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overprotected.
I'm sorry for the length. I just need to get it all out. My parents are extremely overprotective. I'm not exaggerating. I'm 16 and the 2nd oldest of 4 (an older sister and a younger brother and younger sister). My parents don't trust me at all, and I havent given them any reason not to. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I've never done anything with a guy. I only go out of the house for school, sports, and babysitting. When I want to go somewhere fun (about hmm once a month) I have to beg and scream to have my way, and they have to have the address phone number and first and last name of everyone im going out with. and i better be in the house before 9:30 or I'm dead. This applies even if I want to go over a neighbors house for a few hours. And when I tell them I'm just "hanging out" they're all what's hanging out mean. I'm missing out on my teenage years because of them and its not fair. They trust my older sister but she doesnt go out a lot because she chooses not to. They think I should be like her in everything I do from how I act to what I wear and we are completely different. I'm the only one in the family who everyone hates. I want so many things like a boyfriend, a lot of friends, freedom but I can't have it because of my parents. Theyve even installed a parental controls system on my computer to spy on everything I do. I cant have my myspace anymore because of them. and they see all of my conversations with my friends. I've tried to talk to them about it but they never listen to me or take me seriously. What am I supposed to do? thank you so much.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First of all I am going to give you a link to give to your parents:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You sound like a very responsible teen! I am almost positive your parents don't hate you, it is because they care so much about you that they are having trouble letting go. As the article explains, we parents are letting go of our children since the moment they are born--if we want them to become responsible adults we can't smother them. I have known parents who are so strict, when the child graduates and goes to college, their discipline and rules prove to have backfired! Sometimes the teenagers will resort to lying just to have their way. So the parents end up getting the opposite of what they are trying to achieve.
You already are aware that you are not like your sister and in all fairness none of us should be compared to another person. However, it might be a good thing to have your sister on your side going to bat for you.
It sounds like you need to have a very mature heart to heart talk with your parents. Wait until they are relaxed (perhaps on the weekend) and alone, and ask to speak to them about "a very important topic" If you practice first you will be less likely to get upset.
Tell them all the things that you wrote in the post and avoid using the word "you". People tend to get defensive when they believe they are being accused, such as "you never let me" "you don't trust me" etc. Use the word "I", "I am responsible" "I need to have privacy" "I am not like my sister".
If talking one on one to your parents is too difficult, write them a letter. Make sure you say some positive things about them such as "Mom, I love the way you________" "Dad you are such an intelligent man" You get the drift.
Try to focus on positive words which I fully believe will bring about positive energy (yes we all have an energy field). That positive energy will allow you to negotiate some new rules which at first should be somewhere in between what they want and what you want. As they see that you are still responsible while having more freedom, the more freedom you will get. In otherwords it is kind of like earning it.
Good luck to you and please let us know how it is going.
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