about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.


advice

I think that I might be bi.. But I dont want to be! what do I do?

I am female by the way

thanks..

I just want to say that some people think it is natural to be attracted to others of the same sex. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are bi. It just means that you are searching for your own identity and it happens to people who are straight. I might be bashed for saying this, but I don't believe someone who is gay really has a choice, but someone who is bi does.

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Hi. This is F/14.
My problem is (If this is a problem)I Have no pubic hair on my armpits and around vagina. My skin there is just like 8 year old girl. I started my periods one & a half year back. Is this a big problem. What may be the reason? I am worried about any future disease. Please advice?

There can be different reasons for this which are usually hormonal related. But the good news is that most disorders such as this can be treated. You should see a Dr for diagnosis and treatment which will hopefully prevent future problems with your health. If the Dr finds no cause for concern then at least you can stop worrying. It may be embarassing to see a Dr for this reason, but it is very important that you do. He/She won't think anything about it and will be glad to help.

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OKay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months , and we are definantly in love. Lately we have been talkin about sex, a little more and more each time we talk to each other. Like last night we were texting each other and he said and i quote "Blaire, I love you, & you no that, i would do anything in the world for you. And , well now, i think im ready, for well you know, to have sex. I think we should try it. But only if your ready"

and the thing is , were young. He is 16, im almost 14.(one more week) and well, i would really love to loose my virginity to him, but he has already had sex(he used to be in the major party scene. He quit for me.) So should i have sex with him?

-Confsed

Okay--he's had sex before, he knows the lines well. Since he is not a virgin--he has been ready since the day you two met!

"Blaire, I love you, & you no that, i would do anything in the world for you. And , well now, i think im ready, for well you know, to have sex. I think we should try it. But only if your ready"

In otherwords he thinks he is being smooth, but really he is more interested in sex than how you really feel. (What 16 year old male isn't?)But now because you asked, you know the truth..that's what they all say!

If you are afraid of losing him if you don't comply then he is not the right guy for you. If he does leave you because you won't have sex, he was only using you. So my answer is no--don't have sex with him. If he sticks around until you are much older, good for him, just write back and tell me I was wrong.

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is it true the best time to have sex is right after your period because the egg fr next month has not come down yet? i know there is still a achance of pregnenc, but if the condem is used correctly and the person has sex right after their period, does thi make them safe?

aalso..what does being ready mean to you guys? how do you know when your ready? any stories or personal accounts is appreciated if possible also. thanks ! 5's for everyone who tries

If the female has regular periods most likely ovulation (egg released from the ovary) will occur around 14 days after the first day of the period. However, the sperm can survive several days inside the female therefore making the days that one can become pregnant more. Of course there is no full proof method of birth control and there are so many variences it's always better to be safe than sorry. Two methods of birth control used in combination are safer than one. Although I am not a guy or a teenager anymore--my thoughts are if the guy and the girl are not ready or willing to support a baby, then they shouldn't be ready for sex either.

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I'm scared to death of tampons; but I need to start using them because I play volleyball and I don't want the pad to be visible. I keep trying to put them in, but they get to a point where I can't push it in anymore and it hurts so bad I want to cry. I've used almost a whole box trying to put one in; does anyone have any tips that might help this be less painful?

Use tampons with the smooth plastic applicator, smear some k-y jelly on the applicator if you need to. Stand up, put one foot on the toilet(knee bent) and one foot on the floor (with your legs apart) lean slightly forward. Angle the applicator toward the small of your back (your belt line). After you insert the tampon pull on the string slightly until you feel a little resistance (not too far) this will set it in place. Usually it will pinch or feel uncomfortable if not in the right position.

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Last night i was sleeping and all of a sudden i felt this extreme pain in my calf..it subsided after a minute or so. My mom thinks this is a charlie horse. I wans't in any weird position or anything..and this happened the other night too..what could be the cause of it?

When this happens flex your toes up and back (point them toward your knee) this will help stretch the muscle and cause it to relax. If it is a charlie horse or (muscle spasm) it could be happening because you have a vitamin and/or mineral defiecency. Usually potassium-but could be calcium and/or magnesium. Try eating a half of banana every day and drinking more milk.

