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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I worked for a dollar store for about a year up until last August. I had put in my two weeks notice before I started school, but when I only had about 3 shifts left I was hit with some person issues that were really upsetting and I didn't think I'd be worth having at work in that condition. I called my boss and told her I couldn't come in for my last shifts.
I feel bad about this and I'm on a kick about apologizing for my wrongs, so I was wondering what the best medium for apology would be in this situation. I would feel pretty weird/nervous about apologizing in person since it's been so long. I wouldn't mind phoning and talking to her, or I already have a letter written up.
What do you think is most appropriate/best?
I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I think the wisdom that comes with age may be useful here.
I could be a little old fashion in what I'm about to say but nothing show sincerity like a hand written letter. Yes I realize this is the 21st century and the electronic age where we are heavily into email, texting and everything that goes with.
In a phone call a person can hear your sincerity in your voice. In a letter, while they cannot hear your sincerity they can infer it from the strength of your writing and words. Emails and texting lacks this sincerity.
Unless a person asks to be emailed all important correspondence should be sent by regular mail. This correspondence should be typed or handwritten in your best penmanship, grammar and spelling. In the instance of personal correspondence such as an apology,thank you note or sympathy message you always hand write the note or letter. The effort put into handwriting something shows earnest in your message given the electronic age we are in.
I want to rephrase my questiong because no one in understanding it. I am married. My husband has a son who lives with my husbands parents. My husband was young and unable to care for him now his parents dont want him to live with us (they think and even have him call them mom and dad) I have a son and we have a daughter together. I am thinking my step son is jealous some how and a little more. When we all get together (normally at my inlaws house) he is very "abusive" towards my kids purposely makes them mad yelling at them, example call my son to go play on the swings with him and then start spinnig with his legs out to purposly hitting him. There are many more examples some worse then the first. I have tried asking my mother in law about putting the boys in therepy or counsling together and she refuses there is anything wrong. my son is 4 and my step son is 7. No matter what I do its as soon as we get out of the car he starts with his attitude and being very rude. so as of right now we limit contact with them which we do not enjoy but we dont know what else to do.
Hi, I'm old enough to be you parent maybe even your grandfather. I am hoping that the wisdom that comes with age may be useful her.
I would first like to address your stepsons living arrangements. You said he lives with his grandparents. You did not say that the grandparents have legal custody. This is very important as no matter what your husband may have verbally agreed to, unless his parents have legal custody signed and filed with the courts; he can retake custody of his son at anytime or exert his parental rights at anytime.
Does your husband carry his son on his employers health insurance. If he does; while I am not a lawyer, I would say that his parental rights are still in tact. If you and your husband want the boys to have counseling then there is nothing the grandparents can say or do as they only have custodial custody or guardianship.
This does not mean your in-laws will not put up a fight. My take is that without signed documents, filed with the court and social services where both the child's mother and your husband have given up all parental rights, your in-laws have no standing in court.
You and your husband need to talk and decide what is in the best interest of his son and your other children. Once you are both in agreement I would then suggest, if you decide to fight for this child, that you seek out a good family law attorney and follow the advice you receive from the attorney.
I hope I have offered some help.
hi!am the one who took the 50piritons and today is the 3rd day and am stil ok,is there any problem or can i die?
Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and I hope you will listen to what I am about to impart to you.
I have looked up the drug Piriton on the Web. You have taken just over three(3) times the recommended adult daily dosage of this drug. Anytime you abuse a drug: yes by taking more of a drug then the recommended or prescribed dosage, you are abusing that drug, unless under a doctors supervision, their are side-effects. You may not be feeling them today, you are doing harm to yourself.
My advice is this: Stop taking this medication right now. Call your family doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency room. If you are unable to do that pick up the phone and dial the emergency number for the country you live in. Tell them you have overdosed on this drug.
