about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

hey i think im fat...my bf thinks im fat......how do i get him to stop

Take the initiative and try to get some of the weight off. Diet and exercise will help. If you have questions, feel free to ask.

Tell your boyfriend that his remarks about your weight and/or appearance are hurtful and ask him to encourage you. Instead of him telling you how big your butt is, he can congratulate you on losing a couple pounds or taking up a new exercise. If he keeps making the remarks after you ask him not to, I would consider finding another guy since a truly loving guy would not make remarks that he knows will hurt you.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Hey i do the normal riding sex & oral sex & things what are some new ways to have sex.. i need something more to attract my partners... thanks so much

P.S. I rate high!!!

Spooning (he snuggles behind you and comes in from behind), man on top, reverse cowgirl (think riding only facing away from him), sitting on him in a chair straddling his legs, bent over in front of him are all fun. More positions and explanations can be found at the following sites.

http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/
http://www.animatedkamasutra.com/
http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/cb.html

Improving on a skill you already have is also a good idea. Try using your hands with your mouth in oral sex. Vary your intensity.

My husband loves it when I put a bunch of music on shuffle and start oral sex or make love to him. He hever knows how fast or how hard I'll go until the next song starts.

Ask your partner what they enjoy and what their fantasies are. This gives you an idea of what they like (Not all guys like the same way) and what they're interested in trying.

Last but not least, if you're going to be having sex, please make sure to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs. If you have any questions, feel free to ask or read some of my other columns for info.

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i always hear the term "pop your cherry"! Whats the cherry - i know it has somethign to do with a vagina-, and how do u 'pop' it. it kinda scares me and grosses me out if i think about something on your vagina popping and blood coming out. okay well i use tampons so how do i know if my cherry is popped and whatnot. thanks.

Your "cherry" is actually your hymen, a small piece of skin or membrane in your vagina that blocks things from going into your vagina. It's generally "popped" when something goes through it, usually in the case of sex.

It's common to "pop your cherry" without having sex. Using a tampon, falling a certain way, even exercise can sometimes break the hymen.

It's completely natural and definitely not something to worry about. Some, not all women, bleed or have pain when your hymen is broke.

Short of going to the doctor for an exam, there's not really any way you can know if your hymen is still intact.

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hi, i dont have enough money to go get a bikini wax all the time, and im too scared to let some stranger go near that area. PLUS all the areas that have waxing around my house are just those chinese nail places and im not sure how well they do bikini waxes. my question is, whats the best anc cheapest wax i could buy for my bikini area. i want there to be enough to wax for like every week cuz the hair i have down there grows back really really fast. i tried nads but it made me bleed like hell *keep in mind i have really sensitive skin*, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks.

It's always a good idea to prepare the area before trying to remove the hair. A long soak in a bath will plump up the skin and open the pores which will allow the hair to come out much easier and with less pain. The following site has information on waxing that area.
http://www.susanmonkrmt.com/brazilfaq.html

Put some anesthetic cream on the area a few minutes before waxing or take a Tylenol. It will keep down the pain.

Nair has several convenient waxes. They'll run you about $10. Sally Hansen is also good and will run you about $5. Veet runs around $10 or less. Surgi-wax can be got for about $6.

Since you have sensitive skin, look for sensitive skin formulas with these products. Check the label for aloe; that's usually a good indicator that it's for sensitive skin. Try to pick the item with the least chemical-sounding names; they'll be less irritating to your skin.

Another option is to use a cream instead of wax. Most of the ones listed above also have a cream in their product line.

Jergen's has a wonderful shave minimizing moisturizer lotion for under $5. I can tell you from experience that it does work if you use it regularly. Curel has a smooth legs formula that also works great. It's around $4. I believe Nivea and Suave also have shave minimizing formulas.

Note: Prices are from CVS. They may vary depending on where you buy your stuff.

