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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Ok i am 12 and this guy asked me to be his girlfriend but i told him i cant because i am not allowed to but i REALLY like him. I dont know if he still likes me though. I told him i would be his gurlfrind but.... i dont know if he still likes me!!! Help!!!!!

I am not trying to promote actual dating at this age and for the most part kids at your age usually just hang out together at school but never go on actual dates. What is good at this age is just getting to know people as friends both female and males. Do your girlfriends come hang out at your parents house? If so, what objection can they have to you having a male friend over, not a boyfriend because that conjures up an image in their minds of dating like a 17 yr old might do. It's worth a try. They want to protect you. Its actually a good thing for them to see how he interacts with you. You can always ask the parents later, what does a boy mean when he says this or does that. Find out what you have in common. Let the parents know you plan to honor their guidelines but would also like to learn how to talk to and just be friends with guys so that when you're old enough you arent put in the position of starting to date guys when you know nothing about how to even be a friend. If that works and your friend is not interested or has lost interest, you havent lost much. No need to stop at one, have a 2nd male friend, you have more than one girlfriend, right?

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How do i get rid of dandruff. I have a bunch and im getting tried of it. When i wash my hair it comes out parctially. Whats the best way to get rid of themm

I don't know if you have tried dandruff shampoos yet. or perhaps they didn't work.

There are natural remedies with items you may have in your kitchen

http://resources.purematters.com/healthy-body/beauty-skin-care/natural-ways-to-ditch-dandruff

And one not mentioned in that article is Mayonaisse. It helps moisturize the scalp. You might want a shower cap for this. Work mayonaisse into your hair and down to the scalp. The heat from your head will give the mayo a funky smell and you dont want it to drip so a shower cap is good. Try to leave it on 20 mins and then shower out.And shampoo. If the hair is too greasy still, you might want to mix some vinegar with water and work that into hair only to remove excess oil.

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how can you tell if a guy really like you for u?

You mean like you for who you are inside, not just wanting a pretty girl to show off, or for sex?


See if he will hang out with you the same way you hang out with your girl friends, as just friends.
If he accepts and he continues to do so over a long time frame without going around bragging that you are his girl, and without pressuring you for anything more than friendship, then you can bet his interest in the you inside is very real.

Remember this because it works at any age with a guy even after a divorce when I was dating to find my 2nd husband.
All good stable relationships start out as friends...even marriages. The ones based only on looks or sex are not as stable and can be quite rocky and end breaking up.

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how can you tell if a boy really like you

Without knowing the age, or what he is or isn't doing, i have no clues to go on.

But interest in the opposite sex shows up when kids are 10-13. At that age without any prior experience, there isnt much a guy will do. The most you will notice is
the guy stares at you alot and tries to find excuses to be close to you. He may not speak a word to you because he's shy. Or

the braver ones find a reason to talk to you maybe one random sentence. But not asking you to be his friend or go out.
The only sure fire way to find out if a guy likes you enough to want to spend some time with you is to start talking. How did you know that your girlfriends liked you? Once upon a time, you girls starting talking to each other and talked about stuff you have in common and then invited each other over to your house.
At this, there should be no other pressure. Just friendship with the guy. If you don't know what you have in common, next time he's looking at you, wave him over to you. When he gets there, ask away, like I was going to go bike riding Saturday but my girlfriend can't go and its not fun alone. Do you like to ride bikes and would you like to go with me? Once you break the ice that way, it'll get to be as easy for the two of you talking together and with your friends. If he doesnt respond, the next time you catch a guy staring at you over and over and trying to be near you, wave him over and ask him something. Its like fishing, you have to be patient. Eventually one guy is gonna take the bait and take you up on the offer.

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is it illegal for a 15 year old girl to have sex with a 17 year old guy or an 18 year old guy? thanks

I don't know if rules change from state to state. All I know is that many teens are having sex. They are all under age and if consenting to do so together, no body seems to mind. If the underage girl is forced and raped by a guy underage that is now a crime as it would be for a male any age to do that. I think most the laws serve to prevent an adult male or female from having sex with someone under legal age of 18.

