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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Alright so I've very insecure lately. I've always been insecure, but it got worse. Now im taking pills. I just inferring what MGs are? I know it's milligrams. But what's milligrams? I took 2 cinnamon pill mg 500 each. And 2 green tea pills. I'm not too sure how many mg that is. It says Calcium (as calcium carbonate) -165mg
Chromium (as chromium dinicotinate glycinate) - 250 mcg
But at the bottom it says Proprietary blend - 882mg
So confused. Especially when I don't know what milligrams is. I take an everyday synthroid pill for my thyroid but I still don't understand. Can someone please help me? Could I overdose?

You can have reactions from too much of even a harmless herb if taken in too large a quantity. If you are going the herbal route, it would be best for you to see a Naturopath and find out what he/she recommends as herbs and supplements to take for insecurity. They will also explains how many pills and how often. If you just walked into a Super Supplements or other Natural product store and asked for items that help with insecurity, sometimes they are pretty knowledgeable. But they may assume you will choose one or two products and not a whole slew to take all at once. They can be wrong as they arent trained as natural doctors.
Mg means milligram. The size of a pill will sometimes determine how many milligrams it is. Don't worry about the mg's . Just read what the pill dosage is for one day. Usually it's one tablet per day . But guess work is not wise, even if it's herbal. Ask a professional because there may be another way to work on your insecurities.

So my best friends step mom is gonna get married with the guy I like brother and both me and my best friend like him. But he likes me because my best friend is one of his "people" he tells her everything and she tells me. I know he likes me but he has a girlfriend and hes only dating her because she was desprete but my best friend told me that when he breaks up with his girlfriend that hes not interested in hes gonna ask me out and so many weird things hav happened between me and him like some how we ended up texting eachother and he didn't know it was me and I didn't know it was him and just gonna so weird when he asks me out I don't know how to react to him asking me out!!! I'm 11 and im a girl. Can any one give me some good advice?? Thanks!

I am doing the math here. You and friend are 11. Most parents even step parents are around 20 yrs older or more, than the kids. So that puts for my guesses a step mom of about 31. The guy she's marrying could be her age or ten years older or ten years younger. Although some do, not too many go for an age gap bigger than that. That puts her husband to be at anywhere from 21 to 41. Most people when they have children, the children are on the average 2 to 3 years apart in age.
So the guy getting married has a brother who is at the very least 3 years younger or older than 21, which is anywhere from 18 to 24. Or at the older range, if the marrying guy is 41, that puts his brother at 38 to 44.
So this guy you both are interested in is anywhere from 18 to 41. A man of 18 and older should know better to not get involved with a girl of 11. I can guarantee that a guy that age or older doesn't have your best interests in mind. He will be selfish, immature and likely want a sexual relationship with you...which at that age is illegal. I know you haven't grown up yet so you don't know better but he should.
So how should you react to the guy asking you out?

RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!! If you don't value yourself enough to wait until you're older and for a mature guy closer to your age, then your future could easily go down the toilet relationship wise and end up pregnant with multiple abortions, used, abused, dumped over and over. You have no idea what you are about to get into.
I would like you to look for Lacigreen on facebook and join her site. She is older than you, learned some things the hard way but mostly didnt do too badly and she's young in early 20s I'd say and she also has a youtube channel covering anything on sex and more like kids your age dating...relationships, gender based stuff, and more. If you dont trust what I say to say as an older woman...at least listen to Laci since she is closer to your age and has very smart good information.

I don't know any buddhists and there are no temples or anything like that near me. Are there any online places I can ask for guidence?

I do not know of any strictly Buddhist community on line. But there is a place called

Spiritualnetworks.com They are open to any path as long as the person is spiritual seeking and open to accept their sisters and brothers of all faiths.

There are definately buddhists on there even some Christians, and myself more in the pagan group. You can do a search for buddhism or buddhists or people who have posted anything to do with that and befriend them.
Keep searching online if you want a strictly Buddhist group. You might also do a facebook search for pages on Buddhism for they will post connections sometimes and many other helpful teaching things.

Good luck!

I seek the book of Thoth and would like to ask Thoth if I am allowed to read it; also I would like to find the book and interpret it, thanks.

I looked on line in a search and saw the Book of Thoth available for sale. It shouldn't be hard for you to get a copy.
I don't know where you got the idea that we must get permission to read about Thoth or to approach something of a spiritual relationship with Thoth or any other deity for that matter.
I believe that besides the one true source and center, that there are many creator sons of God, and Goddesses as well, and many different levels of Gods and other helping spiritual creatures including all the elemental spirits on the earthly realm and that even includes the fairy realm.
All countries have their own names for the same Gods, it matters not what you call the Deity you wish to follow, nor must you qualify to read or follow it. All these Gods are part of the same Universal spiritual realm and all are connected. If you have an affinity to connect with one in particular. If the God you study and follow teaches you to grow spiritually and your soul to evolve, that is good. Listen to your inner voice. It will tell you if a certain spiritual path is not the best one for you to take to learn the particular lessons you incarnated on earth to learn.

Good luck! And blessings to you

How do I now what totem or spirit is here with me that can help me. How can I commune with it?