If you have severe pain when flexing your foot, bearing weight, tenderness in the area with warmth and redness see your Dr right away. This could point to a more serious problem such as a blood clot, infection or pheblitis (inflammation of the veins). Only your Dr. can rule that out and in that case there is nothing you can do but follow his/her treatment plan.

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I don't attract guys at all. It's been said that I'm a lesbian (which I'm not), and I have an extremely brutal (but with purpose...I don't just say "Fuck the world" for no reason and think it's funny) sense of humor and wear all black. Are these turn-offs? But I'm a nice person. Though I can be a little morbid, I'm generally pretty friendly, I consider others' feelings, and I try to make friends, but nobody at my school wants to be around me. It's inevitable someone will say "Marian, I REALLY wanna sit next to Joe Shmoe. Can you move over?" at least twice a day. I just hate that. Whenever we have to choose partners/teams in gym, I'm always the last person. I feel so lonely, I cry sometimes in the locker room when nobody is around. There's only 1 friend of mine that's a guy who actually appreciates me for who I am, and I now have such a huge crush on him. I don't want to sound conceited at all, but I think I'm a nice-looking person, so that eliminates the idea that guys might not like me because of my looks. Does anyone understand? How can I make more friends? Even though he doesn't like me back in the same way, should I tell this boy I like him, and if so, how?

Let me tell you about myself, and maybe you can relate and learn ways to deal with these situations.

I have always hated how teachers and coaches allow other students to pick teams. It was always the best althletes or popular kids who were chosen to be captain and therefore they picked their own friends first. I was always last and I too would cry for hours--because I felt I could do well at anything if I was given the chance.

No one ever gave me a chance so I realized that I had to make my own way. I tried different hobbies and activities until I found things that I could do well at--and the majority of my school mates could not.

Around the summer before 10th grade I had my own awakening.

I couldn't play basketball well, but I could roller skate. I couldn't play volleyball, but I could ride horses and even win at barrel racing. I sucked at kickball but I could ride a motorcycle, drive a boat, drive a tractor, race a car, drive a 4X4 on very rough and muddy terrain.

Even the guys were envious. Something amazing happened that summer..I had really improved my self esteem and the rest followed. I started to make new friends (not the captains of the team) but friends that shared my interests, and a lot of them were guys. I dressed like a girl, had a great tan and long blonde (bleached) hair. I didn't try to look like a guy--but I wanted them for friends.

At the beginning of that school year our class played baseball against all the teachers. I caught an outfeild ball that had been hit by one of the coaches which caused our team to win the game. A year earlier I wouldn't have had the guts or even the physical ability to catch that ball.

I was never picked last again! My grades improved, I became a cheerleader...and the rest is history.

The moral of the story is, work hard on developing your own self esteem. Everyone has talent, everyone deserves to be treated well, but it all starts with you! Sometimes people treat us the way they do by the energy that we display. Meaning if we give off negative energy, they will treat us in a negative way. If we are positive and upbeat, we will be treated in a positive way.

Oh by the way...work on yourself first, then tell the boy that you like him. Life is about taking chances and if you don't chance it you will never know. If he rejects you, you haven't lost anything because you didn't have him in the first place. Don't take it personal, just move on.

Best of luck and remember "Last is not least"

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Well, I am 13/f, 5'4, 139 lbs
I am definitely considering being bulimic. (sp?)
I'm not going to starve myself, but I am going to eat less. A lot less. Can anyone please help me? I am just so fed up with feeling like I'm fat. I feel like I'm the only one. Would this make me feel better? I'm willing to try anything, so I can actually look good in a bathing suit this summer. Can anyone just give any suggestions, or help topics, or anything? I am ready to do anything. ANYTHING.

People who have an eating disorder such as bullemia do not look better. In fact they look awful. Their eyes get sunken and dark and their skin gets pale, and their teeth rot from having contact with the stomach acid.

You may weigh on the heavier side of normal, but you are not anywhere close to being fat or obese.