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well I have this friend I feel like were always competing against each other. who has better close and stuff like that it's gotten so bad that we compete on who has a bigger butt I know I can't believe it we don't ask each other who has a bigger butt ,but I just know that cause she's always saying man your lucky you don't have big hips like me.that really annoys me when she says that I don't know what to do I feel so stupid for asking help about this

Tell your friend that you each have your own special features and you don't want to make a competition out of it. When she compliments you on a good feature, thank her then change the subject. She'll get the idea soon enough.

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Hey there ♥ well im not really into stereotypes but basically, my boyfriend is punk, along with his friends. and i am not really preppy or punk or anything, i am just me. but i am friends with his friends and his friends are in a punk band and my boyfriend said he really wants me to go, and so do his friends. the problem is i dont want to wear something stupid, or "slutty" looking and i dont want people to think " why is she here?" so what could i wear.. i have long platinum blonde hair with lots of pink and auburn in it. and i am 5'4 and average with slightly curvey body but the problem is i cant hide my boobs and i dont want people to automatically think im slutty=/... what could i wear or put on for makeup and how should i do the hair? thanksss

You should just be yourself. If you try to be something you're not, it will show and you'll be uncomfortable anyway. I heard a good quote the other day. "It's better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what you're not."

Basic black always works for clothes. Try a pair of black jeans or shorts with a t-shirt advertising your boyfriend's band.

If your boobs bother you, try buying a minimizing bra. They're made to pull your boobs in closer to your body so they don't look as big. Personally I find them uncomfortable, but it's a personal preference.

Slightly loose shirts in a solid color will cover the area without drawing attention to it. A funky pair of earrings, etc will draw the eyes up.

Lastly, people shouldn't judge you by how you dress. If they do, they're probably not worth knowing anyway.

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I used a semi permanent hair color, pink, on my already lightened blonde hair. The pink turned out looking really bad, and I dont want to wait a month to get rid of the color (plus i need to look for a job, and that color wouldnt look very professional) I have no money, so going to a professional, even just going out and buying a 10 dollar stripping solution, is unfortuatly, out of the question. Are there any at home remidies to get rid of it? Ive already tried washing my hair with clarifying shampoo 6 times, and it really hasent done much. Any help will be much appreciated!

Washing your hair a lot will help get rid of the color. I know it sounds weird but washing with dish soap will also help since it'll help break down the chemicals in the dye.

Color-enhancing shampoos such as John Frieda's Sheer Blonde will bring out the blonde highlights in your hair. Lemon juice or chamomile will also bring out the blonde.

If the hair color had henna in it, try soaking it in a 70% alcohol solution, then following up with a coat of mineral oil, wrap your head in saran wrap and sit under a dryer or aim your blow dryer 30-45 minutes, then rinse well and shampoo as usual.

Make sure to use a replenishing shampoo and condition on your hair once you get the color out. Between the chemicals in the dye and all the shampooing you're doing to get the dye out, your hair will be in need of some TLC.

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you see iv liked this girl for a few weeks and she means the world to me..she knows i like her A LOT but i mean iv never felt this way about someone but the problem is like i dont really think we EVER have a chance going out because shes like more a friend and she doesnt like me anymore than a friend can someone tell me what to do ?

I'm sorry to say there's not much you can do. Continue being a good friend and hope her feelings change down the road. Sometimes it takes people a while to realize that what they were looking for was right in front of them in plain sight then entire time.

Don't wait around forever though. You may miss out on a great person because you were busy wishing for the wrong girl.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Ok..I really really like this guy soo much, but we've only hung out 4 times, one all night..and we talk online & on the phone alot..but I don't KNOW him KNOW him..like i dont know how too explain it.. He's cute, SOO SWEET, and funny, well, he's perfect for me...and he tells me he loves me so much and everything. Today he said if we were older he'd ask me too marry him, which scared me..and now I just feel a LITTLE weird..bc I love him, but I don't know him well enough to marry him. But I really do feel he cares about me...but another thing is that he's older than me...and he's had sex, and I haven't and he walsy says "baby you don't know what your missing.." and "i wanna make this sumer one you won't forget ;)" and i'm thinking that he wants me too have sex with him..but he's told me that he doesn't want too push me into it, but he does it slightly...I don't know..

