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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
So I live my mom, and we've been having problems. Well, it's me that has the problem. My mom refuses to talk to me about something I'm not comfortable with. She brought back her ex-boyfriend, for no logical reason. He has done so many bad things to us and I can't understand it. She refuses to talk to me about how I feel, and get's super defensive when I try to talk to her about it. I can't stay with them, but I have no way to get out of the home. She doesn't care for my feelings, like a parent should. What can I do?
Without knowing your age it is impossible to give you any proper advice. The only advice I will give you is this. If you are under 18 and the problem has anything to do with him abusing you in any way you have the right to go to the police and tell them what is going or you can call child social services and ask for help.
Whenever any type of abuse happens to you, you have every right to call 911 and ask for help. You do not need parental permission to call 911. The job of 911 is the same as going to a police officer when lost. They are there to help you and keep you safe so call 911 if you need to.
I am a 23 year old female going through a really rough patch. Two months ago I had been highjacked, taken and raped by three men. I'd survived this unharmed only my belongings were taken. My life has become so different, i feel different my parents have become so protective, i no longer have a job because of fear and transportation problems. My boyfriend broke up with me last week, we had been together for six years, he left because he didn't like the person that I was with at the time of the highjacking. I never cheated, the guy was just a friend and I am thankful he had been with me through my ordeal. I am so unhappy all the time, i sit waiting and knowing that because of this issue I could have HIV, i miss my boyfriend and I miss my old life and sense of freedom, i cry all the time. And don't know how to ease the pain. How can I move on from this?
I'm so sorry you went through this. Please understand you are not at fault in this in any way and you did nothing to cause this to happen to you. This is also the type of trauma that one does not recover from without professional help. You just can't block it out it has be dealt within a proper manner.
I would like you to call an organization called RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, accessible 24/7 by phone (800.656.HOPE) and online (online.rainn.org). They work closely with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers to offer confidential support services to survivors regardless of where they are in their recovery. Their telephone and online hotlines have helped more than 2.25 million survivors.
When you call RAINN you are connect to a local center in your area who can help you find the professional you need to put this awful trauma behind you properly and regain your former life.
It doesn't happen overnight but it starts with one phone call to 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them I know they can help you.
I just recently started my first job after college, nearly two months ago.
One thing that I have noticed is that while my bosses have excellent verbal communication skills, their written communication skills are terrible. I respect them a great deal, BUT the content that they write is absolutely horrendous. This is mainly because they are from India and English is not their first language.
There are a ton of spelling mistakes and terribly written content. I think that this could impact sales.
One of my bosses, the VP of Marketing gave me a case study, telling me to make suggestions on which content to add. While none of the diagrams or flow charts are terrible, the content is terribly written and would not sit well with a U.S. client.
You do not say what you position is with the company. I understand how you feel as I too had a supervisor who although an American used the wrong words or words out of context. He would use wood for would and brake for break so on and so on.
Just what your position is depends on just what you can do. If you are in sales like I was you can take the diagrams and flow charts he/they give you scan them into a computer and fix the written content. Three of the seven of us in my region did this as a team each taking a part of whatever needing fix and fixing our section then combining our work. The benefit of doing this was we could put the content into our own words which made it easier for presentations.
If you work under them in the Marketing Department then again depending on your position, should I assume your major was marketing, if so then your responsibility would include showing them a better way to produce the same product with different wording to bring in more sales.
The key here is you don't tell them there content is horrible. You say something like, "I was looking at this and it struck me if we made a few changes in content it would make a more powerful presentation." "What do you think?"
Since they are your supervisors and until they learn to defer to your grasp of the language is better than theirs. You have to take the second chair and bolster their egos and let your idea be their thought.
Good luck
Hi guys I need help.
I think my brother is crazy and needs help. It is the second time that my brother has asked me for sex. The first time he asked was a few months ago when he though that I was masturbating in my room and asked to join in via text and I got so angry and started screaming at him. This second time, we were alone in the house. I was in my room and he was in the living room. I texted me and asked me to have sex with him and I got even angrier and went to the living room and told him to cut it off and that he did it again I would tell my parents and he made up an excuse that someone might have hacked his phone and texted me that...now this brother of mine im not so sure that he is really my brother because he acts and looks very different from everyone else in our family and what kind of a brother asks his sister for sex?!. What can I do to make sure that he is really my brother? Like a paternity test or something.
and also
Should I tell someone else in the family?
