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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
15/f
~so i have this fleshy lump thingy in my vagina. like right near the opening .. not on a lip but actually in the hole.... like blocking my opening i think?! it seems the size of my vagina and isnt so big it hurts or i notice it.... IT DOESENT HURT AT ALL WHICH IS GOOD :) so i have left it alone and never told my mom ... its been a year now and it is the same size and hasent changed and doesent hurt but it is kinda hard and fleshy but doesent hurt..... but i like cant see an opening from just looking in the mirror cause it looks like i dont have an opening cause of this fleshy thing. Bur i have never had sex or anything like that. but im scared to tell my mom or doctor... so what do you think it is? and what would be the treatments? cause i dont want anything painful!!!! but im scared cause ifeel like i have cancer or something and i dont wanna die or end up really sick cause i havent gone to a doctor.... BUT IT DOESENT BUG ME ? NO PAIN ........ please help! i searched online and got really scared by what it might be!!! so scared!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Not being a woman I cannot say for sure what that lump may be. What I will say is this; if you are concerned enough to write to the advisors on this Website for information then you have valid reasons for being concerned. You should ask your mother to arrange for you to see a Gynecologist. This is something every young woman should do as soon as she has her first period anyway so that the doctor can check a make sure everything is okay. Then you need to have annual checkups with the Gynecologist just as you do with your family doctor.
There is no need to tell your mother why, other than you have started your periods, which she may or may not know, and you would like to be checked out by the doctor. You may if you wish tell your mother your true reason for wanting to see the doctor and no you do not have to undress and let your mother look at the lump. You are entitled to your privacy.
I am recommending you see the doctor for two reasons. First, a Gynecologist is a doctor you should see on a yearly basis anyway and you should start doing so when your periods start. Second none of us on this web site are doctors and should not ever make diagnoses as to what a potential problem may be. That is what doctors are for. No matter what you may think something is, it probably is far less serious than you think and you should not fear going to the doctor. Fear and not going to the doctor can be the cause of more serious problems. If you ever plan on having children, problems with your reproductive organs need to be checked out by a qualified physician; not one of us doing some quick research on the web. Web research is good to gather more information once you have diagnoses.
You answered my question about the 20+ years of age difference between me and my neighbor. I appreciate your advice, I had not thought to check the list of offenders. I just wanted to let you know, he is not registered. Thanks again.
You are quite welcome
There is a guy down the street, he is over 20 years older than me. I am 16. He is really good looking, funny, cool, calm, and collective. We have the same interests (movies, motorcycles, cars). He sits next to me sometimes at parties. We have had conversations about stuff like Cialis (ED medication, we were joking about it), and once Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe came on and we joked about the subliminal messaging in that title ;). I took his chair once when he went to the bathroom, and when he came back he laughed and totally pretended to sit on me and put his butt all in my face. I laughed back. Everytime he walks his dog, I go outside for some reason, and he talks to me. Once, I had texted him and he never responded. I went outside the same day, and he cut his walk short (he always walks to the same spot, this time he stopped and turned around waaaay before that) and he came and talked to me. He said he got my text and answered my question about motorcycles, then we talked about age and how I was sick of being young because I needed a parent signature on EVERYTHING. He said the government was just protecting me from myself. I laughed. I have a friend who is helping try and get more friendly with him. Me and her are planning on inviting him over tonight to help us looking for bikes online since he knows more about them than we do. I hope we can be flirty. Can you give me some advice? I want to be able to be flirty with him and be on a more than friend, summer fling, level. I know the age difference is illegal and bad, but I'm not talking about sex or anything. A kiss would be nice. Can you help me? He is single and lives alone, two doors down on my street.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
You are talking about flirting with someone 20+ years your senior. Let’s assume for a minute that he realizes that all you are doing is flirting. The mere fact that he is associating with you on that level can get him into very serious trouble with the legal system. It doesn’t have to be you or your parents who report him. I am again going to assume your parents are not going to be home when you invite him over. A neighbor knowing your parents are not home could think this very strange and call the police. You want to have what you belief is innocent fun for you and your friend. This so called innocent fun could land this man in jail, for what; mostly for being stupid enough to play your silly game.