My husband does astrology and no where in all his books have I seen anything about the birth date as an indicator of what a totem animal or animals would be. It is not related.

A totem animal choses you. A totem animal isn't like a brand name tennis shoe or necklace you can show off. If that were the case, it would be meaningless, just another thing you acquire to add to your collection of earthly things.

A totem animal is something you will become aware of once you are starting down a spiritual path in the seeking mode...wanting to know what your lessons to learn in life are. Once you are seriously going after that learning and spiritual growth, you will have times where a particular animal comes to you in dreams, daydreams or in some cases, in person. Most the big wild animals do not come across your path in person. It could also be something like browsing through a bookstore and a book about a particular animal kinda pops out at you or you hear a song about a certain animal and this same animal keeps on coming up.
BTW, it doesnt have to be an animal, it can also be all kinds of birds and bugs and insects.

I'll give you my story, it might help. I have the crow, dragonfly and ladybug as my totems. You may actually hear in your head a real conversation from your totem or like me, their showing up is bringing me a "heads up" or "alert" to pay attention and be looking for something.
When I see more crows than just the usual come across my path, it means they are telling me to clear my mind and concentrate to hear from God, spirit guides or angels. If I see a dragonfly, she is saying that a big change is coming into my life and to embrace it. A dragonfly always flys past me or lands on my finger when that is the case, even if I am no where near a water source where they seem to hang out. A lady bug always shows up to reassure me that what I have decided to do or the next step I have decided to take will work out fine that it will be blessed and I'll have good luck. Its nice to have those assurances in life. There are many sites online that talk about totem animals but not all will include birds and insects on their lists.
Good Luck!

21 f

my boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year now. we are pretty serious and we care a lot about each other. anyway! well i met his family about 3 months ago and i have been over about twice ever since. i don't really talk to his parents because they are always at work. his sister invite me to her daughters confirmation party (she is 9 years old) i have seen her about 2 times and barely poke to her, even though she is a nice girl. my question is should i go? and most importantly should i bring a gift? is it bad if i go to the family/friends party without a gift? i mean i barely know her. my bf already said its okay i do not need to bring one but i feel weird going without anything...if yes what should i bring?

thankyou for your time in advance.

If you and he were engaged and this was your future family, then you might want to try your best to attend family events and milestones like this that you are invited to. Other than that, there is no obligation to go.

If you and your boyfriend are serious enough that you both want to make each other your mate for life but the two of you don't like the legal marriage thing, then you would still be considered a couple who eventually with the passage of time become a common law marriage, then you are family and again it would be nice for you to attend.

Knowing someone on facebook does not constitute a real relationship. Don't worry about it, if your relationship continues to grow and you eventually do marry, there will still be plenty of events to attend and time to get to know each family member better. They will not hold anything against you. IN fact I guarantee it would not even occur to them odd that you are not there. If for some odd reason they are upset and offended that you are not there, that would be an indicator that you might want to think twice about getting married to him someday. Relatives like that can make your life miserable and affect your marriage.

Hi! My name is Jake. I'm in 8th grade, going into highschool next year. So, these a girl at my school that's extremely beautiful and nice and caring and she's got a great sense of humor. She's got a great smile, beautiful deep brown eyes and a beautiful figure as well. I began to like her about A year ago, and she didn't really know I existed until about 2 months ago. So I fell in love with her and I want to treat her right and be with her. But she likes one of my friends and I just can't stop thinking about her. Is there any ways I can get her to fall in love with me? She's really important to mead I want to date her, but I don't want to get rejected and ruin my friendship with her. Thanks or help :)

Hi Jake, just wondering what you were doing for the year that you liked her to let her know you liked her as more than just a classmate. You must have done something different the last 2 months if she finally discovered you existed. During these two months you fell in love with her by doing what...were you just hanging out with her along with other classmates. Just your presence in a group isnt enough to clue her in that you like her. You say she likes one of your friends. Have any idea what it is about him that attracts her attention. Usually the more shy, introverted, quiet people get overlooked and the more flamboyant, out going, extroverted people get the attention. That doesnt guarantee that the outgoing person necessarily likes all of the people of the opposite sex attracted to them. If you are a little shy, don't change who you are. Just be yourself but do talk to her and let her know how interested you are in her.
Attraction isnt always mutual. Although there is such a thing as falling in love at first site, most women like things in stages, first a friendship that grows stronger to the point you become sexual together and somewhere along that point, if you stll love everything about her, not just because she is pretty and you love sex, you let her know you love her. If you tell her that you love her, you will scare her away. As much as women want to be loved, If a guy says he loves you and knows next to nothing about her other than what he can see at school, then she will be very suspicious. Women come with a built in intuition and will pick up on things like this. The things you mention that you know about her, are things that every single girl and boy in school will also know about her just by observing her as you have. Are you sure you feel love and not lust. Hormones go crazy at your age. Not condemning you, just want you to be honest with yourself. If you still think its love, then you really need to start finding out more about her and the only way is to get closer to her as a friend. About rejection, It might help you if you put yourself in the other persons shoes. So,Think of a girl whose looks and personality you are not attracted to. She's a nice person, nothing wrong with her, you just aren't attracted. She comes up to you and asks you out to a dance where the girls get to ask. Can you force yourself to be attracted to her? Probably not. You'd have to say no in which case she will suffer from rejection. If you feel sorry for her and don't want to hurt her feelings so you say yes...that means you are giving her "false hope". That means she'll think you really like her. Do you still think that I or anyone else on here can tell you how to get her to fall in love with you?