I dont know that to do
If you really want to know if your brother is truly your brother you could have a DNA test done but I warn you they are expensive. At the very least if he is living with you one of your parents is his parent which would make him a half brother. OF course he could be adopted but is you two are old enough to be at least thinking of sex I would think your parents would have told you by know. I would suggest you accept the fact that he is your brother.
While it is weird and offensive for your brother to be asking you for sex it is not all that unusual; especially if the brother and sister are very close which doesn't sound like is the case here. Since you have told him twice no you should consider telling your parents. Like you I don't buy the excuse someone hacked his phone either.
If I were you I would tell him if he makes any attempt to have sex with you or asks you one more time you are going straight to your parents. If he sends you any texts of a sexual nature make sure to save them and show them to your parents.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and it's now time to marry, I fingered her one night and noticed she wasn't bleeding, was she really a virgin? Can a virgin be fingered without bleeding? Will she bleed if I finally have sex with her with penis on our honeymoon?
If you are equating a virgin with having a Hymen then you are in for a surprise. Today's active women and women that use tampons may have already lost their Hymen's without ever being penetrated by a penis. Then there is also the fact that the Hymen is not a solid piece of tissue blocking the entrance to the vagina. IT has holes in it to allow the menstrual blood to pass through each month. It is quite possible to finger a girl who still retains her Hymen and not rupture it to cause bleeding.
Knowing these facts my advice to you would be to accept your girlfriend at her word that she is a virgin.
Why does my mom refuse to go vegan, while repeatedly insinuating that I have an eating disorder because I eat a lot of fruits and veggies?
She's obese and trying to lose weight. I was obese 1 year ago, before I went vegan. Now, for the first time in my life since age 11 or 12, I'm finally a normal weight once more. My mom used to tell me to eat more veggies and now she'll talk to me about orthorexia or say to me in front of others that veganism is like bulimia (i'm not sure she even knows what bulimia is) when I say I love whole, REAL foods now. i used to be addicted to so much junk food in the past. my health was a mess. i had signs of diabetes and atherosclerosis as a teenager. now my blood test results are great. i don't get why my mom tries to negate this and is so opposed to go vegan to help her own health. she thinks it would be crazy to live without chicken or fish. that's what i thought before i tried out veganism and found it was a lot easier than it seemed, especially when you learn how unhealthy and bad for the environment animal agriculture is. it's just frustrating, and yes she can do whatever in her life, but she wants good health without doing what's required to get there, despite seeing proof in front of her eyes of the power of vegan nutrition
Congratulations for making a plan and sticking with it. Your success is you have your weight under control and your health back. Turning to a vegan diet to accomplish this worked for you. For whatever her reasons you mom does not believe in this diet or lifestyle and you being her child will not convince her.
I know that following a proper vegan nutrition plan is an extremely healthy life style. Several of the people I call on as a Representative of the Company I work for are Vegans. As part of my job I take them to lunch and try to find Vegan or vegetarian restaurants. While I am not a either I can enjoy an occasional meal with them in these restaurants but not as a lifestyle.
IF your mom truly wishes to lose weight there are diet plans out there that work that will allow her to eat the foods she likes but in moderation including between meal snacks. What you need to do is be supportive of her dieting, make sure she sticks to a diet plan and help he break the habit of snacking on junk food.
I can't tell you why your mom thinks Vegan and Bulimia are the same, they are not even close. Bulimia is eating and purging. A vegan diet is simply following a healthy diet. The only suggestion I can make her is if you see the same family doctor is you ask the doctor to speak to mom maybe she will respect the doctor's opinion.
You're an adult now and you do not have to answer to your mom for your lifestyle. In the same manner your mom does not answer to you for her lifestyle and fro you to continue to harp on her to go vegan will only drive a wedge between you. Do support her in a diet plan of her choosing. Help her stick to her diet. Suggest to her she pick a diet plan such as weight watchers where there is a support group that comes with it.
You are not going to get your mom to follow your diet so stop trying and just be supportive in getting her to lose weight. Tell her things like you want her around to help you raise her grandchildren. That usually works for most moms.
So I had sex around June. I am not trying to get pregnant. We used a condom and it didn't break.
The next morning I woke up feeling sick, not throwing up, but feeling sick. It's been around 5 to weeks now and I decide to take a pregnancy test. So I took the test in the morning, afternoon, and in the night. The all came out negative. I took an early response pregnancy test.
I didn't know I was suppose to take it 5 days before my period. I have irregular periods so I didn't know hen my period was going to come but I took the early response pregnancy test. So can I be pregnant since I took an early pregnancy test without knowing when my period will come?
