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Teen Pregnancy (sorry long) but please help me
I am almost 15 years old.My boyfriend is 16 turning 17.I dont get along with either of my parents. Is it normal to want to have a child at this age? I talked to my boyfriend about it he doesnt help to much. He has told me he would do anything i want because he loves me so much. I told him i think i would want to wait till i am 16 at least. At the moment i dont no i feel like i want to take hold of the responsibilty now.Ill Rate High. Please help me extra ideas etc would be help full thank you.
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you really need to think about this & all the consequences. personally i think that 15 is young. as much as you may love kids and want a child, it will limit you from doing other "normal" things that teenagers do. finishing high school will be tough, and going to college will be extremely tough. instead of going out and partying with your friends, you'll have to be at home taking care of your child. it will restrict you even if you love your child, and money will be an issue. you may want to wait.
even though you and your boyfriend are in love, is he really (or either of you) mature enough to have a child? are you ready for that responsibility? are you ready to give up all those other things that you'll never get to expierence that teenagers do?
that's what you need to think about- dont think you are being selfish. having a child will change your whole life.
i know people who have had a child at this age and it is very tough even though they love their children.
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i know how you feel hun. my parents and i dont get along very well either. and ive had the same thoughts that you are having now. i thought about possibly wanting to have a kid. because no matter what your kid will love you and always need you. feeling needed and loved is what pretty much every teenager wants. BUT!!! if you do get pregnant now. chances are that you and your parents will get along even less than you do now...and plus you are still in high school and in todays society you need at least a friggen 4year degree just to friggen survive raising a child. your boyfriend sayin that he'd do anything because he loves you so much is him either only thinking that to get pregnant you have to have sex meaning that he will get some or just pure stupidity. hes only 16. meaning hes most likely not mature enough to raise a child. and you are only 15 yourself. go have fun and be a teenager. dont tie yourself down to having no life. just think if you have a kid at 16. when you are 21 you wont be able to go out and party and stuff because you will have a kid to take care of...and no mommy and daddy wont babysit so you can go out and get drunk without having to worry about coming home too drunk with a kid in the house. they wont. so yea think it through and maybe talk to your parents about the relationship you have with them. try to make things a little better between the three of you. maybe even spend time with them and your boyfriend. all doing something together. maybe with his parents too. all 6 of you. that should bring you all closer and possibly to less fighting/arguing. best of luck<3 hope i was at least some what helpful
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If you do, you're wasting your life.
you'll have to
1). drop out of school
2). take care of it
3). have your parents support you
4). maybe your boyfriend will end up leaving you
5). your not even married
6). what will people think?
7). you'll have to go back to high school at an older age
8). it will be hard to support yourself
9). 15 year olds are no where near ready.
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I think it's great that you are asking this question. It shows maturity on your part and the ability to do 'forward thinking'--meaning that you think about how what you do now will affect the future.
It is not abnormal for any female to want a child. Most have built in 'maternal' or motherly instincts.
The reason that you--and many others have those instincts at such a young age is because you want someone to nurture and love you unconditionally because of what you are lacking from your own parents.
Being a parent myself I know that loving a child is unconditional, but being loved by a child is conditional. The conditions are that you provide a good solid home for them to meet all their needs which include physical needs. Love alone isn't enough to raise a child or care for a baby.
I assume that you want to be a good parent, and have a good relationship with your child (unlike the one you have with your own parents) So in reality you must take care of your own needs first. Which obviously due to your age, isn't going to happen overnight. (I am referring to education, food, shelter, transportation, medical insurance, a job, and learning how to love yourself)
Having a baby won't make you feel better or "fix" anything. While a lot of young people won't listen to logical advice--and they want instant gratification, such as "I want what I want and I want it now" I believe you must be different because you are posing this situation for others to give you ideas. Kudos to you!
Have you ever thought about adopting a pet? I am not trying to be mean by saying this, but it would love you undconditionally and bring a lot of joy to your life. Most people who love children, love pets too and they are so important to our souls. You could even make it a joint adventure with your boyfriend and share the responsibility. If your parents won't allow this, I suggest trying the idea on his parents. Or if all else fails volunteer at a local animal shelter, a pet store, a kennel or a vet clinic.
Good luck to you and your future!
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you'll only want the baby until your stomach is so big that you can't see your feet. i don't know you but i know that babies are a big responsibility. even for a sixteen year old. i've wanted kids all of my life and i have a boyfriend and everything but i surly don't want kids now. imagine going to school and your stomach is so big that you can't fit in the desks. well i think you got my point. wait it will be worth it.
modelkate11
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Yes this is normal difiantly if you don`t feel like you get love at home.. if you feel you`ll have a child to love you thats doesn`t mean it`ll make everything better..Children take more love then they give sweetie.. It`ll be hard for any age.. Honestly, in my opinion you are too young.. even if you wait to be 16.. Don`t you want to finish highschool and possibly go to college.. You want your child to have fine things and live in a nice neighborhood.. Yeah of course there is a possiblity that`ll happen even if you do have a child now but most likely nopers.. You`ll need a full time job to take care of the child and yourself.. Now i recommend waiting til you have the time and money to be a mother..And yeah your boyfriend might love you and all the good stuff but that doesn`t mean he`ll be there for you and a baby forever.. He`s still a child himself he isn`t going to want to be af father so young.. Hope i helped a little bit.. ♥Dez
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please talk to a counselor at school about a planned parenthood class in which you take a computerized baby doll home for a period of time to care for it as if it were real. this will give you a dose of what it could be like with an actual child to care for. you are very young and do not have enough life experience or education to properly support and care for a child. trust me i've been there.