21 f

hey guys! so i recently got netflix and i finished watching gossip girl and one tree hill. i fell in love with the shows so much that i watched the whole show in like 2 months! i know its bad haha. but anyway do you guys recommend another show i should watch that has friendships and romance kind of like gossip girl and one tree hill, i also watched pretty little liars (which i loveeee) and smallville. any other good shows out there? thank you!

btw i was thinking about vampire diaries but I'm not really into vampires and stuff.. but if you have seen it do you recommend it? what about 90210?

I can't help with the shows but I caught the part about your interest in romance and relationships.

I love good romance movies myself but Television is not a good source of reality info and helpful info on what real healthy relationship are like. Most the people you meet will have the relationships and friendships like you see on TV because they are copying what they see there, what they know from their parents relationships, and their parents were probably copying someone who didn't have a clue either.

Relationships are hard work. They aren't all fun and games. Do you really want to battle jealousy, girls stealing your guy, your guy being selfish, or abusive...it's all out there and too real.
If you want some very informative (not for entertainment) little video clips on everything regarding sex and relationships and gender based questions, please look up Lacigreen on Youtube. She has a channel there with about 155 videos and growing. She also has a facebook page. She is about your age. Fun to watch because of her funny expressions and silly joking but gets some very important info across to the viewer in a very short time 3 to 4 minutes each video. At least check it out and have some reality to go along with the entertainment.

Hello...i am 13 and i cut. well it stared over me being very stressed about my grades and thought i was going to fail 7th grade. i know i am smart and capable of being the best i can..i just let myself fall..i was in the shower one night and a broken razor used to shave your legs or whatever, was there. i herd people cut to relive pain...so me being a curious girl i did it..it felt good but than i started to freak out!! my wrists wouldnt stop bleeding...my mom and dad were out and my 17 year old brother (who i am very close with)was in his room and i had to tell someone. knowing he would understand i got out of the shower got dressed and ran into his room. i was crying and he asked me what was worng...i look at him with teary eyes and just flipped over my wrist. he started crying and pulled me into a tight hug. he said stuff like "you are so much better!" and "never feel like you have to hurt yourself!" and "your so beautiful and talented, why?" i didnt answer i just cried in his arms. soon when i felt better i tould him why i was depressed. and also my parents had been mad at me for my grades..so that too. also my grandmother who i was also very close too, had just passed away. my brother understood and was there to support. i asked him if he would promise to never tell my mom and dad and he promised. little did i know...he would break that promise. i went to bed because i just wanted to sleep from all the stress. later that night i guess my bro tould my parents when they got back. i was kind of half awake and half asleep when i heard my door open. my mom came and sat on my bed...took my hands from under my blanket and looked at my writst. she woke me up and started yelling and sceaming on how dumb i was to do that...my dad always agrees on everything my mom says so he just did the same thing...story short it caused a huuuuge shit storm between me and my mom...not so much my dad cause he was sort of calm. so i promised i would never do it again. now today at school i get called up to the office to see the couclier...i already knew what was coming. i was freaked out and crying the whole time. i stayed there for at least an hour or two, just venting. they said they would have to call my parents and let them know. i was sobbing begging them please not to tell...i tould them my mother would never look at me the same way again...i cut on my leg this second time btw. so they called in my bro. i tould him everything and we promised the school him and i would tell my parents tonight. it is 6:32 p.m. and i am scared to death..my mom thought i was crazy and mental the first time...and now the second...i am going to never be looked at the same by her...and that hurts...how should i approch them? please help....i am just a 13 year old girl who feels scared and alone...please....help. :(

You probably won't see this in time for the talk with the parents. But hopefully this will still help. I want your parents to read my response too. The fact that you have written in for advice shows that you really want things to be better and you need the help and support and most of all lots of love, not anger and yelling as you ALL together work to discover ways to help you get rid of the stress and do better in school and of course stop the cutting before it just becomes a nasty habit like smoking.
Your parents are so freaked out because they love, it's just their response that isn't the best it could be. I am not putting them down. I have raised 3 daughters, 2 who struggled at times in school yet they were intelligent. One after testing was found to not be at the grade level she was attending. She needed to go back a grade and the public schools wont do it for fear of damaging the childs psyche. Hah what a joke, so she is so stressed that she doesnt enjoy school anymore? The other daughter, had no problem with the teaching style, was just lazy. So I had a talk with her. Painted the scenerio for her and left the choice up to her. I told her that she needed to get her high school degree so either she had to buckle down and go with the program at high school or I would be okay with her leaving high school to go get her GED if she didn't enjoy all the stuff that comes with high school. She thought about and decided she'd miss out on too much fun stuff if she just went for a GED so she changed her attitude. There was a third choice, refuse to go for either of the other two choices and discover that there weren't many employers that would offer her a job without a high school degree and that she would likely end up homeless cus mom and dad won't be around forever. She didnt like that option.

