summerGIRL_xo's advice column

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Q: my boyfriend has a hairy dick.
is that normaL? i'm confused,
i find that discusting.
and he wants me to blow him.

and i wont if he has a hairy dick.
what should i do?

all guy have hair on their penises after they hit puberty,
unless they shave it or get it removed.
some have more than others.
in any case, it's completley normal and all guys have it.

i understand why you would find it gross,
so tell him he needs to get it removed before you do it.
however, he may not be down with that
because it can be painful/irritating/unmanly.
you should talk to him about it.
if he refuses, you can put a condom on him while yuo give him head.. it will help you not come in contact with the hair.

Q: my two close friends are really "out there" like sexual and act really slutty, and whenever were out anywhere i feel like i dont fit in with them because i dont act like that. i have a lot of guy friends and i flirt but im not all sexual like them. i feel a lot uglier kinda beside them, so i hesitate to go up to guys with them. i dont know how i should look at the situation...

any advice/opinions would be great, thanks guys :]

the biggest thing is, you have to have confidence. if you're self-conscious, guys see that & it's a turn-off. confidence is a big turn-on, so if you act confident in yourself, guys will begin to notice you. don't change yourself to be more like your friends - obviously, you have better morals and respect yourself more than your friends do. guys may give them more attention, but that's just because they want sexual things from them and they think they're easy - something you don't want to be. a guy will notice YOU, on the other hand, for your personality as well as your looks. you may not get as many guys as your friends, but you'll get the GOOD ones - the ones who want more than just sexual things. on the other hand, your friends will get the pig-headed jerks who drop them after getting what they want. be yourself, be confident, and the right guys will notice you. forget your friends - you can still hang out with them if you want, but don't try to act like them. believe me, you're much bette [=

Q: my sister is only about maybe a year or so younger than me.but she the problem is all my friends talk to her more than me and always want her to come with us wherever we go.i know its her just makin more friends, but these are mine and she has her own (not to sound selfish)what do i do?

first, you should try talking to your sister about it. tell her you love hanging out with her, but sometimes you need a break. say it in the nicest way possible - she probably feels the same way about you. also, for exampl, say you're going to the movies with your friends, and she wants to go along. instead, ask her to invite a couple of her own friends. you can still see the same movie, but sit a couple rows apart. gradually do things like that, and she'll get the hint..

you could als try explaining this to your friends, as well. say something like, "i know she's cool, but i don't want her with us everywhere.. i hang out with her 24/7 at home." it's true too - they may only see your sister when you go out, but you have to see her all the time, and it's understandable that you want seperate friends from your sister. if they have siblings, they should understand. chances are, they don't even know it's bothering you! [= talk to your sister & them, and it should work out. if not, try making plans with them on days you know your sister is busy, to gradually push her away from your friends.

Q: likes to do fake put downs to people all the time and i never know if she's kidding and i'm nothing but nice to her. (if i was to not be her friend anymore it'd kill the both of us) what should i do?

simple solution: talk to her about it.
if she's your friend, she'll understand yuo should be able to talk to her about something that's btohering you. just say, "look, i know you like to joke around, but i don't know if you're kidding some of the time, and it hurts my feelings. so could you not do so many, or make sure i know your kidding, or stop?" or something like that. chances are she doesnt even realize she's doign it.

Q: i was wondering what are some summer-y songs. like stuff that's laid back and upbeat and would remind you of the beach/california/surfers, etc.

hawk nelson - california
mae - summertime
thirsy merc - summertime
dashboard confessional - warmth of the sand
sweetjames - california
yellowcard - ocean avenue
dante thomas - miss california
soulkid #1 - more bounce in california
california grace - longbeach shortbus
atherton - california

theres alot more too

Q: yeah so my friend gave this kidd head can she get preguant from that?

there's no possible way you can get pregnant from head.

Q: what are the bases? like sexually. what do you do to be at first base, what do you do to be at second base, what happens to be at third, and to be at home.