If you still live at home tell your parents, they will know what to do. Whatever you decide to do, do it now before you harm yourself further. You could be looking at Liver, Kidney and even Heart problems due to the overdose of this drug.
what does it mean when i sleep a lot. its always at a certain time i dont understand why this has been happening everyday for about a week now at around 2 as soon as i get home from school til about 5 or 6 in the after noon is that normal? and then when i go to bed at night i usually go to bed around 10 or 11 and wake up at 5:30 -6 depends how tired i am but i dnt know whats wrong with me why im so tired it wasnt like that before
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
You have already received some very good answers. Sleep is away the body heals itself, relieves tension or just plainly recoups what it has spent. It is also one of the signs of depression. Should what started last week continues for any length of time , say for more than another week, then you should schedule an appointment with your doctor.
Why: Mainly for whatever reason you body is craving sleep, that rest is not fixing whatever is wrong. Whatever your body is attempting to correct may need medical intervention to help the body heal; such as an antibiotic. While your with your doctor you can also be screened for depression. I don't think depression is you problem as there are many other symptoms that i believe you would have mentioned if you do or did have a form of depression.
My advice: Let your parents know whats going on. They are your best resource for medical information about things that may be troubling you. Then schedule an appointment with your family doctor if this continues to be a problem.
Hi I am a teenager. In the middle of the day I noticied the right side of my neck was really sore. It doesn't hurt to move it side to side but it hurts to pull it back. Then when doing chrunches I would lift my neck and then again the right side of my neck would hurt. It feels like I pulled a muscle in my neck! I do ballet and my class was yesterday so that could be it. I also have been really stressed with school and I left the pilliow I ussually use at a friends house. So what's with my neck? And how can I make it less sore?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I'm hoping the wisdom of my age will be helpful.
First of all none of us are doctors and therefore not qualified to make a diagnoses and should not be doing so even if we were without the ability of a hands on exam.
That being said there are many ways you could have injured your neck. It may be a simple pulled muscle or more complex as a torn muscle, there is no way we can tell. It is also possible you may have injured a disc in you neck. The only proper way to diagnose the last two is through imaging studies.
First step: You go to mom or dad and tell them your neck hurts as you have explained to us and for how long. Let them decide if you need to see a doctor.
Second step: DO as your parents and doctor tell you. The most serious of the possible injuries is a slipped neck disc. If left untreated the disc will degenerate and you start to feel greater pain. Left untreated you could even suffer some partial paralysis if you should happen to pinch the spinal cord.
Yes, I've painted a frightening picture of what can happen. I did so for a reason. When you do something to yourself such as this we are not the ones to turn to for help or advise. You should turn to your parent or guardian that is what a parent or guardian is for; to protect you and to see to your well being. Medical problems of any type should not be hidden from them, even female type medical problems. Remember when it comes to female medical problems or thinks you may not understand mom is just like you, just a little older. She has gone through everything you are going through and can answer your questions or decide if something needs to be seen by a doctor.
Why stress yourself out over something while the best resource is only a room or two away.
well i'm 17 years old and i'm a 26A i have been the same size since i was 12 years old and i haven't grown yet i was wondering weather my boobs will grow or they will stay this size forever
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grand father and it is questions like your that I chose to be an advisor on this website. Hopefully the wisdom of my age and the grandfatherly advice i will offer will be of help to you.
At 17 years of age you could be in the late stages of puberty, meaning there is a small window of hope that something may change. I was extremely short for my age until I hit my 17th birthday then had a growth spurt and shot up to 6' 2" which added almost 6" to me.
While I cannot speak with any certainty that this will happen with your breast, the possibility is there at least for another year or so. In the mean time if you do not wish to remain a 26 A and are thinking of breast enhancement surgery now is the time to start looking for a Plastic Surgeon.
There are two things you want to look for when looking for a Plastic Surgeon. First and foremost is that the Surgeon is Certified by the College of Plastic Surgeon. Any doctor can do a residency in Plastics and call themselves a Plastic Surgeon. A good Plastic Surgeon will have passed all the criteria to meet the needs to be accredited by the College of Plastic Surgeons.
