I so had this problem, but it was more of an "I've been burned, so now I'm afraid to trust guys" thing.
You've gotta find someone who's been through similar situations/felt the same thing. I'm not a trusting person either, and my bf had to deal with me fighting a crush on him for a month before I finally gave in and went out with him.
It's good that you don't trust everyone, but you've gotta trust SOMEONE. The easiest people to start with are a couple of your closest friends. The hardest are probably your parents.
Try to see your situation from someone else's point of view. If you start to push someone away, take a step back and think for a minute. "Why am I pushing this person away?" "What am I so afraid of?" Let yourself trust once in awhile - take a dive.
I did, and it's the smartest thing I ever did. I'll have been dating my guy for eleven months on October 14th. =)
You don't have to bear your soul to people (god knows I never do). Just open up a little. Let 'em get to know you. What's the worst that can happen?
If you need more help, don't hesitate to talk to me. I hope this helped on some level!
-Siren =)

Your situation sounds awfully like the one my boyfriend has with his stepdad. Stepdad always tries to make life hard for my guy and all that jazz.
Suicide is NEVER the answer. You'd be giving her what she seems to want! Wouldn't you rather make life harder for her? Lol I know I would...
Sorry, back to the question - You do need to talk to your dad. When he's home, you just have to take a breath and say "I wanna talk to you" before you can stop yourself. It's like over IM, when you type something, are about to hit the delete button, then push enter before you can stop yourself. That's what I do every time I lack the courage to do or say something. Just gather up all your courage - he's your dad. Chances are you've had to tell him worse stuff than "My stepmom appears to hate me, and is causing me a lot of depression."
If you really can't get to your dad, it might actually be easier to talk to your stepmom about this. I know she's probably the last person you want to ask "why do you seem to hate me?" but you may have to go straight to the source of the problem to fix this one.
If you decide to talk to her, let her know what's on your mind and that you don't like what she's doing. However, do try not to be accusatory. That could result in a fight, and fights aren't fun.
I hope this helped on some level - I'm good with family problems, so if you want more help, this is what I'm here for.
-Siren =)

You may be able to picture all this stuff, but once a player, always a player, I say. I dated two of them, and I don't think either of them have ever had a girlfriend they didn't cheat on, including me.
Sure, both of them liked me. One even claimed to love me, but now that I know more about the minds of 18 year old guys (I was 14 at the time, he was 18), I realize he was using "love" to get sex. Once he found out he wouldn't get what he wanted, he broke it off.
Never think you can change someone. They have to change themselves, and even that's difficult. Like, REALLY difficult.
Think about this, sweetheart...do you really want to go with a guy who "can have grls in a sec"? Would you TRUST him not to cheat on you? If you're okay with him cheating, or not being his only girl, then I'd say go right ahead and go out with him. If not, I would hesitate before committing myseslf to him (i.e. sex).
Be careful in this situation. You could end up really hurt. Sex is a big thing for girls, emotionally. We tend to really attach ourselves to guys we have sex with, whether we want to or not.
Well that's my opinion on the whole thing. The decision is obviously yours.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Okay, lemme just check and make sure I got your questionishthing - you have trouble not being all shy around guys you like/when you're around a guy you like, you change, and you wanna learn how to be yourself around them, right?
On the assumption that I am right, I'll continue...Lol. I used to have trouble with that, too. I'd always have trouble talking to guys I liked without being all nervous. The first guy I was ever able to talk to without changing is the guy I'm dating now, and that's because I was fighting the crush I was getting on him. Lol. Anyway.
That's always hard. You almost have to be comfortable with YOURSELF before you can really be comfy around anyone else. If you can, imagine you're talking to one of your girl friends...just don't talk to your crush about how hot your crush is. Lol that might not go over too well.
I hope this helped on some level!
-Siren =)