There is a flip side to this scenario; What if this single guy is actually a sexual predator, a registered sex offender. Have you ever thought about that? Each state has a list of sexual predators accessible through the internet. It might be wise to check this list to see who in your neighborhood is on this list. I am not saying this guy is on the list but his actions with you do fit those of a child sexual predator.
It is okay for a child to have adult friends. It is just in this day and age one has to very careful in picking those friends and know just who and what they are. By law sexual predators must register with local law enforcement. Unfortunately not every state requires that law enforcement notify the neighborhood that a predator resides among them.
how to kill your self with out pain
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 NOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.
Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). If you have not already done so I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.
You do not say what is bothering you to cause you to think of suicide. Whatever it is it CAN BE RECTIFIED or mitigated that I am certain of. Please call the hotline or go to the hospital for help. I know there are people who love you and would miss you if you were to do this.
Ok imma young girl who is in love with an older guy and he says he loves me to what do I do?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
How many different ways do you need to be told this relationship is wrong? Lets’ start with the legal definition of wrong: If the guy you are dating is over 18 and you are under 18; in many States just the fact you are dating could constitute statutory rape even though you may not have had sex. If you two have crossed any State lines together, without your parents’ permission, this is a violation of the Mann Act which is a Federal Law. Then of course they can throw in contributing to the delinquency of a minor, possible kidnapping charges and a host of other charges depending on the State you live in.
Most likely it is your sexual inexperience he is after and just what his plans may be I have no idea. What I do know is that you are in danger and need to stay away from this man. You need to tell your parents about him and about your relationship with him. They can help you decide if dating him is right or wrong.
You wrote us because your instincts tell you something is wrong. Follow your instincts and follow my advice to inform your parents. Have I tried to scare you with what I have written here? The answer is a definite yes. You have not said how old you are or how old he is. If there is a significant age difference you could be in danger; maybe not immediate danger but you are in danger every time you see this man.
Ok I feel like I'm livin my life on my own.and its hard I feel like I have to do everything around the house I feel like people don care.my aunt made me babysit because I kan helop her out. With stuff and I don't think that's right because she had two sons and she makes them do nothing .I really don't like telling people anything these days I don cry I keep it in.because it really noone business.I try hard to live life rite because my mother ain't her she past on.I jus need help
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
First let me offer my condolences on the passing of your mother. I know how hard this must be for you; while you will always miss your mother the hurt you feel at the moment will eventually ease and you will be able to get on with your life. Grieving is a natural part of life so do not try to hold it in let it out and let others know you are hurting.
It is somewhat of a challenge to answer your question as you have not given your age or why or if you are actually living with your Aunt. Your letter sounds somewhat like the Cinderella story. As to why your aunt makes you do things; she may feel that if she keeps you busy you will not have the time to think about your mom and therefore not feel so alone. Good thought but wrong answer. As I said everyone grieves in their own way and they need to go through the process. There are actually 9 steps to grieving, I will not list them all, included in them are anger. At some point in the process you will get angry with your mother for leaving you. Again this is a natural part of grieving.
Being able to talk with someone not part of your family will definitely help you. There are counselors who are specially trained to help in grief counseling. Your family doctor should be able to recommend someone. You are obviously not old enough to live on your own although you did not say why you are living with your Aunt and not your Father or a Grandparent. A grief counselor can help you here as well if this is one of the problems you’re dealing with. Also anything you and your counselor discuss is totally confidential and cannot be discussed with your Aunt without your permission; even though you may be a minor and she if your Guardian.
So talk to your Aunt and if you think speaking with a grief counselor will help ask her to help you find one. Your visits will be covered by most insurance companies, especially if you are referred by your family doctor.
19/f. I live with my mom and my grandparents. I attend university here where I live. I didn't think I was going to like staying here at home for college but I ended up loving my school. I went to an all girls private high school and it was really a refreshing change to be around guys I guess and also to be around people who r not snobby. Basically, I really liked my school and I'm doing really, really well in school. Living at home is a nightmare. I stayed because my family BEGGED me 2 stay. They said they would give me my space and all of that. They most certainly ARE NOT. EVERYTHING is an argument with them. Let's start by saying that my mom doesn't even let me style my own hair. She doesn't even let me wash it myself. She will cry, scream, and throw a tantrum if I don't let her wash my hair. Whenever I have a date, they don't let me drive myself. They drop me off and pick me up. Talk about awkward. They stay at the mall where I go sometimes if its more than 5 miles away from the house. My mom drives me to and back from school. I understand that were sharing the car but I don't think its necessary to make my life nearly impossible. I'm 19. I am a women and a college student. I've been making my own money since I was 16 and I've been like the perfect daughter. I've never done anything wrong or gotten in trouble. They are treating me like this because they don't know how to let go. I am transferring to another school upstate in a year because I feel like its the only way to gain my independence. In the meantime, how can I approach this??
