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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Why do people bully poaple with special needs I'm thirteen my name is angel I have special needs I have ADHD and 2 types of autism and odd and bypolar disorder everyone bully's me because I have special needs what should I do?

You have asked a question that people have been trying to answer for as long as Bullying has been going on. My own answer to the question is that anyone that is different than they are scares them. If that person is weaker than they are then they pick on them to try and scare them off.

As I found out a long time ago bullies are actually some of the biggest baby's you will ever meet. After high school I joined a fire department. One night we were called to a bar by police to fix up the wounded after a bar fight. There on the floor was the biggest bully in my high school crying like a baby. As I tended to his injuries he kept yelling "don't hurt me, don't hurt me." I would have liked to hurt him for all the years of hurt he put on me and others but I was a professional and did my job.

What I'm saying is a bully can only bully you if you let them. If it stops being fun for them they will stop bullying you. IF you’re being bullied in school forget what they say as to not telling a teacher or principal. Tell a teacher or principal. The reason they scare you into not telling is they don't want to get in trouble and possibly be expelled. Schools have a zero tolerance for bullying.

If it is happening outside of school and you know the names of the kids; call the police. Bullying is a crime and they can be arrested and have to tell a judge why they are harassing you, the legal term for bullying. If they think getting in trouble at school is bad just wait until a judge punishes them.

Of course you should always tell your parents what is happening to you. But if your parents aren't around say while you are in school you go to a teacher or the principal. If it happens away from home and you're scared use your cell phone to call the police. When you get home you tell your parents so they can follow up and make sure the kids are properly punished.

I believe that I may have a half sister. I know my father was not the most faithful of partners and I remember seeing a picture of his high school"friend" and her daughter. She shared many traits with my dad, and her mother was unmarried. I'm not certain how to figure out if I really do have a half sibling. Any advice?

If you know the name of the mother and the approximate age of the child you could check birth records which are public records. It is possible the mother listed the name of the father on the Birth Certificate.

Other than that follow Razhie's advice.

Why won't my mum let me get my ears pierced? I'm 12 and all my friends have them done. I've been asking her for ages, but she won't let me. Me and my best friend started asking our parents at the same time and shehas them done, but I dont ! What should I do and\or how to persuade her? Thank you x

Trying to convince your mom to let you have your ears pierced at this time is a lost cause. Mom has made up her mind and she is not going to change it no matter how much you try to change her mind. In fact the more you beg the more resolved she will be. You don't need to understand that as it is a parent thing we do.

I would avoid saying that your friends mom has let her get her ears pierced for if you mom is anything like my mom was. Her answer is going to be if your friends jumps off the Brooklyn bridge does than mean you have to as well. I never understood that one either but one day heard those exact words come out of my mouth when my son asked for something his friend had gotten.

My suggestion is you cool it for know. In a few months, maybe before school opens when your shopping for school close you bring it up again while looking at ear rings. You might find a nice pear and maybe she agrees. Then oh darn there for pierced ears. Maybe she changes her mind and at the store she allows them to pierce your ears.

So about two and a half weeks ago I had sex with my boyfriend. I was on birth control, but I had missed two pills that same week (when I forgot to bring it with me on a weekend trip) so we also decided to use condoms. Well I don't know what happened but the side of the condom tore on the top (not on the bottom where the tip is) and I was afraid that after he came some of it might have gotten out.

We discussed whether or not I should take Plan B because we figured the chances were really slim that I would get pregnant between the condoms and the birth control, but I decided to take it just in case.

I still got a little scared because my period was a week late, but it did happen so I felt okay. The issue is after my placebo week I was on the next week of my birth control (so I'd been taking it for seven days after my placebo week) and since then I've been bleeding every day which isn't normal. I shouldn't be bleeding while on my birth control for over a week. The only thing I can figure is that the Plan B is causing something to happen? However, like I said, I took that over two weeks ago.

Should I consult my doctor or wait it out and see if it goes away after another few days?

We are not doctors as such we cannot make diagnoses only recommendations. This is the type of question that at the very least calls for a phone call to your GYN's office to see if they think you should go in and speak with the doctor.