If you still aren't sure about this, maybe talk to your local "Planned Parenthood agency"

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My social work professor opened up to us the other day when she told that when she was eight years old, she had almost gotten kidnapped. If it wasn't for her sister being there and putting up a fight, they would have gotten kidnapped because there was a car that heard her screams and came to their rescue. After she told us her story she took us to the missing and exploited children website and said that we can sign up to help the cause. So, far, all I have seen is where to donate money. I want to volunteer to help out. Is there a place that I can do such thing and if not, do you guys know of anywhere that is similar to that so I can help out there? I really want to give my free time to something very special and prove to me that social work is the right minor for me. So, if you guys have any suggestions as to anything that I could do, I would really appreciate it!

A social worker does not share their personal life stories with a client. I've been a caregiver and as such had to meet with client and their social worker. Its strict business. Something fishy with her sharing her story when she is supposed to be working with you.

Next you say she takes you to a website of exploited children and wants you to help. I dont think promoting any other business or organization is okay to begin with and again probably against the rules. It looks like its set up for donation only. It may not be a real organization and just a trap for people to donate their money into...a scam she or a friend or relative may benefit from.
Well thats worst case scenerio.

How do you know this social worker is on the level. Is she state approved, and can she prove it. If I were you, i'd get the number of her agency and call and ask to speak to someone. Tell them who your social worker is and want to know if it's okay for the social worker to share her personal story and show you a website to donate money to. Perhaps she didnt get good enough training. When it comes to social workers, there's such a great need for them that maybe they dont have to pass much qualifications to become one these days, I know in my state they are few and far between and very overworked.

She was pandering to your heart strings..oh those poor kids. Perhaps because she knows enough about you as her client, she knows you are vulnerable and sees a sucker who will fall for something easily. Have you ever thought that maybe her story was made up. Maybe she wants to exploit you in a different way. I've met great caseworkers and met real bads ones. The agency needs to know because there are many case loads she is handling, lots of other people who may not be getting the proper help from her and that's not fair to them. I know this isnt the answer you wanted but what you told me scared me. Just didnt sound right

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My friend is a senior in college, I am a freshman. There has been a new policy that passed two days ago, letting kids carry concealed weapons on campus. I, as well as my friend, are part of the sociology club at school. So, he is really into current events and such that happen especially on campus. He really wants to wear something under his gown on graduation day that says "Keep (my school) a gun free campus" but he isn't sure about doing such because he thinks they may hold his diploma. So, I am writing in to ask you guys what you think. If they hand it to him and he walks and he opens it when he is at the end of the stage, will they hold it? Once it's in his hands, it's his, right?

Thanks for reading!

What is generally handed to a student in the ceremony is not the real diploma, it's for show. I suppose some schools might be different. But usually they are mailed to you after your graduation. Just ask around if you get the real diploma at the ceremony or whether its' mailed.

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I always get bullied for being one f the "fat" girls. And i just don't know how to make them stop. I have starved myself for 3 days and i only lost 6 pounds. I am just sick of this, Everyday i know there is going to be a person who is going to be calling me fat or fatty. I have stayed home for like a week in a half (in total) Just because i didn't want to go to school. But now i am being forced to go because i got a letter from my school saying that if i miss one more day then i will go to Juvenal court. So now every day i have no choice but to go though hell for 8 hours.
So can someone help me and tell me what i can do to loose some weight?

Have school counselors been involved yet? Does your parents know? And what are they saying. I don't know what grade level you are in, but if in highschool, you may want to talk to someone about the option of attending an alternative school to receive your GED.

I understand emotional torture only mine wasnt due to weight. So I understand how miserable you are.
You say you lost 6 lbs in 3 days, that's amazing and you should be proud of yourself. But you must hear what I have to say next: too much weight coming off too fast is not health for you either.
It took months or years to come on you, it should take time to come off. I know some people who are dieting and they take about 5-6 lbs off a month. Start searching the internet for the exact recommendations and how long it will take. If you are committed to this...another thing you will have to figure out is your body type. Diet alone is not enough to lose the needed weight, exercise is too. Some peoples bodies require little exercise to remain small and trim, other's require moderate amounts of exercise and last of all is those whose bodies require great amounts of exercise.
At some point even if you lose lots of weight, it would be good to read books about having a good self image. Did you know that many of the thin girls who you may think are prettier also have a low self image? You may compare yourself to classmates, Your peers are comparing themselves to celebrities. And they will never be happy because being happy with who you are must start inside, in your mind.

