I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65015
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Me and my friends brother Ben met three years ago. He was sweet and funny. We became really good mates almost as close as me and her. Then he asked me out, I liked him and his amazing personality but I just didnt think of him in that way...we lost contact after this even though I told him I wanted to stay friends. Today our youth group did a reunion dinner thing because we left two years ago and he was there, he looked different he looked amazing and he had the same Ben personality and i felt myself falling for him but he wouldnt even sit next to me in the restaurant....i need help shall i try and get in there or not bother?? am i being shallow?? i dont know i want whatever advice you have to offer....I rate 5's for good advice
xordinarygirlx (link)
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I don't think you're being shallow. When you knew him before, there just wasn't any chemistry there. It wasn't that you thought he was ugly and now you're only attracted to him because of his looks. It's just that you didn't feel anything more than friendship for him before. This is just the way things happen sometimes.
I think you would do well to begin by salvaging a friendship from this. Speak to him and tell him it was good seeing him again and it'd be nice if you could see him again and hang out. By saying hang out, you're implying it isn't a date so he should agree to this. My guess is that he really liked you before and the reason he tried to ignore you at the reunion was because he didn't know how to handle it. So saying 'hang out' is just casual enough.
When you actually see him again, try to get him to relax. Have a good chat about how you've been getting on and what you've been up to and how he has been etc. When you think you've both relaxed, mention to him about what happened before and say that you had hoped you would still be friends so you were really sad when he didn't talk to you afterwards. See what he says to that and take it from there. If you think you can try to regain your friendship properly, do what you can to do this. Otherwise, you might have to let it go.
I would also recommend you don't tell him you think you like him right away. Get to know him again and if in a while you think your feelings won't go away, do something about it but you need to be sure of what you feel first, or you risk hurting him again. You might be able to get him back this time but do it again and you might lose him for good.
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okay....
well, i've known this one girl for a long time, and i think she's absolutely beautiful and i love her so much, but everytime i even say hi, she won't acknowledge me. i walk by her and see her everday at school about 30 times and i always say hi or something, and she just ignores me. we used to be really good friends until i asked her out last year and she won't even say a word to me now...i have always thought that she was a really nice girl, but nowaday's she's not...btw i'm 13 she's 13... plz help! i really love her but she doesn't even know i'm there almost...and i would love her to be my gf....
THNX VERY MUCH!!!! (link)
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I understand how you're feeling but try to think about this from someone else's perspective for a minute. If you were to walk in and see the way she is treating you right now, what would you honestly think of her?
My thoughts of her right now is that she didn't know how to handle the situation when you told her how you felt about her and rather than deal with it directly, she's completely ignoring you. That doesn't suggest to me that she's a particularly nice person and it also tells me that you could do a lot better.
I hate to say it, because it just sounds so mean but it doesn't sound as though she reciprocates your feelings and you're not doing yourself any favours to continue being nice to this girl. I'm not saying be mean to her but just ignore her right back. She seems to be making it clear she isn't interested in even being civilised to you so she is a lost cause.
The best thing you can do right now is try to move on. I know it's a lot easier said than done but there are a lot of girls out there and you need to find one who's worth your efforts and who actually deserves you. You will find one but you need to move on from this girl first.
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ok my dog eats absoloutley anything he can get his paws on-napkins, rocks, rubberbands, twist ties, you name it he'll eat it. Is this abnormal for dogs? is there a way we can train him not to do this? Does he even know what hes eating could be harmful to him? thanks ♥ (link)
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No it's not abnormal at all!! Cats and dogs, especially when they are young, will eat anything and everything they can!! They don't really understand that it might not be good for them because most of the time they are playing with it and accidentally swallow it. One of our cats had to have an operation once and they removed elastic bands, sellotape, paper clips and strong from her stomach!!
There's not always a lot you can do, besides making sure that you leave nothing small and potentially edible lying about. Also, whenever he tries to eat something he shouldn't, clearly say "NO!" loudly and give him a slight slap on the side or clap close to his ears. This shouldn't be enough to hurt him but enough to just surprise him. If you continue to do this whenever he tries to eat something he shouldn't, he should eventually get the idea and stop doing it.
Also bear in mind that the majority of pets do grow out of this stage so in a year or so, he probably won't still do it.