I seriously doubt your pregnant,. Most likely stress over worrying about being pregnant is the cause of missed period More women miss their period over stress brought on over worry about missed periods then pregnancy.
If you want to be sure make see your doctor for a pregnancy test.
Why do I need to wear a cup when I'm playing soccer
Well if your a guy the cup protects your scrotum and testes . Your testes make the sperm that fertilize the egg that makes the baby. should you get kicked in the groin, very possible in a soccer game, your testes could be injured and you could become infertile. Meaning your testes would not make sperm and you could not make a baby you would be sterile. If you are a woman the cup protects you vagina from injury from a kick to the groin.
Groin kicks t a male or female are considered serious injuries. So serious that EMS considers them life threatening and transports accordingly to hospitals.
Hello, I currently have two jobs, I love my first job, but wanted something to supplement my off hours and weekends so I got a second job at a clothing store.
Well when I first got the job I was psyched because it's at one of my favorite stores, but the farther I got into the hiring process the worse off things looked. They were only going to pay me minimum wage (I have past experience in retail and management) and start me with 4 hours a week, that isn't even worth my time. Then I found out they had filled a supervisor position so there's no chance of me moving up anytime soon. On top of that they said if I ever missed a shift or came in more than 5 minutes late they would immediately fire me. This is an issue because I already have one other job and a full class schedule so if they put me on for hours I can't do then I'm not going to miss class or my permanent job for this one.
I know that it would seem like they wouldn't put me on for hours that I can't be scheduled for, but I already gave my boss my schedule and right away she wanted me to miss an hour at my first job to come in to the other job and told me if I don't then I can't work there, so obviously she doesn't respect my schedule.
Anyways, I went through the hiring process and was told that the store had an issue with registers being short so everybody would be patted down and have their purses and belongings checked to make sure we weren't stealing. This seems like an invasion of privacy to me. I shrugged it off and acted like everything was great and I couldn't wait to officially start, however she then told me she didn't have any hours available for me for two weeks. This also seemed kind of rude to me. Why would you hire somebody and then tell them they won't even start for half a month and that when they do, you're only going to give them 4 hours? What's the point of even working there then? I'd only be making $32 a week minus tax...
After thinking about it for the week, I'm considering just going in to use my employee discount and then turning down the job position. I'm supposed to have another interview shortly for elsewhere and if they offer me that position I will take it.
My only question is are there any possible consequences to this other than burning a bridge? This isn't considering any kind of stealing right? The employee discount is 40% off.
There is so much wrong here it is hard to know where to start. Normally I would tell just to call the manager and say you thank you but after contemplation you do not need the job that badly for so little hours and all that goes with it. While I am going to tell you to do just that.
What I would tell you not to do would be to just walk away and forget them and the 40% discount. Given everything else they have told you that is blatantly illegal. If you feel justified in using the discount to get some needed clothing before telling them you have had a change of heart then go ahead. It would serve them right and if someway be vindication for the wrongs they perpetrate on those that are working there.
I am 21/F and I have been sexually active for a little over 2 and a half years. I started out on "the pill" way before but due to my hectic schedule and general forgetfulness I didn't feel that it was a smart choice for contraceptive measures once I became sexually active.
I now have implanon implanted in my arm and have for a little over a year. My only complaint is that it makes my period very irregular, which my gyno told me was normal.
Now that I have a steady boyfriend and we have both been tested for STDs we have sex on a regular basis. I am really not a fan of condoms so we have sex without them. I did a lot of research and consultation with my gynecologist and have been reassured that having your (STD free) partner ejaculate inside of you is safe as long as the implant is not expired. I really, really enjoy having my boyfriend finish inside of me, I find it incredibly pleasurable and it feels very intimate to me, but I am still concerned because of how irregular my periods are. I'm not sure if it is worth the paranoia anymore and I feel very conflicted. My boyfriend has told me if it makes me uncomfortable we can go back to still "pulling out" but I feel silly after I have already been told that it makes no difference to "pull out" - that is what my gyno and Planned Parenthood has said.
Does anyone else struggle with this paranoia? I know some people will say that if sex makes you nervous you shouldn't be having sex, but I don't find that to be reasonable. I love sex, I practice safe sex, and I want to be able to enjoy it the way that I feel fit. If anyone else has routines or tips that help them deal with their irregular periods or any relevant insight I would be very grateful. Thank you!