While I understand that the plan B pill can cause a period to occur the time differential seems a bit odd. Therefore my recommendation is you call and check-in with your GYN. It is always better to get your doctor's opinion on matters such as this. Better to be safe than sorry.

Ideas for noted to put in a memory jar.

My thoughts are that a memory jar is like someone's personal time capsule. something that a girl might have than a guy. If I'm correct then I believe things she may want to put into that jar would be memories of a first date, a first kiss and other romantic first.

Some other things that you might want to put into the Jar are Prom night memories. The first acceptance letter from a college. Pictures of maybe your first driver's license, your first car and things that are important to you know you might want to share with your children sometime or just be able to relive sometime in the future.

so my parents and their parents remarried with 4 new " siblings " and me, as time passes I developed feelings for my step brother and I get jealous at times when he appeared to be closer to his sibling ?? like I feel that he likes me too however I just get jealous and afraid that he might crush on his Sister ?? please help !!

If I knew how long it has been since this new family unit came to be it would be easier to answer this question. While it is not totally out of the question that siblings will develop feelings for each other it is unusual.

IN your instance I would believe given the new family dynamic it is more possible that problem is one of familiarity not feelings as you mean it. Being a new family unit may feel closer to his sibling just because they are his siblings and you and your siblings are, well almost total strangers.

Now of course this is an assumption on my part that this is a rather new family dynamic, less than a year or two as a family unit. You and your siblings are getting use to them and he and his siblings are getting use to you and your both getting use to a new step-parent. This is a lot of change to adapt to and some people take longer than others to get comfortable with change.

Since you have developed feelings for him you might want to let him know that you have these feelings for him. That it is okay for you and him to have feelings for each other as there is no incest involved. Something else he may be thinking. As I said his feelings for his sibling I believe is more of comfort them romantic love.

So I'm about to graduate from Uni and I have had the best three years!
I've made lots of new friends and had fun as well as being set to get a good degree.

I'm worried though after Uni that i'll be lonely. I've heard some people see it as a grieving process because your so used to having loads of people around and then suddenly they've moved on.

Back home, before I went to Uni I was SO shy and had no confidence. I never used to speak in class and as a result only had like two or three friends. I've not kept in contact with them during uni and might look desperate to get back in touch now.
I just used to hang out with my equally shy twin all the time.
Also my parents never socialize with others much either, and we have no other family apart from the four f us.
So what I'm saying is, after such a fab uni experience I'm frightened that I'll be lonely after uni. How can I make new friends!?

p.s. I'm not shy anymore, and I find it easy to speak to people just don't know how best to get a group together.

Thanks! x

You sound a lot like my son. He was shy, didn't have many friends then he did a short stint in the Army for basic training (he was in the reserves). Then he came home and went to college. He received his degree and went to work.

The military brought him out of his shell, taught him to be a leader. He excelled in his training and again in college. When he graduated and found a job he moved out of the house and made friends with his neighbors and coworkers. He is able to make friends today wherever he goes.

I believe Uni did for you what the military did for my son. It brought you out of your shell and taught you to be a team player, a mixer and a joiner. You will not lose this skill just because you are leaving UNI.

Once you find a job, a flat of your own you will be relaxed enough to do as you did at UNI and go out and make friend where you live and where you work. You will make friends at places like pubs and nightclubs.

This is when the fun part of life starts. No more books, no more teacher, no more late night cram sessions and mom and dad not looking over your shoulder or pacing the floor waiting for you to come home. Your on your own now responsible for yourself and to your employer.

Now is the time to have some fun. You have worked hard all your life to get to this point. Soon enough you will have a husband and if you desire hopefully some children. Enjoy your freedom now or when the children come along their well being comes first.

Or do I need a queen bed?

If all you intend to do is sleep alone in that bed then a twin is fine. As an adult though you may wish to invite a significant other or just a friend to join you for some adult fun. In which case a twin will suffice but a queen allows for much more room to have fun.

How do I develop self confidence? Or how do I stop being so conscious about what others might think?

I agree with much of what Dragonflymagic wrote. For I too had the same problem and I was well into my adult years before I figured out the solution.

