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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
since i was born ive had a huge birth mark on my neck. it hasnt really bothered me until this year. it makes me so self-conscious. its covered up pretty well when my hairs down, but you can still see it a little. but i do sports all year and i have to put my hair up and it just makes me so self-conscious like everyones staring at me. a few people have asked me about it and its so embarassing. i never wear my hair up for school or dances. only sports because i absolutely have to. i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to get rid of it besides surgery because i know my parents wont go for that. thanks.
As far as I know there is no remedy that will get rid of your birthmark. My daughter has a scar on her cheek and the plastic surgeon advised going to the cosmetic counter at Penneys or Yonkers. We found some at Penneys that works very well, it seems to stay on even when the weather is hot and humid.
What we found was called Dermablend, my daughter uses the make up and the concealor in the little jar. It takes a little experimentation to get the shade right, but they will usually let you try on samples.
Here's a link to order or see it online
http://www.dermablend.com/
Well my best friend and I went on a week long vacation together and I think were really annoyed with each other. I found out everything HAS to be her way; nothing can ever be her fault; and she thinks everyones in love with her.
Now I can't stand talking to her cause I realize all these little things about her that drive me insane. However, I feel so empty with out her! What do I do?
Sounds familiar! I broke off a friendship with someone like this. Her self perceived perfectness drove me nuts too!
You feel empty because you miss the person you thought she was (before your vacation together) When people cohabitate they often find out the truth. A friendship is a relationship, and when relationships end (or no longer have the same impact on our lives) there is a greiving process.
Since you have discovered the real her, even if you were to continue the friendship in the same manner as before you will never feel the same. Her narcissitic behavior will now be amplified because you are more aware of it.
My advice, if you decide you can overlook the things she does and says, continue the frienship on a casual level. No more vacations or spending great lengths of time together.
Otherwise just find other interests and make new friends.
In otherwords, you probably won't be able to change her, but you can change yourself.
I am not diagnosing your friend...but this link describes my friend who sounds a lot like yours.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/npd.htm
My brother is 2 years and he has the flu! I am giving him medicine with my mom from a dripper like thing and he spits it out. How can I get him to drink it...
>.............
Use an oral syringe,(can buy at the pharmacy) have your Mom squirt the medicine in his mouth & hold his nose closed for a few seconds. Most kids will swallow when you plug their nose.
Another option is to mix the medicine with a little apple sauce or pudding and give it to him on a spoon.
My step father has been forcing me to have sex with him for a few years now. When I was 8-9 he brought home a porno tape and showed it to me. I called my mom and told her that it was a sick tape and he threw it away. After that, my dad has brought porno tapes for us to watch and has had sex with me various times. I hate it when this happens, but I've been afraid to tell anyone!! He taps my ass and touches it and stuff. What do I do to make it stop?!?!
This is an awfully difficult situation for you! Of course your Mother has to be told, and if she doesn't do anything about it, the court could find her guilty of child abuse too.
Think of it this way, sexual preditors rarely ever stop doing what they are doing unless they are in jail and have no access to children. Most people who do these things will never get better.
I agree with the other posters, go to the police. Tell the police that you are afraid. They will have to offer you protection from him. It is their job and they know what to do!
Think about how terrible this is and how it makes you feel. He will do this (and probably already has) to another child. I am sure you wouldn't want someone else to go through what you are. Most of all while the focus will seem to be on how terrible of a person he is, don't forget to ask for help for yourself. If you get the right counseling now it will help you for the rest of your life.
Bless you and I will pray for you.
I'm sorry for the length. I just need to get it all out. My parents are extremely overprotective. I'm not exaggerating. I'm 16 and the 2nd oldest of 4 (an older sister and a younger brother and younger sister). My parents don't trust me at all, and I havent given them any reason not to. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I've never done anything with a guy. I only go out of the house for school, sports, and babysitting. When I want to go somewhere fun (about hmm once a month) I have to beg and scream to have my way, and they have to have the address phone number and first and last name of everyone im going out with. and i better be in the house before 9:30 or I'm dead. This applies even if I want to go over a neighbors house for a few hours. And when I tell them I'm just "hanging out" they're all what's hanging out mean. I'm missing out on my teenage years because of them and its not fair. They trust my older sister but she doesnt go out a lot because she chooses not to. They think I should be like her in everything I do from how I act to what I wear and we are completely different. I'm the only one in the family who everyone hates. I want so many things like a boyfriend, a lot of friends, freedom but I can't have it because of my parents. Theyve even installed a parental controls system on my computer to spy on everything I do. I cant have my myspace anymore because of them. and they see all of my conversations with my friends. I've tried to talk to them about it but they never listen to me or take me seriously. What am I supposed to do? thank you so much.