Not being a women I cannot fully appreciate your problem. What I can appreciate is the anxiety issue as I too have suffered from anxiety and it is very scary and hard to overcome. Constant reassurance that whatever is being obsessed over causing the anxiety is okay or going to be okay is a help. What really is needed as I think you know is finding that individual trigger.
I know you know that missing a period when it is suppose to happen doesn't mean your pregnant, but and old trigger some place is clicking and bang anxiety hits. One thing you can do to reassure yourself is lay in a supply of home test kits and test when your period is late. That may help alleviate the anxiety but maybe not. You could ask you doctor for some medication but that only masks the symptoms and makes you feel kind of funny to boot.
The only true way to stop this is to stop it before it starts and that means finding that old trigger and silencing it. The only way I know to do that effectively is with talk therapy with a clinical psychologist. A good psychologist will help you dig whatever this thing is out. It may be so deep seated you don't even realize it but once it is brought to the front of the mind you can deal with effectively and the anxiety goes away.
Therefore my advice is find a clinical psychologist you are comfortable with and find that trigger. It will be well worth the effort this I can assure you of.
Hi. I am a 14 year old female. I have the Norplant Implant and I have got a boyfriend, who I have been with for 5 and a half months now. My mother says I am not allowed to meet my boyfriends family because she says she doesn't know if they will be in the house or not. She knows I want to have sex with my bf, but I have condoms and the implant. The implant is working, so why is she being unreasonable?! She has also said that if I get pregnant, then I am not allowed even the morning after pill. I am not allowed an abortion unless I am raped, but if I want an abortion, I want an abortion. It's my body. What should I do? My mother is staunch on what she has said, and I'm barely allowed to even see my boyfriend. I just want to do stuff, and I know we will be safe cos we are both virgins, I have the implant and we are gonna use condoms cos we are not dense. What should I do? I am from Europe.
I agree with the other two writers that you are way to young to be having sex. Let me ask you a question or two.
1. Is it you who wants to have sex or is your boyfriend saying to you something like, "If you love me you will have sex with me." If he is trying to get you to have sex with him as a way of proving your love for him. He does not love you as you may love him. He LUSTS for you and that is not love.
Sex should come as the result of your love not to prove your love for someone. Teenage boys want sex because puberty is making them want it. They are getting erections all the time because of hormones going wild and really has nothing to do with external excitement. What he really need is to release the sexual energy which he can easily do through masturbation or someone giving him a handjob. At your age this is what you could be doing for him if you wanted to and if you wanted you could let him finger you. No one has ever gotten pregnant from a handjob or fingering and it serves the same purpose.
2. How did you get the Norplant Implant. Which is a good contraceptive and you should still use condoms as besides protecting you from pregnancy they also protect from many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
My advice is not to have sex with him. Offer him alternative release through a hand job but keep your clothes on. For if he is like most teenage boys he does not love you the way you love him. This I truly believe for I was once his age and I know from where I speak.
please I don't know how to tell my virgin to make me help her lose virginity because I love her and Iwant something to say or convince her to make love to me
First you don't convince someone to have sex with you. Once they say no to you it is over. Any continued pleading on your part to have sex with you is SEXUAL HARASSMENT,AND IN SOME STATES IT IS A FELONY EVEN FOR SOMEONE YOUR AGE.
She is not ready to have sex or she does not feel about you as you feel about her. Most likely she feels that all you want from her is sex and that what you say as love is really lust. Lust and love are not the same look up the definition of each if you don't believe me.
There is a lot more to sex for her than a few minutes in bed with you. She has to be worried about pregnancy. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. As I said above is your professed love really love. Will you be caught, what will people think of her if they find out. What will he parents say if they find out.
If your parents find out your having sex mom will probably flip out on you. Dad will secretly pat you on the back and say way to go son. For her both parents will flip out and she will probably be grounded for the distant future. So she has a lot more to lose if it is ever found out she is sexually active.
My advice is to stop asking, when and if she is ever ready to have sex with you she will tell you.
is it true that men only have female friends because they want to screw them, and u all only stick around in hopes that u all get a chance to screw them.....because there is no way a man and a woman can truly be just friends????
I had heard Steve Harvey make this comment on his show, so I thought I'd ask folks what they thought....thanks for the answers
Not totally true. What is true is men have a higher sex drive in their youth then most women. What is also true is young boys confuse lust and love, to them the two are synonymous. For a teenage male the goal is to have as much sex as he possible can. They use lines such as; "If you love me you will have sex with me." This is not what sex is all about. You do not prove your love for someone by having sex with them. You have sex with someone as a result of your love. There is a fine line of distinction there but it is there.