Do something for me, look up on the net celebrities without makeup on. Those makeup artists do "Miracles" on the women. Those who seem to have slender petite noses in real life have wide ones....all makeup shading magic. You will be amazed at what you see. My opinion is that they all looked very average or downright unappealing if lets say I was a guy. No guy would take a 2nd look at them. This should show you that what you have to achieve isn't as far away as you may think. Work on the outside but be working on your contentment and self image at the same time.

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parent to their child?


y wife and mother of my thirteen year old daughter is in jail for a year for forgery charges. I wonder what this means now for the relationship between her and her daughter. I guess most people would take their kid and keep as far away as possible but I am not sure. Obviously she did the wrong thing and should serve her punishment but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did and has admitted to being a bad influence to her daughter so that is why I am still willing to stick by her. She never did anything like this before and was Also she was not an absent parent or abusive or anything and I don't think she will tell her daughter to do the same things she did. But some might feel that just because she committed a crime she has no right to be involved with her child anymore. I bet even my daughter might be my daughter might be thinking "mom went to jail she has no right to tell me what to do".

To answer your question, if a parent was abusing or mistreating a child in any way, such as neglecting or sexual abuse, then yes they should be prevented from seeing the child. When the child is an adult and can defend theirself, then they can decide for themselves if they wish to pick up the relationship again. Otherwise, mom should be able to continue being mom ...but ...because of what she did, the whole family should be seeing a family counselor once she gets out.

Stop worrying about what other people would do or what other people will think. If people spend all their life telling others what they should do, realize that it's a mechanism to avoid looking at oneself and focusing on what they need to change in their own lives and where they need to grow. Even the experts trained to counsel can only do as good as the information they are given. Something you may think unrelated or insignificant may be very helpful and illuminating to a counselor.

Now, on to what your daughter may think about mom. She is going to be looking to you and picking up cues from you so if Dad is floundering and has no idea what to think, she will feel lost and confused as well.
I have something I'd like to share and don't mean to be offensive as I don't know your spiritual beliefs. But I hope this helps give you a perspective on your situation you may not gain otherwise. I came from Christian background. I could never understand why some people do the not so good things or wrong choices, until I felt God telling me that reincarnation was real. Souls are like students. And the life on earth is the classroom. You would not expect a 1st grader to be doing 8th grade work because they are so far from it and just won't understand a single thing you say. It would be too overwhelming. There are students who sometimes have to be held back because they are not ready for the next grade level. And so it is with souls. They come to earth many times in a mortal life to learn and progress. Some resist, or goof off, or skip school, so it may take many many lifetimes for them to finally learn the one lesson, or grade level. Others are older souls here on earth again to learn more but they have learned to not resist so they are now passing their grade levels much easier...even though they may get some errors on tests.

Now here's a point I want to make, just because a parent is age wise older than their child does not guarantee that they are also at a soul level older and wiser than the soul of their child. All though all attempts are made to keep the souls of those are going to be married or in families, as close to the same soul level as possible, sometimes the lesson to be learned by the majority requires one family member to be of a lower soul wisdom level than the rest. Why? The friction that causes gives the others the opportunity to grow in some way as a soul, perhaps to learn unconditional love, how to forgive, etc... No, it's not easy. But I am glad I understood that when I left a verbally abusive husband and could tell the daughters to still love their dad, even though he wasn't always acting the adult. I told them this was their opportunity to learn how to deal with an abusive type of person because they will run into people like this from time to time throughout their life.
With this kind of mind set, if you can get yourself there, what you say to your daughter will come naturally and easily.
Good luck sir and many blessings to you and the family.

