about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I just got on birth control because of my period. I was wondering if any of you have been put on it and it DIDNT' help lighten your period and make it shorter? For those who have, was it a dramatic difference? Anything else I should know?

I was on the pill for 9 years and just recently went off of it. I found through the years that for the most part my period was noticeably lighter and a little shorter. I usually only bled 2-3 days with a very light flow and no cramping while on the pill.

There were a few pills that I've been on that did the reverse, giving me a heavier flow and more cramping, but I just switched to a different pill and it straightened it out. You just have to experiment to find the right pill for you. Common side effects are heavier flow, more cramping, headaches, and moodiness. If you have side effects from a pill, just talk to your gyno and have them switch you to another brand. Give the new pill about 3 months before changing so you can be sure the side effects won't clear up on their own.

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This guy I like asked me out...but my best friend used to be just ga-ga over him so I thought he was off limits. Then I talked to my friend and said it was ok and we've been going out for a little while...my friend tells me all these things about him and how much of a guy he is (if ya know what I mean) but I figure he can show me who he is better than anyone else can tell me right? Well, anyways, everybody keeps warning me about him but as far as I can see, there's absolutely nothing wrong with him...I really like him and he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that's...ya know...a guy...but how do I ever tell for sure wether he just wants some or really cares about me?

16/f

You won't really know until he tries to get in your pants. Just tell him up-front that you want to take things slow. If he really cares about you, he shouldn't have a problem with that. If he gets mad or tries to change your mind, then you'll know that he was just interested in what's between your legs.

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Okay so my boyfriend and I had sex. And now I am worried that I may be pregnant. I won't know for a few more weeks however. I thought i had pregnancy symptoms like I was really hungry, tired, and bitchy but then I was thinking about it and I get like that a week before I get my period. However I heard that even if you get your period that you could still be pregnant. I thought that was completely wrong but I am not sure. So can you be pregnant even if you get your period? I know you start spotting if your pregnant but your period and spotting are different. SO someone please help me out.

Yes you can get pregnant while on your period but the chance is pretty small. Some women also still get their periods (just like they usually do) while pregnant. If the symptoms continue after your period comes or your period doesn't come, I would get a home pregnancy test or see a doctor about a pregnancy test.

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I've had an eating disorder for lets say longer than a year. (anorexia) I finally got over it this summer. I'm worried about school though and how my friends will react because i wasn't eating lunch all last year. Will they make a big deal out of it and will i end up starting it ALL OVER AGAIN????? I RATE HIGH

Chances are they won't even notice. If they do and say something, either tell them about your eating disorder or try a little half truth "I was dieting last year but now I'm not."

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so i asked something similar to this yesterday but everyons answers sucked! so i'm asking it again but a bit different: alright i have sims 2 bodyshop already but i dont know how to use it. and the page that tells you how to requires you to have adobe acrobat installed on the computer so could someone please send me either the instructions to how to work it or tell me how you use it

You can get a free download of Adobe Acrobat at the link below.
http://www.download.com/3000-2378-10000062.html

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Okay, first off, I'm one to listen to advice and take it, but usually what I end up choosing lies within me. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I know I should follow my heart, I just want to know what YOU would do if you were me. The question is going to be kind of long, sorry.:]

I was born in Singapore, and basically for half my life I've been shuffling between Toronto and Singapore living and studying with either my mom or my dad. I came back to Toronto again in November of 2003, and I guess you can say I was not happy about leaving Singapore. The reason me and my brothers are here is so that we have an easier access to university in the future, but I feel so sick here, as if there is no meaning to my life, nowhere I'm heading, at least in Singapore, they force feed you to do well in school and as sad as that sounds, I felt as if I was going somewhere. I had plenty of friends and I was happy.

Now I haven't been back to Singapore for 1 1/2 years, and everyday my mom is saying how I've turned into this..mentally depressed person. She said that she wont force me to stay here. The question is, should I stay here until I finish my university studies, or go back to Singapore and study until Grade 11, and come back for Grade 12 and university? The problem is, my little brother wants to stay, and we have a lot of family problems, I kind of want to protect him. I don't want him to have to grow up the way I did. If I go back to Singapore, I will learn a lot more education-wise and feel challenged, I will finally be around my family again, and it's not as if I can never come back to Toronto. If I stay in Toronto, I'll be able to protect my brother, I'll have an easier life, but it just feels meaningless. After all, it's not liek I can never come back to Toronto again, but I'm afraid, once I make my choice, I cannot turn back. I can't go back to Singapore and try it for 1 month or so, it is too expensive. I have to stay there until University. If I stay here, I can't help but think "what if?" I just feel so dreadful, it's as if all my happiness was sucked out of me the minute I left Singapore. What would you do?