Yes there is such a thing as recreational sex. Not something you do as a teenager in high school at least for a girl as you get a reputation for being easy. Recreational sex is more of an adult thing usually one night stands as a result of pick-ups in bars or clubs.
There are no reason men and women can't be just friends. For me it was the girl next door. Yes she was very beautiful and if we hadn't grown up together, been each other’s confidants, I'm sure things would have been different between us. Instead she was as much my sister as my own sister is. Then there are the sisters of my friends they are also my friends who I knew too well to date let alone to go after for sex. We were all just buddies.
It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex who are just friends or who are friends with benefits. This is entirely up to you. Remember it takes two to Tango and two to have a sexual relationship.
So, I have this overly stressful, impossible to cure issue. No form of therapy will ever help, as I've tried. I'd appreciate if you don't bring up therapy, because (even though I will take it in, respectfully) I will not try therapy again.
My issue is an unhealthy obsession with improving myself - my appearance, my personality, my mental health, my physical health, etcetera.
In appearance, I am buying facial cleansers, toners, moisturizers, exfoliate brushes, conditioning lip treatments nonstop and it's the reason why I never have any cash on me. I'm always broke because I can not stop buying creams and cleansers and such for my skin.
I am working myself to death at the gym, going there every day. And I keep exercising to the point where I'm so close to a heart attack. But I desperately want my dream body.
In personality, I'm always asking all my friends what I can do to better my personality. I'm so afraid they'll end up leaving because of my constant asking. But I always feel I could be sweeter, could be more understanding, could be more calm, could be more caring, could be more giving, so I continue to improve my personality without ever stopping.
In mental health, I'm always making sure I'm eating the right foods to make me happy, exercising more, doing yoga and meditation and praying constantly, etcetera.
Improving myself is the ONLY thing I ever think about. I don't ever think about anything else.
It's really stressful and my hair's falling out because of this. I'm so fucking obsessed with improving myself and I don't know how to stop.
I feel like it stems from never once in my life feeling good enough. I always think everyone looks better than me and can do anything better than me. I don't know what to do, because I can't stop. It's an addiction, it's like the most powerful drug to ever be taken.
I feel happy, but deep down, I'm so depressed.
...help.
I'm not a doctor but from what you have written it sounds like you have a problem with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(s). This type of disorder sometimes require medication. Have you ever been examined by a psychiatrist.
A Board Certified psychiatrist is the best doctor to examine and treat you for this disorder as the disorder is more of a medical issue dealing with hormone levels in the brain than a mental issue. Because of a fellowship done in psychiatry a Board Certified psychiatrist is better able to medicate you then a family doctor.
If you have not talked to and been examined by a psychiatrist then I suggest you do. Medication has been very effective in treating this disorder and no you will not feel like or walk around feeling like a zombie.
As for therapy. I went through therapy myself for depression. There are different types of therapists out there who follow different types of theories on psychology. Some are Freudians many follow other theories. Biggest problem for you and me is they don't advertise which theory they follow in treating patients.
For the patient it is trial and error finding a therapist whose style of treatment you are comfortable with. I went through 3 different therapists before I found one I was comfortable with. She took her time with me and didn't push me but kept after me to reveal what I had hidden away that was causing my depression. Once she got that out of me I was able to move forward and I am now cured.
While hormones were part of my problem insufficient amount to ward off depression. Hormones are a part of your problem as well but there's also a trigger just as I had that is causing this obsessive compulsion you have. You really need to find a therapist you are comfortable talking with. One who you will share your deepest darkest secrets with. Remember what you say in therapy stays in therapy.
If you have to change therapist 2, 3or as many times as needed until you find someone your comfortable working with do so. Life on the other side of this disorder you have will be worth it.
How do I convince a guy I'm not to young for him?
Sorry I misread your question. It would still help to know your ages. If for instance there is a large age difference, say 10 or more years, it will be harder to convince him that you are not to young for him
I would think it would be simple enough to just say, "I like you but I'm too young for you and we cannot see each other anymore."
Without more information on the difference in your ages that is the best I can offer.
I'm 14 and my penis is 8.3 inches and 4 inches in girth. Is that normal or should I be concerned?
According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.
Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.
Average Vagina Size
Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch
Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches
As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina; any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.
