cheney232's advice column

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Q: Hi, I need some help because people think Im baleemic but I dont think I am. I mean I dont eat hardly only around my mom so she wnt think of somthing being wrong. I dont do you think its a problem.

well alright, balemic first off is when you eat alo and then throw it up so do you that?
or is it anarexic wear you starve yourself?

Q: I am a terrible horrible waste of space. I have never had a speeding ticket, I am 30 years old by the way.. and i was sitting in a jail cell for 5 hrs. last night. Worst ever. I rang up returns on gift cards, used one for $33.00 and threw the other one away. The store was able to delete the one that was not spent. I am bipolar,I am not using that as a copout ,and I have no idea why I did it and it was wrong. I threw away the 2nd one because i grew a conscience. I am facing misdemeanor petty theft charges and did nothing in my life before this. Never did drugs ever.. dont drink alcohol. I cant eat, I feel awful. I have no job and fear I might go to jail. Can anyone tell me if the judge is going to be harsh on me? Any similar situations? Thanks.

this sorta happened to me only im not over 18 but i have a clean record. you will most likey have to do pay a fine or do community service and ahve it all donce by a certian day

Q: 16/f okay so there is this boy who i am really falling for. and he is one of those boys that you know you shouldnt like and he doesnt hit my usual criteria but for some reason he is wrong in all the right ways. so there are alot of people that are against me and him (arent going out yet, supposedly asking me out tomorrow)...anyways alot of people are against it(younger sister,friends,best friend) cause he doesnt exactly have the best reputation with girls. i guess you could say he was somewhat of a player. But i see him diff. then everyone else. i truly feel that he likes me. and yes i know that i am taking a risk and that i might end up getting hurt but i am willing to take that risk for some odd reason. i know i will regret it if i dont do this and i feel like i need to. but my question is am i a total idiot??? i mean i tried not to falll for him .....I TRIED SOOO HARD. but i couldnt help it. i love the way he holds me and kisses me and truly listens to me. any advice????!!! thanks for reading

i think.... if its what you want which you already got then see how it works out. you know your smart and so does everyone else just dont forget who your friends are! k? promis you wont?!

Q: whats the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?

this is it, honestly you will know. and everyone has thier own version of being in love. but the diffrence to me would have to be when you love someone youcan tell and your just like whateve but when your in love everyone else can tell. its like electricity going through your body and you think about them all the time. but honestly you really have to think the most confussing is are you in love or lust

Q: that i used to like like serioulsy 2 years ago, and i am 16 now. and i just cant seem to let go of those feelings....can you please tell me how i should let go? because i tried everything i could think of.

i think you just simply anwsered your own question my friend :D its simply that you arnt ready to get over him, and thast perfectly fine:D you cant control who you like, let alone stop it i mean when the time comes you will get over him and it will be as easy as that as for now just play it cool and let what ever happens, well, happen you'll be fine

Q: this isnt really advice im just curious. one day this question popped into my head and ive been thinking about and asking other people as well. i already have an opinion of it but id like other perspectives. the question is, do you think one can be deep IN LOVE with another person, if the feeling isnt mutual? not just love them but be truly IN love. also could you please explain why or why not for your answer =] thanks.

ofc ourse you can. the thing is, the reason you fall in love with the person in the first place is becasue of the person they are, you dont like them because they like you. you like them because of who they are. which means you dont fall in love or say your in love because someone is in love with you, or says it. you fall in love because they are incrediable and ofr the person they are. so yes you can its simple :D

Q: I was good friends with these girls freshman year, they kinda put me in the middle of a fight making me have to choose between their group and the other 2 girls in the group..i unfortunately chose the other 2 girls cause we were in a youth group together so i thought we'd get close. We stopped hanging out last year, and the original other girls started getting closer and closer. Now I have 3 classes with 2 of the girls and it's like akward like we talk and stuff but im not friends with them and I really really want to be. I keep asking them to hang out but they always say no and i mean we have such a past together!! ahh help me!

the best thing you have to do is make them understand taht everybody makes mistakes and unfortuanlly by picking the two other girls you made one, things between these girls are neevr gonna be the same but thier is no point an acting immature on thier part and saying no to hanging out. just dnt seem to needy and when it happens it happenes and you will be fine :D

Q: so i have this friend that i used to be really close too. but niw it seema that we are drifting apart. is there anything i can do about that? i dont want to lose her. she means the world to me. . . . .and ideas will help. thanks

i know what you mean. and things like this are always hard to deal with but you just have to remember how much they mean to you, try talking to her and really letting her know how you feel, even if you feel embarassed or like you dont want to be the one to say it first let her know you dont want to lose her, i promis it helps and you end up feeling alot better. just try more things to hang out, diffrent things and you be the one to plan it and see what she thinks. hope i helped

Q: Whenever i shave down there, i'm unable to get a close shave without causing a lot of irritation later. Within 20 minutes of doing it, all the places where hair was get these ugly read bumps.
Also, how do i prevent ingrown hairs down there?

well the ebs tthing to do is shave eaither down or side to side not up. and wash it completely out afterwards.