I understand wanting to protect your little brother but I think you should go back to Singapore. Obviously you're miserable in Toronto so staying is just going to drag you down. You won't be able to help your brother if you can't help yourself. He also needs to learn how to protect himself. If you do it for him all the time, he'll never learn how to protect himself and always come to you to solve his problems. I think that's one of the hardest things that an older sibling has to learn. I'm the oldest of three so I completely understand your feelings.

Go to Singapore and get a good education. Letters, phone calls, and instant messaging will keep you close while you're gone so he doesn't feel like you've abandoned him to the situation. Once you get a good education, you'll be in a better position to help your brother. Perhaps he can even move in with you if things are still bad once you start into University.

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Hi NCblondie,
Im a 17 year old female.Today is Saturday and Tuesday i am getting together with this guy to go on a date (lunch, and shopping *his idea) I was wondering (its my first date with him and its during the day) should it just be me and him or do you think it is okay to bring along my younger sister and her boyfriend. I am really nervous and any other 1st date tips you give will help alot.
Thanks!

Hi.

I would ask him before showing up with your sister and her boyfriend. If he doesn't mind, I see no reason why you shouldn't take her. It may help avoid that first date awkwardness where you don't have anything to talk about since there will be four of you. It'll also show him you're into family.

When my husband I were dating, my sister often went out with us. He appreciated the fact that I had a strong sense of family. Also since he got along with her, it made our relationship much easier.

It's natural to be nervous on your first date so don't worry. Chances are he's just as nervous about this date as you are, so relax.

I would go for a dressy casual outfit, maybe jeans and a nice blouse. Just go with what you're comfortable in and still look nice. Smile and make plenty of eye contact.

Think of a couple subjects before-hand that you can talk about so you're not at a loss for words. Common interests are always a good place to start.

Relax and enjoy yourself. I'm sure it'll turn out fine. Good luck and congratulations on your first date.

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Me and my friend have been like sisters ever since we were 11 years old...we are 18 years old now. We have been through alot together and are closer than we've ever been to anyone else in our entire lives. But none of my friends really like her and i think its because they see something that i dont. they see that shes not really a real friend as they like to say. she is constantly disappearing for days at a time and getting me worried and then calling up and saying she went down to her old neighborhood, where she is up to no good down there. anyways, she was with one of my other close friends for about a month...but the entire relationship was crap. she was never there for him, never really called him, was ditching him all the time, and so on. she finally got the courage to tell him she'd rather just be friends, but all the times she ditched him, me and him would chill. me and him have been friends for about 4 years. now, we confessed feelings for eachother. she was fine with it and didn't care at all since she says she "never really like him" in the first place...she just felt bad breaking up with him. but just last night, she flipped out on me and him saying were "low" and dirty for doing this to her because her and him "just broke up". she said she thinks im just trying to get back at her for things she did to me in the past. it has nothing to do with that! we just want to be happy...and we've always had feelings for eachother but just never said it until recently...but now, i dont know what to do.

ps. i just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years ago last month because he didn't treat me right and we've been through so much pain and i couldnt take it anymore.(me and my friends ex said that we are taking it VERY slow and being friends for now until were both ready to start a relationship...and this guy is amazing ..everything i want..if that helps at all)

Since your friend already said she didn't mind, I don't understand why she's bashing you now for it. If her friendship is that much to you, I would talk to her or leave the guy alone. If the friendship isn't that much to you anymore, go for what makes you happy.

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how do you get a yeast infection?

A yeast infection is usually just when you get too much yeast and it takes over. The body normally has some yeast. Try drinking lots of water, eating yogurt with active cultures, wear cotton breathable underwear, and avoid tight fitting clothes to prevent it.

If you already have it, either go to your doctor or run to the store to pick up an over the counter yeast infection treatment. Monistat, Vagistat and Gyne-Lotrimin are good ones and they offer you a variety of treatments so you can choose which one you prefer, usually either a cream or suppository.

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i have a boyfriend that ive been on and off again all summer long and i think that i finally realize that he is using me and he doesnt really care about me, and yesterday he kept getting in my pants and i kept telling him not to and he seemed mad at me and kept doing it,i think its time for us break up,wat do u think??

I think you should break up. Since he's just trying to get in your pants, and you don't want him to but he does anyway, it shows a severe lack of respect for you. Dump this jerk and find someone who likes you for who you are, not what you have between you legs.

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for years i've been seeing these "gray swirls".. esp. when i get out of the shower, but other times too. i cant see anything except these gray swirls. kind of like when your tv isn't working? know what i mean? i get really dizzy when this happens and it lasts a few seconds and i cant see anything. ive gone to doctors and they like im crazy. my regular doctor told me to go to an eye doctor and i did, and they thought i was crazy. i want to look it up on the internet and stuff, but what do i search.. "gray swirls" haha that wont work.. whatever.. im probably just dying or something.

does anyone else have this or know what it is?
thanks.