My solution was to realize that I need not worry what others thought. That the only person I needed to be better than was myself. Once I realized that I came up with a motto to live by. It is; "The only person I need to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today."

What this meant to me was I needed to grow as an individual each and every day. Even though I am now retired I still look to grow each and every day and I do that by looking to learn something new. When I was working I looked for things that would help me improve my job as a sales representative. It could be something that I could offer my customer, something I could learn about my competition or something new about the people who use my products so I could offer them better products to do their job with.

Those that I worried about as to what they thought about me quickly became envious of me as my sales increased and I out performed them. That wasn't my goal that was a byproduct of my increased self-confidence.

You have not given your age so I will assume you are still in school. Learning something new does and does not equate to school work. It does in so far as if you are allowing poor self-confidence to cause poor grades then working to be a better student each day then you were yesterday will in the end make others see you in a better light.

There are other things you can do to improve self-confidence through learning. Join activities that will help you improve your self-confidence. The two I like the best are the Police and Fire Department Junior Cadet Programs. You not only gain self-confidence but you are helping your community as well and you’re learning something new every day you are working in the program. There are other community based programs that you can join where by joining and working you will learn something new and because of the type of program you will build self-confidence as well.

What you have to do is decide to take that first step and find a program you would enjoy and join.

I need help. I'm anxious. I'm almost 14. I cut and I'm depressed and anxious most of the time. School is horrible and I hate it. At home things aren't perfect at all. I somehow need to end up in hospital or something.. Please don't say I'm selfish you don't know me or my life.. Please don't say you need to go because you're cutting. I can't my mum won't take me just for that.

YEs you do need help and you do need to see a doctor. You do not need parental permission to ask for help. If you want help there are things you can do to get help.

1. When you feel like cutting, pick up a phone and dial 911, help will be sent to you wherever you are at home or in school or wherever you tell the call taker you are. No one not even you parents can stop the paramedics from evaluating you and your need to see a doctor.

The help that is sent to you is the nearest fire the nearest fire truck with firefighter/EMT's to care for you until the Paramedic ambulance arrives. A Police Officer is also dispatched to see to your safety and to see to it that the firefighters and paramedics are able to see you, treat you and take you to the hospital if needed.

2. Talk to a trusted teacher or school principal about your cutting and depression. By law a they must see to your safety if you come to them with something like this.

3. If you can get to a hospital yourself go to the emergency room and ask for help. Tell them you cut and you feel depressed. They cannot turn you away and you do not need parental permission to seek their help.

4. You can go to any fire or police station and ask for help. Tell them the same thing and you will receive help.

Asking for help when you feel ill does not require parental permission. You do not need parental permission to call 911. Help is only as far away as the closest phone and the call cannot be canceled.

I have never ever fallen asleep in class before, and I am a really good student. I am not staying up any later than I have for the past year, but suddenly I can't seem to stay awake in Physics. It's an afternoon class.

It started last week. I was tired, so I put my head down on my arm on my desk as I was taking notes, but my eyes started closing, so I propped my chin up on my palm instead. That didn't work; my eyes drifted shut and my teacher called me out and asked if I was okay.

Today I was taking notes and getting tired again, and I purposely tried to keep my head up, but even sitting up straight, my eyes drifted closed and I jerked awake as my head started to fall to the side.

How do I keep from falling asleep in class? Why is this happening? I don't want to miss notes, or get in trouble with the teacher, and also I'm afraid I might fall out of my chair if I fall asleep....

There are a number of non-medical reasons for falling asleep in class. When I was in high school I had the same problem in one class. The class was right after lunch in an out building that happened to be over the boiler room and got the afternoon sun The combination of an overheated classroom, a full stomach and a teacher who spoke in a monotone quickly put me and a few others to sleep.

If the classroom is overheated which is possible this time of year even in an air conditioned school or it is right after lunch this could be your problem. The combination of the two would definitely be a problem for most people. If so one correction would be to eat a lighter lunch. The other would be to try and find a cooler side of the classroom maybe on the opposite side of the room from the windows. IF the school is not air conditioned and the windows are open ask the teacher if the door can be opened to improve circulation or to open windows if they are not open.