Should you be concerned? I'm not sure concerned is what you should be. Considerate when attempting intercourse would be more correct. Be prepared for rejection be teenage girls as someone with you penis size is going to scare them if you do not prepare them for what they are going to see.
Women may talk about wanting a man with a big penis but yours is above average and it is going to scare them especially if they are virgins or not that experienced with sex.
You have what you have there is nothing you can do about that and you will have a great sex life once you get past your teenage years. Until you meet someone you can make a life with you will always have to make her aware of your size before you get in bed so she can be prepared. Be considerate and take your time entering her. Make sure to have lubricant with you as you will need it. If you are a considerate lover you need not be concerned about your size.
female 13
Okay so i am in a "relationship" with a guy and he is sweet and everything, and i really like him like a lot.....but he is so shy and no matter how hard i try to break him out of that barrier he just stays in it. We have really only been on 1 date (and that's because at a school field trip we spent the whole time together by ourselves talking and all this other stuff, and it was really fun and all but that is all i really got. i have invited him to sooooo many things, but every time i invite him to something,he is a no show or has some lame excuse. Now many people say i am a flirty person and i am trying hard to dial it back a lot. And i have generally focused my time on him. But i recently broke my phone and i dont have my phone numbers from my phone.. SO i tried to get a hold of him via socail media on my sisters phone, i asked him to get a certain online texting app so i can text him and he said he didnt have enough storage...That kind of hurt me because shouldn't boyfriends do anything to keep in contact with their "girlfriends". So feeling a little neglected by him, my feelings are kind of draining but i am trying SO hard to keep this relationship going. I was going to break up with him but he begged for another chance and i gave it to him. Anyways, so since my feelings are slowly draining, i have sort of strayed, there is this guy at my church and he is sooooo cute. we both have feelings for eachother but i am not trynna be a cheater. The guy from my church pays a lot of attention to me and i feel like my body is pushing me towards him because he is giving me that attention that my "boyfriend" is not giving me. When i hear my "boyfriends" name i smile quickly and just think about how cute he is.. and how his shyness is kind of holding him back. But then i think of how i am trying way harder than he is and that is not how relationships work. When i hear the guy from my churches name, i smile for a while just because of the attention he gives me and how he seems so interested, i am not trynna be a cheater so i have never acted on anything with the church guy. I just need help because i dont wanna dump my "boyfriend" for another guy because that would be a shitty thing to do. But i also dont want my boyfriend to be giving in less than i am in this relationship. Anyone who can understand this and can help me please do because i really need it
Your 13 at the very beginning of your teenage years. Even though your writing show you to be very mature. At this point in your life you should not be in the type of relationship you write about. I know from others that this seems to be the norm today and I don't understand the rush to be in a relationship. It appears if you don't have a steady boyfriend and you have become a teenager then your an old maid.
Your teenage years are a time you should be exploring life, expanding your horizons, spreading your wings. Doing things with others maybe some silly things, we all did them. Get to know many people and find out just what makes us different from one another. You need to date many different boys. In my day it was called playing the field. We dated in and out of our circle of friends. Yes we went steady, as it was called and most of those relationships lasted a few weeks to a few months.
Of all my friends only one married from within our group of friends as young teenagers and they really did not get together until after we all graduated from High school. The rest of us after High School went our separate way off to college or the military we met new people made new friends and married people we met after high school. Few of us have stayed in touch with each other since leaving high school as our lives and interest have changed.
This will be the same for you as you grow through the teenage years and go off to college. My advise is if the relationship with this one guy is not working then go ahead and see what dating the church guy will be like. This is what teenage life is all about. Not every relationship is going to workout but you learn something from each.
Just don't be a snob and look to date the popular guys, the ball players or the ones who could be models. There are some really great guys who don't fit that mold that you need to get to know.
I want to go to Disney in a few months for my birthday, and I live roughly 20 hours away from it (I would take a plane). Is it worth going alone? Probably not right? I've wanted to go to Disney for my birthday for as long as I can remember, and it's a pretty special birthday to me. If anyone knows what I should do (I've asked my friends already, and they don't know if they can). Disney can just be so expensive but I've been working my butt of for this because I want it very badly. I would appreciate it very much if someone can give me some advice on what to do. Thanks!
Go, Disney is truly a magical place and you will find other your age there to hang with. I know it will be expensive but try to stay in the park as there are many things to do in the evening for all age groups.