First to give you a good perspective of where the parents are coming from: The hard fact of life is that when a child is born, it doesn't come with a training manual for the parents to know how to raise it. Each child is unique so the instructions that work for one kid isn't going to work on the next. That said, parents will do what they think is best. Here is a good analogy:
Lets say you have a fever and they are demanding that you do something to get ride of the fever. A fever is a symptom of what is wrong. You can't by yourself just make your fever go away by applying willpower. Nope, it takes tests by a doctor to find the underlying cause and then treat that before the fever will go away. If a fever is ignored, the condition gets worse and worse, infection grows.

That is exactly where you are at girl. The stress with your grades at school is the underlying cause. That stress has caused the "fever" which is your doing the cutting. So what is the "medication that will get rid of the school stress? You said you are smart, so it's not that. A counselor may be able to help uncover that for you and your parents. Often, students will unusually high IQ's will get bored with school because they are so far beyond what is being taught that they don't apply themselves. That could be your situation. Some specific testing will determine easily. The school counselors could advise your parents who the company is that tests for a students aptitude. Perhaps you just got lazy and its a good lesson to learn now in life as a young person before you are an adult as it has a heavier impact on whether you have a job and place to live then. You can see how quickly you can fall behind. One daughter was dangerously behind in middle school. In talks with her and teachers together, the teachers really wanted to do whatever helped to get her to pass her grade and yup, it was 7th grade. The middle school I had them in actually worked the kids harder than most the middle schools because even if the kids were at failing levels with grades, the push to work hard was training for high school. Tests had shown that the kids who were stressed a bit harder in middle school almost all got higher grades in the local high school than the kids who did not attend there. So they understood the importance of gaining some good study habits at that age. Having a cheering section may be all you need with teachers, and school counselors and parents and other relatives like your wonderful wonderful brother.
Actually, he instinctively gave you the best thing a person can do for someone under stress (which leads to depression) he pulled you into a tight hug. Bear hugs that last a long time do much for raising the NT's neuro transmitters in your brain which are responsible for producing the hormones that keep us at a stress free level. The body is able to produce these naturally and dont need meds from a doctor to do so. One of the ways it is released and increased in the body is through hugging. There are other ways too I'd love to share another time. Right now there needs to be some positive talks between you and the parents. If your parents won't read my response, show it to your brother and see if you can get an aunt or uncle to read this. You need other family who can speak to your parents to get them to start working on this without scaring the crap out of you and yelling or threatening.
And remember, if the parents did not care about you, they wouldn't react at all. They love you.
I stress that you get others to be willing to work with you in a different way than they are going at it now because this way will only drive you deeper into despair and the depression so overwhelming that cutting may not be enough and you contemplate suicide. We don't want you to get anywhere near that. That's why I want you to get all the support you can. Let me know if you can how things go. And give your brother a hug for me. BTW, I cried really hard when I read your letter...If I could be there, I would give you a loving hug.

all my mom's side of the family lives in Oklahoma . I will talk to the pastor on wednsday

Oh that makes me so happy to hear it. I was so worried. You see, I have a daughter your age and I know how hard it would be for her to do something like what I what adviced you to do. Reaching out for help is actually harder than it sounds, silly isn't it? All else I can say is I am proud of you. You go girl! Blessings to you and may your angels comfort you through these hard times.

There's this girl I've had a crush on for a long time and she's extremely beautiful,smart,silly and awesome I could go on forever about how amazing she is. I think she knows I like her because some of my friends told her I stare at her. So she winks at me stares at me and teases me when our eyes meet. So one day I was at her locker and she just looked into my eyes and kissed me. We were kissing for about 5 seconds when she pulled back,then came in for round two. I had my hands on her waist and we started making out and then she ran of crying. She won't talk to me anymore and I'm really confused on what the craps going on. Are we friends? Are we in a relationship? What's going on?

Hold on buddy, it aint a relationship until both of you have talked and agreed to have some sort of relationship.

I am confused too about her actions. The only way to know is to talk to her. She has winked at you and came after you first for the kiss. Your mind could come up with dozens of scenerios and they all be wrong.
Not sure what your age is but whether you are middle school or high school. Somewhere in that age range is where young people experiment with sex.
If she hasn't yet, it could be she thinks it is so important to do that she decided on who she wanted.
Remember I am just guessing here. Your guess is a good as mine. So lets say she got enough guts to make the first move...with the kissing of you.
Why would she run away crying? If you have not left out any information and it went down as you said, I can say, It wasn't because of you but something going on in her head.

Maybe she got upset with herself because she wants the attention of a boy and thought sex is the only way to get it and then decided that she wasn't quite ready yet to push for such a relationship with a boy and so she got scared, cried and ran away. Or she could have had some idea in her head as to what a kiss should feel like and when it didn't, she got upset.

So man, you won't know til you ask her. There's a good bet that she wants a friendship with you. My guess is she also wants you to like her for more than how pretty she is and you do. So tell her. Yes it's scary to start but once you start, the uncomfortable feeling should go away and your conversation flow naturally.