Any advice???

Lots of love & noise

First off don't let him rush you into sex. When you're ready for it, you will know and it will be much better since you waited until you were comfortable. Since you don't know each other that well, it would be better to wait so you're more used to each other and you know he's going to be the guy that will stick around. If he truly cares about you, he will make sure you're comfortable and ready for sex and not push you into anything you're not ready for yet.

The marriage remark may just have been his way of telling you that you're the kind of girl he'd like to marry. I wouldn't take it too seriously right now. Just take it for the compliment it was.

Good luck and best wishes.

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ok this guy that is a friend of mine that i love ( we are planning to hook up once we find a way to meet up with each other more often...) but anyways my best friend told me that i should be callin him all the time and talkin to him all the time. basically give him some space.. and like sometimes when he says he is going to call me back and he doesnt do it then i dont call him until he tell me to or he calls me. is that a bad thing?? but right now he feels like i have lost interasit in him. which isnt true at all i still love him and i want to be with him what should i do?? i dont call as much as i used to because i want to give him some space you noe..but he says he wants me to call more and talk to him more because he loves talkin to me but i dont know what to do.. i dont want to losse this guy. please help!!!

Guys are notorious for not calling when they're supposed to. Most of the time they just forget. It doesn't mean they do not care about you, simply that they have a bad memory.

The best thing you can do is ask him how he feels. If he wants to talk to you, tell him you'd like for him to occasionally take the initiative and call.

If you're losing interest in him, take a step back to see if the relationship is really something you want.

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i went to the doctor to find out if i was pregnant and the nurse came in before hand to ask if i wanted to be or not and i of corce said no and the lady left the room to get the results and then came back to tell me that i wasnt. but that if i didnt start soon to try the test again because i could get a positive later on. i've heard that doctors can tell you that your not so that when you finally do find out its to late to have an abortion. is that true? and does it sound like that's what was going on in this situation?

It's unethical for a doctor to not tell you if you're pregnant. It is possible to get a positive later on if your hormone levels weren't up enough to show on the test.

Most doctors will tell you if you are pregnant even if they are against abortion to keep you from doing things that might hurt the baby. If you don't know you're pregnant, you won't know to eat well and get plenty of rest, etc.

I've had a couple pregnancy tests at the doctor/clinic as well as bought home pregnancy tests and someone always asks if i want to be or not. I think it's just people showing interest.

I would wait to see if your period came before trying another test. Sometimes hormone levels don't come up enough to get a positive on your test, especially early in the pregnancy so trying again later will show if you are.

Good luck.

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ok sorry if this is long but its complicated.
So i like this boy in my class and i have since 4th grade. were in 8th grade now. now during the grades up we have fought kind alot and had to go down to the office once ( clals me flat) but others times liek in 4th grade he gave me this valentine thta siad i lvoe you and and kept insiting we were oging out but i was so young i just didn no. So now yesterday i had a pool party
and we totally connected, he wa sso sweet and he kept insinting i was his partner in chicken ! So i went home, went online and he has a girlfriend! I have one more year left and i think aobut him every day and i just wnat him to liek me too!!


please help!

Since he gas a girlfriend, it's probably not a good idea to date him right now. If he really wants to be with you, he'll break it off with her and come to you. Until then, enjoy your friendship with him and don't push on a relationship. His actions will tell you how he really feels.

Good luck.

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ok here is the thing....
i went to my boyfriends house the other night and did somethings i have never done before and then he went and told his sister(my best friend) and then broke up with me....
what can i do to feel better about this and to get him not to be mad at me and to keep him talkin to me.....
i really like this guy alot........
so dont tell me to quit talkin to him
please and thank you.....
~kashia
:( i wish i could die

It sounds like you've found one of the many guys that pose as a good boyfriend. He's used you for sex or whatever and once he got it he lost respect for you and moved on. Him telling your best friend is inexcusable. Some things are meant to stay between the people it happened with.