Below is a guy I know, though he knows me by my real name only, who is someone who is a Disney vacation guide. If the link below doesn't work you can find him in Facebook as Zack Risoldi he is a paramedic out west and he will most likely come up as such. He can help you plan your Disney vacation, make your reservations and get you all the available discounts.
Email Disney Vacations by Zach
Risoldi@deletedzach
Hello I'm a 23 year old male that resides in Pennsylvania. I have no prior criminal record. About two week ago this guy ive known for a while (I've known him about a year and my mom has known him even longer) who sells adderals and subutex and buys them off other people when he doesn't have any. I've been trying to stay clean off narcotics and I just wanted a adderal to keep my mind clear and focus on job applications and interviews. I asked him but he didn't have any. He referred me to this guy who he has known for a long time and sells to and buys from. So I purchased one adderal from this guy after him running me around for days. About a week later he told me he would give me a adderal if I could get him a bundle of heroin. I paid the money for the heroin which he would give me back. It turned out he was an informant and I gave him the bundle and he gave me the money I paid for it and stated he had to get the adderals and would be right back. A couple minutes later I was swarmed with task force cops and searched(nothing else found on me besides the money he gave me) and I was arrested for possession/manufacturing of a controlled substance with the intent to deliver (I brought one bundle and gave it for the price I paid how is that manufacturing) and all the charges that come with it like use of a phone facility and all that. Pretty much all the charges are felonys with one 3rd degree felony. The judge at arraignment told me I'm facing up to 10 years. I'm just wondering with having no record and it's my 1st offense of a drug charge does anyone know what I will be facing when it comes to sentencing?
Just how much time you do depends on certain factors. Get yourself a good lawyer and see if a deal can't be cut with the prosecutor where you give them the next in line. That being the person that sold you the drugs.
I'm surprised that offer hasn't been made to you as you are in the grand scheme of things chump change. The cops want the big fish, the distributors. They catch the small fish in the hopes of working up to bigger fish.
If you are not cooperating you can expect to do a large part of the 10 years. If you cooperate and can give them the next in line it is possible you can deal for probation. Get yourself a good lawyer not a public defender.
I've already been to the doctor, and I will describe what happened here, in the question. But, I'm really trying to get an opinion from someone else that perhaps, has gone through what I've gone through.
PROBLEM #1: I'm 25/f and I'm just extremely tired. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. When I wake up, all I can think about is how much longer until I can go back to sleep. I just feel genuinely exhausted. I'm always being urged to go on vacations, but I don't seem to be interested in them. When I think of having a three day weekend, the last thing I wanna do is go on vacation. I just want to catch up on sleep and maybe some television. I have my bachelor's in education and I worked as an assistant teacher for some time. But, I had horrible experiences. I did it three years. The first year, it was terrible because I was still in school and I had another part time job. I would work from 8:30-3:30, then go to my other job from 4-8pm. Then, I would typically have class from 8:30-10:00 at night. I would get home by 10:30 and if I was lucky, I'd be asleep by 11, and do it all over again the next day. It was horrible. Keep in mind, too, that school requires work outside of class. So, it's not like I had the weekends to relax. It was just go go go. I became so anxious that I had to start taking medication to relax. I thought that I was having a heart attack one day, unable to breathe, but it was really just anxiety. So, I took that for a little while, and eventually, I felt better, my schedule leveled out, and I was able to come off of it. But, I enjoyed my job and my kids so much. Had it not been for everything else, I probably would have loved it more. The second time, I was working in after care, and it was completely different. There were no lessons and it was super boring. All I did was basically watch children play. No challenge, no stimulation. Then, the third time, I just got stuck with a horrible teacher. I guess I wasn't the only one because I heard from an old friend of her's that all her assistant's quit. That she was impossible to work with. That was the straw that led me to leave teaching. I quickly enrolled in a higher education master's program and started working in a university office. I've been working there for 9 months now. Honestly, though, this is not what I love to do. In addition, having a year round 8-5 schedule is not something I was use to. My goal now, is to get back into teaching and eventually, become a guidance counselor. But, I lack the confidence. And it's not because I don't have the credentials. I do. I just really lack confidence in so many areas of my life.