What do you tell her? Start with some of the things you listed for me. Don't start with how beautiful she is, you can add that at the end. You see, it's a given that a guy starts looking at a girl, it is because he finds her attractive. Everyone has their own tastes in what they naturally like. Just because you are not attracted to other girls doesn't make them unattractive...some other guy will think the other girls hot. But she needs to know how much you like her. You want to build a friendship with her first. Doing special things together. Once the two of you get more comfortable with each other, then the natural step to showing your affection goes a step deeper, having sex. Don't have sex just cus of your hormones are going crazy. Girls have this uncanny thing called intuition built into them. They will know if the sexual attention is out of you wanting to please and love her or if it is cus yourself selfish and just want to gratify your desires. In fact if you do feel aroused and want her, let her know thats how you feel but that you are going to leave it up to her if, and when and BE OK with that. If that kind of attraction or chemistry isn't there for the step beyond friendship, then all she is , is a friend, not a deep relationship. And you will owe it to yourself to move on.

The reason I gave you some pointers for how to handle dating her and went beyond answering your question is that I have a strong feeling you two will become good friends if not something more.

Hello everyone! I'm 15/f

There's this boy in my class who LOVES to make fun of me (Let's name him K), or just be straight up rude to me. I used to think he really hated me, but now I'm really not sure....

Let me explain:
He finds times when I'm singing to myself, and he tells me to shut up (to no avail of course) and I tell him how unsuccessful that will be, but he keeps doing so until I feel like stopping.
He makes fun of anything clumsy or stupid that I do.
Any conversation I'm in (I have a low undertone in my voice, so I'm loud when I talk to my friends) he buts in and tells me why he thinks I'm wrong.
I'm a very annoying person (unintentionally), so whenever I do anything that he thinks is annoying, he has to make a comment on it.
He says things like, "Oh no, why is she here?" when I walk into a room, or conversation, or anything like that, that he's in.
He looks at me a lot (thank you, peripheral vision) & I don't know what that's about, to be honest.

But here's the one thing that got me confused:
K knows about my crush. (J) So one day when K & another boy (G) in my class were talking about how a guy that was sitting with them at lunch that day (Curl) had exactly the same hair as my crush's from behind (big bushy, curly hair) and as I sat down, they asked me about it. I told them that his hair didn't really move as much as Curl's did. A split second later I regretted it because both of them were looking at me and G said, "Wow, of course she knows all of that, she likes him!" And then I felt my eyes widen. G says, "she still does!" And then K was about to say, "Yeah, ever since the beginning of the year," but he only said "Yeah, ever since the begin--" and one look at my blushing embarrassed face, stopped him. And he started to blush himself, and kept apologizing to me. The same boy who argues with me everyday, makes fun of me (not like a bully though, don't worry) and is annoyed by me, is being nice to me! He just keeps apologizing & when I look at him, I can see how bad he feels. The whole rest of the period, he didn't ask me for help like he usually does.

My friends keep telling me that since he bothers me a lot, it means he likes me. Is that true? I don't think so...

What do you think? Thanks to all who answer, you are all amazing! I thank you all in advance!

I expect the teasing and bugging a girl to be signs that a boy might like a girl but usually if he's a bit younger like 10 to 13. But I suppose a guy at 15 could still be acting like a child.
Maybe his intent is to tease you. But I can say for sure that what comes out of his mouth are comments that belittle you, put you down. talk demeaning to you (intended to make a person or thing seem of little importance or value)

You have been watching him closely. It would seem that the last incident when he didn't finish his comment and blushed does mean something. You won't know what it really meant until the two of you really talk...no hinting at things, no gushy feelings talk, no belittling of you.

Best way to find out more is to ask. If you want good attention from him but not the kind you are getting, tell him.

Like, "I need to tell you something. When you said 'blah blah blah' about me yesterday, it did not make me feel very good. It hurts my feelings. Maybe you think what you are saying is just normal talk but it isn't. If you want to talk normal with me, I would love to talk with you. I like you as a classmate and I would love to have you as a close friend too, but for that to happen you need to treat me better." And see where it goes. You will say it in your own words...thats just an example. Don't ever just "take it" when someone doesnt treat you right. Sometimes a person can be really dense in their brain but sometimes there is something really wrong with the person and over time they will get worse. Did you know that one out of every four teen girls in a dating relationship is being physically abused,, beaten by their boyfriend. You're a smart girl though...I know by how closely you observe things...you will do good. Blessings!

So, I'm just one of those women that has completely lost my sex drive due to my pregnancy. I feel horrible about it because I love my husband and want to show my love, but the only way I feel like doing that is by affection like flirting, kissing, hugging, etc. Every once in awhile I'll force myself to have sex with him just to please him. Now I'm 38 weeks and all that pressure from the baby has made my vagina extra sore. And it's gotten tighter and more painful to have sex. My nausea has come back and I also have bad heartburn. So I don't feel like giving oral sex either, which I used to love doing. Does he care that it's painful for me? Or that my gag reflex is all of a sudden super active? No. He says he understands, but obviously not because he makes sure to make me feel like absolute s**t when I tell him I honestly don't feel like having sex. If I force myself to he'll keep going even if he sees that it hurts me or I'm not enjoying it and only stop when I'm on the verge of tears. I'm so incredibly uncomfortable, I'm literally about to pop any day now. He makes me cry sometimes because of how bad he makes me feel about it. He says he wishes I wasn't pregnant/regrets getting me pregnant because I'd still have my sex drive if I wasn't. Which made me feel even worse because I interpreted that as him caring more about sex than our child inside of me. I thought that was kind of immature and selfish. What do you guys think? Am I over-analyzing and a being a b**ch for not feeling like having sex, or is he being an a**hole for making me feel horrible about it? I feel like he should be more understanding and supportive..