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
You do have a problem. In the eyes of the law and everything else you are an adult subject to all the rules of adult society. In your mothers eyes you are still a little girl, her little girl. Yes your mother is also a controlling individual; but you already know all this.
Different ethnic backgrounds do play a part in how parents treat females in a family. You did not state your ethnic background so I do not know if your ethnicity enters into this problem. If you live in the USA culture clash is a big problem especially for women. Not knowing this means we will have to leave this aside other than to say if this is a factor the advice given by myself and others may not be relevant.
There are only two ways of handling controlling parents. The first is to confront then with the problem and offer a compromise solution. Remember the definition of compromise is something neither party likes but both parties can accept. An example would be something like the following: Mom I love you and my grandparents very much but you all are not allowing me to grow and experience life as I need to. Then go on from there and list the problems you have listed in you note to us. One of the solutions in car sharing is certain days you get the car other days you take public transportation, if available. I am a grown women and I need I privacy, you do not need to explain why, this includes how you dress, from the skin out, how you style your hair, the cosmetics you use etcetera.
Continue your list of problems with living at home followed by your solution; try to include your mothers’ and grandparents feelings in your solutions so it is not all your own way. In other words give a little where you can. When you get to the end of the list you ask if this is acceptable to them. If it is write it up, have them sign it and post it someplace that it is easily referenced. If it is not acceptable and they offer no compromise or a compromise that is not acceptable? Then you have a choice to make.
Those choices are: A. you can continue to live by their rules or B. You can inform them that their rules are unacceptable; their refusal to compromise or discuss the situation leaves you no choice but to move out and live on your own. You cannot use this as a threat. You must be prepared to move out and should have a date as to when you will be doing so to tell them. They will probably argue, tell you they will not allow you too and other things. Fact is they cannot stop you.
Also realize one thing and this is where your ethnic background could come into play. In certain cultures if you play this card you could be burning a bridge behind you if you leave the family home before you have married. So think long and hard if this is something that could happen.
16/f
when something bad happens, i dont just get over it, i really stay mad for atleast an hour or longer. i'll end up taking my anger out on someone not physically just verbally. or sometimes i'll just shut off my phone and not answer any calls or texts, even from my boyfriend, even if HE wasnt the one that pissed me off. i heard about serax and prozac. my mom deffinitly would not let me take those from the doctor she believes in holding your breath and i cant do it. my other optiion is xanax and im young obviously i know i can get this without a percription. helppppp?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
The medications you wrote about are primarily used for depression and anxiety. What you have, based on your writing is anger issues; an entirely different subject.
Because of your age I see your mothers’ position on this as one of a phase young women go through because of the hormonal changes they are going through. Put another way, your mom sees this as a phase you will grow out of. Why? You are not alone in how you are handling anger issues; at your age you just may be being a typical teenager. The operative words here are may be.
First things first: DO NOT TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTION MEDICATIONS THAT HAVE NOT BEEN PRESCRIBED FOR YOU BY A DOCTOR. You will be doing yourself more harm than good. Antidepressants are not recommended for persons under 18 for good reason. When they are dispensed they need to be done by a qualified physician and the person need to be medically monitored for side effects.
Now as Snarky recommended you need to sit down with your mother and tell her how you REALLY feel. Tell her you do not like feeling this way, yelling at people for no reason, turning the world off for no reason and anything else you think she should know. Then tell her you feel you need to speak with the family doctor, if for no other reason than to assure yourself than to assure yourself that this is normal. Taking this stance with mom may bring her around to agreeing to taking you to see the doctor. Your saying in essence; Mom you may be right that there is nothing wrong with me but can I please hear it from the doctor so I feel better about it.