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I am a coward to start it off, and i like this girl, as a person like this i wanted to get closer with her. So "i" asked her out... well i didn't, but i told a friend of mine to ask her(i know im stupid and a coward for doing this, please dont insult me). She said she wants to...but... as a immature class we have, she feels pretty uncomfortable, so i asked her in person when shes free, and she said not this weekend(because of a family reunion) but probably next weekend. Its really awkward in class cause we just stare at each other. Her friends told me that she really likes me, but its kinda awkward. On monday, im going to ask her if she wants to go to a restaurant(nothing fancy.). Is there anything else i should try say, or am i doing something wrong?

When you ask her to eat out and she answers yes, then naturally, next you would need to know what kind of foods she likes and if she has any food allergies. Don't know if you're driving age or younger, but either way, see if she wants to eat in, or out. What I mean is lets say you go to taco time or a subway sandwich. If they have outdoor seating, that's nice but if there is a park nearby or river, lake, beach where you can drive or ride bikes to, that's even more special.

I think a friendship with her will grow much easier if anything you have to say to her doesnt feel so scary and awkward for you each time you want to say something. Hopefully you outgrow the awkward stage as you become comfortable with her. You're not doing anything wrong. There's a period of learning for any thing new you try, including dating. You will find that you get better and better at it as time goes on and you don't give up.
Good luck

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how do i ask my bestfriend to have sex with me without affeding her and getting mad at me

At first I thought boy whose bestfriend was a girl but now I am thinking you are female and you have a sexual attraction to your best girlfriend..

If you're male, let your girlfriend know you are having deeper feelings for her than just friend adn ask if she feels the same, if not. ..don't press her. Thats a nice way to ask and she should not ve offended. But it might be uncomfortable for her to stay knowing this so she may move on and just part on good terms.

If I am correct and you are female, has your best friend given any signs that she might have gay or bi-sexual leanings? Does her gaze follow other women a lot? Has she said any sexual type comments about other women? This could be quite a shock to her if she's not wired that way. There's nothing wrong with you. I have had females attracted to me and asking me if I was bi and I said I was not but thanked them for the compliment of finding me that attractive. What you might do is not ask for sex but just tell her that you have been feeling bi-sexual urges for women or a particular woman. And you wonder if that would make her think any less of you as her friend. Get her talking presumably over some other ficticous woman. Ask her if she has ever felt that way about another female. If she has, then come right out and admit your feelings.
If not, and she says she's still be your friend if you were bi with some other girl, then best not to ask if you don't want to lose her friendship.

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Ok so I know for a fact that the apartment my family and I live in has bed bugs. My mom can't sleep at night because she gets bit so much, and during the day she doesn't sit on the couch because of how bad she's bei.g bitten. We can physically see the bedbugs crawling sometimes, which I know from research is the result of an infestation. My friend sleeps on the floor in the living room and she gets bit also. So my mom got her cushions, pillow, and blanket and put them on the cot I sleep on when I was gone the last two days. And today I've killed 4 bedbugs total. And now I feel like I'm going crazy because anything that touches me I think it's a bug and not to mention I feel disgusted of the thought of me sleeping and bugs crawling on me and around me. My mom got some kind of spray that's supposed to kill bedbugs and the eggs, but it doesn't seem to work. And I would love them to get out of my bed and out of the apartment but Idk how. Does anyone know of a solution or has had this problem? Please help!!! All opinions are greatly appreciated.

In all the stories I have read, people had to call professionals in to kill the bugs. Bedbugs are best killed by heat even the eggs which a spray won't kill.
It's next to impossible for homeowners to be rid of them. A professional will seal off the house, while you and all family members and pets leave the house. They then pump the house full of very hot air which kills the bedbugs.
Sorry, there's no easy answer.

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I need advice on how to style the WORST case of a short haircut. A couple of months ago I shaved my head. It has grown back in the ugliest, frumpiest way. Rather than hugging my scalp nicely, my hair has started growing outwards, so my entire head now resembles a mushroom. When I try to tousle it a little, it makes me look wolfish. I look sooooooo ugly right now, I can’t even glimpse myself in the mirror without wanting to puke.