It could be a sign of dehydration or even a neurological condition. Go to your doctor again and see if they'll run some tests and maybe refer you to a neurologist. If they refuse to believe you or say it's all in your head, find another doctor who will listen to you.

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ok i think im fat because i hav a BIG gut like the bottom of my stomach sticks out....i HATE it and the other night i was crying because i thought i was fat and ugly i want to look skinny it doesnt matter if my stomach sticks out just a little bit but i wwant my gut gone. O ya i hav diabetes so its a little harder for me to lose weight. PLease help i rate!

First off with diabetes you can lose weight. You just can't use the regular diets most people follow. Since I don't know the extent of your diabetes or if you're on insulin, it's a little difficult to make a diet plan.

I would suggest following a low-carb, high-protein diet. That's the diet my dad was put on. He lost weight and stabilized his sugar levels. You can still have some carbs so don't go overboard with it. Try switching to whole-wheat or multi-grain bread instead of white or whole grain pastas instead of the normal ones. Reduce your intake of fat some. Try leaner cuts of meat or switch to chicken or fish. Talk to your doctor about a weight-loss program that won't interfere with your diabetes.

Exercises specifically for your abdomen will also help it shrink. I'm including a few here for you to try.

Leg Lower and Lift
Lie on your back with your hands behind your head and your legs extended and lifted directly over your hips, perpendicular to the floor. Point your toes toward the ceiling, turn your feet out slightly, and lift your head, looking between your thighs. This is the starting position. Inhale while lowering your legs toward the floor about 6 inches (don't arch your back). Exhale while lifting them back up. Begin with four reps, and work up to eight.

Back Extension
Lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides, palms up. Place your forehead on the floor. Keep looking down as you contract your back muscles and lift your torso off the floor, lengthening through the top of your head and reaching through your hands back toward your feet. Pause, then lower. Do six reps.Now, extend your arms overhead so your palms rest on the floor in front of you (like Superman flying). With your upper body still and your legs slightly apart, lengthen and lift both legs as high as comfortably possible. Pause, then lower. Do six reps.

Pelvic Tilts
Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Pulling your abs in, press the small of your back into the floor so that your pelvis tilts upward. (This is a very small movement; your buttocks should not come more than an inch off the floor.) Hold for about three seconds and then slowly release. Do 8 to 12 of these at least three times a week.

Hip Lift
Lie on your back with your arms by your sides, palms facing up. Raise your legs so they are straight up toward the ceiling and perpendicular to your torso. Pull your navel toward your spine and lift your hips a few inches off the floor, keeping your legs pointed straight up. Then slowly lower your hips back to the floor. Do two sets of 10 to 12 repetitions, with a 1-minute break in between.

Torso Twist
Sit on the floor with your knees bent and feet flat, about hip-width apart. Extend your arms straight in front of you, and lace your fingers. Tighten your abdominal muscles and lean back about 45 degrees toward the floor. With your abs taut, rotate your torso toward the right as far as comfortably possible. Be sure to move your upper body (head, shoulders, arms, chest, and abs) in unison; don't lead with your arms. You should be looking in the same direction your hands are pointing throughout the move. Hold, then return to center and twist to the opposite side. That's one rep. Do two sets of 10 to 12 repetitions, with a 1-minute break in between.

Frog
Lie on your back with your knees bent and to the sides and with the bottoms of your feet touching. Rest your head back into your fingertips, keeping your elbows out to the sides. Exhale as you pull your abs toward your spine and curl your hipbones and ribs toward one another, raising both feet and shoulders off the floor. Inhale as you lower. Repeat.

Double-Leg Stretch
Lie on your back with your knees pulled in toward your chest. Rest your hands just below your knees and inhale as you use your abs to raise your shoulders off the floor. Exhale as you press your arms and legs out, making sure to engage and move from your abs. Extend through your fingertips and toes, as shown. Inhale as you bring your knees back toward your chest and your arms back toward your knees. Repeat five to eight times.
















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ok my guy friend that i like a lot we are goin to hook up soon but i need to find a way out of the house... he wants to talk to my mom and tell her if she can drop me off at the mall to see him but i am scared to let him talk to her. i know he will make a good impresson but my MOM i am scared she goin to say something mean like usual.. both of my parents think he is my boyfriend and they dont complain about it but i dont know if they will let. my mom thinks boyfriends lead to sex. that is how it was back then and since i am the oldest i got to put up wit it can someone help me out... plz.. thanks!

p.s
my parents r really over protective they wont even let me walk outside the door without them comin after me.