Even with accreditation, there are different techniques and different prices doctors charge.
My wife was found to have breast cancer and had a mastectomy with reconstruction. The fortunate side of this was that insurance covered the reconstruction and we were able to find a really great surgeon. I dare anyone to look at my wife's cleavage and tell me which is the fake breast. I know which one it is and I have a hard time telling. The long and short of it is you get what you pay for. So unless you can get your doctor to certify that this is of medical necessity you will have to pay out of pocket and the cost could run upwards of $18,000. If you want the most natural look the higher the cost will be as the more time consuming the surgery will be.
The surgeons you see may want you to wait a year or so. These are the surgeons you want to choose from. They may feel, after examination, as I stated; that you may still be in the late stages of puberty and a growth spurt may be possible. You may have a growth spurt maybe to a B cup. Then you can decide if you still want to enhance your breasts.
is it legal for a 18 year old to date a 15 yeard old
While the first two answer are spot on I wish to remind you to also be mindful of the Mann Act. The Mann Act is a Federal Offence as such supersedes State Law.
In short the Mann act has to do with crossing state borders for the purpose of indecent acts. Although you may meet the legal ages in both states for consent. You could still run a foul of the Mann Act if the Federal Attorney for the area want to intercede for some reason.
Just curious for people's thoughts.
I firmly believe there is someone for anyone who wants to be in a loving relationship. It is a matter of choices that we all make. Now whether it be a conscious or unconscious choice; that is a question I do not have an answer for.
Well I am a 14 year old girl and I feel like out of my friends I am the ugly one. The guys always talk to them and ask them out but never me. I know I need to be more social but I don't know what to talk about. I need advice on how to make myself prettier and get guys to notice me.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I'm hoping that the wisdom that comes with my age and a little grandfatherly advice will be helpful to you.
First stop thinking of yourself as the ugly duckling, it is self defeating. You will understand this statement more as I go on.
You are 14 years old, you are just starting to mature and are going through puberty. Your body and yes your facial features will continue to change for the next 4 to 6 years and you mature and you body continues to secrete certain hormones. The hard facts about maturing is we all mature at different ages and rates, hence the term late bloomers. I will tell you that I was a guy who was a late bloomer and I benefited from it buy watching and learning from the guys who matured faster than I did. In other words I learned from their mistakes.
As far as beauty is concerned, there are different types of beauty. There is beauty that is only skin deep with nothing behind it to satisfy the other senses we humans need. Hence the term airhead.
Then their is the beauty that lies just below the skin. This is the person most people are looking for. This person is a conversationalist, nurturing, joyful and just plain fun to be with. This is the type of person most people look for in their future life partner.
Then their is the truly ugly person, this person can have magnificent looks but just below those looks that person is spite full, resentful and truly hateful. This is the person no one really wants to be with. Hence the term, Bitch.
You are 14 years old and still developing. You are today a beautiful person. Just who and what you will turn out to be is your to define. If you focus only on physical beauty you are doing yourself a disservice.
It wasn't that long ago that women were restricted as to what they could become. Today a girl can dream to be an astronaut and grow up to be come one or a pilot for an airline.
Today a girl can grow up to be just about anything they want to be; the are able to do this because they do not think of themselves as just beautiful or ugly. If you limit yourself to these two choices you are doing yourself a grave disservice. Yes I understand the need for a social life and the pressure surrounding having one in school. But life does not begin and end in High school or college. It begins when school ends, hopefully with a college degree.
High school and college are a place to hone your social skills and you will; just set you mind to the fact that you are a beautiful person and you will attract the right kind of boys.
14/f
Sometimes I can feel a pulse in my abdomen, not hard but just there, (not pregnant) and I thought it was normal until I looked online and saw that it's a symptom of an AAA which I forget how to spell. Anyway it scared the living crap out of me as I fear surgery. Are there other symptoms I should look out for? I know it's more of an elderly thing but I'm paranoid sometimes. Is it normal? Thank you!