This is what my hair looked like when I cut it initially:
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g164/risingloafer/bald1_zps5552be7d.jpg
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g164/risingloafer/baldie_zpsf503c411.jpg


This is what I look like now:
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g164/risingloafer/IMG_2761_zps1a9b13ca.jpg
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g164/risingloafer/IMG_2782_zps4e6a0aa8.jpg


AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


What’s a girl to do? I really don’t want to get it cut because the whole point is I’m trying to grow my hair back. But I need to figure out what to do during the long interim period. I’ve thought about wearing hats but I can’t find one that fits my face shape and doesn’t look strange without the absence of hair framing it.

The first shot didnt look bad but I could see on the 2nd one what you're talking about. I went looking for scarfs but hard to find what I was thinking of because most sites had the middle-eastern head wrap scarves.
I found on google video a tutorial to doing several boho scarf styles. This would force the hair that sticks out to be held down close to the head.Hope this helps. If it works, I'd love to see a pic of you wearing one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rmA7YCkctQ

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I am really at a loss her. My adult daughter has two children and is divorced. She has been seeing a nice young man off and on for a couple of years. I contacted him by text one weekend to ask if he knew if her boys had bought something for her for a special occasion. If not, I was going to take them shopping. He answered my question and that was the end of it. Well, now she's told me that it's inappropriate for me to contact her boyfriend without her knowledge. I explained what had taken place but she insisted I was in the wrong and must respect her boundaries. Was that inappropriate?

The part I dont understand is how you even have his cell number to text if you aren't acquainted with him well enough through your daughter to have it.
If this has been a period of a few years, I would think that he would have met all of her family many times and been on a close friend basis by now.

What I am gathering from what you wrote is that this gift is something you wanted her to be surprised about and that is why you did not directly ask her? Am I correct? How old are the boys? Old enough to shop on their own and make decisions what to get mom I hope. But not all sons are as thoughtful as a daughter may be and may have overlooked to pay attention to this detail. I am assuming teen age or older kids. Younger ones are unable to get mom a gift on their own and your asking him if they had would definitely sound strange to me. >She obviously would not have been expecting any gift from school age children. I have to guess at so many scenerios without more info here.
But I come back to wondering, if daughter wanted her dating life to be really private...why did she allow you to have his cell number to begin with? Something just doesnt add up for me. Maybe I am dense or maybe there's more to this story than meets the eye. All I can say is since she has made her boundaries clear you must honor them. Whether you did something inappropriate, I cannot tell by what I've been told. Sorry.

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Hello, I am 18/female. Tomorrow night, I am going to the movies with 3 of my guy friends and my college roommate. One of the guys is a mutual friend between all of us, the second guy- I have a huge crush on. The third guy is the guy that I like, his best friend. Now, the guy that I like and I don't talk that much, but when we do, it's great. We joke and laugh, we watch Adventure Time together. One night, he had to work from two in the morning until five in the morning, so I stayed with him and watched Adventure Time. My roommate had already warned me that if I don't "get my flirt on" tomorrow night, she is going to get my flirt on for me. She said she's already thinking of ways to get us to sit next to each other during the movie. Now, I have never been in a serious relationship before, I've had feelings for a guy that have been returned in the same way before but nothing really continued, we just flirt and that was it, we moved on. I also have a really bad habit of getting to be too good of friends with guys so that I friend-zone them and then I don't see them as anything more than my best friend.

So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is: how do I go about flirting with him tomorrow night? Especially because his best friend is going, they're gonna be best friends together because the other three of us do not know him that well. I also already know it's gonna be weird and awkward because we're gonna be in a dark movie theater so we won't be able to talk much. I just want to not friend-zone this one for once because he's super handsome and I would like to get to know him better on a new level. Sorry for sounding like a 12 year old girl, haha, I just don't know how to go about doing this kinda thing.

Thanks.