Once you see the doctor you will have your answer make sure to tell the doctor about your anger issues and ask to see the doctor in private, you are old enough now to ask for privacy. If you are right mom will most likely follow the doctors advise; try to reframe from saying I told you so. If mom is right and the doctor finds nothing wrong, Try and tell you mother your sorry for being so insistent but that you needed to hear this from the doctor. I say this for whatever the outcome giving mom the respect she is due will give you a great deal of respect from mom in handling this in an adult manner.
What is it called when a person can't feel feellings anymore?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
From what little you have written, and after the research I have done on non-melancholic depression, it would be hard to pin point what exactly you suffer from. Then again none of us on this web site are doctors and do not and should not make any diagnoses. I do believe, from what you have written that you may suffer from some sort of depression, especially if this problem has gone on for more than two weeks.
Knowing your age and sex might help understand why you are feeling this way but you have not provided them. One in three people suffer from some form of depression. My feelings on this are it is a sign of the fast paced world we live in and the expectations placed on us by ourselves and others. This causes extreme amounts of stress and stress is a key factor in depression.
My advice is that you first see you family doctor. Tell the doctor how you are feeling. The doctor will first give you a complete physical to make sure there is no physical reason for you feeling this way. Then the doctor should screen you for depression or send you to another doctor for screening.
If you are suffering from depression; of the many types there are most are easily controlled through medication and in some cases talk therapy too. How do I know this? I have suffered for many years from clinical depression, which is caused by an imbalance of the chemical serotonin. I take pills to correct the imbalance and my depression is in remission.
So see your doctor, find out what is really wrong. If you are suffering from depression the medication will take a week or two to take effect and then you will start to feel better.
I'm 13 and just started my period a couple of months ago. I decided to wear tampons because I'm in swim team and I had no other choice. I took my a couple of my mother's w/o her knowing (I never got the nerve to tell her I had started). The tampons she had were the big ones. But I had no choice. But a couple of weeks ago I got diarrhea and I was extremely dizzy. I had heard about TSS and was really freaked out. What do you guys think it is?
I generally leave these types of questions to the women on this site; after reading your question and the answer I did a search for “a girls first period” and found the following website: http://kidshealth.org/kid/. You might find it useful in answering some questions you have.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I am going to interject my thoughts about you hiding the fact that you started your periods from your mother.
What is happening is a natural part of life. Within your body there hormones are be sent out signaling different changes. Among those changes are you will and have started your period; your body will shed its baby fat and start to mature. Your breast will mature and start to grow and you will develop the curves the womanly curves. You will experience new feelings, sexual feelings. All of this is quite natural and normal; not anything to be embarrassed about.
Each parent handles the coming of age of their children differently. My wife and I were as open as we know how to be, feeling it was better we be direct and correct then have our children learn incorrectly by asking other kids what they know. I give advice in these areas in the same way on this website.
I do not know how your parents may handle your questions but can tell you may be embarrassed to ask your parents these types of questions. Who best to answer these questions if not your mother? After all mom was once your age and has gone through everything you have and will experience. If for some reason you feel mom would be embarrassed by your questions, puts of answering your questions, or you fell gives you misleading information; then the next best persons to ask would be your doctor or the doctors’ health assistant or nurse. First talk to your mother. You may be surprised as she may be waiting for you to come to her.
I was in an accident last night and the glass shattered and got everywhere! I can feel the stinging feeling when I touch certain places because that's where the glass is. Some of it is pretty deep down in my skin. I was wondering, more like hoping, that the pieces of glass, no bigger than a needle's point, would just drop off, or come out after some time? Like my skin would just ejects it?
I dont want to live with glass in my skin, its uncomfortable.
Thank you.
You should see your doctor or go to a local emergency room. If the glass is deep with in your skin you will need a doctor to decide the best way to handle the problem. Glass does not show up on most X-rays so they are going to have to feel for the shards in order to figure out what to do.
Leaving them in the skin may or may not cause infection, only a doctor or a nurse can make that call. Until you see a doctor if the skin is still broken, keep it clean and bandaged.
I'm not proud of it, but in my sophomore year of high school I had some really bad friends and was going through a bad time and I used to cut myself. I have completely changed since then and it's been five years but because of my stupid decisions my left forearm is covered in scars. I'm a totally different person than I was back then, and I don't want to live with this embarrassing reminder anymore.