Q: my friend ryan committed suicide about two weeks ago and i just can't get over it. just seeing him in that casket made me sick to my stomach and burst into tears. it's so wrong to see a 15 year old in a casket.. it's just wrong. everything reminds me of him cuz he was the coolest person in the world. plz tell me how to overcome this or help me to be at peace with his death. i miss him so much

nobody can help with you something like this. and nobody should have to. your always goin to miss your friend no matter what the circumstances are and no body is ever gonna help you replace him, trust me i went through it. the ebst thing to do is, never rush something like taht to get over you should get over it when you want to and tahst taht

Q: me and my friend double date with these two guys. we have gone once but it was really hard to do. her mom doesnt like me so she couldnt tell her she was going with me. and she also couldnt tell her she was going with guys cause shes wouldnt let her. so i told her to come over and then we'd go without telling her, but recently her mom said she couldnt come over to my house anymore because we went and hung out with this guy whos 16 (were 14) but we didnt do anything with him. her mom is blaming it all on me and she isnt sticking up for me and im kinda of mad about it cause were best friends. anyways, we ended up having to go with her mom but see different movies and met the guys in there theatre. then had to go back out without them. it was stupid and not fun at all. well we want to all get together again, but go eat and do other things.

so i need help with two things.
what can i do about her mom hating me for no reasonable reason (truthfully, im a good kid, and i dont do bad things and most moms know that) and how can we get together with those guys again!

haha well my mom hates my best friend and she is a good kid to lol so their isnt really anything you can do about it. but about the hole boy thing just talk to your mom about it and then have her talk to your friends mom. if its really taht nig of a deal just dont lie about it because if they find out its a lie things get worse so yeah. hope i helped

Q: i dont knw what to do right now.... i feel likemy whole life is falling apart and i dont know what to do about it!!1 i just want to break down. tomorrow is the kast day i can see the guy i like for i dont know how long.... i dont think i am going to ever see him cause we dont go to the same school and we dont even live in the same area and i hate it!!! i actually find the right guy and i will probably nevere see him again and this whole thing is never going to work out!!!! i dont think anyone can help but any ideas????? :((( please help b4 o go crazy

well first off calm down! take a breather and think if you really like this guy try the saying "love conquers anything" try seeing eachother on the weekends. and do whatever it takes to make it work you know, you sound just like my friend brittany...wierd huh?:)

Q:
So i'm 15/F
and i was wondering to the girls that have gotten fingered before.. how does it feel ? because some of my friends told me that it hurts, and thats one reason why i don't want to be fingered.. And also i just started wearing tampons, and for the first time it hurt alooot, so i have no idea if fingering is the same way, i really am curious haha. (:

ok,ok so this makes me laugh knowing someone out thier feels the same as i did. trust me it doesnt hurt at all! i'll my friends told me it was gonna hurt really abd too, but then it happened and i was just like "hey this doesnt hurt" lol you will like it :)

Q: i want to know if im considered a racist. i can be friends with black people, i have 3 black friends but i can never picture myself dating or having sex/children/marrying a black guy. is this racism or just prefrences?

i would say its just preverence relax about it lol im the exact same way. its chill

Q: i've never had a boyfriend, im 15 and i've kissed one person.....i really just want to have a boyfriend, that and to get more experienced, but, how?

sweetie let me tell you right away boys are definetly and never should be the first priority, let your mood go and what ever happens, happens. flirt alitlte and make them no where your coming from but guys hate it when you try super hard for you to get tehm to notice you. just relx and fun with life, you never need experience at these kind of things tehy just fall into place with relationship stuff. i promis you'll be fine :)
hope i helped

Q: ok so im going to be a junior so i have two more years of highschool and my group of friends at my school i am beginning to hate more and more. i was really close with some of them like we were a group of five and claimed to be 'best friends' but its all bullshit. anyways its still summer and i met these girls from another school and completely clicked. i became best friends with one of them in a matter of weeks and we all started hanging out all the time. they are so real and so much more fun and i just fit better with them. anyways, when school starts im not going to see them as much and we'll probably drift. my old friends are kind of mad that i got a whole new group of friends so im kind of just in a depressing situation right now. so my question is have any of you ever like had a time in your life when you dont have many friends/are confused. or any ways of making new friends because youre old friends are even really friends. just anything thanks

ok well the best thinig to do is to just talk to your friends nobody ever said you coldnt have more then one friend thats what life is all about meeting people. just let your friends no your still thier friend it just seems easyer to beable to let loose and be free of more then one group :) hope i helped