Follow the food pyramid guide for eating healthy. Cut out soda and high sugar or high fat snacks. Drink 8 glasses of water per day, and exercise. Find an exercise that you like and it will be easier to stick with it. If you loose 1-2 lbs per week you'll be doing good. If you get to around 120--that would be a good target weight to stay at.


Check this site out and follow thier advice for eating.

http://www.mypyramid.gov/

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I really want someone to talk to whos around my age and has the same problems as me. I have;
ADD
ADHD
Depression
Mono

..i just want someone to talk to .. expecially about the depression. idk i think i'd feel better about it. so if you want to help me and stuff heres my "contacting" stuff or whatever l o l

Screen Name- KATES x3 RAD
E-Mail- Kaitlyn_Ox@yahoo.com

Thanks =)

You'd probably feel better talking to someone in real life, so here's a hot line number that you can call.

Depression Hotline: 630-482-9696

Since it is probably long distance, call and ask if they have an 800 number or a number in your area.

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ok, im almost in love with this guy. not obsessed, but getting close.
he's gorgeous && incredibly sweet.
but there are problems;;
1)i cannot talk to him
2)he likes someone else
3)he's a druggie
now, i know what you're going to say about him doing drugs.. but hey! sometimes, a bad boy is good for a girl..you know??lmao
so what can i do??
should i just sit around && hope he gets over this other girl??
or should i talk to him??..conversation starters???

will rate high ;D
♥ thank yooou

Sometimes a "bad boy" is wonderful to think about, but in a relationship they totally suck!

You are attracted to him because he is unpredictable and somewhat of a mystery. Or maybe you are one of those people who think they can change others and want to fix their problems.

Trust me...it won't happen.

You'll only end up getting hurt, or worse yet in trouble with the law due to his drug use.

You are right..you sound obesessed. Which does not equal love, it feels like it at first, but it is really more like addiction.

In the real romantic world (nice guys finish first).

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Alright So..
Me and Alexis have been best friends since 5th grade. And all of a sudden this year shes changed.(we're in 8th grade now) . Like she hangs out with Seniors(Um Ew?. Thats like hanging out with my brother) And she has smoked and drank. And it bugs me. Like we still do sleepovers sometimes and talk at school but its all differant. And now Alexis, my friend Karie, and my friend Holi have this thing called "KAH" which stands for their names and they think their the shit. it pisses me off.. and now i feel like i dont have a best friend..


please help

Sounds kind of Ewwwww...to me too. I know in 8th grade it's important to have a best friend, but being treated right is more important. You don't need the stress of having a friend like that. Of course you feel sad because your friendship (and your friend) is changing. It's easy to miss any relationship that is moving apart, but as time goes on you will find that this type of thing will happen over and over again. For now try to make new friends and invite someone over that you haven't given much thought to before. Join something that this old friend doesn't belong to--such as a club or sport. You'll find a new best friend or maybe even 2 or 3 friendships that are valuable and important. Personally, I have several good friends, but none that I would qualify as a best friend. Whatever works! Good Luck to You!

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im 14/f my bf is 17. he is always talking about how he wants to marry me and how much he loves me. i love him. i know you will think im to young. im not to young to know love. alright. so he got me this necklace for christmas that has a heart on it that on the front our names are ingraved and on the back it says "7 or 8 more years..." theres a story behind it...but its about me and him getting married in 7 or 8 years. then for valentines day he got me a ring. he wants to get married in 4 or 5 years now.... and he calls me his wife. like when he intorduces me to his friends he callse me his wife. and even to his mom he says hes going to see his wife and stuff. and whenever i see a baby i want one of my own.... is that normal? to want to have his kid? me and him have never had sex or anything. were really jsut good kids in love. so is that bad/wrong/weird/normal?

