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My house is Hell.
I am a fifteen year old girl living in Hell. My parents fight constantly. Over the dumbest shit ever. I am smited and cursed at and beat because I can't do a lot of things the way my parents want because I have never learned. For instance, today, my stepdad strangled me because I walked away when he was telling me to go get something. My mom pulled me by my hair because I accidentally got the house wet with the hose when I was cleaning out the cat box. They treat me like shit. My mom tells me I'm ugly and she gets very angry because I am quiet and I am a little bit difficult at learning things. She complains that I can't do anything right. It makes me feel like I will never ever amount to anything at all. When I try to be what they want, I can't do it right. When I want to be who I am, they treat me like shit. They don't listen to what I have to say, they think I am a complete failure, and nothing I ever do is ever perfect for them. Somedays I just feel like killing myself, or running away, or even calling child services. My life is off and on happiness. I was happy and now I am getting depressed. They expect so much out of me when I don't know what they want. I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. They threaten me and my sister, and they abuse us when we don't say or do the right thing. We are sick of it. My sister is 9.
Anything will help us. I just need some guidance.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
speak up to a counselor ASAP be prepared to be afraid of change and learn to live a new life. I noticed for someone who doesn't comprehend well, your grammar and writing skills are excellent. Your path in life might be to go through the storm of doing what's right and getting out and writing about it and sharing with others.
You must tell yourself everyday, you are wonderful. Believe it. There is a purpose in all this happening/
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I've been through the same situation. You can't live like that. Especially with your younger sibling. You NEED to get help before it gets worse and one of you is either hospitalized or killed. Call 911 next time it happens, talk to your teachers. Just get the help you need. I know it's scary to go through foster homes, but you must think about yourself as well as your little sister.
I know how tough it can be from getting help. I had it hard as well. My parents beat me and my little brothers, and after a while nearly killed my baby brother (who was only 7 at the time). But the doctors didn't think anything of it because they were told he fell out of a tree. It got to a point I was desperate for help, if not for myself at least my younger siblings, I couldn't stand to see the pain they were going through. Later I spoke with teachers about what was happening, telling them my situation and they got me the help I needed. I was afraid of telling anyone because the thoughts that ran through my head "What if mom and dad find out?" Just fear kept me originally from getting help. But in the end getting help was the best thing. I'm terrible at explanation, but I can tell you, don't let fear hold you back. In the long run you will be helped.
Don't think. Just do. Call protective services. Don't kill yourself, life is beautiful, and your sister needs you. If you run away, she'll be left alone. The best thing to do, call CPS. Or if you are afraid of being caught, next time you're in school, ask your teacher or school counselor for help. Tell them your situation. Dont be afraid. Talk to your sister as well. So she isn't thrown into confusion. Just, keep strong, and get help. No one should ever have to put up with abuse.
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Hi, I am old enough to be your grandfather and hopefully I can be of help to you.
First I am so sorry you are living as you are. No child should have to live with the physical and mental abuse you and your sister are under. When your step-father strangled you he crossed the line from mental abuse to battery and even could be charged with attempted murder. Depends on what the police find when they investigate.
If the physical abuse is an every day occurrence for you and your sister then you are not safe and need to get out of there. You can do so by calling 911 or taking your sister and going to the nearest fire station and asking for help. Fire stations across the country are safe havens for abused children.
If the abuse is not a daily occurrence then tomorrow, Monday, talk to your teacher or principal about what is happening to you. If the marks form where your step-father strangled you are still visible show them the marks. By law they must take steps to intervene.
Your mother is wrong when she says you are an ugly person. I can tell from your writing you are in fact a very beautiful caring young lady who is watching out for her sister and herself. The definition of the word ugly your mother is using has nothing to do with physical beauty. As I said in the manner she is using it she is dead wrong you are a beautiful person and don't ever forget that.
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Start planning your escape.
Step 1 is researching emancipation. Find out when and how you can get yourself emancipated. Emancipation, if you don't know, essentially declares you an adult and removes your family's responsibility for you and control over you. Everything else comes from achieving that. Google it.