Q: i am not beaten much. but i am a smartalleck. but he could just say dont do that or somting. he always says the f with me, makes fun of me, hurts my feelings, even when he doesnt mean it. im ired of it. and my stepmom, whos 20 years younger then him, slutty, and pregnant, and my dad have sex all the time. she is an asshole. sorry for cussing.she calls me fat and ugly and she says i dont take care of myself. but i dont have but a few old, torn, bleached, to small outfits.im trying to live with my mom, but i dont wanna go to court because if my dad won me i would never see my mom or siblings again. and he would probably put me in the hospital for hitting me. he always threatens to beat me really bad. but he only makes fun of me, and puts his arm up to hit me, but doesnt. should i go to court or not?
My mom cant afford a lawyer either.it has been going on from when me dad ment my step mom, 3 years ago.my dad lives in ohio and mom lives in indiana.
sorry it was so long!
------Simone411------

trust me dont be sorry that its long. well how old are you first off? because if your super worried when your 18 you can do whateevr you want. hey i have family in indaian ok sorry. well i mean ifi were you i would go to court depending on the exact situation your mom doent need a lawyer go early and get an emancipation. what your dad is doing is majorly wrong, thw words he says and the taunting you cant really do anything about, but the hitting you def. can. and im a smart allec all the time trust me btw im f/16 and my parents dont hit me, when i was little probably up to 11years old my dad alwasy hit me, but when i hit the age of know what calling the cops did i told him if he ever layed one finger on me i would call the cops so fast his ass would be in jail with in 10 minutes taht he nvr touched me again. lay down the law for yourseld. you only get to live life once so why not live the way you want? the way that makes you happy? stick up for your self, and do something for yourself make your self happy. go to court and fight. its seems like something you need to do. becasue im sure you dont want to end up in the hospital. if you need to talk about anything else i dnt know if you ahve a myspace but im on taht constantly 24/7 my url is www.myspace.com/yourmomschesthair

Q: Hi. I am new at this. But I think that my friend is Baleemic... I havent talked to her about it yet realy... I just told her she needed to go to the doctor. And she refuses... She is mexican and Im not all that sure she knows what can happen if she keeps doing this to herself. And it scares me. She lost like 40 pounds. And she is ALWAYS... everytime I talk to her... throwing up. Im realy realy scared for her. She is my Best Friend. What can I do? Please help.

Love,
help_a_friend_14

you can talk to her am much as you want but she herself needs to get over it. you need to physically show her taht what she is doing is wrong. ask her how it would make her feel if you did it or if you did something that was gonna mek you hurt? its def. not something easy to get over and it gets kind of addicting once you strat so i know how she feels about stoping but talk t oher and if it doesnt work talk to her parenst. i know it will suck because you may loose her as a friend, but if she honestly means as much to you as you say she does its by far the right thing to do.

Q: my dad abuses me. mentally and emotionally, sometimes even beats me. i have asked this question before. i have gone to all the hotlines on the internet, but i am scared to tell anyone.
if it helps, my dad was beat and touched by his parents. it has been going on for....4 years maybe. well hes done it all my life, but not this bad. he makes fun of me all the time, so does my stepmom. i live with my dad, but im going to try to go to court to live with my mom. please help me.

i know this is hard and scary at the same time ,but......YOU NEED TO ETLL YOUR MOM. OR SOMEONE TAHT CAN HELP YOU. the more you let it go on the worse its gonan happen. regaurdless if i thappen to hi mas a child he should no how bad it was so he shouldnt do it to you. yo ucan hide behind this espeacially if its gone on for four years.. what provokes hi mto do it?

Q: i've been molested, as a child. it happened often and i've tried so hard to block it out but now i feel like it defines me. nobody knows, i can't say anything nobody will believe me. everybody will hate me. he ruined me. i picture how my life would be if it never happened, the way i am now is horrible. i make so many mistakes just trying to make myself feel better but nothing works. i dont know what to do, i cant talk to anybody. im 16, this happened the summer going into 5th grade then into the year.

nothing makes it go away i don't know what to do i want to die so badly.

i promis you, that soon enough everything will be ok, no matter what your always gonna feel bad and hate the feeling about this but you cant let it ruin your life. go abou tyour day as if everything is fine and if you need to thin kabout it or cry go in the shower cool of be refreshed and think of it thier where no one can see you.this is something hard to talk abou ti know, but the only way your gonna feel a little beeter about it it, if you tell somebody. i know. and trust me its hard but it will take some off of you if you just tell somebody

bio

ok lets see well my name is
Shenaye and im 16 years old.my life is'nt perfect but then again not alot of peoples are.i guess you can say i care about things way to much but i just like to say im sensitive. I'm very emotionally attached to people but I rather love then never know the feeling. I love giving people advice, I learn to listen to people's problem's more and more each day, My friends say I'm really good at it. It may not always be right but at least its something to fall back on if nothing else works right? anyways I've been through alot more in my life then alot of people can say they have: family,love,friends,abuse,drugs,suicicde attempts. and many more I dont like to really talk about it but I know its made me a way stronger person then I once was.
My friends are my life you mess with them i'llpull an operation beatdown on you