First of all I am going to give you a link to give to your parents:
http://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/lettinggo.htm
You sound like a very responsible teen! I am almost positive your parents don't hate you, it is because they care so much about you that they are having trouble letting go. As the article explains, we parents are letting go of our children since the moment they are born--if we want them to become responsible adults we can't smother them. I have known parents who are so strict, when the child graduates and goes to college, their discipline and rules prove to have backfired! Sometimes the teenagers will resort to lying just to have their way. So the parents end up getting the opposite of what they are trying to achieve.
You already are aware that you are not like your sister and in all fairness none of us should be compared to another person. However, it might be a good thing to have your sister on your side going to bat for you.
It sounds like you need to have a very mature heart to heart talk with your parents. Wait until they are relaxed (perhaps on the weekend) and alone, and ask to speak to them about "a very important topic" If you practice first you will be less likely to get upset.
Tell them all the things that you wrote in the post and avoid using the word "you". People tend to get defensive when they believe they are being accused, such as "you never let me" "you don't trust me" etc. Use the word "I", "I am responsible" "I need to have privacy" "I am not like my sister".
If talking one on one to your parents is too difficult, write them a letter. Make sure you say some positive things about them such as "Mom, I love the way you________" "Dad you are such an intelligent man" You get the drift.
Try to focus on positive words which I fully believe will bring about positive energy (yes we all have an energy field). That positive energy will allow you to negotiate some new rules which at first should be somewhere in between what they want and what you want. As they see that you are still responsible while having more freedom, the more freedom you will get. In otherwords it is kind of like earning it.
Good luck to you and please let us know how it is going.
hey,
my mum is 46 and she gets really bad bruises on her fingers after simple tasks like carrying the shopping.
She will carry a few bags of shopping home in plastic carrier bags and then she will complain about her fingers swelling up, being painful or developing bruises.
I'Ve asked her if she thinks its serious and she says its probably nothing and I'm just worried it could be some disease or something...?
please help
luv rach xxx
She does have a cause for concern. There are several things that it may be, and many of these are treatable. With the little information that you have given I would say this is a serious problem and she needs to see a Dr right away. Imagine if she were in an accident, or received a cut from a knife? It may be quite possible for her to bleed to death.
see this site for more info:
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/bleed.htm
I'm currently expecting my first child and my due date is fast approaching. I recently told my husband that I'm hurt that no one has offered to throw a baby shower even though everyone around us (family, friends, coworkers, church members) knows that we are expecting. He said that I should throw a baby shower for myself. I'm afraid that it would be a breach of etiquette and come across as greedy. With our current financial situation, the gifts would be helpful, but I want the shower more for the companionship and celebration that comes with it.
1) Would you consider it greedy if someone were to invite you to a baby shower they were throwing for themself?
2) What would you do in this situation?
I am not sure if I would think it greedy, but I have never known anyone to have a baby shower for themselves. I probably would be somewhat offended if I recieved an invitation like that, and if it were a friend I would be embarassed that I did not think of throwing a shower first.
However, since it was your husbands idea, involve him, and don't necessarily call it a baby shower. If you did something non traditional such as a "couples get together" to celebrate the upcoming birth. I think that would be more suitable...since it is non traditional for a woman to give their own baby shower make the party unique. No one can fault you for that!
Best of luck to you and yours!
i know that you can take a test to see weather or not you've done drugs but if you did drug when you were 14 and then took a drug test when you 18 would it show up....don't worry i'm not a freaking idiot who would f*** up their life just to get a high and seem cool for a minutes so don't worry i was just wondering
A hair test can show long term hair use, provided the hair hasn't been all off in four years.
http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_info1.shtml
I'm 14 and I have like dark cirles under my eyes i think from lack of sleep and I know sleep will get ride of them but thats hard to get all the sleep i need so does anyone how else i can hide or get ride of the cirles under my eyes thanks.
Dark circles are sometimes inherited--so those would be hard to get rid of. However, have you been checked for allergies? You could have what is known as "allergy shiners".