I'm very fair skinned, and the scars are lighter than my skin and slightly raised. They aren't terribly noticeable in artificial lighting, but out in the sun or in very bright lights they are extremely obvious. Or at least to me they are but I'm self conscious about it.
I have tried over the counter scar creams, but most say they will lighten dark scars.... And I'm curious if they maybe didn't work because my scars are lighter than my skin not darker?
Anyway I'm thinking about seeing a dermatologist(sp?) for this, but it is embarrassing for me to tell people about it, so if whatever treatment they recommend won't be able to do more than the OTC stuff, there's no sense in wasting my time just to be embarrassed.
Has anyone gotten old scars treated before? Did it noticeably reduce their appearance? Is it worth it to go and see?
Again, these scars are five years old, and most are very thin and small but 2 are thicker and seem like they'd be tough to get rid of.
You need a Plastic Surgeon, not a Dermatologist. A Dermatologist works more with issues of skin disease and some of the results. You have cut yourself and depending how deep and how jagged your cuts are will determine the type of scar(s) you have.
The scar from the cut itself will never totally go away. What a Plastic Surgeon does is called reducing the scar by reopening it, realigning the skin and properly closing. I’m not a doctor and I may be over simplifying, only the doctor can go over the entire procedure with you. Depending on where your scars are the doctor may be able to hide some in natural creases thus making it look like they disappeared. If you have ever watched some of the Plastic Surgery shows on cable you would see that this is how the doctors hide the scars from tummy tucks and face lifts.
As someone who may be old enough to be your grandfather let me say this about your scars. You said they are not something to be proud of. In one respect you are right as they represent a time in your life that you are not proud of and may want to forget. On the other hand those scars represent something you should be very proud of. That is the fact that you recognized you were traveling down the wrong road and took the appropriate action to clean up your act and follow the road which leads you to becoming a productive member of society.
As I said I am not a doctor and I have not seen your scars; but I am confident that a good plastic surgeon will be able to reduce them to a point that they will be far less embarrassing for you. Whatever the outcome you should be extremely proud of the fact that you were able to see the error of what you were doing and to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle so as to not travel any further down that road. There are not many people that have the courage to do what you have done. I’m proud of you and I’m sure you parent and friends are too.
Hi I'm a sixteen year old girl and i have had unwanted sex with a number of guys that are way older than me. I am now currently pregnant and am freaking out on what to do.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Unwanted sex is rape; there is no gray area here. If you willingly participated and are above the age of consent in your state it is not rape. If you are below the age of consent and the boy is over the age of 18 even though you may have willingly participated then the boy committed statutory rape and a few other felonies as well. I say this because there is a big difference in not wanting to but did and not wanting to and being forced especially when it comes to sex. The consequences for the male are considerable depending on the other factors I mentioned.
The first thing you have to do is decide what you mean by unwanted. Once you are sure of what you mean the next thing to do is to tell your parents. If you are afraid to tell your parents yourself you could seek the support of your minister or Rabbi. Your doctor could also be enlisted to help you break the news to your parents. Have a plan ready as to what you want to do. Meaning: do you want to see the pregnancy through? Do you want to abort the pregnancy? If you see the pregnancy through do you want to keep the baby or give it up for adoption?
Bear in mind this is your body and no one can force you to do anything; not your parents, not a member of the clergy, not even your doctor. In many states a pregnant minor is considered an emancipated minor giving you the legal means to make your own decisions.
But you have to start someplace and right know that place is with your parents.
16/f me and my boyfriend have been dateing for 5 months now and i really love him i think he might be the "one" and you guys probly think its silly or w.e but i love him. Anyway weve been talking about have sex but we also have troble on finding a place because were always serounded by people.aka(family) ANd when we have sex i wanna know if ill know when/if im going to orgasm. my boyfriend keeps saying how hes going to suck at sex and struggle. but he fingers me most of the time when we can be alone and ive bleed twice. does that also mean it wont hurt as much when we do. im just really confused. of corse where going to use a condom. and idk if i should get birth control because i herd it makes you fat and well frankly im already fat as it is. and i dont wanna get fatter. i want this to be the best protected experience of my life. how do i make that happen?!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?” You may want to read it with your boy friend after you have read it once.