I'm not a doctor but if your basing your opinion on the fact that you can feel your pulse when you touch your abdomen; I would say based on what I have read, this is not systematic of Abdominal Aorta Aneurysm. Again based on the research I have done to answer your question; even a trained physician has problems detecting a Abdominal Aorta Aneurysm by palpation and need either an ultrasound or MRI to make the diagnoses.
If you would like to learn more about this medical problem follow this link: http://www.medicinenet.com/abdominal_aortic_aneurysm/article.htm.
Why are my balls different sizes?
I found the following article while researching an answer for your question. As the article does a much better job of answer your question I have copied it here. As the article will show, if you are concerned or if there is a large difference in size of your testicles you should see your doctor.
Different Size Testicles
By Harvey Simon, M.D.
Q: One of my testicles is much larger than the other. Is this a concern?
A: Although one testicle is usually a bit lower in the scrotum, healthy testicles are nearly identical in size. So you should be concerned if yours differ substantially – but that doesn't mean you should be alarmed or panicky.
In adults, testicles average about two inches in length and about 1/3 ounce in weight. They have a smooth surface and a firm but slightly spongy texture.
Men who've had orchitis (inflammation of a testicle due to mumps or another cause) on one side will be left with one small testicle. But if one testicle is normal and the other is larger, something else is responsible for the difference. Most often, it's a hydrocele; a benign collection of fluid around a normal testicle. A simple test called transillumination can tell doctors when fluid is present, since a bright light will pass though fluid but not a solid mass. Acute infections can cause a testicle to enlarge, but since these conditions are very painful and the swollen structures are red, warm and tender, you'd have already seen a doctor for the problem.
The most serious possibility is testicular cancer, which typically produces a hard, non-tender lump or mass. Fortunately, the disease is highly curable – just ask Lance Armstrong. A painless, safe testicular ultrasound test is the way to start evaluating this possibility – and it's also an excellent way to check out the other possible causes of an enlarged testicle.
Since testicular cancer is a disease of young men, we encourage males under age 35 to check their testicles every month or so. I'm glad you noticed this and reported it. Now make an appointment to see your doctor. You're likely to get good news, but it's important to be sure.
Copyright © 2009 by the Presidents and Fellows of Harvard College. Used with permission of StayWell. All rights reserved. Harvard Medical School does not approve or endorse any products on the page. Harvard is the sole creator of its editorial content, and advertisers are not allowed to influence the language or images Harvard uses
Last year I admitted to my wife of 3 years that I have been a crossdresser and bi all of my life. I am 31 years old. I also admitted having relations with several men during my life. She took me by surprise when she told me that she is supportive of all of this and wants to be part of it. She likes buying clothes for me and helping to dress me up. Occasionally we go out together as girlfriends. When we are making love she likes me to be dressed in the clothes she picks out for me. She also likes it when I tell her about the sex I have had with men. Recently she has been asking me to go out with her dressed up in search of a guy to pick up so she can watch me have sex with him. I don't have a problem making it with a guy but I am not sure if I should do it in front of my wife. She say's that she want's me to do this for her to help her understand my crossdressing. Is this something I should agree too?
Hi, I'm someone who is old enough to be you father and hopefully the wisdom that comes with age will be helpful to you.
Before I offer you my suggestion let me say this. My view on sex is that it must be consensual between both partners. If you feel that you are being pressured to do something to satisfy your wife that is not my definition of consensual. Also understand that anything that happens between two partners (or more) is not weird as long as all involved consent.
I can understand how someone being asked to have sex with a stranger in front of their partner could be outside their comfort zone. For most of us sex is a very private matter to be enjoyed by only two.
A possible solution to this is to ask one of your regular partners if he would consent to allowing you to video tape one of your encounters. It is a lot easier to ignore the camera than it is a person. You can also hide a camera so it is unseen.
If watching you with a male partner is what your wife wants to see this could be the solution. She gets to watch just not be in the room. I would suggest that you rent some gay porn video just to make your wife fully aware of what she will be seen between her husband and some other man before you actually video yourself having sex with another man.
