he said nothing was going to change and he doesnt "like" me but wants me..and im not sure how to take it.
i mean i havent told him how i feel about him( i like the boy, pretty stupid yeah..i know) b/c im afraid to lose his friendship.
but i cant seem to forget about that night.
and i wish we had done more and he knows that..
so im aware he's completely playing me and stuff, but i just cant force myself to stop talking b/c we're soo close.
any ideas or just anything negative or not would help.

Well, in my opinion, cheating guys are .ssholes. I don't care if he's the nicest guy in the world. Cheating is cheating and it's not tolerable and should not be tolerated by anyone.

Yes, he may be a good friend, but I think you need to distance yourself from him right now.

1)He just wants to get in your pants in my opinion. He doesn't like you but wants you?
2) He has a girlfriend!

I know that you said you guys are close friends, but tell him straight out that you think you guys need to back away and cool down a bit to get some logical thinking as to what's going to happen.

Good luck1

Emily
15/f

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The boy I really like comes to my b ball court everyday.If he kissed another girl,what would that mean?This didnt happen to me im just wondering because i dont want him to kiss another girl because I REALLY like him alot!

1) He has the right to kiss any girl he likes, whether or not you like him/not like him.

2) If you're so worried that he is going to use his right of liking other people, why don't you go and ask him if he wants to hang out or casually ask if he wants to go see a movie with you?

It's not the end of the world if he starts to like another girl. It's cliche, but there are lots of fishes to choose from =)

Good luck!

Emily
15/f

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Hey all!
I'm 5'4, 145 lbs, but mostly muscle and boobs. I really want to lose some weight. I'm running track, so there is my exercise. About how many calories should I take in, and how many laps should I run at track to be burning more calories then what I;m taking in. THANKS!

Well, the most obvious and major part of losing weight is this: your caloric intake must be less than your caloric output.

It really depends on person to person as to what they should do, what they should eat, how much they should do n exercise/eat, etc.

I suggest that you go find a good BMR calculator (The one that asks you how much of different types of activity you do on a regular day)

http://www.global-fitness.com/BMR_calc.html

That's a pretty good one.
Now, that your BMR and subtract 500 from it. That's how much calories you should be eating everyday maximum in order to lose a pound per week.

Now, if you want to eat more but the calorie limits you, eat more, except be sure to burn those extra calories you ate. And yes, exercise does count as subtracting ___ calories (depending on what you do for how long)

www.calorie-count.com is good for finding out calories for food and exercises you do.

Good luck

15/f
Emily

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Ok so, I'm not really that fat, like, guys say I have a nice butt, but like, I have some squish on my tummy, and it's kinda alot. What are some kinda fast ways I can get rid of it, without like, losing anything on my butt or thighs? I've tried sit ups and crunches, but for some reason they aren't working. Maybe I'm not doing enough, but I dunno. Thanks!

Curl ups and crunches are only going to be effective if you don't have belly fat. They're better for building muscles than shedding fat.

You're going to have to burn off that layer of fat on your stomach by doing aerobics or such. You can do standing curl ups and the like.

Stand with your legs hip width apart, have arms folded up with your hands by your ears...like in a crunch position except standing. Bring your right leg up, bending at the knees, to your chest and bring your left elbow to meet your knee. Do 8 slow ones and 8 fast ones. Repeat with the other side.

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