It sounds like they all are definitely at just friend level. You are at a good age to start learning about a serious relationship with a guy.
Haven't any of them given any hints or clues that they might be interested in you as more than a friend, and perhaps you weren't recognizing it or looking for it?
Its just a matter of time til you find the most awesome mate because you have one of the important components of a relationship down...one I feel is important to come first. Sex isnt enough to make a relationship healthy. Best if it starts with friendship and grows into the sexual part. But...there has to be enough sexual chemistry and this is what you will be learning next. Be careful and take precautions though.

Now, as to how to find out if any one of the three are possibly romantically interested in you.
If they feel awkward showing any deep interest in you in front of their friends, you will have to come up with a plausible ploy to give them an out and then see what happens.
Sitting in the movies theater seats is not a way to be able to snuggle up. It is not my idea of a place to flirt. Wait until the next time you're all together at someones house and here's what you say to them.

"I feel like I am ready to move on to having a serious romantic relationship with a guy. But I don't have any experience. So I am wondering if any one of you as my friends would like to help me with that, the holding hands, snuggling and kissing and such. that way I can feel more comfortable moving into a romantic relationship if someone asks." Something like that in your own words.. it.may sound corny but you have to get a response from them somehow.

If one is interested in you, he can now step forward and tell you he will help you and it won't feel as awkward in front of his friends if thats whats holding him back. Or perhaps none of them have much experience and dont want to admit it by making a move and then thinking you might not like how they kiss or whatever. Now one or maybe two of the guys will volunteer. If they don't volunteer, then perhaps there is no sexual attraction at all for any of them. And you'll know to go looking for other guys to experience that with. If one is willing to "help you practice" do your flirting real heavy, if you've worn just casual clothes, dress up a bit sometimes, but still in what is your personal style, go for a kiss, or start with snuggling your head on his chest and move to plant a kiss on his neck or under his chin, nibble at his jaw and see if he's ready for kissing now. Read books on how to go beyond flirting. Once he's drawn in by the hormones being stirred up with the romantic stuff, it should proceed to him wanting you for real not because he's helping you to be ready for another guy. Hope it helps. Good luck

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What is different but awesome to do at talent show

How about a comedy skit...not someone telling jokes.

A good one is having 3 people, One visible but only the arm of the other two visible from inside a rigged up large shirt. i saw this done once and it was so funny. It was women trying to demonstrate how to cook a meal. A big plastic sheeting was on the floor to catch all the spills. A table with the front curtained off had bowls, measuring cups, stirring spoons and boxes of all sorts of dry goods. Anything you'd like to use. Doesnt have to be a real recipe. Some liquids. Don't use sharp knives, find a rubber one at costume supply place because the person whose hand in holding it won't be able to see. The purpose is to show people how easy and fast it would be for a woman/ or man to cook a meal if they hand more than one pair of hands.
Of course it ends up a disaster because the flour is poured in a pile maybe next to bowl, not in it because you have moved it. Or you bat away one of your helping hands repeatedly so it gets mad and dips itself into something like chocolate syrup and lightly slaps your face with it. There are so many possibilities and its done on the premise of teaching a cooking recipe but it's all comedy.
You'd need a friend or two to do this together.

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I'm in such desperate need of you're advice. I have reached an extreme breaking point and I kindly ask for as many responses as possible!!!

In April 2012 I met a guy and told him very clearly that I did not want a relationship. He kept pushing tho and I was an idiot who couldn't resist the attention. Long story short... we're still together. I realize leading him on was a huge mistake. I don't need anyone telling me I messed up. However please note that he knows we're not an official couple. I've made it clear!!

I do love him but I've been trying to get him out of my life for months and months and here's the awful part; he is 11 years older than me and his parents finally kicked him out of the house around the same time he got fired. He was a chain smoker and alcoholic and so are all his unreliable friends. He has no where to go and at this point no friends or family to turn to.

He has done so much better with the smoking and he rarely drinks now and says its because of me. And before I move on I must point out how literal I am when I say he has NO friends or family he can turn to... so you can imagine my predicament... I'm stuck. I do love him very much, I can't just throw him to the streets. :( what kind of person would do that to someone they love?!