IF this problem only happens in this one class I fairly certain one of the above applies. If not then a trip to your family doctor is in order for there is then some type of medical reason for your problem.

So my gf Is bisexual and she tells people she is 52% gay and 48% straight. I am a guy btw. We have been dating for about 8 months and she has been getting kinda distant lately. she says she loves me too but I'm worried she isn't completely fulfilled in our relationship. I'm worried she feels like she's missing out on that 52% that maybe she prefers that 52% but I don't want her to leave I love her and don't want to lose but I also don't want her to feel like she's missing something or not completely herself. Idk what to do or how to talk to her about this.

The only advice I can give to you is to talk to her. In any relationship communication is key to success and this includes a sexual relationship. Especially one like yours.

You need to talk to her and find out is she feels she is missing something. Maybe there is girl she wants to have a strictly a sexual relationship with but is afraid of how you might feel. It is possible in the right settings for 3 people of different sexual distinctions to live together. Something you could discuss with your GF if your open to that.

This does not mean you get to have sex with the other girl unless she is bisexual as well and is sexually into you. What this does is allows you and your girlfriend to remain together and allows her to have her 53% as you as well.

This is something you would discuss with her if you want. You should talk with her as this is the only way I can think of to resolve the issue you have brought to us.

How do I encourage my boyfriend to get his grades up

There is an old saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The same is true in what you want to do for your boyfriend.

You could ask him what type of rewards you could offer him if he improved his grades. Use the step principal. If he is failing and he improves to passing he gets a small reward. If he improves his grade from say a D to a B he gets a bigger reward. OF course if he improves his grade to an A he gets the biggest reward.

The reward should be something you are able to do and not be done as any sort of obligation. Keep the reward non sexual as well. Just remember though once he has earned his reward he is most likely to go back to his old ways.

I've been deppresed for about 2 years now, and I'm struggling to cope with it anymore. I've already attempted suicide once, but I just ended up waking up in my bed. It's just been getting worse because of the fact I'm failing almost every class in 9th grade because I have no motavation, one of my freinds said something extremly mean, and now I really want to die.

I've tryed the suicide hotline but that didn't work, and I know even if I get help I most likely won't be able to take anti deppresents because my mom had bipolar disorder genes and when she took an anti deppresents she became bi-polor.

First and most important, YOU ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER, just because she became bipolar does not mean you will. There are many more drugs today to treat depression especially the most common form of depression which is probably what you are suffering.

You need to get help now especially if you are actively suicidal. TO get help just pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker you are feeling suicidal and help will be sent to you. The call taker will stay on the phone with you until help arrives. The help that is sent is the closest fire truck, ambulance and police car. Given your age the police officer is there to see to it that the paramedic on the ambulance is allowed to examine you and that a parent doesn't interfere.

There is another hotline you might want to try It is the kids help phone 1-800-668-6868. This group is specially designed to help teenagers with problems they have. To call this number you must be under the age of 20.

To deal with your depression I suggest you contact a Board Certified Psychiatrist. This is a medical doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatry and is certified by the college of psychiatrists to practice psychiatry. This doctor is the best doctor to recommend diagnose your problem and give you medication if needed. The doctor will then recommend talk therapy with a psychologist to get at the root cause of your problem.

I have suffered with depression and I have been cured by working with these two types of doctors. When you meet with the psychiatrist tell the doctor about your mom and your concern of bipolar. It is Important that the doctor know of your family history but it does not mean you will be come bipolar.

IF you don't know a psychiatrist call your local hospital patient referral line. Ask for a referral to a Board Certified Psychiatrist.

Hi, I AM A COMPLETE MESS, I don't know how to explain it, I'm 12, and, ok, I can't believe I'm actually going to write this, but... So, about a month ago I started noticing a zit in my, face, I tried to ignore it but I just can't, and then about 2 weeks ago, 3 more zits started appearing in my face, and now I have like 6 zits. I have 3 in my forehead, 2 in my right cheek, and 1 in my left. I'm worried more will start appearing. I know you're probably thinking it's natural, but, you don't get it, I used to have a flawless face, like a barbie face, and I'm not exaggerating, not just like a normal little kid's face, it was PERFECT. And that's not all... Ugh, so, here comes the part I couldn't believe I'm actually writing... Sooo... I'll just write this quickly and get this over with... ithinkimightbegettingmyperiodsoonbecauseisearchedonlineandihaveasymptomthatiamgettingmyperiodsoon. ok. I always knew that day would come but I never thought about it. And I still don't want to. There are sooooo many things, but that would take me lots of books to write about, so lets just say that the main question is... ugh, i don't like that word so I'll just write it quickly... howdoidealwithpuberty?? Oh, and, obviously, I'm female.

