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19/f
So, my best friend since high school and I now attend college together. This summer, we started becoming more physical; ie, holding hands at the movies, putting his arm around me, etc. It was very strange at first, but we both were newly single, so I wrote it off as a nice, platonic human connection.
The other night, we got drunk at a party, and he stayed at my place for the night.
Long story short, we ended up making out on my couch. The next day, we acted as if nothing was amiss, went along with our day, and that night, we were watching a movie. He had his arm around me, and I asked him if everything was ok, and he said that anything more than cuddling probably "wasn't okay". But then about five minutes later, we went at it again.
Nobody knows about this, because we agreed to simply not talk about it. I have no idea how to feel about all this. He's my best friend, and I don't want to be his girlfriend. I would definitely go for round three, but I don't know if this is going the wrong direction/will ruin our relationship.
Help! (link)
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Not talking about it isn't going to work.
Even when people who are simply in a friends with benefits relationship, they talk about boundaries.
So by not talking about it, that would be the first thing to destroy the friendship.
You both need to know where you stand because if you both are on different pages, it will end in disaster.
If you both are fine with just hooking up, then fine. If he wants a relationship and you don't, then that's when you know you need to stop or else the friendship will end.
So talk to him. I mean you guys need boundaries. He can't just say that you guys can't do this but then does it anyways. It's confusing. So get it all out in the open.
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There is a tutor I worked with for math at my university. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. I definitely developed a crush on her but now way would I pursue it or anything because she is already engaged. I guess I must show signs of liking her because she flat out asked me if I like her. I decided to be honest and say yes, and I said it in like a jokey type way making it clear I know she is engaged and nothing can happen, but despite that she now seems to be avoiding me and is somewhat cold to me. Why? Does she think I have no self control? I am not going to try anything. For fricks sake she is the one that asked me in the first place (link)
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It's simply because she is engaged. People have boundaries.
It doesn't mean that she thinks you're going to try to pursue her or anything but you haven't made it clear that you aren't.
I mean telling her you do like her is getting in the middle of things, even if she asked. It would've been rude of her to avoid you if she only thought that you liked her and you had never told her.
Also, she could have gotten advice from someone else. I mean if I had talked to someone about the situation you guys were in, they probably would have told me to just keep distance.
So you should probably tell her that you're sorry about it and that you have no intentions of getting in the middle of anything.
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Normally 13 yearold girls such as me love jeans. Exactly skinny jeans, designer jeans, jeans with Hollister's logo all over it.
Thing is, I HATE JEANS. They are so tight and feel so weird to me! I like loose and free clothing, like sweats. But I can't wear that to school! I ugly enough as it is!
i try every size, but i hate wearing them. I feel the same why with tights or leggings.
I used to wear this stuff but now I hate it, why? And what can I wear so I look at least a bit pretty?
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I actually do know lots of girls who don't like wearing jeans.
You can try looser fitting jeans that flare out at the bottom.
Besides wearing jeans, try dresses or skirts. They're so much more pretty than jeans. Dresses are really common to wear when you get in high school.
And with skirts, you need to find the right type of shirt to match with it, unless it's a solid colored skirt.
Look around and see what kinds of skirts you'd like to wear. They have many, many different styles. So you can find some that fit with what you like.
In the US, it's common to wear jeans all the time. But in Europe, it's more common to wear other things. So it's not weird or anything that you don't like wearing jeans. It's just fashion trends and such.
Then of course you need to take in the weather. It is getting cold out so you obviously want to cover your legs. That's when I'd suggest leggings and tights but I understand that you still get the same feel. I'd suggest wearing more fashionable pants. Definitely look into cargo and cord pants. There are some very attractive ones out there. Just google "cargo pants for women" or "cords for women". I've also seen sweats look nice when they're tucked into a pair of boots and they're a little more fitted in the top.
Just be creative and look for more types of styles. There is a lot more than jeans.
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Hii... 14\F I really like this guy , I dream of him and think of him 24\7. I tried but I just can't get over him. he is turning 19. He allways tell me he likes me and loves me, but i dont really know if its true! he lives far away, but me and his sister are really good friends. He held my hand before but just for like 3 min. He is really cute with dark brown eyes and brown hair and his smile is awesome! He have the cutest little dimples. Should I tell him? Im afraid he is not gonna like me back?? (link)
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Well it's gets complicated because of the legality issues.
You guys wouldn't be able to consent to sex and all that in the first place. And you'd definitely need parents permission. The law is different from state to state.
Either way, it's still a 4-5 year age gap. It's a little weird if he was interested in you in that way.
I think you both are in different stages in your life for it to be serious. Plus he doesn't even live around you.