I echo the suggestion...you will need to see a counselor. You are not in a good position for if counseling doesnt improve things, you have a newborn to deal with as well as contemplating the end of the relationship.

We can hope for miracles. But people do not change that fast. I was married to a heartless person, 30 years because after the first child I was afraid to leave. Then I had 2 more and was really stuck. He never went for counseling and I was verbally abused worse and worse and time went on and btw, sexually mismatched as well. My only regret is I didnt leave sooner.

Your guy sounds very selfish and immature. If you were not pregnant, this behavior would eventually crop up elsewhere in the relationship. Or maybe it was already there and You have been denying it to yourself as I did. Don't make excuses for him.

You deserve to have a man who worships you as the Goddess you are, you who brings forth life into the world, the creative force on this planet.
And think of the child, if he is really resenting the fact its on the way, how will he treat it as a child growing up...definately not the best it could be and your child could end up with emotional problems or behavioral problems if Dads treatment of him/her were severe enough for the childs psyche. So sorry to hear this.
You are not in the wrong. He is the a**hole

I use body wash to clean down there and shave it but when I get out and look at my vagina, it looks red and irritated. It looks kind of dry as if it has goosebumps too, is there any way to prevent this? Anything like a certain waxing kit so you can't see the little hairs that still stick out and something good for cleaning your vagina that will moisturize and make it look fresh clean and not red? The reason why I am asking this is because I am sexually active and it doesn't seem like my partner has been satisfied with how my vagina is lately so I need lots of good advice for this.

No soap or anything but water. Inside the vagina is its own ecosystem and that is upset easily by washing away good bacteria. You need to look up a young gal on Youtube Lacigreen... She has 156 videos all sex related. Her interest started at age 10--library books. She got the video's going, after Planned parenthood suggested she do it. She gives you straight on correct information and Watch her video on Dirty Vagina's. Theres a good one about labia too. Even relating to guys.

Since you are trying to remain hairless, all the fussing down there to remove hair is going to irritate the skin. However, when you say it looks like goosebumps I chuckled cus thats a perfect description for the pores the hairs used to be. Your skin will always look like goosebumps dear. Only the labia have a different texture.

BTW you don't need to moisturize your private parts, your body does that naturally. Again I highly recommend you watch Lacigreen and pass her on to your friends. I guarantee they will benefit from her videos as well.

my love failure i am going to suicide

Let me get this straight, you want to commit suicide cus you feel you're a failure as a lover?

And THATS a reason for Suicide?
If you're serious call a crisis center but I want you to know in my book...that's not a good reason for Suicide. There never is a good enough reason.

If it really was a good reason, then every person who fails to get the job position they applied for should commit suicide. Every student who failed to get an A on an exam, should commit suicide, everyone who has ever sung Kareoke and failed to do so without their voice cracking or squeaking is a failure and should commit suicide, the cook who created a souffle that fell instead of staying risen, is a failure as a cook and should commit suicide. Shall I go on?

Life is filled with disappointments. These struggles are there for a reason but not to prove we can do perfectly the first time around. It is in the lifelong struggles that we learn and grow and get better.

Perhaps you are a perfectionist? That is not a good trait to have. For if you did get to the point that you thought you were perfect as a lover, you still would never be able to find a woman who is perfect enough for you. Always searching, never satisfied.

Perhaps what you seek can not be found in the greater world around you. Perhaps it can only be found within. If you can find inner peace...you will no longer worry about the disappoints life brings your way.

If you do not follow any spiritual path right not, I highly recommend you seriously give that a chance. It matters not which one you choose, just that you are relying on a higher source or power to help light your way.

Good luck.

Hi, just a warning that this dream I had was a bit gruesome, it involved random wounds appearing on my arms.
I searched the internet and all I could find was what it means when you have someone giving you wounds in your dream(like cutting you with a knife), but thats not what happened in my dream.

I just had these sores/wounds appearing on my arm randomly, they were pretty gross, like if you could imagine the skin decomposing away, or getting acid on your arm or something. The skin would kind of tear away in layers until the muscles were torn too and it was like a hole. I could see into the muscles in my arm. Some of the wounds had weird stuff in them and one had foam come out of it when I looked in it. In my dream I kept looking into them really far until all I saw was the inside of my arm, even though it was gross and I didn't want to. There wasn't any blood or bone at all, just weird muscle and skin and random stuff (like if you could imagine a bunch of bacterial circles that grow in petri dishes but bigger and stuck to the torn muscles)

They didn't hurt (I usually feel pain in dreams but not this time), I felt really worried about them, and I kept showing them to people and they didn't care. I kept asking "is there something wrong with me?" and saying "This isn't good" But no one thought that there was something wrong with having gross wounds appear on your arms.