Anyway, yes, sleep is important and you can always use make up but there are a couple of other things that come to mind. Place cool cucumber slices on your eyes at bed time, or two wet and cold tea bags. Tea has some kind of acid in it that is supposed to help.
ok.. so i know this isnt good. but the other day i had a really low self-esteme and i took painkillers.. how many would like really harm me because im worried..
It is difficult to answer your question with the little information you have given. It will first depend on what specific medicine, the strength and amount that you took. Some medicines like tylenol can cause liver toxicity or liver failure--but the symptoms don't show up for a few days. (but it is still deadly)
You can call a poison control center or a pharmacist and ask what type of harm can come to you because of the pills that you took.
However the bottom line is....what prompted you to do such a thing? I know you said you are suffering from low self esteem, but why? I would suggest visiting with a trusted adult and asking for help. You must get to the bottom of your problem because even if the pain killers did not hurt you, your cause for concern is not over.
i just want to know what this might be...(sorry if this is long) at night or in the dark generally i see things moving like shadows... no one else can see them. i hear them talking... i hear people talking all the time. even if im alone. i talk to myself alot. when i try to sleep at night i hear it and i feel it crawl on my skin. the only way to make the noise go away is to listen to music really loud. its getting hard to be in the dark because the shadows that move scare me alot. wouldnt it scare you if you could see things move and stuff that you know cant really be there. so im getting less and less sleep and its effecting my ability to concentrate on my school work so im falling behind. i just stopped taking my ritlan. ive been getting horrible head aches where sometimes my vision will blur and then re focus. i have a twitch. but only when i get cold ill twitch to the left. always the left. and its just one big jerk of a twitch. ive been crying alot. i never used to cry about anything now im crying everyday. im way stressed out because of all of this. so im not sleeping, seeing, hearing and feeling things that arnt there and did i mention hearing things call my name? yeah i hear things call my name all the time. so what might this be? im really worried... it was like this when i was 7 or 8 but it went away... now its coming back... im not going to a psychologist. so thats out of the question and i talked to my mom about it and she just said that its probably nothing and to pray about it. which i am doing. but i just want some information on what it might be? so any help?
Additional Note: While I gave very logical and sound advice apparently it was not what you wanted to hear based on the rating. Yet someone else (a lay person) got a high rating for diagnosing you. No matter how you rate, I will stand by my advice. See a DR! I am posting a note on my profile about this type of thing. I apologize if you are offended but no one has the right to diagnose your condition other than your Dr.
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Auditory and Visual hallucinations are not just symptoms of mental illness. There can be physical causes too. Combine all your symptoms together--hearing things, feeling things, the blurred vision, headaches, twitching and I would suspect more of a physical/neurological related cause. If you don't want to see a physchologist thats fine for now. The first step should be a medical doctor anyway. He will most likely order some tests and may refer you to someone else. You must be terribly frightened, but people in the medical feild will help calm your fears. The bottom line is you are suffering and need help. Be very insistant on seeing a Dr and don't stop until you find the cause and suitable treatment.
I am all for prayer to help heal the sick, but I think you and your Mom should be praying for the Dr. Pray that he/she has the wisdom and knowledge to find the cause and prescribe proper treatment. Once you get to the bottom of the problem you can pray for recovery--but then at least your prayers will be more direct and you will know specifically what to ask for.
I wish you the best and please let us know how you are doing.
i am 19 and my brother is 18 and we dont get along he has a realy bad temper and when he is in a bad mood he hits me and i dont do anything to him like the other day he strangled me and though me on the floor i told my mum but she does not say or do anything about it so he is just gets away with it and then he tries talking to me and pretends like noting happened and i hate it what can i do to make my mum and dad listen to me please help me.
Tell your parents that you are afraid of your brother! If he has a "bad temper" he needs to get it under control before he is ever successful in any of his relationships or life. Your parents should want to help him, but it sounds as if they are enabling him. However, you don't have to enable him. If you can come up with the means, move out! Or if that is not possible avoid your brother and ignore him. Don't give him the time of day! Tell him that you care about him, but you are now letting go of his outragious behavior and refuse to be part of it. In otherwords from your perspective, the best help should be "no help".
Well lately ive had low self asteem in myself. i feel like i have no chance with every guy i like. im starting too be uncomfy with things i was comfortable like being tall as i am [5 11]. Well now all i think is no guy would go out with me because im tall and black. iunno what to do but i hate feeling this way. i really need some good advice!