I think you should get over him. All the girls that say they "tried to get over them but I just can't" are the ones that are stuck falling over the guy for years. It's sad really. They don't really try to get over him. What have you done to try to get over him? You should stop talking to him and stop talking about him.
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hi, we've been together for almost 3 years. he's got a daughter with his ex girlfriend. but when we argue he says, 'they're no threat to you.' what's that exactly mean? and also whenever i mention them to him he's says he doesn't want to hear or talk about them. why? he's quite defensive of them as well. why? help please. thanks (link)
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He's just saying straight up that they aren't a threat to you. That they aren't taking him away from you. You shouldn't feel threatened by them.
Why do you mention them? It's ok for him to be defensive of them if you are saying something that he might take offensive. I mean it his is child and mother of his child.
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So something is wrong with me...girls rate me pretty high in looks and as a person i can't really say im bad.. but for some reason i always get rejected! I asked this girl out, shes been my crush for over a year, at first she said yes but she meant it in a friendly way(which means "just friends") but i didnt know she meant it that way and she didnt know i meant the other...i was celebrating with my best-friend, and all of a sudden she finds out what i meant and rejects me...i dont really have a question...but the thing is..is there something wrong with me?? i keep on getting rejected, and i always get so close to everything but then lose it... Why does this happen?? do girls only look at looks..cause im ok(not thinking highly of myself) but is there something i should know that i dont?? (link)
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I'm assuming you're in high school? Maybe even middle school?
You will get rejected a lot. Especially when you put yourself out there.
But it's really good that you do. Most guys are too afraid of rejection that they wouldn't even dare ask a girl out.
There is nothing wrong with you. This is normal. It sucks, but it's normal. Especially since you are really young.
If you really like a girl, ask her on a date. See how it goes and how well you guys get along and have in common. You will get rejected in the future. But at least you're doing better than the guys who aren't doing anything at all.
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my boyfriend has been trying to force me to have oral sex with him but im not sure, i was going to but it looked gross,ad felt odd, what should i doo? and it sticks too ewww! (link)
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Don't do anything you don't want to do.
You shouldn't be with a guy who is forcing you to do something. It's wrong.
You should straight up tell him you're uncomfortable with it and you don't want to. If he keeps trying to push you to do it, you need to rethink this relationship. He's not respecting you.
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This is regarding to my earlier post that my boyfriend said i changed him but its that i made him promise me that he would stop smoking an try not to cuss or rebel against his parents!! You guys all make me sound horrible right now. I really do love him for just like how he was himsel when we just met. I am willing to accept the real him but im so engulfed in guilt that i changedhim. I hope he can give me another chance but idk if he will. (link)
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It's just that you guys aren't right for each other. It doesn't mean you don't love him, it just means that he isn't the right guy for you.
You'll tell him now that you're ok with him smoking and cussing to his parents but when you see it happening later on, it will bother you.
He's just not the guy for you.
You guys have different values and his values really bother you.
This was a learning experience. You're learning what you like and what you don't like in guys.
You're not supposed to try to change a guy. They will never really change. You've learned that the hard way. It's not right of him to blame you for not being happy in the relationship. He didn't have to stop all that for you, he chose to because he respected your values but he doesn't anymore. He doesn't care what you think about smoking or respecting his parents. He's always going to do what he wants and will you be able to handle that?
I think it's time to move on.
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also is this feeling weird.
my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that
also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now? (link)
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She's your mother. It's a good thing to write her a card. I wouldn't suggest the jail themed card.
I don't understand how getting her a birthday card is supporting a criminal. It's being kind and supporting her to get better.
My brother is in juvenile hall and I've given him a card. It's because I love him and it's the right thing to do. It's not saying, "Keep doing what you're doing." It's saying, "I'll love you no matter what."
Who is saying things like that? Telling you it'd be supporting a criminal? Seriously, it's none of their business and they shouldn't be telling you things like that. Don't get people like that in on your business, it's like their trying to break up a family.
As for why you're feeling that way about feeling more comfortable talking on the phone with her. It's easier to talk to someone who doesn't live with you. At least in my opinion it is.
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Okay so I'm a 16 year old girl and i dated this guy named nick for about 2 months then i broke up with him because i didn't like what some people said about us and i started not wanting to be around him all the time then about 2 months after we broke up i started dating this other guy named jacob and we've been together for 8 months now, but i miss nick alot and i still feel like i really like him and recently ive been thinking about being in a relationship with him again and i think he might still like me back due to our convos, but i also really like jacob and i dont know if i want to break up with him because i enjoy myself when im around him. So i guess my question is should i stay with jacob and forget about nick or should i end it with jacob and try to work things out with nick? (link)
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It's hard when you like two people. My advice would be to not be with either of them until you figure out what you really want.
It's not fair to Jacob.
So take some time being single and figuring out who you want.