I think your parents will appreciate both your and your friend's maturity for coming to them first rather than sneaking around.

The only way I can think of for you to get out of the house without them meeting him is to ask to go to a friend's house or ask them if you can meet a friend at the mall. Just don't mention the fact that the friend is male.

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about a month ago my boyfriend and I slept together. recently, i've noticed a ton of crazy things. my boobs are really soft and they hurt alot; my stomach randomly gets sharp pains in it or tingly type things, i have really bad headaches, i sleep more than usual and i kinda pee alot. i think i'm pregnant. my friend is buying me a test so i'll know tomorrow for sure. but is a month long enough that it will actually detect anything? please help. i'm 15 and im kinda lost at this whole situation.

Depending on the quality and sensitivity of the pregnancy test, they can detect pregnancy as early as a couple weeks after conception. After a month, the test should be able to tell.

If you continue having the symptoms but the test says you're not, I would consider going to a doctor, your health department, or a planned parenthood office for testing just to be sure.

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ok...so I have wen't to the beach this summer right and I hung out with this girl one day and she asked for my phone number so that we could hang out again tommorw (I am a girl and we were just being friends) so yea gave her my cellular...and all week we hung out and stuff and I wen't to her house and she came to myine and we just did the normal stuff that girls do and well...she has this brother who was crushin on me and I did not think anything about it I mean at school it happens alott and I am just the girl who they crush on and ask out...I AM SO NOT BRAGGING! I am just saying this to tell you that I did not know the brat was hanging around me the whole wek just for her brother so that he could get my phone number and call me every two seconds and worry the piss out of me so COULD ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO BLOCK A NUMBER ON A VRIZON WIRELESS PHONE! P.s I do have a b/f and he is on vacation right now and he is comeing back tommorw! ANd yes I have begged this dude to PLEASE STOP CALLING AND TEXTING ME! BUT HE WILL NOT!

Since you have told him to stop calling and texting, his actions are considered stalking and even harassment. Tell your parents what's going on and the next time he calls, hand the phone to your parents and let them deal with him. If he continues calling and texting, I would consider going to the police to file a complaint.

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My friend weighs like 70lbs and she can't gain weight and she just turned 12!!! Is this normal? ( oh yea and she eats like a PIG)

It's possible that she simply has a high metabolism. I also have a friend that eats pretty much 24/7 whatever she wants but never gains an ounce.

Another option is that she has an eating disorder that you're not aware of. Does she have any of the signs? I'll list a few so you can judge for yourself.

-Eating unusually large amounts of food without a change in weight.
-Frequent trips to bathroom after meals, signs/smell of vomit, evidence of laxatives or diuretics.
-Excessive, rigid exercise regimen.
-Unusual swelling of jaw and cheeks.
-Discoloration or deterioration of teeth.
-Stomach pain
-Tiredness
-Severe self-criticism

If she is showing these other signs, please talk to her about her eating habits. If she won't listen, go to her parents. It may save her life.

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okay well im built really small... i weigh 108lbs and im 5'6 and im 15... recently ive been tryin to gain weight.. ive gained eight pounds this summer but it seems like its only gone to my upper arm and hips... is theyre anyway i can gain weight in like my stomach area and my chest... im not even an Acup yet and its really embarassing... but idk how to even the weight out on my body... please help... i really need it... thanks

There isn't really a way to gain weight only in a certain area. You could simply exercise those areas to build muscle. Msucle weighs more than fat. For your chest, you can tone the muscle underneath making it appear slightly larger but there's no way of making your cup size larger other than waiting on nature to catch up with your impatience.

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WHat do you do if your boyfriend wants to do something sexual with you but you dont feel ready at the moment??

I would just tell him that you're not ready yet. If he loves you, he won't have a problem waiting until you are ready. It will make the moment so much more magical for both of you.

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is it wrong if you are 15 yrs old and have a 25 year old boyfriend??everyone tells me that its wrong..

It is against the law and he could get in trouble for being with you, especially if you're having sex.

If your relationship is pretty much sex only with nothing else, I would worry that he was using you.

I disagree with what someone else said about a 10 year age difference being huge. My husband is more than 10 years older than me (I'm 23) but I never set an age limit on love.

I do agree with what netsirk07 said in that you should wait to continue the relationship until you're a little older, at least 18. That way he won't get in trouble.

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okay i used nair today... down there... adn now its really red and sore... it says that you can use it there... but i was just wondering how you could make the redness and soreness go away... thanks

Ok if it's red and sore, you're probably having a mild reaction to something in the Nair. Try taking a Benadryl. It will help fight the reaction.

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