So I have had 6 different sex partners. No need to judge I'm a freshmen in college, but anyways I thought that after awhile sex would stop being so painful for me but it hasn't at all. When I'm on bottom it probably hurts the most and it feels like I'm going to pee. Sex just never feels good for me but I still enjoy it for some reason. I want to stop having painful sex. My recent sex partner and I always have to stop because it hurts so much and than keep going, slow down or change positions. It's just so frustrating because I just want to have pleasurable sex. And I popped my cherry over a year ago so I know that's not the problem.. Any suggestions?
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and no I am not going to preach to you. Instead I hope the wisdom of my age may be useful to you. It is questions such as yours is the reason that I answer questions on this website.
First there are probably several reason for why you are having pain during intercourse. The best way to find out why is to visit your gynecologist. Don't be embarrassed to do so as you will not be the first or the last 19 year old to visit for this problem. In fact you should never be embarrassed to tell any doctor anything. In order for the doctor to properly treat you they have to know everything about the problem whether you think it is relevant or not. Okay that is about as close as I will get to preaching.
As to other reasons for pain. You could have a small or tilted pelvis. You could have a vaginal infection which left untreated could effect your reproductive ability. These require a doctor to check and advise you on.
Once you have seen a doctor and all other factors have been ruled out then that leaves just one other factor to consider. You have not properly lubricated and ready for penile penetration.
The biggest reason is 19 year old boys are not the greatest lovers; their more of a wham, bam thank you mam type lover. The other factors could be you do not feel safe in the locations you are making love in or you do are not comfortable
I have found that a women must feel safe, meaning that no one is going to walk in and discover you having sex. Your in college so if your having sex in his dorm room it is possible one of his room mates could walk in and find you naked in his bed. I'm sure this is not something you may feel good about.
Comfort: Trying to have sex in a single dorm bed while possible is not very comfortable, add to that a wham, bam, thank you mam lover and I can see see a desert being more lubricated than most women.
That brings us back to being properly stimulated. As the saying goes, show a guy a picture of a naked women and he'll screw a not hole for relief.
A women on the other hand needs stimulation, foreplay. Unfortunately us guy, were kind of thick in the head; both heads. The one in our pants and the one between our shoulder blades. You women need to teach us what you need in order to enjoy our love making. You need to show us how you like to be touched, how you like your nipples sucked, nipped, pinched or pulled. Are you vaginal or clitoral. Do you know if you are more vaginal or clitoral. During foreplay do you like having the guy put his fingers and tongue in you or do you prefer having your clit stimulated, sucked on or even nipped at. IF it is the later your more clitoral.
My suggestion: Go see a gynecologist and make sure everything is in working order. Then make sure where you make love is secure and you are comfortable. If you still are having pain during intercourse you are going to have to teach your lover how to make love to you so that you are properly stimulated and ready for him to penetrate you. Until he learns to make love and not just fuck, there is a difference, get a good lubricant.
I'm very depressed. My mom died 8 months ago after being diagnosed with breast cancer. When she first found out, it was still at an early stage, so she could have cured it, but when she told my dad to go to the doctor with her, he said 'I don't give a fuck', so she ended up just living with the cancer for 3 more months or so till it reached the last stage and spread through her entire body, and she died. You see my dad hates my mom, and he's been abusing her since before I was even born. And I hate him because of that, I truly hate him, and I also hate him because he hates me and hates my sisters and he physically and emotionally abuses us all the time, but I can't send him to jail because where I live and in my religion, the father does not go to jail or is not punished for abusing his children. So i came up with a plan of leaving home, and I've been saving up ever since I was young, and I'm going to leave home at the last day of college, because I don't want to leave my sister alone, and by the time I finish college, hopefully she would've started her own life away from the house. So I still have 3 more years in college, and I also can't leave now, because I have to finish college and my studies, and I need money from him to do be able to do that. But the thing is, I can't take it anymore, I wanna leave now, but if I leave now, I won't be able to go to college, because then he'll find me, and bring me back and abuse me again and more. I keep having all those thoughts of killing him and stabbing him and I pray to god all the time that he dies, because I've been miserable since I was born, and he made my mom miserable and my whole family, and now my mom is dead, and he killed her because he wouldn't take her to the doctor when she first told him. Me and my sisters are the ones who took her to the doctor when she finally told us, but it was too late. And I am mad at her, I am mad at my mom, because she had the chance to divorce him so many times, and yet she didn't, and when she got sick, she knew that she was going to die and she knew he'd abuse us and make our lives miserable, and yet she didn't do anything about it. I just want to leave, I want it all to end, I am so depressed.