That's about it, any suggestions as to what this means would be appreciated, I am pretty confused. Also I am a 19 year old female.

Our skin has the job of protecting our body from germs that could get in and harm us.
Simply put, since your skin is under attack from something that is really destroying your tissues, it likely points at the feeling that there is a lack of protection or more to the point feeling a lack of security, feeling vulnerable.
At your age, this could come from leaving home and setting up your own life whether in college or not and all that comes with it. Perhaps you've been okay with it for a while but the pressures are starting to add up. There is a certain amount of secure feeling in being at home with parents taking care of most of your needs.
Or what other changes or new things have come into your life that could possibly be making you feel vulnerable or scared. Often your subconscious, which is like the inner-child, only has this way to communicate to your conscious self. You may not have been consciously aware of something that could stress you in this way but she is surely aware of it. If the dream doesnt not repeat and you can't figure it out, I wouldn't be concerned. If it repeats, you may want to ask your sub..like talking aloud to yourself and while wide awake, the answers pop directly into your head...at least thats how it works for me.

I think i am Bisexual but i don't know. I have kissed a girl multiple times, And the same person. But i am only 11 and i don't know what i should do! My mom asks if i am.. But i just say "Nope i'm Straight" The good thing is, If i she wont care. Because she has Lesbian friends and loves them like a sister too! I just want to know..

Some people may think that because mom has lesbians friends whether she is also or not could have influence on you. That isn't the case. You must realize that mom is going to be a great open-minded person to talk to through all of puberty and dating and relationships ahead. Most kids your age don't have a parent they can talk to freely about anything, contraceptives, sex toys, how you wonder if a certain behavior from someone you know is sexual advances...etc. If mom is asking you, she doesnt want to make a judgement about you. I suggest that you eventually talk to her.

Right now with just kissing, that's normal curiousity, experimenting which you are more likely to do than most girls since mom has lesbian friends. What is openly discussed or going on at home will have it's impact on you even if its not directly at you in conversation or actions.

There is such a thing as a female being able to look at another female and just keep looking because she is so beautiful perfectly shaped. I have done that many times. Same as you viewing a beautiful multi colored sunset or a so-so sunset. That is not being bi. If when I see that body my mind starts imagining what her breasts feel like and crave to touch them, and have her kiss me, and want to do more with her...that is being bi sexual. It's not so much wondering what it might be like as it is really wanting to do it.

To be bi-sexual and know it means you have felt sexually turned on by thoughts of both guys and gals. If it's only gals, thens its lesbian, if only guys you are straight. Don't put yourself in a box yet and label yourself just one thing. You have lots of life experiences before you yet before you will have a good idea of what works best for you.
If you do start a convo with mom let her know you answered straight but that you really don't know and want to know but not be forced to go one way...just learn on your own. And ask if its okay to ask her questions sometimes.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I am graduating high school in June,and he has a very successful job. We've had our fair share of hardships, but they just never get solved, really. We'll talk about it, and then we'll be better equally for a few weeks or even months, and then it's back in our fighting cycle. I bottle my feelings up because I don't want to hurt him if something serious comes up, he walks away during fights, gets aggressive, and jumps to conclusions, twisting my words up into his own form.

For a while, we both stopped being so irritated with each other, but of course, like always, it came back. I've also noticed lately he seems uninterested in me. It was my birthday, so he took me out to eat, and it was a romantic dinner. But after that, he stopped doing the little things he normally does. He no longer seems happy to see me, calls me beautiful, or makes me feel special. I'm at a depressing point in my life with all this pressure of graduating, family life, and everything else going on. I feel alone, suicidal, and destructive. I feel distant and like we're just friends because he doesn't do anything special for me anymore. I have adjusted my attitude and life to make him happy...why can't he do that for me? I'm giving and giving and he's just taking. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just takes my honesty too seriously and stomps away. He always pouts when I don't run after him, but this has become so tedious since we fight so much...and I feel we're past that point in our relationship. Someone please help...I'm going to let go of him if this doesn't get fixed...

Oh my goodness...where to start. There is so much you don't know yet about the differences between men and women in how they work through things, what are mature ways to work through issues, what is an example of a healthy relationship, responding vs reacting, how to relate to humans period. Not just guys you are dating., Chemistry or lack of it, different personality styles, the list goes on.

The reason you don't know these things yet is partly due to your age. When I was your age, I did not have years of life experience yet either. But that road is called the school of hard knocks. Looks like thats what you are experiencing right now. The way to speed up your learning experience is through head knowledge. I recommend that you do lots of studying and reading...good books on how to compromise, how to understand the opposite sex...etc. Head knowledge though isn't always easy to put into practice but you will at least be better equipped by having some constructive knowledge and ideas. I get it across to you, I have to write you a book right now.

You have some preconcieved idea's of how a relationship is supposed to work. And worse yet, you have some preconcieved ideas of what a healthy relationship is. Right now, you are not in a healthy relationship. I think your inner voice already knows the answer. Time to let him go. Then focus on getting some education from books first. Don't know if you're religious, but if you have a higher power you believe in, whether Jesus, Goddess, Buddha or just guardian angels, asking for guidance there is a good thing to start now in life. I did at your age. And it has served me well. Some of my best decisions in life were with the help of Spirit. The creator knows you better than anyone and certainly more than I can guess to even give more construct advice. You will be talking one way it will seem for months maybe years before your mind learns how to hear back from the source. Good luck sweetie. Sorry I cant give you anything precise..it really wouldn't help.