That's great that you consider yourselves "good kids in love" I like to hear that :-)

Yes, it's quite normal and not bad at all to want to have a baby with your b/f. The maternal instincts kick in early in some girls, and are even more intense when they sense that they are in love. Since you seem to be so mature about your relationship with this guy, and since you are asking, in essence you already know that even though you want a baby, now is not the right time. A baby puts a huge strain on even the most devoted married couples relationship. (Trust me, I know this). Devote time to each other now--as a childfree couple. (Oh the freedom--I remember it well) and there will be plenty of time to plan for a child after you are married. You'll both make much better parents that way, and it is the unselfish thing to do.

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okay for the past...5 days i have been sick. and when im sick i normally lose my apitite(spelling?) and eat like nothing. Im much better now and today my mom made me a great lunch (i had no breakfast because i woke up so late) but i could hardly eat any of it. I felt really full after 2 bites. Is this bad? or is it just from being sick?

P.S 15/f if that makes a difference

While recovering from an illness the loss of appetite can be expected. So in essence this full feeling is most likely because you've been ill, yes.

If it continues you should see your Dr.

The best thing to do for now would be to drink clear liquids for 24 hours. (jello, tea, chicken broth, clear soda) etc. This will allow your stomach to completely rest and keep you hydrated. After 24 hours eat foods that are easy to digest (soft foods). After that, you should be able to eat as you did before.

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I'm a 22 year old girl and my 24 year old boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 5 years. I wasn't initially attracted to him but when we got talking I noticed he had a different, positive way of thinking which appealed to me. He was only 19 at the time but he had set up his own business at 17, had a strong desire to make money and was full of remarkable ideas. I had never talked to anyone around my own age who was so focused on their future and wanted the same things I did. He gave me a different perspective of looking at the world which then in turn lead to me starting my own business a couple years later. We both enjoy the fine things in life and are set on reaching our goals of being successful and having financial freedom so we can live the 'high life'. The problem is that when we first met we were all over each other at every opportunity, sex was a big part of our lives. We were living together not long after we met but had to move into my mums house for 6 months, 3 years ago when we were both having financial difficulties. Having sex regularly became a bit of an issue but we still got by. When he moved out we lived separately for a while and we found we still didn't have regular sex. I wasn't really as interested anymore as it felt routine and I was too familiar with all his moves. We'd already done most of of the sexual things we'd wanted to do together throughout our relationship so to me it seemed hard to spice up. My boyfriend wasn't bothered by it, he just wanted sex with me in any way, shape or form. We have now gone from having sex a few times every day to once a week then once a month to not at all. In my mind it is because there is no longer any lust. He has given up on initiating sex because he knows I'll reject him. Over the last year he's gained a beer belly and although he has never been overly fashionable I find his constantly casual clothes, never changing hair and carelessness with his appearance is getting to me - although he's not unclean. I'm no longer sexually attracted to him anymore and even though I had thought our personalities complimented each other so much that we were meant to be I now find myself picking on parts of his personality that never bothered me before. I still love him overall but I'm not sure if I was ever inlove with him. We still hug and talk to each other but only give each other a peck on the lips and no longer have sex. I do want sex but with someone who makes me swoon. Someone who is sexy, stylish, artistic and deep - things I think my boyfriend lacks. If we broke up and I found someone with these qualities would I then be satisfied? Or would I be sacrificing a valuable long-term love with someone who treats me like a princess and wants the same future? What if I got my hot guy fix then realised I'd done the wrong thing, would I ruin what I've got. My boyfriend thinks that I'd discover that I can't find my ideal and that we're meant to be but by then he says it would be too late. He'd be with someone who loves him flaws and all and wouldn't want me after I've been with another guy. We live together so it's not an easy decision to make... Perhaps we need a break? Perhaps we should stay together because this is what relationships are like after 5 years or perhaps I should start a new life but is it possible to find long-term happiness with my 'dream guy'? I'm so confused and don't want to hurt my boyfriend because he's also my friend but I need some lust in my life. Help!!!

If you are looking for a person that will meet all your expecations beyond the initial phases of the relationship you are not likely to find him.

It is true that all relationships go through stages, and what you are describing is typical. We move into a more secure--comfort level, but it's not always fireworks anymore. It is of utmost importance to be friends with your lover..such as you describe. This doesn't happen with every couple, but when it does it often equals a long term solid relationship.