In my opinion, you're better off without him but since you asked how to get him talking to you again, I'll try. Sit down and talk to him and tell him you're hurt by his actions and find out why he broke up with you.

If he doesn't come around, take your time and wait a while before getting back into another relationship. Now you know what not to look for in a guy.

Good luck.

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Hi Ummm . . . my period was on the 13th of this month but I didn't have it again and I've masterbated like 3 times and a lot of stuff came out but no blood. so whats going on?

If you had your period the 13th, you shouldn't be due again until around August 10th. It's natural for stuff to come out when you masturbate. As long as it's generally clear, not clumpy, or have a strong odor, I wouldn't worry about it.

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PLEASE ANSWER I NEED IT!!!

What do you do when you like someone and they like you. But your not sure if you wanna go out with them or not?

Thanks in advance

Try a date just to see if it's something you'd be interested in continuing. Let the person know up front that you're not sure but would like to try.

Good luck

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hey im going to start modleing im 13 and well my mom and i want to know everyting to know bout it

i will rate high 4 or 5's

First off, congrats on the new career.

The link below is a good site to get in contact with people seeking models. It allows you to post pics and a brief profile about you.
http://www.supermodelscouts.com/

I've found a couple sites with modeling advice that I think you would find helpful. I've listed them below.
http://www.modelingadvice.com/
http://atlantasyoungfaces.com/faq.htm
http://www.taylormade.org/modelinfo.html
http://www.marphot.com/modeling_information.htm
http://www.cervantesphotography.com/modelinfo.html
http://www.stlfame.com/html/modeling_information.html

I hope these help. Good luck in your new career and best wishes.

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I know i'm a dumb ass cause I don't do anything about it really... and this moral thing seems like an excuse. LIke everyone else I carry on with my life ignoring these things. These things i'm talking about are the people constantly dying around the world. Mainly all the bastards killing people, rapists... pedophiles, robbers, thieves, molestors, child-killers... parents who beat their child for no reason, people who harm other people for no reason... ugh these people, I want them all dead and I also ask why God would allow such an evil to exist as this kind. My answer to this is what i've heard before, God does not interfere in our lives, he cannot perform miracles all the time and just come down and slay all those people. So therefor God created everything and merely watches us, and when we die, we return to him. So I continue to thank my blessings and all the good thigns and good people in the world, but i've stopped really believing if I pray to God for good things or to help the O-zone layer or enlighten people it will happen. What's the point, he cannot interfere in our lives, he chooses not to and its understandable considering he's God. Anyways-- my morals are breaking. I find myself going crazy especially those bastards that make my life miserable. In my high school and grade school there were these people that constantly tormented me for no reason, even made me snap and start getting violent in grade school... then burst out in tears on my first day in a new school, new city. I'm believing to not give a shit about whether what I do is wrong or not, i'm tired of this fuckign bullshit about jail or w/e i'll kill the cops then myself for all I care as long as I take down my enemies and as much of those wretched bastards in the world. I know i'm possibly not capable of such a thing as this mass murder, i'm not that strong, but seriously i'm going crazy with all this shit and all these social problems, friends backstabbing, relationships gone wrong, physical illness is consuming my life as well now and possibly cancer, but that's an uncertainty. I don't want to die with a frown, and hating the world which has destroyed me. My family knows nothing because everyday im smiling and happy, my true friends know nothing because im always smiling and happy. Im the energetic bastard that runs around like he is on crack, willing to try new things and cracking up jokes 24/7 yet it hurts so fucking much especailly the fact that i'm unable to truly trust people. This girl.. I can't get into a relationship with her, I want to, but everytime I think about it I always feel wrong. My dreams, if involve her, I remembre them all they usually involve us being together and her cheating on me, or something happening of that sort. I cannot rest in peace and it would be best if I had no exist because this is just killing me so much, it hurts, it hurts so. Yet I cannot kill myself, for one reason and one reason only, not only have I not made up to my family whom I love and cherish as my treasure. I haven't done so well in school, of lack of motivation and sheer laziness but that's changing slwoly. I want to impress my family, live up to their kindness and efforts to raise a good successful child, and make them proud and happy before they meet their end. To make money and settle any fees they have and just make their lives good, to have children and hope they do not share the same wretched fate as me. Oh woes me, I am wretched in the inside, my mind? It dreams of death and perverted incidents with some of my friends whom I care about and want to be with yet I cannot bring myself to admit my liking to them. Destroy me, free me, yet if that is so I will never be able to repay my family for being the only people who I can assure trust in. If they were to fail me as well.. I don't know what I'd do.