P.S last yr i wore lower cut shirts and flirted mroe and was more loud and guys liked me. i feel like i had to b slutty to get guys to like me. should i go bac to that or waht can i do to get the same result?
You will see more results if you are yourself. When you try to project a different image it will show through and people will naturally be a little suspecious or stand offish. The different image may get people to notice you, but will not likely result in any solid long term relationships. Write down all the good things about yourself and memorize them and repeat them. Such as "I am smart" "I have a caring personality" "I am tall" (yes that is a positive) "I have beautiful black skin" and so on..."I have wide eyes and long eyelashes" etc...you get the drift. Once you start to feel these things about yourself others will feel them too and in time you'll magically meet the right person. Most of all (Smile a lot) people are generally attracted to other people who are happy!
ok so I have this friend who is over weight. all of my freinds and I are as skinny as a rail. I'm sure it's hard for her but she doesn't show it. So, the other day her and I went to the mall and we saw these ah-dorable string bikinis. Here is the other thing my freinds and I are all 32 As and 34 As. We don't have big chest so we can wear any bathing suit we want and not look like we are "falling out". Well my freind is a 36 B and she always wears string bikinis. Summer is coming fast and I see people look at her at the pool. She seriously looks like she is falling out and she alwasy crosses her arms over her stomach until we get into the pool. I have talked to my mom about this before but it's embaressing to me and my other freinds. We are so comfortable about our shape and it's awkward a lot. Is there a way i can talk to my freind about getting a better bathing suit without her getting mad at me? It's hard for all of us.
I personally believe that if you are quite comfortable with your own appearance it shouldn't matter how anyone else looks. Accept your friend just like she is and for who she is in spite of how she looks in a bathing suit. If she isn't embarrassed why should you be? Don't say anything and let her wear what she wants.
Ok i am 15/f and i just found out i am pregnant a few days ago, and my boyfriend (the baby's father) knows. now we have talked about me possibly getting pregnant before and we were fine with it....but now i am and we are keeping the baby because we both want to. but we havent told our parents yet....but we are this weekend. but the thing is we already know hes mom is going to be abssolutely furious, and we were wondering about if he would ever be able to see the baby. because my parent will be fine with it, like they will support me and all, but his mom we dont know, so does anyone know if there is a law that says if he wants to that he has to see the baby? and this is in michigan, and i have not been able to find anything after long hours of researching on the internet...now please if you answer this dont tell me how much of a bad person i am and that i am only 15..i will have enough of that just please answer my question...
You didn't say how old the b/f is, but I will assume he is under 18. Legally his parents could try to stop him from seeing the baby since he is a minor. However, by law he will still have an obligation to support the baby. I assume at your age you don't have the resources to pay a lawyer to file a formal custody agreement. So I would advise that the two of you decide in advance how often he will have visitation, when and where this visitation should take place and so on. Both of you sign the agreement and if the parents try to restrict him from seeing the baby present them with the agreement. If the parents push the issue and still refuse to allow him contact, call a lawyer.
I have big bladder control problems...and its starting to interfere with my life...any suggestions? -MaryAnn Sigona
Hello,
First of all it would be helpful to know your age and if you have had children or not, however I will do the best I can to answer this without that information.
There are several reasons for lack of bladder control (incontience) so in order for a Dr to treat you properly he/she must attempt to determine the cause. Since it is interfering with your life, it should be of utmost importance to get the proper diagnosis and treatment.
Many times incontience is treatable. Don't feel uncomfortable discussing this with your Dr. He/she would most likely refer you to a urologist who deals with these types of problems daily.
From a medical perspective this topic is discussed so often that there is certainly no cause for embarrassment.
Visit this site for more information:
http://www.urologyhealth.org/adult/index.cfm?cat=06&topic=172&x=20&y=11
We live on a farm in rural Minnesota. We are a 3/4 mile from the county road. We live on a dead end road. There is a zero crime rate in this area. My husband insists on keeping our doors locked at all times. I hate this and feel I am being locked in as there is no way in the world that anyone ever comes to our farm. To me, this is abuse. What do you think? I also say that it is cruel to lock me in when I have arthritic hands and opening the locks could be a problem, especially if there was a fire.
Aside from having a difficult time unlocking the door, are you being held hostage against your will? If so, that would be abuse. Locking the door for safety is no where close to abuse. Rural homes here in South Dakota (where virtually no crime exsisted either) have become the targets of a new wave of crime. I know someone who had guns stolen from a hall closet at night while they slept.