Honey, If I was in your situation, I would tell him to shove it.
No guy's gonna make me wait for him.
I understand that you love him and you miss him and you want him back, but he broke up with you. He HURT you! Do you really want to go back to that guy?
If you do, he might think he can just break it off and get you back whenever he wants.
In relationships, I don't give second chances. You break it off, it's done, and there's no chance of getting me back.
But that's just me. I'm on my last straw with most guys, except my boyfriend.
Not to diss guys, but really...never wait for a guy. It's never worth it.
But, if you do wait, you're going back into a relationship that ended badly. You've gotta take everything into account. Why did the relationship end in the first place? Is there a chance it could happen again? Is it worth the risk? If your answer to the last two questions is yes, I'd reconsider. If not, *shrug* it's totally up to you.
This is obviously just my opinion - what you do is your decision.
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

This is always hard.
First, can I just say "Awwwwwwwww!"
Well you two have been dating for a LONG time. (Congrats on that, by the way.) The best way to do this is to just come out and say it. Next time you go "yea love ya to" and he says "you don't love me," tell him you're serious. Let him know you mean it!
It's good that you want him to know what's going on in your head. The best relationships have no secrets. You two should be able to talk about anything, so go on. Tell him what's going through your head. He can't know you really love him if you don't tell him you mean it.
Just open your mouth and speak your mind.
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Hey, no problem...this is what I'm here for. I'm glad I've been able to help you!
We should definitely talk sometime. I love to get to know other writers, and find out if they have the same problems with their characters as I do with mine...Lol. Just IM me sometime (SirenCytherea). I'm on every night, usually.
-Siren =)

I personally stand firmly beside the belief that "age is a state of mind, not being." I mean, I've never felt my age.
Don't worry about falling for "older guys"; three years is not that big an age difference, really. Just make sure, if they like you back, that they don't like you for the wrong reasons. Catch my drift? *Cough*
The heart wants what the heart wants...You can't help who you get a crush on. Believe me...I was trying not to develop crushes on guys when I met my current boyfriend. He's also almost a year and a half older than me. *Shrug* He's 18 and I'm gonna turn 17 in october. We have a great relationship...age is stupid. Lol. Ignore it.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

It is, unfortunately, one of the possible side effects. However, it does not happen to everyone. Didn't happen to me, for instance. I just spotted for a month...*grumble*
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Oh wow, this sounds EXACTLY like the situation I was in with my last ex.
I really thought I was in love with him, until I actually fell in love with my current guy. (Now I know that was just major infatuation, not love.)
He cheated on me twice while we were going out, then we fought for awhile and my friend/his new girlfriend told me he cheated on me. He didn't even have the guts to tell me himself.
I doubt all of your guy regrets cheating. Some subconscious part of him doesn't care. I would not go back to him if I were you.
I say, once a cheater, always a cheater. But then, I've had bad experiences with two of them. Really, if I were you, I would try REALLY hard to move on. All this can do is hurt you. I'd stay away from this guy.
Sorry to be so opinionated about this, but I see my situation about to happen all over again, and I don't want that to happen to you.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Well, the "real world" is being kinda thrown at me, through college/auditions, etc, and I'm sixteen. My seventeenth birthday is in october. I know how you feel, I think.
I used to be all excited for college and leaving home and all that, but now it's scaring me. It's natural to feel that way. The farther away something is, the less...intimidating it is. When it gets closer and it seems like it might actually happen, things appear clearer and more real, hence me "AHH, I'm leaving home in less than a year! *whiiimper*"
-Siren =)

I really reccomend Hall's Strawberry Vapor Action cough drops. Those work WONDERS. I use those - I'm a singer, and if I have a cold that's affecting my voice, I get a bag of those, and just live on cough drops and water for a week or so. The strawberry ones aren't too bad, as far as the medicine taste/smell goes. Have something to suck on during the interview that won't get in the way of your speaking.
Doesn't have to be a cough drop, it can be candy, or whatever. The liquid to your throat will help stop it from getting all raw and scratchy.
I hope this helps, and good luck on your interview!
-Siren =)