I would suggest trying to find ways to spice up your current love life and add a little romance, because I think you may find the same type of dissapointment with each relationship when it moves into the stage that you describe.

Best of luck..and I would like to add, you sound like a very smart mature 22 year old. You should be proud!


Here's some ideas:


http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/love-life/romantic_love_revive_your_love_life.shtml

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Ok guys i found out last night my cousin was on mu screen name and same from from scotts school im'ed her and said a bunch of people were at a party and i guess scott has been cheating on me i guess he has been dating this girl name ciara for awhile and one of scotts friends asked her if she knew me and him were dating and she said no i guess nobody knew so im going to break up with him he dosent get home until monday and i am supposed to see him tuesday i have the whole convestation from that girl. should i just break up with him monday or see him tuesday i want to say eveything to his face i know he'll deny cheating on me and when he does i want to throw the converstation in his face...i just want to let him have it. so should i judt break up with him or see him and do it and what should i say i want to chew him out please help me asap love you xox * aleah

Don't call it off just yet. Talk to Scott first. It could just be that people are trying to cause trouble. Now of course you do have a reason to be suspecious, just keep your eyes and ears open, but at least have proof first.

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Consumption of folic acid & iron tablets before(trying to get conceive) pregnancy is good or bad?
Give clear explanation for both.

I found an explination for this with the amounts listed on the March of Dimes web site. It appears to be sound advice, but it's always a good idea to go for a check up and discuss this topic with your Dr before getting pregnant.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/173_15354.asp

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I have been taking guitar lessons from an older married man. Sometimes he says things to me like "look at me when you're playing", but says it in a turned on way. I've also caught him staring inappropriatley at my chest. I got really embarrassed at the last lesson because for no reason at all, while I had two of my fingers on the D chord, he put his hand on top of my hand; wouldnt let go, and slid our hands down the entire guitar all the way from the top to bottom, and very slowly. Now I'm not an idiot, and know this wasnt part of the lesson. I know my face was all red and when I looked up at him, he looked guilty.
Now I don't know what to do, because he had been offering the lessons for free. He's also my friends boss, and I don't want to say anything. What should I do?

I'd rather pay cash for the lesson. If you don't want to say anything, don't, just find a different instructor. I have always learned that one should follow their gut instinct, if it makes you uncomfortable and you suspect he has the wrong intentions you are probably right.

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I have minor acid reflux if that has to do with this:

When I turn over in bed suddenly sometimes a get this odd feeling in the center of my chest. It feels like a bubble popped in my heart. It doesn't hurt, but it feels SO odd. What could this be? Should I tell my doctor about this?

I know someone who had acid reflux or indigestion for about a year before he had a major heart attack. The Dr. told him he shouldn't have self treated or ignored the indigestion because it was a symptom of heart trouble. Since it seems to be bothersome (even without pain) I believe that you should tell your Dr. If it's minor than at least you will have some peace of mind.

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well my boyfreind has acne on his face and i was just wondering if it is contagious or anything and if it is...is there anything i can do so i dont start breaking out or anyhting?

Acne is not contagious provided it is from the normal causes. However if a person has a different type of bacterial infection (strep or staph) that is growing in the acne lesion, that could be contagious. Of course most likely you'd have to be exposed to an open or draining area to become infected too. Washing with soap and water after contact is the best way to prevent contamination.

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I have this friend, known her forever. Shes turning out to be really mean, and its gettin me down.

This summer, we spent EVERY DAY together. Never ever missed a day. When we got back to school, she paid no attention to me. I talk to her on the computer these days and she tells me im fat, ugly, slutty, fat,fat,fat,fat,fat!!

And it gets me down, because im not fat. she gets others to hate me

But then.. Im so nice I go back to forgiving her!!


I cant stop myself!! What do I do!?!!?

You have to stop being so nice! I mean it, this person is not really a friend. She is abusing you and you don't have to put up with it. Ditch her and don't talk to her again. Tell her that you find her behavior immature and irrational. If she does this to you, she will do it to another person and they will find out in their own time and way. She will be the one left without any friends.

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