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Hi, 17f and 18 male. Ok theres this guy who i really, really, really like and i know he really likes me too. I mean we are sort of talking like we are together but we don't have any titles to our relationship yet. I would really like to be his girlfriend but i don't want to press the matter and sort of with his timing becuause im ok with where we are right now. But i don't wanna wait forever. I know that his last girlfriend kinda broke his heart and he was really torn up about it but that was over a year ago and he says and acts like he's over it, but still says that he's not ready for a relationship. Like i said, i dont mind it being like it is right now but i don't want it to be like this forver and it doesn't really seem to be moving forward. I am really starting to fall for him, but i just keep asking myself is that worth waiting all this time for him. The last time i fell for a guy like this and we weren't together i just waited because i had the mentality like i would take him any way i could get him and that didn't work out so well for me and i don't want a replay of that. Not with him. I wanna wait for him but part of me is thinking that if i keep waiting like this it won't ever change. Should i wait for him?
P.S. Sorry for the length. (link)
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Eventually he will be ready to date again but it might take some more time and you're perfectly right, you shouldn't have to wait forever and since you're not dating right now, there's no reason you shouldn't go out and date someone else.
However, I would advise you to talk to him about this first. It's a really difficult subject because if he does like you but is scared to get involved, you dating someone else might hurt him but you just don't know. So talk to him, you have to tell him that you have feelings for him. Tell him that you wanted him to know this because even though he has said he's not ready to date yet, you just wanted him to know how you felt. See what he says after this. If he seems receptive, try asking him out. If not, let him know that you don't want your feelings to affect your friendship an that you hope it doesn't make things awkward.
After this point, if he still isn't ready, feel free to go off and date other people. At least this way he knows and he has had an opportunity to do something and you know you won't have made your decision to move on without finding out if you can be with him first.
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I got my period the first week of March (2nd-9th), it finished then came back the second week of March (14th-17th) and now it came back today (31st).
I understand it may still be irregular considering the fact that I am 14 but the most I got it in one month was twice.
3 times in one month has never happened before.
Should I be worried? Should I go see a gynocologist? (link)
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I really don't think you need to worry. I know a few people who had so many problems with their periods when they were younger that one person had it for almost 2 months straight!!
Unfortunately, when you're in the grip of puberty, your hormones are so all over the place that it's difficult to know what is going to happen next and where and periods are, unfortunately, the curse of pretty much every woman's existence from the day they start!!
If it really is getting to be a pain (and it sounds like it is!!), or if they are giving you very bad cramps, go and see your doctor about it. I doubt there's anything wrong but it's always best to get checked out to be on the safe side. Also, he may be prepared to put you on The Pill. Doctors often prefer to start you on it when you're older. However, if you are suffering particularly badly with your periods, the Pill helps to regulate them and can often reduce the symptoms of PMS.
In the meantime, try not to get too stressed out, as this can also have an effect on your period.
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(sorry its long, PLEASE, read it.)
what do you do when no boy wants you?
its quite depressing actually, the few people who have ever liked me are sort of, ehh, weird. Im not going to lie, i AM pretty. But i have a twin brother in my grade. and i was trying to pump him for information (what else are twins good for, right?) and he said no guy wants to date their best friends sister, twin, especially. im fed up with it. i love being a twin, its just that no guy likes me because of it. Also, my brother had a friend over during the summer, who was very cute. He asked "so, do you think my sister's hot?" and he said "sort of." im tired of being a sort of. im tired of being a twin. i really just want to know if guys would like me if i was the only one in my grade. My general Question: what can i do to get guys to want me? is there any reason they wouldnt want me?
please. help. (link)
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Oh dear. I know exactly how you feel!! I am a twin also and although my sister is a girl, none of the guys ever wanted me when we were at school because they wanted her. I was every boy's friend but nobody was interested in me and I was "Nikki's sister" to a lot of people (still am sometimes).
Unfortunately, some people are just shallow and if they can really use the fact that they're friends with your brother as a reason not to be with you, there are a lot of guys out there who are giving stupid reasons to miss a good opportunity with a great girl. You can do a lot better than guys like that.
What you really need to do is to find some way to establish yourself as a person in your own right. When it comes to twins, nobody ever see's them as individuals until they find away to identify themselves from each other and establish their own identities. For example, my sister found herself a different set of friends that are interested in art and similar things she enjoys. I found friends who were interested in things I like, like music. Once I'd managed to find my own identity away from 'the twins', people appreciated me for the person I was, rather than for being part of a twin.
I know you like your brother, but try getting involved in something you enjoy that he isn't involved with and make some different friends. People will start seeing you as a separate entity. It just takes some time.
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Okay. I've had my period on a regular cycle for a little over a year and a half. This week, it came a little earlier than usual, but sometimes its a few days off. Anyway, it started three days ago, and until this morning it had been really light. For half of today it had been regular, then started being light again around 12:00. I don't think anything's wrong, but this hasn't ever happend before and i just wanted to check. Will it be longer since it's lighter or will it be the same length? (link)
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Don't worry, this doesn't indicate that anything abnormal is going on.