He has been in and out of state working and when he's gone I feel so free and happy. But now he refuses to go out of state again and is having a hell of a time finding a job. I feel like if he just had a job then I could leave cuz he wouldn't rely on me so much but as of now he has no car go find a job so he needs mine and he has no phone so on his applications he puts my number. ...he is 35 and he relies on a 24 year old!!! I hate taking care of him.

He has 2 weeks before his unemployment stops coming in and he won't be able to stay at the extended stay hotel we've been in for 5 weeks. If he doesn't have income by then, he's homeless! I'm leaving the country in June for a month so he will have no where to go. My roommate hates him so he can't stay at my apartment. Which I'm kinda grateful for!!

I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed that I've actually has horrible thoughts of him dying and the burden being lifted... which I definitely don't want to happen but its awful that those thoughts are there.

If I just leave he will be alone in this world and I'll be a bitch. Or I can stay super miserable and keep taking care of him but at least he'll have a roof over his head and food to eat.

Please help. Please!!!! :'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(

It is wonderful that you care enough about another human being that you want to help him out.
As long as you are not below legal age, being 11 yr age gap is not a problem.
At 23 when you met him, you had no idea that the warning signs were blinking furiously at you but due to no life experience, you had no idea.
The warning signs were a 34 yr old man still living with his parents? That is a big one. It means he was unable to make good adult decisions on his own.
Another is that he was alcoholic and chain smoker. His parents knew if they kept taking care of him, that they would only continue enabling him to stay stuck where he is. The economy may be bad but he must have had some money. It takes a lot of money to pay for cigarettes if you chain smoke and even more money to drink all day long? He really could have been making some headway. My ex used to complain if I bought 2nd hand clothes for kids for school yet he went to Starbucks 3 times a day or more and bought extra stuff sometimes. I added up monthly amounts spent over 6 months and averaged it out. It came to $250. a month on something that he had nothing to show for. Thats $1,500. spent over 6 mos. Thats crazy for a coffee habit. I guarantee your guy was spending a heck of a lot more. That money could have been put towards some plan to get ahead.
People need to hit rock bottom before they sometimes decide to change. If somebody "Rescues" that person and prevents the inevitable from happening, the person doesnt get the chance to learn. Many people today are homeless due to job loss. They weren't dependant on someone to take care of them, so when life dealt them a blow, they looked for another avenue to take for a living situation, food and so on. Your guy has been dependant on his parents for way too long.

It seems one of your life lessons to learn is to be able to discern when your help given is going to benefit a person or when help given is going to enable them to stay stuck. I am sorry I couldn't give you any better news. Don't feel bad about yourself. We all have to learn this at some point. Heck even parents have to get this when raising kids. Allow them to do things and figure out things on their own with advice from parents or rescue them every time they cant come up with a solution so they never learn. See, we all have to learn this. Not stepping in to help doesnt make you a bitch any more than it makes the parent in my example an ogre. Chin up girl, enjoy your time out of the country and don't worry about him. Leave that to his angels to tell him what to do. He'll figure it out. He's a big boy and its time he learns on his own how to sink or swim

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I would love to hear from some guys about your opinions on what makes a good sex partner. What do you like/don't like that girls do? Thanks!

I know you only wanted to hear from guys, so I only looked at your question out of curiousity. So I think you need to realize the sex is a two way street. It's not just what a girl does that makes her a good sex partner for you. What makes you a good sex partner for her?
If your question was to want to know how to be a good sex partner for a woman, then I'd like to give my advice.
Each woman is unique so she can have different tastes and needs which you will want to ask her about. Don't try to guess. Good communication is important. Another important point is in how long it takes a man to be aroused to orgasm versus a woman. There is a saying about "A woman is like an iron. She takes a long time to heat up. But once shes hot, its a long time before she is cool again. The man who makes a great lover will be sure to give her as much time as needed to get her aroused, then once there, he will do what she needs to keep her having orgasm after orgasm until she says enough. Then giving her a couple minutes break to catch her breath, it's finally your turn. If a man is having intercourse with a woman he has totally pleased, the intercourse is way more fullfilling. She feels everything he is doing much more intensely because remember, "it takes a long time for an iron to cool down." While in this aroused state it is easier for her g-spot to be stimulated and she can experience g-spot orgasms. Thats just a start. There's so much more a guy can learn in order to be a good sex partner for a woman. Get books and study how a womans body works sexually. Woman who have never squirted or gushed (female ejaculation) know nothing about it, let alone the guys. So read up and learn and women will never say no to having sex if they know how much pleasure they will receive.