Welcome to womanhood. The zits most likely are part of Puberty and the hormones being released into you and not due to oily skin or clogged pores. You can try over the counter skin cream to deal with them. If that doesn't work then you will need to see a Dermatologist for stronger medication. It is also possible that once your body adapts to the new hormones the its will go away.

As for dealing with puberty that is a very individual thing. First of all understand like it or not we all go through puberty boys and girls alike. Each of us react differently to the hormones being released. Most of us have no problems with puberty and just go with the flow. Some of us have mood problems and others become depressed.

Depression is a part of puberty that your great grandparents call a phase that their children would grow out of. Today we realize it is a real problem and doctors can deal with it and help you with it.

What is really important about puberty is being able to talk to a parent about how you feel. For you I would feel talking with mom is the parent you would most closely identify with. Remember mom went through everything you are going through and will go through. Again remember this is a natural occurrence we all go through.

When your period does arrive do not be embarrassed about it, it is a natural part of growing up for you as a young lady. When it arrives tell mom so she can help you take care of yourself properly. It is normal to feel somewhat depressed when your period arrives, if the depression last longer than that you should talk to mom and arrange to see a doctor.

It is possible that should you become depressed you will feel like hurting yourself. Possibly cutting yourself. DON'T PICK UP A PHONE AND CALL 911 THEY WILL SEND HELP.

I cannot stress enough that puberty is normal and everyone experiences it differently. Of course we are always here to answer questions but mom should be the one to answer questions for you as she knows you best.

Since you have written to us I will suggest you talk to mom, ask her for some mom and daughter time,, maybe away from the house and any siblings just the two of your where you can tell her how you are feeling and she can hopefully allay and fears you have.

I need help with my boyfriend's family ! I'm black and he's white and we've known each other since 6th grade but didn't start talking till the end of 8th. We really started talking at an end of middle school graduation party at my friend's house (we were 14) and we ended up getting really close really fast and he asked me out and I said yes. We dated for about 6 months without either of our families knowing because they're both overbearing and very controlling but about the middle of ninth grade I told my mom and she was not okay with it but I continued to date him. About the start of 10th grade I asked him why I hadn't met his family and he finally told me that they're against interracial relationship. I was so upset and hurt, but I still wanted him to tell his parents. A few weeks later, he did and they were furious and called him every name in the book. The night he told them, he invited me over because he was so mad and he snuck me in. We talked for a while and that talking led to hugging and kissing and touching and we ended up having sex (both our first times). His parents found out (I don't know how) and now they're even more furious and think I'm a whore now ?! What can I do to make them like me?! We're both 16 and have jobs, so it's not like we're doing anything horrible. We hang out all the time when we aren't working. I go over to his house a lot and his parents just act uncomfortable. They're nice to me, but they just seem not happy about us. What can I do to make them like me ?

I agree with Razhie you can't fix bigotry or stupid. This is the problem in America today we don't look past the person's skin to see the real person. All we see is outer beauty or the color of one's kin and not the beautiful person who is under the skin.

As the saying goes beauty is only skin deep and the same goes for the color of skin. We are all the same color under the skin and we all bleed red. If we ever learn to accept this then we will be able to live in harmony with each other.

I live in a community that is just 45 years old. It was founded to be different and it is. Interracial relationships are normal as is interracial marriages.

There is nothing you can do about bigotry. We are born without bigotry or other racisms these are things that are learned from our parents. Some of us learn this is wrong and work to change others hold to them.