The problem with periods is that, unless you are on The Pill, they are often very unpredictable. You just need to remember that your blood flow will change from time to time so occasionally there may be less than normal and occasionally there may be more. Some months it will start earlier and some months it will be later.
Really I would say you only need to be concerned if is more than 3 or 4 days late or if it is very very light and you have had unprotected sex.
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one of my best guy friends constantly smokes. he is only about 13 or 14, which really makes me sad for him. he said he quit, but he hasn't. i really care about him and am concerned, i've tried getting rid of the cigarette while he was using it, and trying to explain to him that i care, but he is not emotional at all (he doesn't cry over relationships, and not even when his brother died). i would appreciate suggestions on how to get him to quit completely. thanks! (link)
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I know he's your friend and you want to help him but sometimes we have to accept that no matter what we do or say to help someone, they may still continue down their path to self destruction.
What you can do, however, is to every now and then just try to drop into conversation. Mention the dangers of smoking and that it would be a lot nicer for him if he wouldn't have to worry about whether or not he could breathe when he does sports at high school when he's 17.
I expect the reason he does it is because it sounds as though there has been a lot of trauma in his life. People tend to turn to things like drinking, smoking and drugs when they have experienced tragedy because it provides them with a mean to cope or a means to escape from what they have been through or are still going through. Make sure you let him know that you will always be there for him, whether he smokes or not but that you are concerned for him. Find out a little more about what smoking does to your body (especially when you start from such a young age) and every now and then thrust a little more info in his face.
The moment I knew I would never smoke was in a lesson about what it can cause when I was about 11. They knocked on a lifetime smoker's chest and it sounded like knocking on wood. They then cut open the lung of a dead ex-smoker and it was literally BLACK inside. Nothing but black. That terrified me so much I knew I would never ever touch cigarettes and to this day I haven't. You need to do something like that with him. You need to shock him. But it will take time so stick with it and don't make too big a deal about it all the time or he will get bored and stop listening. He needs to want to quit. Keep trying and hopefully he will get there.
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im a blond guy and i once learned that girls dont like blonds what should i do with my hair? my hair is short and i am male i rate high (link)
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Do NOT change the way you look, for a start!!!!
I really don't know who you have been listening to but you need to ignore them. I know a LOT of girls who really adore blonde guys! Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, ALL very popular and they have one thing in common. They're blonde! Not necessarily natural londes but blonde they are and we love 'em that way!
You should never feel you have to change your appearance for anyone's sake but your own. You are the only person in life who ever has to be comfortable with the way you look and if you are happy with being blonde then why change it?!
Trust me on this. Girls like blonde guys, they like brunettes, they even like guys who are a bit of both! There will be girls out there for every guy that exists, no matter what his hair colour, skin colour, eye colour or height so all you need to do is be comfortable with yourself, add some self confidence, and you will have no problem at all getting a girlfriend!
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I got two F's on my report card my mom didnt' know about it so i just let is go by and now she asked for it i told her and she wanted the report card and i couldn't find it and now she is highly upset. she is going to the principal monday so she can get it i told her what was on it.. now i might not get to play tennis.. i'm suppose to go to the movies tomorrow with a guy that i like! but it might be out of the question now.. how could i get her to let me go? Do you think i will get to play tennis? She even talked to my teacher about coming in there and sitting with me til i start doing better!! help me!!!
I'll rate 5!!! (link)
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You need to think about this from a different perspective. Namely, from your Mum's perspective.
You didn't do well at school, you lied to her about it and hid the report card that told her the truth. She has to go to see your Principal to find out what is going on, which she probably doesn't want to do and now you want to ask her for a favour.
I know this really isn't going to be what you want to hear and I'm sorry for that but the fact is that what you did was wrong and you might have to suffer the consequences on this occasion. If the tennis is a regular hobby you do with a coach or some other form of teacher, she may well let you go because you will be learning something. If it's a recreational activity you're doing with a friend you might have to kiss goodbye to it, I'm afraid.
Please try to bear in mind that although you might not be happy with the idea of extra tuition, if you're failing subjects, you need to make every effort to pull that grade up. It might not matter to you now but when you have left school, you will wish you had tried harder to improve when you had the chance. Please trust me on this because I left school nearly 4 years ago and I regret not trying harder (especially at maths which I was truly awful at) every day of my life. You might think it's a real pain and you possibly think it would be humiliating but you need to do whatever you can to be the best you can be, while you have the chance.