With emancipation you can receive federal student aid for college with no trouble or interference from your family, get yourself some kind of education, and start working on building something separate from them.
Calling CPS and explaining the situation in detail might be one way of getting yourself emancipated. I am wary of suggesting this because what I know of foster homes, especially foster homes for teenaged girls, is pretty much all bad. Is there a cutoff in your state? Could you call CPS at 17 and a half if nothing else works and get yourself emancipated? Things you need to find out about. You might need to talk to a lawyer, so look up local family law attorneys and see if any of them will give you a cheap consultation or some good pro bono legal advice.
You might be able to get your family to cooperate. Wary of suggesting this too, as it gives them something to hold over your head. Don't bring it up to them unless you've got a contingency plan in place in case they refuse or worse, try to sabotage your ability to win your freedom.
College funding will make all the difference. Look into 2 year specialty degrees. Nursing, xrays, medical billing and coding, PTA, these are what come to mind but anything that gives you a high income potential after a 2 year training course at a technical college would work.
Once you get in school, get a part time job. 2 reasons. 1, you'll probably need the extra income; 2, you provide yourself an opportunity to meet friends. Possibly friends who might need a room mate. Sharing costs saves money, which will make the whole thing easier.
You get out, you get school asap, you develop school quickly into a stable job that you can easily live off of. Then you start looking at the future and where you want to go from there. Family, more school for a better career, promotion in your field if you like what you're doing, etc.
This is alot of long term thinking to dump on a 15 year old. I know what you're going through. Having a plan, goals for the future that lay beyond the current undesirable state of my life was what got me through the down times.
There is a window here, between now and 18, where you can cut yourself off from your family and be rewarded with loans and grants for college. Call technical colleges. Look them up online. Find something you think you could do and enjoy to give yourself some stability and ability to pay your way in the world. Plan beyond that and figure out where you want that stability to let you go.
Above all, emancipation. If you don't you'll have to wait until 24, married, or a veteran to get access to funding for school.
Start thinking ahead. Believe that there's a road out of hell. Make it for yourself. And figure it out quietly, the fewer people who know about the future you're trying to build for yourself, the easier it will be to get out of that house with said future intact.
On the emotional side of things, start with talking to a school counselor. A plan won't stop you from feeling like crap when you're treated badly, when you've got a few bruises or welts. That needs planning too.
Talk to a school counselor. See if you can at least talk to one of them and just have someone to listen to you and be understanding. See if they can help you speak to someone else, a therapist perhaps.
At 15, the concept of taking control of your life is a little hard to quantify. There's alot that's still out of your control. Taking control right now means building a little mental fort around yourself and the future you want. Protecting it. Nurturing it. Refusing to let anyone else step on it, no matter how hard they try.
Take control. Your family is an obstacle. Nothing more. Hold that truth close, keep it private and let it keep you strong. Play along until the opportunity to get out that you engineer for yourself comes along. Leave on your own terms, for your own reasons, and with your own timing.
After that, the only two things left to do are enjoy every bit of life you can, and save money for an excellent psychiatrist.
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If your 15, i would go to your school counselor and talk with them. i know these situations are very hard, i have also been there.i use to be scared to tell anyone because i never wanted my parents to find out in fear of them possibly hitting me worse or me being put in a different home.all i could do was be strong.listen to them when they needed things even if i didn't want to do them, just to get by a day.if you try talking to someone, but you are scared, don't tell them all of it. make it seem urgent but nothing extremely bad so they have to take you out of the house and your sister, unless that is what you want. Try not to bring yourself down because someday you will realize you is all you have.being who you are is very important, but sometimes we really have no choice but to be who we have to be in order to get somewhere in life or get by just a simple day. Being strong and talking to someone is the best advice i can possibly give you. if you need anymore help just ask. -Kayla
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Your family needs counseling that's for sure. Standing up to your parents definitely won't help because they'll end up beating you. No parent should tell their child they're ugly or strangle them, or pull them by their hair. In fact, NO WOMAN should be pulled by their hair. Karma, keep that in mind. For now, try seeking someone to talk to that can probably aid you finding someone to help your family. Try going to advice to a counselor and maybe they can recommend someone.
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