1st - making out/french kissing
2nd - touching the girls chest
3rd - blow job/fingering/oral
4th - sexual intercourse

Q: i know a lot of people go to sleepaway summer camps for like the entire summer and just love it. well i have never been to one and i definitely dont think i would want to go all summer. but i really want a way to get out there and meet new people, make more friends and have fun. are there any sleep away camps like this that only go for a short period of time? like maybe a week or 2? i want to go but i am kind of shy at first and im not too good at talking to new people, so i think i would try to convince a friend of mine to go with me. do you think it would be a good idea? and any other suggestions, thanks

well, i don't know where you live, so it's kind of hard to suggest camps. around here, i know of Sandy Hill camp that alot of people really like. some people go to religious camps (that aren't all about religion), like Camp Sakinac. at these camps, you can go for 1, 2 or more weeks.

i went to a sleepover camp for one week. it was so much fun! =] the people in your cabin, and other people in the camp, you automatically become friends with since youre stuck with them & only them for awhile. it's nice to meet new people, and if you really connect with someone, you might end up talking to them for along time after you leave camp. its really alot of fun - you wont regret it, it's a good expierence to have. also, i went with a friend to my camp, because it was just easier for me to go with someone. there were plenty of people there that idnd't go with someone though, and they made alot of friends just fine and had a great time. for your first time, you probably would wanna go with someone though.

like that one saying goes, "you go to camp missing your family, and you come home missing your new family" so many people have so much fun at camp! you should totally go. just research camps in your area, read what they're about. if you ahve a specific interest (sports, dance, horseback riding) there are sleepaway camps for that. but there are also just sleepaway camps that have a variety of stuff. aynway have fun

Q: or the clique
thanks =]

The A-List
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
The Au Pairs
It Girls
Summer Boys
California Holiday
Spanish Holiday
(those kind of books)

there's also this one series, about a British girl i think? i forget the series name but one of the titles is, "Away Laughing on a Fast Camel", and another is "My boyfriend is a sex God" or something like that.

Q: 13/f

On tuesday, which is a couple days away, my friend is having a mixed boys and girls sleepover with like 15 people and we are going to try to pull an all nighter cos we're staying in her caravan and there's hardly enough room for us to all sleep in there.
I am crap at staying awake, so I would like some tips on how to do it.

I thought maybe it would be best if I got lots of sleep so I wouldn't be tired on tuesday but then I thought that I would get into that routine and my body clock would tell me to go to sleep early tuesday night, so maybe I should start going to bed later? Or maybe I should just go to sleep the usual time?

There is going to be alcohol there, how much should I drink? It's a depressant so If I drink lots will it make me more tired?

And I would like to know how I can get into a normal routine after tuesday night.
So if you have any tips on how to stay awake then please tell me, and answer the questions above please. Thanks in advance, xxx

I've heard that some alcohol can make you tired - so watch out for that. Red bull, and other energy drinks (like that one 7-up makes, I forget waht it's called) can make you stay up later if you drink them later on during the night. Frappochunios and coffee, soda with caffiene, the usual can make you stay up later. As for candy & sugary foods - they are only good to have when it's like, late. If you have them too early they'll make you hyper for a while, but then youre energy will crash and you'll be tired. So eat them later on in the night.

If your like watching a movie, try to sit up - but don't lay down because it'll make you fall asleep or become more tired. Try to keep your eyes open because once you close them for a little bit you'll probably fall asleep. If you're really tired & can't keep your eyes open, splash water on your face.

Try staying up later tonight, but not too too late. Then, get your extra sleep on Monday. Before you go, if your tired, you may even want to take a nap. Then, after you wake up, drink or eat something that will give you energy.

Moving around can also boost your energy, so if you've been sitting/hanging around for awhile just get up for alittle bit.

Q: SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT I REALLLLLYYY NEED HELP!!!

okay i have no clue what to do anymore so yeahh...

theres this girl and lets just call her "betty"

okay so betty and i have been best friends since we were reallllyyy little we were more like sisters and suddenly things have changed well im a year older than her so i knew it would be hard to stay friends when i went to highschool and she was still in eigth grade but i made time to hang out with her EVERY weekend and was so happy when she finally grad. i couldnt wait for her to come to high school

when she first got to high school she was acting weird and i told her she wasnt acting like herself and she fixed it then everything was fine until about 2 or 3 months ago when she decided to do cheerleading...

she met lots of guys while doing cheerleading and met other guys through the basketball ones but she had a boyfriend (who i HATED -- he treated her like dirt but she said she really liked him so i dealt) ANYWAYS...

we got into a fight because she was never around and was acting different AGAIN. during the fight she called me and said you know what if you dont think i care then your crazy to prove it ill tell you something only "mary"(her other close friend who always tryed to take my place in "betty"s life) knows so she told me that she had broken up wwith her bf. because she had UNPROTECTED sex with another guy and she felt bad about cheating and couldnt tell him.

i was SHOCKED because i havent even had sex and shes a year younger... so anyway i got worried that she was pregnant but it turned out she wasnt and the guy she had sex with was a JERK so then she kinda blew me off more and more for "mary" and then i found out she was getting drunk and stumbling around town like that on the weekends and later found out she was smoking weed.