As for your Mum, she already knows all this and because she cares so much about you, this is why she wants to do something about it. The only thing you can do to rectify the situation now is to apologise to her for what you did, promise that you really will work harder at it and then knuckle down and do the work til your blue in the face, if that is what it takes for you to pass the subjects.
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Hi
I am 14 years old and me and my boyfriend have sex and we use protection but on night my boyfriend put his penis a little bit in my vagina, and took it out again,, it wasn't even in there for a minute. He took it out and i wiped my self off. I missed my period this month, and i am worried that i might be pregnant, I am going through a lot of stress this month and I am sick with the flu.. but i am still scared that i might be pregrant, what do you think.. (link)
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Although it is possible to conceieve without the man climaxing, it's still relatively unlikely given the amount of time he was in you. I doubt you have anything to worry about but to be on the safe side I would recommend you have a pregnancy test.
I really think there's a bigger issue here however that needs to be addressed. You're only 14 and shouldn't be having sex for another 2 years at least. I don't want to bore you by sounding like a parent but I firmly believe that you should never ever have sex until you're over 16 and are at an age where you can cope with the consequences of your actions. Pregnancy is ALWAYS a possibility when you have sex, regardless of what contraception you're using because no method is 100% effective. At 14 years old you will not be old enough to cope with a baby and this is exactly why there are age restrictions when it comes to sex.
Yes, sex may be something you enjoy and there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy it. When you're old enough. So please think carefully about what you're doing. Sex is a huge deal and you have to be responsible with it so I would strongly recommend that you try to hold back until you're a little bit older. For you're own sake.
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i'm so stressed out about track!
i even missed school because of it today ( and my headache )
i'm a runner && at practice i do fine! its like not really hard but i sweat, ya kno.
but heres the thing, i'm not mighty super fast ( sign ) nor can i run like miles at a time.
its really stress-ful because i'm like average at everything. so yesterday i went to throwing. i'm so frusterated! i can run a mile fine in like under 12 minutes but i CAN'T run a quarter mile under 2 minutes. i'm so ahhh..
please give me like advice, encouragement, or sumthing. i was supposed to have been signed up for an event already, but i'm not. meet is tomorrow @ 4:15 (link)
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I'm not sure what targets you are setting for yourself but I really think you're setting your standards too high! I'd be pleased if I could WALK a mile in under 20 minutes, let alone run it in 12! Trust me there is nothing at all wrong with your abilities and what worries me more than your concerns over how good you are is that you are cutting school to avoid dealing with it.
I don't want to sound preachy and parental but I really can't stress to you the importance of being at school as much as possible and making the most of it. I left nearly 4 years ago and I deeply regret not having made more of an effort. Obviously, the thing foremost in your mind right now is Track, but you can't let yourself slip in other areas because of it.
You ARE a good runner and if you keep training you'll get to be even better but you can't keep putting so much pressure on yourself. The reason you probably don't always do as well as you could is because you're pushing yourself too hard. Even Olympic athletes need to take some time out once in a while and try to forget about it.
Keep an equal balance between training and resting, keep up the hard work in school and it will all work out. Everyone is average at everything until they practise enough to be better and just for the record, in my opinion, a mile in under 12 minutes is well above average!
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I am short for my age. I'm 14 and 4'11". I try to look at the positives but it's hard sometimes. Do guys like shorter girls? I feel like they won't... I will only grow about 1 or 2 inches more... What can I do?? (link)
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Ohhhh yes they definitely like shorter girls!!
You have to remember that there will always be men out there who will find you attractive, whether you're a blonde haired babe with boobs like Pamela Anderson or a hunchback with one eye and a limp!!
If you're 14, you have time to grow another few inches, not just one or two so please don't give up yet. Even if you don't grow, you need to learn to be happy with the person that you are. There are plenty of people in the world who have done a lot with a lot more problems than being short so don't let it get you down too much. Try to accept and love yourself as you are and you'll find other people follow suit.
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so my best friend isn't talking to me anymore.
and shes been asking her three best friends to do really nice stuff like go to a nice far away mall n horseback riding but she hasn't asked me to do anything with her((its spring break))i feel really left out cause she never does stuff wiht me anymore. why is she doing this to me? (link)
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It does sound as though this may be a rather one sided friendship. Unfortunately, as you get older this will probably get to be more common as it's harder to keep friends the older you get.
I would suggest you could try talking to her about this but she seems to be making herself pretty clear and, depending on what sort of person she is generally, you might be better off just letting the whole thing go. I know that sounds harsh but she isn't behaving like a best friend or any kind of friend to you right now. Although you may have been good friends in the past, it sounds as though it's time to move on to someone who really knows what it means to be a friend.