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always must have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
14 female
i want to tell my parents that im bisexual but im scared cuz my entire family is part of the christian faith we go to church evey sunday and pray and all that stuff my family is very important to me and i dont want to lose them because of this but i dont wanna keep it a secret from them im not even sure when or where or how to tell them please help me!!!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
At your present age I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Bisexual or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are more adult if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
Ok so I'm female and I'm 16 and I have been hinting at my mom about wicca asking her how she feels about it and what she thinks it is well my mom is not really religious but she freaks out and tells me "Wicca is a cult. And cults don't believe in a god." How can I tell her I'm wiccan if she wont even give me a chance to explain it's not a cult that we believe in helping the earth through the magick of the elements and the living things around us and that we do believe in a god and a goddess (well many gods and goddesses) please help.
I too believe what WittyUserNameHere wrote. It is tough being a teenager today more so today than ever before. Society expects more from children today then before forcing them to grow up faster than before. Forcing them to search for their identity and when they find something they think they can identify with it is right back to 50 years ago thinking; “they’re going through a phase.”
Society can be fickle too. Is it a phase? Is this something you will grow out of? I don’t know, maybe you will maybe you won’t. What I do know is Wicca is not a cult; it is also not a recognized Religion. Most people do not understand Wicca therefore they are frightened a bit by it. I don’t feel you are old enough to for sure if Wicca is the religion you want to follow for the rest of your life. I do know that once you start telling your friends you can expect to be shunned by them because they are unknowing therefore fearful of the unknown.
Here again I agree you should keep this to yourself until you have learned more about Wicca and being a Wiccan. There is always time to tell others about your choice in life. At the moment while you may still be in public school is not the right time. I say this only because little is known outside of Wicca about Wicca. In school this could cause you undo harm from several sides. It is best to keep it secret for now until you have had more experience with Wicca and are not subject to other loco parentis.
akward and i dont want to ask for a doctor.. but im 16 and iv had skin cancer, i have regular doctor visits for severe head pain can that link to cancer at all? cancer but no headaches runs very greatly in my family iv had all my cervical cancer shots but the last three or so months iv had maybe a nearly 2 inch long yet inch thin maybe growth down in my vagina. gross sorry. but i dont wana go to a gyno, can it be cancer or what else? how can i tell? plus that whole area hurts, but i finally got my period from over two months late. iv waited long and it hasnt grown too much. help
With your medical history and the medical history of your family I can understand not wanting to go to the doctor. But those of us that volunteer on this site are not doctors and we cannot give out medical advice. What we can do is urge you to do what is the correct thing to do in this situation which is to seek medical help.
Going to the doctor does not mean you will be confronted with the news that you have some type of Cancer. There are a number of things that can cause vaginal sores most of which if not all can only be treated by a doctor. Left untreated things can get worse to the point of leaving you sterile. How would you feel years from know if you do not go to the doctor when you try to have children and find that the sore has caused you to be sterile. Had you seen a doctor when you where 16 it was easily treatable but now will require major surgery and removal of vital reproductive organs.
Think about it; not everything is Cancer. And what if it is; not all Cancer’s are death sentences today. If found early enough many Cancers can be treated successfully, with Chemo, Radiation Therapy and Surgery. Advances in Cancer Treatments are learned every day.
Just after Christmas my wife of almost 40 years found a lump in her Breast. Our family doctor sent her to a Surgeon who ordered MRI’s, X-Rays and a Biopsies. They found two tumors one she felt and one hiding behind a milk duct; they were both cancerous. My wife after consulting with all her doctors opted for a mastectomy. Today a Mastectomy is not as radical as it once was. All they took was Breast tissue and 15 lymph nodes. They left the muscles and chest wall. As recently as 10 years ago they would have taken everything in sight. The Oncologist was not happy with the pathology of one of the tumors. Here again recent advances saved my wife from radical treatment. The tumor was sent off to a Lab in California with special techniques they developed for tracing the genecology of a tumor. This test scored so low that my wife’s only treatment is a hormone pill for the next five years. This lab was only certified to do this test within the last 3 years.