There are assistive devices for people who have arthritis to make locking and unlocking doors easier. At least look into this so you don't have to fear exiting in a fire.
Key turners. Simple key turners can make coming and going much less of hassle. They typically have large plastic handles, which provide leverage for turning keys.
Doorknob levers. Doorknob levers or covers provide better grip and pushing power. Often made of molded rubber, they tend to fit over standard doorknob.
http://www.arthritisdaily.com/html/hand_arthritis.html
i go to a tanning salon before dances, and i've been going every other day for about 3 weeks. i've been using the same lotion for about 3 weeks also. i went tanning yesterday, and today i woke up with these little bumps all over my thighs and stomach. they aren't red, but they are itchy and you can feel them if you run your hand over my skin. i'm not sure what they are - is it sunpoisioning from tanning too often? or maybe im allergic to the lotion? but i used it all over my body and there are only bumps on my thighs and stomach. what could this be?
An allergist once told me: You can suddenly develop an allergy to something you have used for years, just as you can suddenly not become allergic to something. Allergies are weird that way!
My guess is, you are either allergic to the lotion or something that they used to clean the tanning bed. Maybe the cleaning solution residue was just more concentrated in the areas that had contact with your thighs and stomach.
Hopefully the bed is cleaned between uses or you could have a type of infection from the last person that used it.
To start with, since the areas are itching, take an oatmeal bath (aveeno) and use hydrocortisone 1% cream. If you don't notice improvment in 2-3 days or your symptoms get worse you should see your Dr.
From now on when you go tanning, wipe the glass off well with plain water, and dry it before laying down.
I am almost 15 years old.My boyfriend is 16 turning 17.I dont get along with either of my parents. Is it normal to want to have a child at this age? I talked to my boyfriend about it he doesnt help to much. He has told me he would do anything i want because he loves me so much. I told him i think i would want to wait till i am 16 at least. At the moment i dont no i feel like i want to take hold of the responsibilty now.Ill Rate High. Please help me extra ideas etc would be help full thank you.
I think it's great that you are asking this question. It shows maturity on your part and the ability to do 'forward thinking'--meaning that you think about how what you do now will affect the future.
It is not abnormal for any female to want a child. Most have built in 'maternal' or motherly instincts.
The reason that you--and many others have those instincts at such a young age is because you want someone to nurture and love you unconditionally because of what you are lacking from your own parents.
Being a parent myself I know that loving a child is unconditional, but being loved by a child is conditional. The conditions are that you provide a good solid home for them to meet all their needs which include physical needs. Love alone isn't enough to raise a child or care for a baby.
I assume that you want to be a good parent, and have a good relationship with your child (unlike the one you have with your own parents) So in reality you must take care of your own needs first. Which obviously due to your age, isn't going to happen overnight. (I am referring to education, food, shelter, transportation, medical insurance, a job, and learning how to love yourself)
Having a baby won't make you feel better or "fix" anything. While a lot of young people won't listen to logical advice--and they want instant gratification, such as "I want what I want and I want it now" I believe you must be different because you are posing this situation for others to give you ideas. Kudos to you!
Have you ever thought about adopting a pet? I am not trying to be mean by saying this, but it would love you undconditionally and bring a lot of joy to your life. Most people who love children, love pets too and they are so important to our souls. You could even make it a joint adventure with your boyfriend and share the responsibility. If your parents won't allow this, I suggest trying the idea on his parents. Or if all else fails volunteer at a local animal shelter, a pet store, a kennel or a vet clinic.
Good luck to you and your future!
my boyfriend and i are both virgins. we have eben together for 7 months and well he wants me to go to a clinc and find out if i am alergic to latex..(spell) (the thing that condoms are made out off) and i am not alergic to anythin so i most likely arent. but idk what to say at the clinic (planned parenthood) and i dont know what they will do to find out if i am or not? can someone tell me? thanks.
Planned parenthood doesn't test for allergies. However, it is a very good idea for both of you to go there for information and to determine what birth control method would be best. There is nothing wrong with being prepared, and it is something every young person should do. It sounds as if he is over concerned about the allergy--and should be more concerned about the long term consequences of sex (both physically & emotionally). However he is headed in the right direction by bringing up planned parenthood--execept that you both need to go, not just you.