PROBLEM #2: I recently moved into my own house. I was very excited about this. My mom is single and lives with my grandparents. My uncle recently divorced his wife, and he and his daughter (my cousin) are living with my grandparents. My mom was given her own efficiency room (which I had been asking for since the time I was 19), and she refuses to stay there as a way to protest my uncle's staying there. She cries every day saying she wants to go home and wants her room back. But, she decided it would be more appropriate to stay with me. She now refuses to stay in the guest room. She sleeps in my bed. I have an efficiency in my home, which I rent out to tenants. So, I only have one bathroom right now, on my side of the house. She's made a complete mess. I never had my own room growing up. All I was excited about was getting my own room, then I got my own house, and she took over my room. I don't think I should have to move into my grandparent's efficiency and give my mom MY HOUSE just because she decided. I should be able to stay in MY HOUSE. She's the one that needs to go home.
PROBLEM #3: my mom controls my relationships like you wouldn't imagine. There's one I've had to keep a secret from her because she's threatened my safety. I have felt suicidal about this and couldn't shake the thought of escaping the prison she's put me in. I would never follow through with this. But, it's not an easy thing to live with. Ideally, I just want to leave this city. But, eventually, I will have to face her if I decide to continue this relationship. But, the fear eats me up alive every day.
All of these problems, I believe, are leading me to feel depressed. But, if they disappeared... if I suddenly felt more confident and happy in my career, if I was able to feel rested after a night' sleep, if I had my own bedroom, if my mom wasn't involved in my relationships, if I could date whoever I wanted at 25, if I could go out without my mom calling me 24/7 about when I was coming home... I think I would be happy. I look at people's pictures on Facebook and there's these 2 girls in particular that I know who are SO cheerful! I'm sure they have problems and I'm not naive enough to think they've got it all together. But, their cheerful. I can't even be cheerful. I'm constantly worried, afraid of my mom, and tired. My uncle took over her home and now she took over mine. I would leave the city sooner, but I'm still finishing my master's program.
So, do you think I'm depressed? That I actually need medication... or that these are circumstances causing me to feel this way? They will always try to get you to be on meds for "a little while" but, why should I have to put unwanted hormones into my body just because my aunt decided to leave my uncle? Because my mom decided to take over my house? It's just not fair. Why do I have to be medicated because of irresponsible people taking advantage of me? Taking pills isn't going to change the problem with my mom and the dating thing. It's not gonna take my mom out of the house. My mom watches TV in my room till 11 or 12. i have to be up by 6. So, yes, I'm tired! Why should i have to take pills because my mom won't let me sleep at 9:30/10:00? Or do you think this is deeper... and I need pills?
Thanks in advance
I have suffered from depression and now am considered cured. It took time, medication and a lot of hard work with a clinical psychologist to get where I am today. I am a different person then I was when depressed and I made many changes in my life so not to relapse and you will need to as well.
First you need to find a Board Certified Physiatrist to evaluate you and provide the proper medication. Your primary care doctor is not qualified to do this for you. a Board Certified Physiatrist is a medical doctor who has done a Fellowship in psychiatry and has passed the test by the College of Psychiatry to be certified. This is the best doctor to medicate you.
You will then be told to see a Clinical Psychologist for talk therapy. This is where the real work on curing the depression happens. The psychologist should become your new best friend, someone you feel comfortable sharing your deepest darkest secrets with. You may have to change therapist a few times before you find the one your comfortable with. This is fine, I went through three before I found the one I could be comfortable with who just happened to be a women.
That was the medical side, now for the lifestyle side. Send mom home or back to your grandparents. I see this problem as one of the triggers of your depression. she has places to stay and it is not as if your kicking her to the curb with no place to go.
Your mom living with you and taking over the private space you have worked hard for I see as a depressive trigger. sending mom back to grandma removes the trigger one less trigger to deal with.
Next you have to stand up for yourself. You are 25 years old and you cannot allow your mother to control you. You are an adult entitled to all the privileges of an adult. She may not like your lifestyle or a boyfriend but as the saying goes it is your life to live if she doesn't like that's just tough.
I had a somewhat similar problem with my father. One day I sat down and wrote him a letter telling everything that was wrong and every hurt he ever did to me. I told him he had to change or I didn't want to see him any more and I would not see him again until he apologized. My father has never apologized in his life.
That letter was the hardest letter I ever wrote. It was also the most life changing letter I ever wrote. A world of problems was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I have never spoken or seen my father again until the day he died and I'm fine with that. My therapist and I spoke at length about him and what I chose to do. It was my decision to write the letter, she supported me afterwards. My father was the biggest trigger of my depression and I was suffered unknowingly with depression for a good portion of my life.
Don't be like me get help, claim your life back. Demand you mother treat you as the adult you are and send her back to grandma. I believe if you do these three things most of the depression will lift immediately. They rest will lift with the help of talk therapy.