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My boyfriend and I are sex addict,I sometimes feel like its not LOVE yet I enjoying making love with him.I cannot resist him when it comes to sex and I don't feel reassured.I am jealous of him since we in distance places,I always pull stunts just to get his attention though his fam knows me but I still feel not secured.And I just feel like with my stunts I'm pushing him away,what must I do?

Psychologists today will not classify sexual addiction in with things like gambling, smoking or drinking addictions because it doesnt fit the same patterns. They aren't sure it's an addiction at all.

There needs to be balance in life. When one part of your life is out of balance with the rest, problems will likely arise If the need to be involved in having sex is so often that it leaves no time for spending time with other friends or family, no time to focus on school, a job or any other part of normal life, then something is wrong. There could be something that you aren't aware of that you may be lacking pschologically that you are automatically using the sex act to try to remedy it. That will not work. In your desire to feed the need and make it be quiet...you go for more sex...is it working for you? Is there something inside you deep down that feels totally content in life, at peace, full of happiness no matter what is going on around you, and willing to show kindness and share love with everyone in your life that you may come across.
Is that how you feel? If not there are signs that can point to what needs to be addressed, and healed inside you. You mentioned feeling jealous and insecure. Unless you can learn to overcome these kinds of feelings, you will find that you will drive men away all life long until it is addressed. It might be good to see a counselor.

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I have never wanted children. My entire life I have never felt that urge to mother, but I've recently found myself thinking about it more often. My boyfriend does want children, and its something we have talked pretty seriously about. Just trying to see it from each others point of views.

I don't know if I want kids now because my boyfriend does, or if its something else. I'm 22 and I just recently got promoted at my job, and my boyfriend is 28 and just enrolled in his doctorate programs, on top of having a full time job. It just wouldn't be a smart thing to do right now. Idk what I'm asking, I guess its more of an "is it normal to all the sudden have these feelings?" Kind of question...please help

I personally have not heard of a womans urge to have a child switching on because her boyfriend wants it. You and boyfriend are the age of my children so I hope you don't mind my asking what I would ask my own daughter if she was considering getting pregnant with a boyfriend. You are still young. Are you sure this relationship will last for ever or long enough for the child to grow up in a happy healthy stable family. In their 20's is when people are starting to get serious in relationships only to find that as time goes on, there is something about the other they just can't live with such as a daughter at 28 who has been married and divorced twice. Some are mature and totally know what they want out of life. At 20 when I married, I was mature but at same time totally naive and lacking life experience. I hadnt dated and this was the first guy. He was the wrong one but I hung out 30 years for the girls. You can still afford to give it time.
I will also say that I know of two young women, one my daughter thru 2nd marriage who at 21 knows she doesnt not want to have a child. If by chance she finds herself pregnant, she's already asked mom if mom will raise the kid so they have an agreement. The other was in her mid to late twenties was married and both knew they didnt want kids. So they both got tubes ties and made it final. It all depends on what the reason was for you not wanting children.
My young acquaintance admitted that she was too selfish and wanted the freedome to do what she wanted whenever she wanted without being tied down to feeding schedules, diaper changing and having to raise and train the child. She never regretted her decision. I also read an article of a young man who asked for prayer because he and wife couldnt get pregnant. There was no medical problem preventing that so they were puzzled. A wise counselor asked him about his childhood. He came from a large family with 10 or more children. He resented having to share and to help out with siblings and made a vow in his teens that he would never have kids. So strong was his convictions that his will affected their ability to have kids. Now older and wiser, he realized he did really want kids and asked God to help and that he is sorry he spoke such words long ago.
If you are truthful with yourself, you may have an easier time coming to some agreements with your guy about considering having a kid. Good luck

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