It seems to me that you're holding a lot of anger inside you. Coming here for advice is good, but I think it would be better if someone in your day-to-day life knows this. They can talk to you about how you're feeling and how best to deal with it or even help you seek counseling if your anger issues are more than they can deal with.

People are not perfect. When you have doubts about God, remember that He gives us a choice to live his way or choose your own way. These people that you mentioned are choosing their own way. I know it seems hard but God has a reason for putting people through trials, even if we can't see the reason ourselves. Trials in life make us much stronger people and we learn from our experiences.

I went through a brief period of doubting God when one of my best friends died in a car wreck. She had her seatbelt on but hit her head on a tree at the window and I wondered why such a senseless thing could happen to her. After talking to both my parents and my youth minister, I realized that her death made me more careful when I drive and that I now don't waste time on petty things since you never know which day is your last.

I hope this helps. Best wishes. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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theres a pool party coming up in about 2 weeks i was wondering if there were any cellulite removing excersizes or creams that would work quickly! or atleast minimize it, I only have a LITTLE under my butt, im not fat or anything, its just embarrassing!! please help me!

There are some creams on the market that will help diminish the appearance of cellulite. These often only work for so long then they wear off. Try looking for a cellulite reducing, skin firming cream.

Another option is to drink LOTS of water. It will help break down the fat and cellulite.

Lunges, squats, running, and stair climbing will all help tone the area.

The following site has an article on cellulite as well as many links to other sites.

http://www.celluliteadvice.com/directory/how-can-i-get-rid-of-cellulite.shtml

As a last option, consider a bathing suit that has the skirt wrap. It will conceal the area while still making you look good in a bathing suit.

Hope this helps. Good luck with your party.

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okay.

i asked my b/f what he wants, and he always says, whatever you want, and we have been doing w/e i want, i keep asking him and i ask him so much he gets mad, i mean, does he even care? please help me...i will rate SO fucking high.

Been there before hon. The best thing to do is tell him you that you want to try something he likes or can teach you. Do this before you're actually in the situation of trying to figure out what to do.

Another option is to tell him to surprise you. You may not always get what you expected (I got took deer hunting on a cold, freezing wind day lol.) but at least you're spending the time together and he's getting to do something he enjoys.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Ok, me and this girl have been talkin' 4 a while now (for like 6 months). We were just friends at first but I've always liked her. She's been in really bad relationships and thinks men are dogs and will treat her like dirt. I really like her though and I wouldn't do anything like that. I like her too much. Plus I'm not even that kinda guy. I wanna love her and show her trust, honesty, and loyalty. She's been so hurt that she can't see that I wouldn't do that to her. I wanna be with her; she is the most incredible girl I've ever met. On top of that I think I like her so much it might be turning into Love. I need some GOOD advice. Help!
P.S. I'll rate high.

The best thing you can do is be patient with her and give her time to realize that you're not like those other guys. I myself went through some bad relationships and it took a while for my husband to convince me that love was worth trying again.

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