I need an EFFICIENT and rather quick way to commit suicide.
Please save the preaching, my mind is made up. I just don't want to end up as a vegetable, or a burden.

The other columnist is right that no one is going to tell you how to kill yourself.

I used to work with physically ill, depressed and sometimes suicidal people helping them in their home and was trained a bit on what to look for. One of the ways a person who is feeling suicidal acts is to write a letter. Every letter states that they ARE going to commit suicide so don't bother. There are patterns the people always have. The ones who actually end their lives did not send the letter or leave it somewhere where someone could find it ahead of time. The others send to letter to someone, perhaps a care crisis agency, an email to someone or a note to this column.

If you are willing to delay just in the "slightest chance" that there might be something that helps you feel better, then read on for a bit.

Are you still with me??? Okay, I have found that depression goes hand in hand with suicide.

You know what depression is. But do you know what changes take place in your brain that cause your mind to be depressed? Your brain needs certain levels of NT's Neurological transmitters at proper levels for your mind to be able to think clearly to make good decisions not matter how difficult what we face in life. The NT's are hormones called Serotonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin. What Doctors do is to introduce drugs that help your brain create these hormones but our brains are capable of producing them on our own. When these levels are dangerously low, we lose capacity to deal with hardships, illness, ridicule, etc.. and see no way out of our maze even if there is one or possibly several avenues of real help. Some of the fastest ways to get those levels up naturally are through hugging therapy. People today do not receive even one genuine hug per day let alone the minimum four to barely function normally. Eight or more are recommended. Okay, I know this sounds silly but it works if it is not the hug where you barely embrace as if the person has dirty clothes or is ill This ineffective hug lasts only a second or two with a brief pat or two on the back. Nope, we're talking big bear hugs that last 10 seconds for it to have effect on raising those NT levels.

So here is what I propose :

Try, I mean really try hugs for a week straight and at the end, if your outlook isn't feeling even a tiny bit better, then go ahead with your plan but you won't have help from us with suggestion how. To get hugs, you will need to give hugs. Total strangers like at a mall. Make a sign that says "Free hugs". Not everyone will approach you, but everyone needs hugs. It doesnt matter if the hugger or huggee is elderly, young, male, female, or wheelchair bound. Try to put on an act cus i KNOW you won't feel like it until you get into it. Smile and sometimes say, Would you like a free hug even though the sign says so. What time is your free time, go. Every day, weekdays and weekends, the longer you do it and the more hugs you get, the better you are bound to feel. Even with strangers, we are still all God creation and as such a greater family as humans. So a certain level of love is unknowingly transferred between two huggers. They may not feel it at the time but they will as that love starts the body producing serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. And that begins to ease depression. Depression is depressed amounts of NTs. But you must be able to force yourself to do this, 7 days straight. Try to get the eight or more hugs.

Watch "Free Hugs" on youtube searches.

If you find people don't want you giving hugs out in public, try the retirement/nursing homes. The elderly are lonely, need to feel love and more likely to be open to receiving hugs.
If it doesn't work for you, at the very least, you will have cheered someone else life before you decide to go. If you decide to try my challenge, I would like to hear back how it went for you.
It won't have changed what caused you to become so depressed to begin with but you may have found new ways to deal with it.

Heey everyone! :) Im 14/f and Im trying my hardest to get a tight stomach and a bigger thigh gap. So what are some great exercises for this? My thigh gap is about 1cm wide but I want it to be atlead 2 or 3. So, does anyone know some myracle exercises? Im willing to work my hardest to get this but I need good exercises! :) Thankss!

Much will depend on your natural bone structure whether there will be some, much or no gap between the thighs. If you are concerned about specific sizes of gaps...I hope you aren't going to go overboard and become anorexic.

But either way, there are some things you will not ever be able to change about your looks. Learn to be happy with your body. You might not be a guys first choice at this age but the girls who are, usually find the guy only wanted them for sex, not because he liked their personality.

At 14, your body is not done growing. Your body will continue to change into your twenties.
Guys for example have bodies that keep changing and maturing even up til age 30 or so.
My husband had a hairless body for example as a young man and didn't begin growing body hair til into his 30's, now he's hairy like a sasquatch. Not kdding.
Exercise at any age is healthy for us. So I do encourage you to find a form of exercise you enjoy and will stick with and then enjoy life and someday you will have a man who loves you just as you are. What I mean is, things like coloring my hair cus it was starting to get silver strands. He told he he much prefers my naturally changing hairs, its beautiful to him. My ex wished I had bigger chest. My current husband loves the exact shape and size of mine. You will know some day girl, who the right guy is, when that guys eyes are smoldering with passion for you even when you aren't dolled up for him(eyes can't lie) and his greatest wish is to please you, more than being satisfied himself. Don't ever change who your are for some guy. If you do anything, have it be something you want to do.

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