16/f me and my boyfriend have been dateing for 5 months now and i really love him i think he might be the "one" and you guys probly think its silly or w.e but i love him. Anyway weve been talking about have sex but we also have troble on finding a place because were always serounded by people.aka(family) ANd when we have sex i wanna know if ill know when/if im going to orgasm. my boyfriend keeps saying how hes going to suck at sex and struggle. but he fingers me most of the time when we can be alone and ive bleed twice. does that also mean it wont hurt as much when we do. im just really confused. of corse where going to use a condom. and idk if i should get birth control because i herd it makes you fat and well frankly im already fat as it is. and i dont wanna get fatter. i want this to be the best protected experience of my life. how do i make that happen?!
adviceman49 answered Monday June 28 2010, 2:05 pm: I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?” You may want to read it with your boy friend after you have read it once.
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always must have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
JayMarmolejo answered Monday June 28 2010, 11:45 am: I know where your coming from... when he fingered you bleed down there, correct? That means you won't bleed when he sticks it in you because " he popped your cherry" and it won't hurt as much because when he fingers you, he's loosen the vagina... and if you want to take birth control then you can but there are side affects like you said, cramping, bleeding, gaining a little weight.. But its at the beginning but it will go away... and sometimes the first time isn't always so good haha believe me, but you guys can always keep trying and it will get SO much better, just make sure you always use a condom.. And as for places, go to a park at night make it romantic with a nice blanket etc.. When its dark out and no one can see you... I hope I helped, good luck! [ JayMarmolejo's advice column | Ask JayMarmolejo A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.