Unless you live in a Country ruled by Islamic Law you can report your father to the proper authorities for child abuse. In the United States or any of the European countries, child abuse and child endangerment is against the law. The law of the land always will come before any religious law. What this means is that even if your father is a practitioner of Islamic Law at home, but home is in a non Islamic country he can and will be arrested if reported.
If you live in the United States I would like you to call a hotline operated by RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. This is a 24/7 hotline staffed by volunteers who are trained to help you find people in your hometown who can assist you in getting the proper help. The hotline number is : 1-800-656-HELP. Please if you live in the USA call them or go their home page: http://www.rainn.org/ to find a center near you.
Y our first responsibility is to the health and safety of you and your sister.
Hello. I really like the way you answer some people's questions so I was hoping you could help me with mine. I learned from my girlfriend (when we were not dating) that she had oral sex with a boy she met on a trip to Europe. I am wondering..should I be worried about catching a STD from her if I decide I wanted to have oral sex with her (or do I need to be worred about making out with her!)
A resent study I read shows that STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. Especially the Herpes virus.
The best advice I can offer you is to ask her to get tested before having any type of sex with her. It is for her safety as well as yours.
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. We're both 22 and have a lot in common, and the beginning looks promissing for a successful long term relationship. The compatibility, his behavior, his mix of almost everything I want from a man, him finding what a lot of what he looks for in a woman with me... Though early, it seems like this could potentially blossom with time into something beautiful. So far, we bring out the best in each other, we push each other to do better, and we function like a team in many aspects. I honestly think this relationship makes both of us happier and better persons.
We haven't had sex yet, though we got to the stage of doing everything else, including sleeping together in the same bed without clohes on. I am not a virgin, but sex is a serious topic for me. I don't take it lightly, and I only want to think of having it in the context of a long term, loving relationship possibly heading towards marriage. I have had two serios relationships previously, which both ended at their own times due to compatibility reasons. After my second relationship I had told myself that I will only have sex again with a man that I am compatible enough to head into marriage. That doesn't mean waiting until marriage itself, but having a relationship with a good enough shape for that, if it makes sense. I don't want to get married now, but I see myself there in 2-3 years.
There is a strong attraction between me and my bf, which is why we got as far as we did. Despite the physical connection so far, I deffinetely don't feel ready to take it to the final end and have the sexusal intercourse, with all the risks and vulnerability it implies. I need more time for the relationship to develop and ...well to see how much of a long term it can get.
Last night he told me, while we were on his bed,that "That's it. This has to happen soon", because he "can't wait much longer". That "It's been already more than 3 months", and that "he's already showed me" he loves me and he's interested in more than just a sex fling with me.
I felt hurt by his words, and taken aback, because up to this point he acted very patient and encouraging, telling me things like "I can take as much time I need". I am curious ,was this something said in the sexual tension of the moment, or if it goes deeper and should worry me as to his feelings and intentions. I also don't want him to suspect any other reasons why I don't want to have sex with him, and on the other hand I don't know how to tell him everything on my mind without scarring him off.