My point is this; the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. Meaning you can be just as hurt by what you do not know by what you do know. So call your Doctor. Tell your parents so they can help you too. When you have a diagnosis, good, bad or indifferent get on the web and research your diagnosis. Find out everything you can. Find out what treatments work best, what doctors and hospital specialize in your diagnosed ailment. The more you know about what is wrong with you the better you are able to fight it.
The best tool for fighting anything is a positive attitude. Doctors and modern medicine can only do so much. A positive attitude can help you win any battle and goes a long way in the fight against diseases such as cancer. See your doctor and good luck.
I'm a marine.
I was looking at the memorial ceremony for a guy I knew and they were showing pictures of his wife and I just want to know why I survived and he didn't. Why was I sent home to a bitch that cheats on me when he could have been sent home to a wife who loves him? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I believe you are going through what the doctors call Survivors Remorse. I am not a doctor and I do not know much about this particular problem other than it is something that affects military people more often than civilians. We have probably seen it in every war that has ever been fought. It was during the Korean War or Vietnam I believe that the doctors actually put a name to it.
It is not the type of problem that time will heal or that you can take a pill for. You need to speak with a professional therapist trained to deal with this problem and help you work through it. Contact your VA representative and ask for medical assistance with this problem.
Thanks for serving and I am always here should you want to talk or have a question I might be able to help with. Just select my mail box on this sight and direct you question to me.
I was driving down the road this evening and this guy in front of me was swirving all over the darn place. It was scary because I had to swerve too when I decided to pass him finally. When I was passing, I could have swore I saw a beer bottle in the guys hand!
I know it might be too late to report the guy now but I did get his liscene plate number. I was told with the license plate numbers they can look the person's vehicle up when the problem happens.
How can I report him though? Even if it's too late to report this guy now I'd like to know in case something like this happens again. Drunk drivers just don't need to be on the road and I want to do my part to keep everybody safe. Is their a phone number to dial or what?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you have a cell phone with you dial 911. Tell the call taker you suspect the car you are following is being operated by an impaired driver and request police assistance. You will be asked for the plate number, make model and color of the car, the road you are on and the direction of travel. Try to keep the car insight but do not endanger yourself or others by trying to stay with the other car.
This is the best way to deal with a drunk or impaired driver as the Police need to observe the person driving the vehicle while impaired. Just getting the plate number and reporting it after the fact only allows the police to identify who owns the car. The problem is they cannot do anything more than notify the owner that the car was reported as being operated in an unsafe manner and the operator may have been impaired.
Once the Police catch up with you, you can go about your business. You will not be asked to stop or identify the driver. The Officer will observe the operation of the vehicle and if a traffic stop is warranted will initiated the stop and proceed from there. You will have no further involvement unless of course an accident occurs prior to the police being able to intercede, then they will want you for a witness.
We were talking about our rights as Americans in my class today. Now, we have the right to freedom of speech so that means we have the right to say whatever we want then, right? I'm a little confused on it because somebody got into slander and other things that you can get in trouble for saying.
I don't want to raise my hand tomorrow and tell the teacher I don't quite get it. Can somebody explain if we have the right to say what we want to say or not? And is that the same as freedom of speech?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Freedom of speech means you have the right to say what you feel as long as what you say does not infringe on other people’s rights; Does not start a riot or cause injury to others, such as yelling fire in a crowded theater; Saying things that are not true about someone, this is called slander.
Basically a persons’ freedom of speech is hedged or confined so as not to infringe on the rights of other. As long as you do not infringe on the rights of others you are free to say what you want. For instance you can say what you want about a painting, you can say the artist is a realist or whatever. What you cannot say is that this particular artist is a fraud or anything that you cannot prove; that could be slanderous. You can say whatever you want about a President or member of Congress but you do not have the right to threaten their life even in jest.
Our freedoms do have their limitations. One of the most abused rights has to do with the Second Amendment to the Constitution. This one Right; The Right to Bear Arms, is the most Challenged of all of our rights with many States writing laws that many feel infringe on this right. The First Amendment follows as a close Second with Challenges as it not only covers Free Speech but Freedom of the Press and Freedom of Expression which is taken to cover things such as Pornography and Civil Decency.
To be succinct your rights, all rights, are limited by the rights of others and limited by Laws in place by States as Passed by their Legislature. A little confusing yes, still the best form of Democracy on the planet.