Please don't think of this as your failure or that there was anything you could have done. You haven't behaved badly here. She has. If you don't want to be friends with someone any more, you should never just ignore them. You sound like a nice person and I have no doubts at all that you can make some good friends who will be much nicer to you in the future.
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I need some ideas of love songs. like really romantic soppy stuff. Im making a video for my bf. ive got a few so far..
boys 2 men - i swear
celine dion - i want you to need me
but i need a few more ideas can any one help please? nothing rocky thanks :)
I RATE! (link)
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Shania Twain - You're Still The One
The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
Wet Wet Wet - Love Is All Around
Sarah Maclachlan - Angel
Jamie O Neal - All By Myself
Celine Dion - Think Twice
Maria McKee - Show Me Heaven
Berlin - Take My Breath Away
Lionel Richie and Diana Ross - Endless Love
Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
Air Supply - All Out Of Love
Nilsson - Without You
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
U2 - With Or Without You
Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply
Chris De Burgh - Lady In Red
The Cars - Drive
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people I need help. Im not a parent but I'm writing a project and I need to make it funny, so what are some weird ways of punishing your children when they've done something really bad, like smoke pot, or something?? And it has to be strict.
Got any ideas?
Thank you. (link)
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Hmm....well....my Mum always said that if she ever caught me smoking, she'd make me smoke the entire pack of cigarettes one by one! That scared the hell out of me and I've never touched a cigarette!!!!!
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After you stop using a acne product, will acne come back? Or, will it stay away. Thanks.
(link)
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Although it will work, unfortunately, if you do stop using it, it might mean the acne will come back. The reason for this is that the product you are using helps to combat the sebum that causes the acne. Your body will continue to produce this sebum after you finish using it.
So keep using it for the moment but when you're comfortable to take the risk, try using it a little less for a week or so and see if it starts to come back.
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Me and my boyfriend broke up. He broke up with me to go out with this one girl but we started talking again and the past 2 nights he has kissed me. He said he is confused and I want to get back with him. Would it be bad if I did? (link)
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It wouldn't be a bad thing, as long as he broke up with his girlfriend before anything else happened.
Unfortunately, at the moment he doesn't know what he wants and if you make efforts to get him back it will only cloud his judgement and make it harder for him to make his decision.
The best thing you can do right now, for your sake as much as anyone else, is speak to him about this and tell him you can't see him at all until he decides what he wants. Don't give him an ultimatum as such, but tell him he can't string you both along so until he knows what he wants, you're going to stay out of his way. This should, if anything, also boost you in his opinion because you're doing 'the honourable thing'.
If he really still cares about you - and it sounds like he does - I doubt you have anything to worry about.
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I've had sex about 7 times, and everytime I still bleed the next morning. Is this normal?
(link)
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I wouldn't like to yes. Although it is normal to bleed the first time because your hymen has been broken, it shouldn't continue to happen after this point.
It might be that the sex is a little too rough at the moment and it's damaging you inside. If it hurts after you have had sex, this is the most likely possibility.
However, I would recommend that you get yourself checked over by a doctor anyway, to be on the safe side. Where this part of your body is concerned, you never want to take it for granted that everything is okay. I doubt there is anything at all to worry about but it's better to be safe than sorry.
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Hi. I think I might have an eating disorder. Because, I am constantly eating. I eat snacks and stuff. And then im always full. I always tell myself "no" but I eat it anyway. Is there anything I can do to help this? (link)
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It doesn't sound like an eating disorder as such, as this phrase primarily covers anorexia or bulimia. If you're eating compulsively but not throwing it back up, it sounds as though you are comfort eating/compulsive eating.
Normally when we have stress in our lives and we feel as though things are beyond our control, we seek comfort in things we can control, like eating. Some people do this by making themselves sick or starving themselves. Others, like yourself, compulsively eat for no obvious reason.
What you need to do is identify the causes of stress in your life. The things that are upsetting you and stressing you out and try to resolve these. Comfort eating is a very difficult habit to break so I would recommend you take up something that will help take your mind off it. Try going out a little more, cycling or walking. Take up jigsaw puzzles or something artistic. Whatever it is, make sure it's something that will occupy your hands. If you are focusing on something else with your hands, you can't use them to eat.
If you still find you have difficulty, consider speaking with a counsellor who can help you to break the habit and learn to deal with the problems in your life in a more productive way. Please don't worry because it's really common! I've managed to compulsively eat 200g of chocolate in one go so don't worry, you're not alone!
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