I am sorry about the long post, but I am a bit confused about what I should do in my interaction with him. What I am not confused about is that I don't want to go all the way yet... So I guess I am asking for some feedback and for views of how people would handle this situation. Thank you
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I consider myself very liberal when it comes to matters of sex and loving relationships. I have to say that after reading your story even I'm confused.
Should I read into this that you and your boyfriend are together in the nude and absolutely nothing sexual happens between you; or that everything but intercourse happens. If you sleep in the nude allowing him to see you this way but not to touch you or be touched by you; you are a tease in the biggest definition of the word.
Should you allow him for finger you have oral sex with you and you reciprocate then he is pushing for something he should be able to wait until you are ready for. But you must tell him the what and the why of you putting him off so he understands and can decide for himself; otherwise in his mind you are a tease who is not think of his needs.
I have always believed that sex is a beautiful thing when practiced between two consenting adults. The operative word is consenting. If either party is forced to do something they are not comfortable with then the sex is neither consenting or beautiful.
Since this is the point you are approaching; as you have not fully explained yourself to your boyfriend. You may feel that in order to keep him you may have to give in to having intercourse with him. The sex may be good but not beautiful as you may feel used. This will hurt your relationship and probably did so in the past.
I have two suggestions: The first, come clean to your boyfriend and explain yourself to him so he understands where you are coming from. Times are changing and while your views are still among the minority the are fast moving towards the majority. Second; If he agrees that you may be the one for him but he needs to see if you are sexually compatible, we use to call it a test ride, then some joint counseling might help both of you decide where to go from here.
I'm 23 years old. I've been looking for work for months now after leaving school due to medical issues in October. I finally got an interview, but I've run into a problem. I don't have references. Here's why:
Last job: Had a legal battle with the owners of the company. They were chronically disorganized and claimed to have paid me for my last month of work when they hadn't. I had to hire a lawyer to get them to pay me, and even then they refused to give me the overtime they owed me. So I didn't leave on the best of terms with them.
Previous job: Another small, family-owned business. The owner, I was warned, gives terrible references because she wants you to keep coming back to work for her. I can't rely on her for a good reference.
Before that: Nobody I worked with is still there.
I haven't done volunteer work in ages, I haven't done... well, much of anything over the last year other than school, and I didn't have any sort of relationship with my teachers where I could ask them for a reference.
What do I do? Is it strange to bring just character references? My interview is on Wednesday morning.
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I hope the wisdom of my age can be helpful.
Have you ever heard the saying; "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. That applies to references from former employers. Legally all they can say about your employment should they not want to give you a reference is that yes you were employed there. They can not give a reason for your departure or say anything about the legal matters you two were involved in. To do so opens them up to more legal matters from you.
You are free to explain to your employer that they refused to pay you your last months wages and what you needed to do to collect them. I would recommend doing so as no recommendation can be a red flag.
I once left an employer for a new job and had to sue them for commissions they withheld as their cost to replace me. Totally illegal for them to do so and the courts sided with me forcing them to pay me what they withheld plus interest, attorneys fee's and costs. This was tens' of thousands of dollars and until I retired I had to explain this to future employers. I don't think it was ever held against me.
Being fresh out of college most employers are not looking at past work experience as much as there are looking at your college experience. Type up a resume showing your school history with grade point averages for high school and college. High grade point averages are just as good an indication of the type of person you are as former work experience at this point in your life.
I am a fifteen year old girl living in Hell. My parents fight constantly. Over the dumbest shit ever. I am smited and cursed at and beat because I can't do a lot of things the way my parents want because I have never learned. For instance, today, my stepdad strangled me because I walked away when he was telling me to go get something. My mom pulled me by my hair because I accidentally got the house wet with the hose when I was cleaning out the cat box. They treat me like shit. My mom tells me I'm ugly and she gets very angry because I am quiet and I am a little bit difficult at learning things. She complains that I can't do anything right. It makes me feel like I will never ever amount to anything at all. When I try to be what they want, I can't do it right. When I want to be who I am, they treat me like shit. They don't listen to what I have to say, they think I am a complete failure, and nothing I ever do is ever perfect for them. Somedays I just feel like killing myself, or running away, or even calling child services. My life is off and on happiness. I was happy and now I am getting depressed. They expect so much out of me when I don't know what they want. I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. They threaten me and my sister, and they abuse us when we don't say or do the right thing. We are sick of it. My sister is 9.
