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Why does my mom refuse to go vegan, while thinking i have bulimia
Why does my mom refuse to go vegan, while repeatedly insinuating that I have an eating disorder because I eat a lot of fruits and veggies?
She's obese and trying to lose weight. I was obese 1 year ago, before I went vegan. Now, for the first time in my life since age 11 or 12, I'm finally a normal weight once more. My mom used to tell me to eat more veggies and now she'll talk to me about orthorexia or say to me in front of others that veganism is like bulimia (i'm not sure she even knows what bulimia is) when I say I love whole, REAL foods now. i used to be addicted to so much junk food in the past. my health was a mess. i had signs of diabetes and atherosclerosis as a teenager. now my blood test results are great. i don't get why my mom tries to negate this and is so opposed to go vegan to help her own health. she thinks it would be crazy to live without chicken or fish. that's what i thought before i tried out veganism and found it was a lot easier than it seemed, especially when you learn how unhealthy and bad for the environment animal agriculture is. it's just frustrating, and yes she can do whatever in her life, but she wants good health without doing what's required to get there, despite seeing proof in front of her eyes of the power of vegan nutrition
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Maybe give some free advice about: Nutrition?
Guess what? You get to be in charge of what you put in your body and she gets to be in charge of what she puts in hers! You don't get to be in control of that. Stop trying to change her. No matter how much you "care" your advice-giving in this situation only makes you sound "holier-than-thou." Learn to accept that other people have free will and will not always do what you want them to! Even the advice I"m giving you now is up to you to take or not take! That's a big lesson. Learn it sooner rather than later.
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Your mom may not even know what holds her back from trying vegan. And you are right, many want the results without having to do the work to get there. And your mom is part of a society raised and trained by media to beleive we can have anything we want instantly...thus credit cards raither than savign up for like grandparents did and fast food rather than learning how to cook.
You won't be able to help her but if she gets to the place where she is finally serious about doing whatever it takes to lose the weight but just doesnt have the drive to go through with it, then she may want to see a particular kind of counselor, psychologist who deals with Self Defeating Thoughts, discovering which ones are running in the background of your mind like virus's on a computer. This alone could make her not want to go for it Sometimes we want something with our conscious mind, like mom wanting to lose weight but we are at war with our subconscious mind which wants the opposite. So with this tug of war, she'll end up not making progress in either direction. Again, some psuchologists are good at that and dont push medications but look for dealing with issues at the source, of what caused them in the first place and usually thats a mind that has too much negative or distorted thoughts that influence our actions or inactions.
So its not that Mom may not beleive you when she has the proof in front of her. I agree to use what adviceman said abut wanting her around when you have children. That was the final thought I had that helped me leave my ex. I wanted to be alive still to see them marrief and be a grandmother. That is a powerful thought for a woman. But it may not be enough to turn her around. Check if she's willing to look around for a psychologist whose practice deals with SDTs, self defearing thoughts, distorting thinking and uses CBT ognitive Behavioral therapy or the T.E.A.M. therapy to help a person get past what is holding them hostage.
I encourage you to check out first the website of a psychologist gone author to teach the common person that there are other better working choices to help a person past whatever holds them back in life, whether its depression or anxieties or self defeating thoughts. This would be something you could bring up to Mom, maybe even get one of the books from library if they have it and take turns reading it to her. Once she realises that there is something that can really help, she may be more likely to give it her all but she probably already knows that sheer effort of will for her won't work so she doesnt even try.
Here's the wevsite to check out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Congratulations for making a plan and sticking with it. Your success is you have your weight under control and your health back. Turning to a vegan diet to accomplish this worked for you. For whatever her reasons you mom does not believe in this diet or lifestyle and you being her child will not convince her.
I know that following a proper vegan nutrition plan is an extremely healthy life style. Several of the people I call on as a Representative of the Company I work for are Vegans. As part of my job I take them to lunch and try to find Vegan or vegetarian restaurants. While I am not a either I can enjoy an occasional meal with them in these restaurants but not as a lifestyle.
IF your mom truly wishes to lose weight there are diet plans out there that work that will allow her to eat the foods she likes but in moderation including between meal snacks. What you need to do is be supportive of her dieting, make sure she sticks to a diet plan and help he break the habit of snacking on junk food.
I can't tell you why your mom thinks Vegan and Bulimia are the same, they are not even close. Bulimia is eating and purging. A vegan diet is simply following a healthy diet. The only suggestion I can make her is if you see the same family doctor is you ask the doctor to speak to mom maybe she will respect the doctor's opinion.
You're an adult now and you do not have to answer to your mom for your lifestyle. In the same manner your mom does not answer to you for her lifestyle and fro you to continue to harp on her to go vegan will only drive a wedge between you. Do support her in a diet plan of her choosing. Help her stick to her diet. Suggest to her she pick a diet plan such as weight watchers where there is a support group that comes with it.
You are not going to get your mom to follow your diet so stop trying and just be supportive in getting her to lose weight. Tell her things like you want her around to help you raise her grandchildren. That usually works for most moms.
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It's great that your mom wants to lose weight, she is not required to do the way you did. There are many other ways.
You need to give your mother a bit more respect—even if she's frustrating you right now.
Like you said: She knows the vegan diet worked for you in terms of weight loss. She can see that. If she doesn't want to do that, that's the end of discussion. You know it's her life and her body, take a deep breath and let your actions reflect that knowledge.
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