between all this madness we had many fights and i told her she was ruining her entire life but deep down i knew she was doing all this for attention since her sister was perfect and her parents favored her sister soooo much more and go out all the time and ignore her ... but we had gotten over all the fights and everything...

so then she went away weekend before break with "mary" they came back and she was talking to me on aim and i told her i was at her really long time ago EXs house that day and he had a pic of her on his bulletin board and she was like well you took it down right and i was like no its his room i cant just take things down ya know and she like well im mad at you now and im like are you kidding i didnt do it because honestly "betty" he really loved you and he even told me that he really did love you and you know he treated you like a princess and like no other guy has or probably will treat you

and she was like no i dont think he did i dont know and at this point i had to go eat dinner so i was like alright well ill bbs maybe when i come back youll reliaze how much he really loved you and how well he treated you and shes like why are you trying to run my life? and i was like are you kidding im just trying to help

and from there the conversation got really bad and full of insults and curses

and now we are no longer friends at all and we basically hate eachother but its just crazy to see her change so much and i really love this girl shes a sister to me and she had EVERYTHING good going for her shes soooo pretty and graduated as validvictorian of her eigth grade...

and i just hate that shes not herself anymore i miss the girl she used to be my best friend

thank you so much for even taking the time to read this...

i really hope someone can help me help her

Unfortunately, people change. especially in high school - it's a changing/adjusting period. She may change back and realize you are a very good friend, or she might not. Either way, it's not the end of the world =]. I know it may seem like the most horrible thing right now, but throughout your life, you will have many friends. You will grow apart from some, some will be rude to you, but the ones that MATTER - your true friends - will stick with you. You shouldn't put up with mean, or bad behaviour from anyone. True, everyone makes mistakes, but you've already tried talking to her about it. I know it hurts alot to move on from your best best friend, especially since you 2 were like sisters for so long. But sometimes it's necessary. Maybe she just needs some time to come around, or maybe she's changed for good. Just be happy and hang out with your other friends, get closer to them, etc. It's hard to see someone you've been so close with for so long change in such an awful way. Talking to her about it could help even though you've already tried - but if she treats you badly and contineus to do bad things for herself, you may want to create distance. Once you've distanced yourself for awhile, she may come back to you and realize what she's missing. Or she may not. But either way, its for the better

in any case, Something good will come out of all of this this - I promise you =] Keep your head up! I know it may sound corny, but everything happens for a reason. Just think of all your other good/best friends and start hanging out with them more.

Good luck! =]

Q: Can someone tell me what girls wear under these so that noone seees underneath and what colour? (say under wear or thong, and what colour underneath so noone will notice and colour of bra, I hope you'll say under wear because i've never wore a thong before..)

under a white skirt (i wore white underwear underneath yet people could still see it..

colour of bra for a dress

a white shirt

and sweat pants! people always either can see the colour of underwear im wearing or see the marks but if i wear a thong then they'd prob still see arg i need to excercise!

and i think that's it thanks!

white skirt - wear white spandex or white short shorts that are tightfitted so they dont show up but it doesnt look like you can see through.

color of bra for a dress - it depends on what color and style your dress is. you can always wear nude bras that match your skin, or you can get one that matches the dress.

white shirt - if its seethrough then wear a white cami or a different color cami under it so youre not flashing everyone, and a white bra.

sweat pants - it depends on how tight or loose they are. if youre talking abotu the cute tight ones then wear a thong, a lighter coloerd one so they can't see it. or you could also wear spandex under these, thats what some people do.

Q: does anyone know if theirs a name to the song cliff makes torrence thats like

oh torrence cant stand your cheerleading squad but i love your pompoms ;i'll feed you bonbon's all night...

i believe it's called you're just what i need.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=151750569

Q: i did something totally embarassing on friday that makes me never want to go to school againn. okay well we were reading some boring paper thing in science and it was about organisms and how they pollute water or something like that, i don't know. well my teacher passed out a worksheet and we had to write down the answers to the questions from the text, and by mistake (i wasnt paying attention) i wrote down "orgasm" instead of "organism". when my teacher was correcting the papers and she came to mine, she just literally burst out laughing and that freaking asshole TOLD THE CLASS that i wrote that down. i died of embarassment, seriously.. i cant even face that class anymore. what can i do?!!?!?!?! pleasee helppp. thankk you.

this is a common mistake! one time a couple years ago, we were reading aloud in class and i said "orgasm" instead of organism. i know many other people that have done it too so youre not hte only one. first of all, that was veeery unproffesional and rude of your teacher to tell the class - that's not right at all and i dont know why she would do that. she's immature. anyways, don't be so embarassed - im sure its happened to other people in your class. just laugh it off, make a joke out of it, and eventually youre class will forget about it and move on. by monday, they may not even remember!