Your mom took her dream literally, when it probably had a meaning behind it that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you. The possibility of you being pregnant probably freaked her out, so naturally, she made an appointment with a gyno. Sex is a BIIIIG freakout point for parents. I mean look at it through her eyes - her little girl is growing up, and could be doing all sorts of things, including sex! *GASP*
I mean, when I was with my guy for like...6 months or something, mom made an appointment with a gynocologist because she was worried I'd get "caught up in the heat of the moment" and go have sex. (Funny thing was, I'd already lost my virginity). So she made me an appointment, I got the pill, and...yeah.
Just play along - it'll make your mom feel better, and therefore make you feel better. Also, if you have a gyno, and you want to go on birth control or whatever, they can help you with that. Your mom would prob'ly feel better knowing it was from a gyno, too.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Hey...
I was gonna wait 'til marriage, even in the beginning of last year, when I met my boyfriend. He'd hint at sex, and I'd say "Hahaha yeah right. You realize that's never gonna happen, right?" and he said "yeah, I know."
But I - er - changed my mind? Lol.
I used to say "I'm gonna wait 'til I'm married to have sex." Then I changed it to "I'm gonna wait 'til I meet the guy I'm gonna marry to have sex," and that's been working pretty well for me...
I do agree with you, but we do tend to attach ourselves to guys we do intimate things with. Depressed for the rest of your life? Nah.
*Raises hand*
-Siren =)

I SO know how you feel. It started for me when I was in ninth grade, and I had all these guys who liked me. I loved it, at first, because I'd been ugly and fat in middle school. I lost weight over the summer, my body developed a little more...but then the attention started to drive me crazy.
I'm sorry to tell you there isn't much you can do, short of making yourself ugly as hell, and I doubt you want to do that.
You and your friends know you're not a slut, right? All that should matter on this is your opinion of yourself, and no one else's. If other girls who don't know you think you're a slut, let them think that. Let 'em think whatever the heck they want.
You and your friends know what the real situation is, and that you can't help the way guys act around you. All you can do is know that the opinions of the girls who aren't your friends doesn't matter, and ignore the guys.
I hope this helped on some level!
-Siren =)

Whoa...you're FIFTEEN and you're talking about "time running out"?
Sweetheart, I'm almost seventeen, and I didn't do anything REMOTELY sexual until last year. Wait 'til you find a guy you really care about who won't use you for sex and then get rid of you. Sex is an intimate thing (so are sexual things) and whether you intend to or not, you tend to kind of attach yourself to the guy you do these things with.
You HAVE TIME. Don't think about "time running out" yet. Time will be running out if you're 35 and still a virgin. Lol.
If you wanna do stuff with him, let him know subtlely, and let him lead. You'll figure stuff out as you go. It's easier that way than trying to figure out a step by step way to do stuff.
But as I said...don't rush into anything. You're young.
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

You've just gotta know - both of you - that you only really have eyes for each other.
You should be able to talk to people without your boyfriend getting overprotective and jealous. Talk to him about the way you feel, and ask him why it bothers him so much if he thinks you're looking at another guy.
Reassure him that he's the only one for you. Point out to him that you don't like all this fighting, and you want to do something to fix it. The two of you could work out a fix for this better than we could. Talk it out - you'll figure out something.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Don't EVER try to break up a solid relationship. The guilt will be icky, and if the boyfriend of the girl have a crush on figures out it was you that broke them up, can you imagine how mad he'd be? She might be mad, too. For all you know, that other guy might really be better for her.
I can imagine that this isn't quite what you want to hear, but I really think you should not try to break up a relationship.
There are always hard feelings from someone, even if it isn't intentional, and that can get nasty.
You've gotta let the girl make her own choice. Don't try to make her see that "you're the better guy" or whatever. If you are, she might see it for herself.
Hope this helps on some level!
-Siren =)

It could mean you are going to start your period, yes.
It could also mean your breasts are growing. It's perfectly normal. Your breasts may hurt before your period all the time, once you start. It's a typical PMS thing, so don't worry about it.
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Just get him something little. Or make something little, if you're into making stuff.
On our one-month...what did I get my guy? *scratches head* Um...I gave him a lanyard glow in the dark heart I made on our two month. Just something little to show you were thinking of him. He'll appreciate anything, prob'ly.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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