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i went through the same thing youre goin through. i know that hating ur parents really sucks- i got kicked out of my house last spring- pretty much just because my dad didnt want me anymore. but let me tell you- as much as you hate your parents rite now- you will miss them SOOOOOO much once youre away from them long enough. i PROMISE you i know what im talking about. and honestly- i think its completely normal to want to have a baby. i went through that stage. and for real- i think its more of an insecurity issue than anything- dont take that the wrong way- i just believe it is. and hon- if ur boyfriend is tellin you that he's pretty much willing to get you pregnant because he 'loves you so much'- then i think its time you knock some common sense into him. there is no way that him getting you pregnant at 15, or even 16- is guna show his love for you. trust me- it will do nothing but mess up EVERY part of your future. you can get the kind of responsibility you want from many diffrent sources. - you shuld try getting a job, or better yet, babysitting. i think you could learn alot about this decision you need to make- and i hope you make the right choice. xoxo, mikelly4039
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im telling you its your life but, my sister is 25 and has a 6 and 3 year old and she regrets it all. if ur bf wants a child that bad, i honestly dont think hes right for yuo. please, just wait till collage? wait till you have your future later, dont make the same mastake you did. and if you do please... get along with your child but im warning you somtiems if you hav ea child the father will get scared and leave... if yuo need a friend, or just someone to talk to im me on aol MegElizabeth x33 or email me at Meganwags2000@sbcglobal.net
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Well, if you are only 15, do not have a child. Personally, I think having a child at age 16 would be terrible. You are not out of school, you do not get along with your parents so they cant take care of the baby, do you have a lot of money?
Please dont have a child yet.
Wait.
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heyy, I really would not advise that. First, if your only 14 you can't get a job or drive, and it seems like your parents wouldn't help. YOU NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY! trust me, I had a miscarraige and I had to think about all this shit. Would your parents let you live with them? If not, where would you go? and I know this is something you will deny right off the bat but do you REALLY think that your boyfriend will be there for you.. I mean sweetie, your FOURTEEN, if you are to have a kid, youd have it for the rest of your life.. and a guy whos only sixteen, chances are yall won't be together that long. DAMN dude there are SOOO many reasons not to. please dont fuck up your life that way.
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OMG you so do not want to have a kid yet i mean what about highskool or college your man has to support you i hoe he has a job cause after this kid you both will not be able to go to skool inless your parents are goin to support you what i am sayin at least finish highskool cause if you have this kid your whole life will get screwed up get a kid when you are 18 BUT make sre your man has a job cause if he doesn't where is all the $$ goin to come from and you have to send the kid to school THINK ABOUT WAT YOU ARE DOING
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if you are almost 15 & your bf is almost 17, when you are 16, he will be 18. that means you will be a minor impregnated by an adult & your parents (especially if you or your bf don't get along with them) will/can press charges if they don't like the idea of you being pregnant. So my advice is to wait until you are an adult. read some articles about the struggles of being a teen mother... even with parents supporting them, it's not easy! it's just a phase... don't do anything you might regret & have to live with. <3
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Its pretty normal.
But considering you have your whole life ahead of you, and besides your boyfriend doesnt sound like much help. And you had to ask people about it, i have a feeling that you're not exactly sure you 100% want it. Its normal to feel this way, but you got to realize its alot of money, to have a child and you mentioned you dont get along with your parents, so they cant help you out. It would be pretty tuff for you to do that, I personally dont suggest it, for you. But so you know it is normal.
<3 Hope i helped.
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Yes, it is normal. However, you cannot do it. You would be cheating your baby out on a good life. You're so young and you have your whole life ahead of you to have a child. At 15 you have not matured mentally enough to have a child (I'm not saying you're immature, just young). Wait until you have a steady job and can live on your own.
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Your way to young ! 16 is way to young! Do you know what a baby can do to your life? Im really
not trying to be rude but your way to young.
xo Erikanne ♥
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edit:: okay babysitting is great. accually it will make you reconsider your decision.. it def made me think about it
i think every girl goes threw that stage.. i know i have many times
but wait.. its for your one sake.. i want one so badly now but i know its an extremely selfish decision to have one on my part because the child with not have as good of a life as they could have. wait.. alteast till your 18 and can get a fulltime job and what not.
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Right now you only have to look out for one person: yourself. Once you get pregnant that changes; there is now an innocent life who depends entirely on you. "Responsibility" doesn't even begin to describe it. Yes, it's normal to want a child. I did when I was fifteen, and I still do. But real life is a lot different than your fantasies. How would you pay for diapers, food, day care services, etc? How would people react--will they label you as a slut? Will they harass you? What if your boyfriend suddenly decides that he doesn't love you THAT much, and no longer wants anything to do with you? It's too much for you to get into right now. It's great to think about it, though, because you'll be better prepared for when you do become a mother. You should read books, and magazines about parenting. If you want responsibility, get a job as a babysitter. It will give you practice, it's kinda fun, and you may realize that you don't want to be a parent anytime soon. Or you might realize the exact opposite, and decide that now is the perfect time. It's your choice, just know what you're getting into!
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