Q: Hello...

I have a teen daugter she is 13 and she goes to the mall all the time which I don't mind.But she always brings home clothes and says their her friends or something like that and I found 1 price tag in her room...she has a history of shoplifting but do you think shes at it again ?

Signed,
Questioned

it seems like she is shoplifting, especially if she's had a history. if she always says "oh they're my friends", it seems kind of fishy. why would she constantly be bringing home her friends' clothing? however, don't jump to any conclusions. if you suddenly jump down her throat and accuse her, she'll get angry and shut herself off. instead, try calmly approaching her about it. you could say that you're not trying to assume anything, and you know she's a good girl, but tell her the consequences of shoplifting - jail, etc. some collages won't accept people who have a criminal record, even if it's shoplifting. you may be able to scare her or guilt her into not doing it anymore, but remember to mantain a calm, respectful tone. if she continues to do it, you need to take some kind of parental action. shoplifting has very serious consequences and you need to find some way to make her stop.

Q: okay i have these friends that i love todeath when they are not teasing me. but alot of people i know say i should find new friends cause they treat me bad. like they are always picking on me and it makes me mad. well not mad but it hurts my feelings and i dont know how to show my feelings and they think i am mad at them. i have asked them to stop but they wont. i just dont understand. do you constantly make fun of your bestfriend and make them feel like crap/an idiot? i mean i know friends tease each other but enough is enough right? am i acting rediculous?

it depends on the extent of their teasing. if it's just joking around teasing like if you say something blonde and they're like, "haha youre so stupid" then it's ok. however, it seems like what youre saying, tehy're hurting your feelings. thats not ok. if what they say really IS mean, they may be covering it up as a joke so they can say it. in other words, they probably want to say something mean, but to play "innocent", they'll say "oh we were just joking". if it is constant, cold-hearted teasing that singles you out and hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable, they need to stop. you should talk to them about it (maybe they dont realize its hurting you). if, after you talk to them, they don't stop, then they are not your best friends. that's just mean. anyways good luck[:

Q: My so called "best friend" started slapping me about a few weeks ago. It's over the stupidest things, too! Like, I have a favorite lip gloss that I put on all the time in school. She hates it, so she slaps me really hard across the face for that. Sometimes it doesn't hurt, but one time she left a red mark on my face. I've tried slapping her back a few times, but she always blocks her face, so I just kick her.

She's also been acting like a bitch lately, like she'll be nice to me and then tell me to go away 2 minutes later. Today, I didn't hang out with her at lunch, and she called me a slut because the kid she likes was NEAR me. I'm not even friends with him and we don't talk! I don't understand what her problem is.

wow, she sounds really controlling and uptight, and over-reacting. i dont think that you should stay in this friendship. first, try talking to her about it. maybe she doesnt realize she's gotten so out of hand. however, if you takl to her (in a calm way, but stern) and she starts freaking out or slapping you, forget it.

hurting you and freaking out over little things is not ok, and not what agood friend would do.

Q: does anyone know of a place were i can get cute sundresses from? offline would be great! thank you :)

i was just at the mall today, and i saw alot of sundresses at american eagle and forever 21! =] they might also have some at charlotte russe, etc.

Q: Can breakage of the hymen show signs of having sex?

well, you can break your hymen by having sex. however, just because someones hymen is broken doesnt mean theyre not a virgin. a lot of girls break their hymens by putting tampons in, or even riding a bike.

Q: My family is far from rich. My mom and dad are both on social security. I only have one pair of jeans and it's emarrasing. I have to wear the same pair of jeans every other school day and everybody notices. I've had these pair of jeans for over a year now and they are so worn out. The insides of them are so holy. And they are so washed out. I have no money to go out to buy any jeans. I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

first of all, people need to mind their own business. they sound really rude. i know people that wear the same pair of jeans alot in one week even if they aren't poor. some people buy more than one pair of the same jeans because they really like them. and alot of jeans look alike, so i dont know why these people are making such a big eal ab it. second, the "holey" or "washed out" look is in right now for jeans, so at least that's good. jeans can be expensive, so try going to bargain places to look for jeans. alot of jeans are anywhere from 40-300$ or more, but sometimes you can find them on sale for $20 (if you can afford that) at department stores like target, jcpennys, kohls, etc. also, you could look at walmart or good will or somethin.g i hope i helped