Think about how you feel about each one. Who you like more, who you can see yourself happy with.
Breaking up with someone because of what people said about you is dumb. People just talk, hopefully you learned that. As for not wanting to be around him anymore, that was a legit reason to not be with someone.
Anyways, who has the qualities you're looking for in a guy? Besides the shallow ones that they have to be cute, have a nice body, ect. Are they genuinely nice to you and to other people? How do they treat their parents? Do they have a job? Do they work hard in school? Things like that.
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I like her very much, but i never talk her, and also she know about that i like her. But i think that she does't like me because of her no response towards me . But i make eye contact with her many times. And i am madly falling in love with her..... Now what i do? I am from India. (link)
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I don't think you're madly in love with her. You don't really even know her. You just have a huge crush on her.
I suggest you start talking to her. You'll get to know her and then you'll know whether she likes you or not.
If she doesn't like you, then you move on.
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Hi i am Ranjit.i'm from India.i love my girl frnd very much,and trusted her,but she broke my trust.she had a relationship in past and had sex with him.all this matter came out after our 2years relationship from an other source.when i asked her about it she confss that it's true that she had a relation,but her past bf was very rude by character and tortured her mentally and physically and also sexually.she was abused by him.so she feel shy to tell me. i feel very bad that she lied to me that she doesn't had any relation in past,and she is a virgin(which she is not).she also lied about her original identity about her father's occupation,her looks,her background.we met in online at first.she gave me lot's of wrong details.whn i proposed her she agreed and slowly she tell me the truth about her life but not about her past life.but i don't mind it that she frst gave me the wrong information about her life.i angry with her because she lied to me about her past.now she tell me that she was afraid that i leave her and take her in wrong way.so she unable to tell all that matter.i am so much confused with my relation. i love her truly but now i can't trust her. I always support her ,take care of her.but she ruined me.now i think she used me,i had sex with her 2times. I can't understand what to do! Now she say sorry and tell that she love me,and wanted to be with me.and she lied because she don't want to tell her past life.plz suggest me. I feel horrible. (link)
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You're upset and unhappy about her past. She can't change it. You're either going to have to accept it or let her go.
If you can't learn to trust her, the relationship won't work. Relationships don't work without trust.
At this point, this is all up to you. If she's been good to you, treats you right and this has been the only problem then the ball is in your court. This is all on you. You can't hold this against her. You need to learn to forgive and move on from this. She already did her part by telling you the truth, that's all you expect from her.
So either forgive her or let her go find someone who won't judge her like this.
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There's this guy I like but ive never gone up to him or said anything to him. What do I do? (link)
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Start with making yourself feel good about yourself. Like wearing clothes that look and feel good on you. Don't do anything too short, too low, or too tight.
If you wear make up, keep it light.
That's just your appearance. It's just always good to make sure you feel good about yourself and not overdoing anything.
So start slow. Smile at him when you see him. Then start saying hi. Then start talking to him and then you'll eventually be friends.
At that point you'll know him a little better and you'll know for sure if you actually want to date him or not.
Then you go on from there and see if he likes you. It's all good if he doesn't. You just have to move on and you gain a friend out of it.
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Is there any guys who are single in coeur d alene Idaho I am13 and really want/need a bf (link)
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You don't "need" a boyfriend. No one needs a boyfriend. It's fine to want one, but it doesn't mean you go to advertise it online.
There are bad people online, obviously, I'm sure you know. But this makes you look desperate for a boyfriend, especially by saying you need one. So people definitely will take advantage of that.
So if you really want one, don't do it online.
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I'm a 13 year old nerd girl, and I need to know how to get a nerd boy to like me, or at least how to tell them I like them. (link)
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It's pretty much the same way you'd talk to any other guy. Just you guys have similar interests so it's easier.
So that's where you start.
You can't make anyone like you. But the best way to find out if he ever does or ever will is to become friends with him. Relationships always last better and aren't as awkward when you guys are friends first.
So talk to him more, be nice and friendly, say hi when you see him, ask how his day was, ect. Then you can start hanging out with him. Even invite him out with your friends later.
At that point, you'll know how he feels for you or at least have a better idea.
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So my boyfriend and i just got into a fight and he told me that the reason he stopped giving as muh effort in the relationship is because i changed him into someone hes not. I molded him into my perfect boyfriend without any flaws and now he wants to be himself. Since were senior now we have to really find ourselves before we head off into college so yeah. I feel so guilty that ive done this to him and the one time he decides to have a serious conversation with me about it wihtout knowing he wanted a comversaion i triggered his hormonal side. And now were in the biggest fight ever and almost breaking up since i brought up the breaking up part because i got tired of crying because he didnt give enough effort. But i also really want to be with him so much im willing to accept this flawed boyfriend because he said that the only way a couple will last that if they respect each other and their flaws. But do you think hed be willing to give our relationship a try again? Should i break up with him so he can find someone that wouldnt want to change him?? Im in self conflict. We're both seniors. (link)
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I really don't know where to start.
