|
lost my best friend/sister =/ really important!!
SORRY ITS SO LONG BUT I REALLLLLYYY NEED HELP!!!
okay i have no clue what to do anymore so yeahh...
theres this girl and lets just call her "betty"
okay so betty and i have been best friends since we were reallllyyy little we were more like sisters and suddenly things have changed well im a year older than her so i knew it would be hard to stay friends when i went to highschool and she was still in eigth grade but i made time to hang out with her EVERY weekend and was so happy when she finally grad. i couldnt wait for her to come to high school
when she first got to high school she was acting weird and i told her she wasnt acting like herself and she fixed it then everything was fine until about 2 or 3 months ago when she decided to do cheerleading...
she met lots of guys while doing cheerleading and met other guys through the basketball ones but she had a boyfriend (who i HATED -- he treated her like dirt but she said she really liked him so i dealt) ANYWAYS...
we got into a fight because she was never around and was acting different AGAIN. during the fight she called me and said you know what if you dont think i care then your crazy to prove it ill tell you something only "mary"(her other close friend who always tryed to take my place in "betty"s life) knows so she told me that she had broken up wwith her bf. because she had UNPROTECTED sex with another guy and she felt bad about cheating and couldnt tell him.
i was SHOCKED because i havent even had sex and shes a year younger... so anyway i got worried that she was pregnant but it turned out she wasnt and the guy she had sex with was a JERK so then she kinda blew me off more and more for "mary" and then i found out she was getting drunk and stumbling around town like that on the weekends and later found out she was smoking weed.
between all this madness we had many fights and i told her she was ruining her entire life but deep down i knew she was doing all this for attention since her sister was perfect and her parents favored her sister soooo much more and go out all the time and ignore her ... but we had gotten over all the fights and everything...
so then she went away weekend before break with "mary" they came back and she was talking to me on aim and i told her i was at her really long time ago EXs house that day and he had a pic of her on his bulletin board and she was like well you took it down right and i was like no its his room i cant just take things down ya know and she like well im mad at you now and im like are you kidding i didnt do it because honestly "betty" he really loved you and he even told me that he really did love you and you know he treated you like a princess and like no other guy has or probably will treat you
and she was like no i dont think he did i dont know and at this point i had to go eat dinner so i was like alright well ill bbs maybe when i come back youll reliaze how much he really loved you and how well he treated you and shes like why are you trying to run my life? and i was like are you kidding im just trying to help
and from there the conversation got really bad and full of insults and curses
and now we are no longer friends at all and we basically hate eachother but its just crazy to see her change so much and i really love this girl shes a sister to me and she had EVERYTHING good going for her shes soooo pretty and graduated as validvictorian of her eigth grade...
and i just hate that shes not herself anymore i miss the girl she used to be my best friend
thank you so much for even taking the time to read this...
i really hope someone can help me help her
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i know what your going throug halot of ppl probably do, and its no fu n iknow, alot of people change in highschool some good and others bad. this girl how ever close you guys were, well it seems like you were pretty close you know her better then anyone and even if it seems like she hates you deep dwon she stll does care for you trust me i know its happened to me before just try and talk to her let her know even if you do this in a letter tell her your sorry for wha tahppened if she trys and acts like she dosn tcare just say "you know im not sorry for what happened im just sorry for the way it happened tell her your still here for her and you miss her and maybe you guys can go out to lunch sometime and talk" im sure she would like taht
hope i helped let me know how it works out.
]
Unfortunately, people change. especially in high school - it's a changing/adjusting period. She may change back and realize you are a very good friend, or she might not. Either way, it's not the end of the world =]. I know it may seem like the most horrible thing right now, but throughout your life, you will have many friends. You will grow apart from some, some will be rude to you, but the ones that MATTER - your true friends - will stick with you. You shouldn't put up with mean, or bad behaviour from anyone. True, everyone makes mistakes, but you've already tried talking to her about it. I know it hurts alot to move on from your best best friend, especially since you 2 were like sisters for so long. But sometimes it's necessary. Maybe she just needs some time to come around, or maybe she's changed for good. Just be happy and hang out with your other friends, get closer to them, etc. It's hard to see someone you've been so close with for so long change in such an awful way. Talking to her about it could help even though you've already tried - but if she treats you badly and contineus to do bad things for herself, you may want to create distance. Once you've distanced yourself for awhile, she may come back to you and realize what she's missing. Or she may not. But either way, its for the better
in any case, Something good will come out of all of this this - I promise you =] Keep your head up! I know it may sound corny, but everything happens for a reason. Just think of all your other good/best friends and start hanging out with them more.
Good luck! =]
]
High school changes people and I can understand that but she's trying to hard to be liked and to fit it. She's younger and she hasn't matured enough to realize what she is doing with her life and the friendship that she destroyed. None of this is any of your fault and I don't want you to feel like you did something wrong. If she won't make an effort for being friend, don't bother anymore. I'm sure you've talked to her about this plently of times but I don't think you got clear to her. How can she throw such a long friendship away like that? Does she not remember that you were the one that was there for her through everything and that you guys were [ best ] friends..? Those are the things that she needs to realize. She does not understand that you're just trying to help her and look out for her. I know that it's hard losing your best friend, but things like this happen. Let her grow up. It's hard watching your best friend ruin her life like that & I understand how you feel. I wouldn't want to be in a position as you are, but you have other friends and she'll come around. If she continues doing drugs & drinking, you can get proffesional help or an adult but I doubt that you'd want to do that. I hope everything works out between you guys.
]
First off, i am really sorry that you have tto got through this... and just to let you know ,you havent dne anything wrong. Unfortunatley it sounds like yout friend is doing what most people do when thwy get to highschool, changing. And you cnt really change her back to who she USED to be. The only thing that you can do is either wait it out and hope its a phase or you have to just let that idea of her go. No matter what she is going to do what she wants. But for the time bieng yo can either try to talk to her about how she is acting or just find someone else to hang out with while she is being this way. Just let her know that you love her and are here for her but you dnt like the decisions she is making. I hope I helped you!!!!<33
]
More Questions: |