Anything will help us. I just need some guidance.
Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully I can be of help to you.
First I am so sorry you are living as you are. No child should have to live with the physical and mental abuse you and your sister are under. When your step-father strangled you he crossed the line from mental abuse to battery and even could be charged with attempted murder. Depends on what the police find when they investigate.
If the physical abuse is an every day occurrence for you and your sister then you are not safe and need to get out of there. You can do so by calling 911 or taking your sister and going to the nearest fire station and asking for help. Fire stations across the country are safe havens for abused children.
If the abuse is not a daily occurrence then tomorrow, Monday, talk to your teacher or principal about what is happening to you. If the marks form where your step-father strangled you are still visible show them the marks. By law they must take steps to intervene.
Your mother is wrong when she says you are an ugly person. I can tell from your writing you are in fact a very beautiful caring young lady who is watching out for her sister and herself. The definition of the word ugly your mother is using has nothing to do with physical beauty. As I said in the manner she is using it she is dead wrong you are a beautiful person and don't ever forget that.
ok so my mom is always yelling or telling me im a b**** or a little f*** and i'm getting so upset and tired of it. she tells me and my sister to shut up and go the f*** away whenever we try to talk to her about anything cuz she is always on stupid facebook on her phone whenever she isnt screaming at a member of my family. and i hate wen she yells so much because she yells much louder than my neighbors who were actually in the military (no lie). and sometimes she squeezes my face and screams in my face for some dumb reason (she has done this many times in the past but not too recently.) and other times, she says "i brought u into this world and i can take you out" and she says that she will kick me to the ground, help me up then kick me down again. and she says that she will smash me and my sister's heads 2gether. anyway, is this normal and ok for her to do? oh and fyi, she has never beat me before. she has just grabbed me with her nails and they went into my skin a little bit a few times and she has grabbed my face but nothing horrible. . .
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully the wisdom of my age will be helpful to you.
For a mom to yell at her children is normal, to yell so loud that she can be heard on the next block is not normal. TO harm you around your face and head is abuse as is digging her nails into your skin.
You do not say where your father is in all this and why he has done nothing to stop this or if he is even aware that his is going on. If dad is not aware of what is going on and is someplace you can contact him then he is the first one to contact. If for some reason you cannot contact your father then contact you grandparents, Aunts or Uncles for help.
Something is wrong with mom and she needs help. Once you go outside the family for that help, and you may have too, there is less control over the situation. Should you be unable to get any family members to help then you have no choice but to go to a teacher or school principal or guidance councilor. By law they have to take certain actions on your behalf if they feel you and or your sister are in danger.
Should something happen when you are not able to get to school call 911 for help. If you cannot use the phone take your sister and go to the nearest fire station. Fire station are safe havens for children. The firefighters will care for you while calling for the proper help.
I'm M/15. My poop is normal and my stomach isn't hurting as I type. BUT for the last few days it hurts when I lay or move in certain ways. It doesn't really hurt it just feels funny. In gym I ran a lap & got a cramp there. I also twisted to the right really quick while playing Bad Minton. It's at like the lower middle right. What is this, how can I stop it?
I'm not a doctor either non of us are. I am old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully the wisdom of my age will have meaning for you.
The best thing to do when you experience unusual pain such as you are now experiencing is to consult mom or dad. Let them decide if you need to see a doctor. They can always call the doctor and ask if the doctor wants to see you. Being 15 you can consult with your doctor without parental permission. Let the doctor make the decision as to whether or not you should be seen in the office.
We are all uniquely different in make up and while we might suffer the same aches and pains the causes can be very different. Your parents and your doctor know you best and should be the best authority to consult when not feel properly.