I think he's just using this as an excuse to not putting effort into the relationship. But that's beside the point.
You're not supposed to change a man. Honestly, you can't. Girls get into relationships with guys thinking that they can change them, but that guy won't really ever change. He'll still be the same person unless he chose to change on his own. You'll just end up heartbroken because in the end, he never did change.
You were supposed to accept him in the beginning of the relationship.
What exactly are those flaws? I mean nobody is perfect but if it's a deal breaker, then just don't date him, don't try to change him.
In my personal opinion, you guys need to break up, or at least take a break so that you can learn more about relationships.
It's wrong of him to accuse you of doing this to him though. You didn't force him to change. You just can't. He's just mad that you want him to be someone he's not.
It's wrong of you to try to get him to change.
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I'm 13 and ive never kissed(French) a guy and I really want to ...but I don't have a bf. What do I do? (link)
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This is probably just your hormones since you're going through puberty. I think you should wait until you have a boyfriend.
This is hard to answer since you are only 13. Well, it's always better when you have feelings for someone. You can't randomly pick up a guy off the street and kiss him or something.
Obviously, if you find a guy who you want just to kiss, he's going to want more. Having sex at 13 would just lead to trouble so I think you should stay far off that road.
So just wait it out. Wait till you meet a nice guy who you like and see where it goes from there. It's no rush, you have so many years ahead of you for kissing.
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So I'm 13 and this guy is 14 and we met at camp. He always starred at me and I starred at him. And a month ago I told him I liked him and he liked me back so we got together. Then after a week I see another girl hitting on him and that very night he dumps me. But I still really like him. And he knows that I'm sad but he doesn't know what I'm sad about ...I really like him. Ive never liked a guy this much (link)
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You guys are so young. Guys who are around your age aren't exactly serious and will like one girl after another. It's very frustrating.
He'll probably leave her and find another girl or even jump back to you. But if you did get back together, it's unlikely he'll stay with you and not jump to another girl.
So it's ok that you really like him, but you will move on. You'll end up liking a guy more than you like him. Hopefully a guy who won't up and leave you when another girl hits on him though.
Keep your head up and keep yourself busy until you're over him.
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I'm thirteen years old and female. For much of my life, I have been wearing clothes that I feel are too feminine, and I want to wear things that are more masculine.
Whenever I shop for more clothes (which I honestly don't do often), I stick to the girls' section, because that's what my mom probably wants me to do. But everything in the girls' section is too feminine. I always find myself glancing toward the guys' section and hoping that I can wear clothes from there instead.
I've tried bringing up this topic to my mom a couple of times. But she always says, "No, your clothes aren't too girly. They're fine." She doesn't like it much when I talk about this either. And it's hard for me to bring this up anyway.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is, how can I tell my mom that I would feel more comfortable wearing clothes that are more masculine?
Thanks for any advice! (link)
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I think you need to sit down and talk to her about it. Show her pictures of what you like. Everybody has different tastes in clothes, so I think you need to let her know that you want to make your own decisions, to an extent. I mean you don't want to get clothes that are inappropriate.
So start off by showing her pictures. Also try looking in different stores. Some clothing stores do have a lot of girly clothes but some have different styles.
I'd also suggest saving money up so that you can buy your own clothes. I'm just guessing that she's buying it all for you.
You want to wear things that aren't inappropriate and also make you feel confident.
So just gather a bunch of pictures of girls wearing the clothes you like. It'd be good for her to see girls wearing them. And then look online at different stores with different styles.
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Iv been with my bf for a year now I m 18f and he's 20. I do hand jobs for him and can return to me but i got weird when he did oral on me is it normal to feel that way because I kind of liked it but I hate that I can't return that to him I'm not comfortable at all. He doesn't mind that u don't retire it. were not big on religion but we do prefer internal sex When marriage comes . I really don't know if I should've let him go far I kind of wish we were a clean couple again but its late now I left my self go with his sexual moves on me that drifted me to like it and enjoy it. He says he sees me with him for years and years but I simply can't say that back maybe because I see myself pursuing all my dreams before being with someone. I don't want to hurt him what so ever he was there when I went through suicidal thoughts and many other stuff. He means a lot to me. Maybe I'm not high sexual like him. (link)
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I just don't think you're ready for a serious relationship.
You don't have to feel bad for not returning the favor. It's not necessary and it's good that he doesn't pressure you.
If you're not comfortable with any of the sexual things, then tell him. If you just can't see a future with him, end the relationship. It's not fair to stay with him when you're both on different pages and you don't see him in your future.
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