I raised my children to be color blind even though my parents were bigoted for I learned it was wrong to be this way. The best advice I can give you is to be cordial and friendly towards his parents. When you have children of your own raise them to be color blinded. If more people do this then we can end the problem of race relations for all lives matter regardless of the color of their skin.

Hi guys. Hoping you can help with any info.

It started around 4 months ago.
I felt like I had something stuck on my left tonsil.
I noticed each morning without fail, it was swollen. It takes up half my throat and my uvula ends up sitting on it.

By around midday, the swelling goes down and it looks normal (ish) size.

During the day, it swells and goes down again.

I've noticed there are 2 tiny yellow, crystal looking bumps towards the back of it.

The feeling of something on it is pretty much constant.

I have been to the doctors 3 times.
They tell me they've never heard of this. I was given antibiotics just incase (they didn't help) and been told it could be anxiety (I really don't think it is)

Had anyone got any ideas? It's making me crazy. Google either says Cancer or tonsillitis! It can't be tonsillitis because it doesn't hurt or have pus on.

Thanks : )

The doctor you should see about this is an ENT; Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist. This is the doctor specifically trained in this area of medicine. If you do not know of one call your insurance provider and ask them to provide you the names of some ENT doctors in your area or call your local hospital's patient referral line.

my mom flushed the toilet and broke the handle and it has split, there is no chain....of course she blames me but she had a stroke and she doesn't remember like she used too..anyway, is there anyway the handle can be replaced by a nonprofessional without having to replace the entire toilet and overpay a plumber? thanks

Go to any Ace Hardware store, Lowe's or Home Depot. In the Plumbing Aisle are all the parts you need. Ask the Assistant in that area for help in selecting the parts you need by explaining what broke. They will help you select the replacement parts. You may need a small adjustable wrench to loosen the nut holding the handle in place. If you don't have one you should be able to find a small inexpensive adjustable wrench in the tool section of the store.

On the back of the package there should be step by step instructions to follow in replacing the handle. If your not sure you can explain what you need and you have a smartphone take several pictures of the inner workings of the toilet which clearly will show the broken parts.

Once you have the replacement parts it should take all of ten to fifteen minutes to make the repair.

Can some one get pregnant by using a condom

Unfortunately the answer is yes. Statistically the a condom when worn correctly is only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. You can increase this protection to about 99.995% if the lady is on birth control.

I'm a 12 year old female. Every day I'll have a nice day, come home happy then when she comes home and if I so much as complain because I stubbed my toe or something she'll start talking about me as though I'm not in the room. She then stsrts asking me questions. She'll ask how I am, I'll say good then she'll follow up with 900 more questions. She keeps bringing up a girl I haven't talked to in months. She makes me extremely stressed out to the point I'm about to have a panic attack and I'm hyperventilating. It annoys me, and the worst part is if I try to explain my feelings to her she'll either just pretend to go along with it to shut me up or start talling about the age. Her and my dad are always making fun of me, my interests, my hobbies, my friends, the music I like, the clothes I wear...then wonder why I just stay in my room only talk to my friends not them, listen to music all the time read a bunch and scroll through feminist accounts on instagram. How do I stop her?

Welcome to the teenage years. It's funny how we parents forget what it was like when we were your age. we seem to remember again when we get to my age as grandparents.

I cannot give you a real good answer as I don't know your mom and there is just not enough information her to make a judgment. What I will say is some parents try to relive their youth through their children. Some parents try to control their children through intense questioning. The reason for this is teenagers rarely discuss their daily lives with parents.

As you said mom asks how school was you said good you did not elaborate. Mom was not asking for a detailed litany but would've like to of heard a synopsis of your day perhaps.

As for your music, hobbies and cloths. Nothing has changed since I was your age back when the Flintstones roamed this earth. My father did not like the style that was in at the time and flat refused to allow me to wear it. My mom had to buy the in clothes for me and I had to hide it from my dad sometimes changing at a friends house. As for music nothing you listens to is as good as the music we listens to. Back when we were your age we had meaningful music. Your parents say this, I say this and my grandparents said this. It is just the way things are. Ours was always better. Just deal with it.

Try and give mom more than just good about school as for friends and other things; try to be a bit more open as well. If so maybe mom will back off a bit.

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