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I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.

I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.

Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.

I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65024

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i download 3 movies from lime wire and they wont play in the computer or dvd player. whats wrong (link)
I'm very sorry, as much as I would love to help, I know very little about computers and I asked my boyfriend (he's an I.T Manager) your question, he doesn't know either.

The best thing I can recommend is that you either phone or visit a computer shop and ask them, as they should be able to tell you.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.


Is losing your virginity on prom night the worst thing ever??

cause me and my boyfriend are staying in a hotel with his bro and my best friend... but with 2 rooms?

Im a good virgin but i love my boyfriend... and i dunno if im ready... (link)
There's a big thing about losing your virginity on prom night and I must admit it's something I have never been able to understand.

Here's the thing, you should NEVER have sex until you know that you are ready and this is even more the case when it comes to losing your virginity. Why give it up until you know you're ready to? Sex is a big deal and even if you know you love your boyfriend, it doesn't mean you have to be ready now. If he loves you, he will understand this.


right ok ive got a weak bladder and wet the bed its really embarrasing and sometimes im scared to sleep at anyones house incase it happens i dont know what to do and i dont want to go to the doctors or anything cause its really embarrasing. please help (link)
There are a few things you can do here.

First of all, try not to drink any fluids from approximately two hours before you go to bed. Hopefully this should stop the bed wetting issue.

Secondly, try some pelvic floor exercises. Your pelvic floor is what tenses to stop you weeing. One recommendation used to be that you tried to stop yourself weeing mif-flow when you are on the loo but doctors are now concerned that it could push urine back to the kidneys and cause infection (very dangerous, kidney infections) so instead, try this. Lay on the floor on your back with your legs shoulder width apart and bent and your feet flat on the floor. Raise your pelvis about half a foot of the floor and do ten pumps towards the ceiling. Gradually increase it as you get to be better at doing this. You can also try starting in the same position, raise your pelvis again and gently move your knees together and apart a few times. Again, increase the repetitions as you get better at it.

Lastly, I would recommend you see your doctor. I know it's horribley embarrassing but trust me, as you get older, you will have to face your doctor with worse things than this so you may as well get used to it now! Go and see if there is anything they can do or recommend to help strengthen your bladder safely.


well i am a f/13 and i need advice. Well you know how sometimes you play around with your guy friends and kick them on the leg and then they try to kick you back,well that happened to me. On Wednesday i kicked my guy friend and he tried to kick me back right and then i try to run away. Well i saw this boy who i like and i think likes me and we hang out a lot and talk about everything. So i ran behind him. I had my arms around his body with hands on his chest( i didnt even notice). So he did the sweetest thing by trying to protect my from getting kicked by my guy friend. He didnt care that my arms were around him and he was even moving opposite the bo so he wouldnt hit me!!! Is that a sign of liking me because i had my hands on his chest and he didnt even care and he was protecting me? Was that a good thing putting my arms around him and my hands on his chest(even though i didnt even notice)?i rate 5s Thanx in advance!!!
J. (link)
Well, either he likes you or he's a really nice guy!

There's only one way you will know how he feels about you and that's to tell him you like him and ask him out. I know it's a risk but you don't get great love without great risk and the worst he can do is say no. So if you want to know if you can have the sort of relationship with him that you want, you know what you have to do!


What is a good way to get rid of sinus' Does anyone have any good ideas PLEASE im really feeling awful i need some help. Does anyone nwo any home made stuff that can help me...?? (link)
Sinus pain is really awful isn't it? I have the same problem.

First of all, you should see your doctor, to make sure you don't suffer from chronic sinusitis (fluid at the back of the sinuses) because if it happens a lot then it might be that. Failing that, you may have a sinus infection and antibiotics might do the trick.

If you've only had it for a day or two, you could see your pharmacist and get some tablets or a nasal spray. There's a lot out there to aid with sinus pain so it's worth a try but I would strongly recommend that if you're suffering for any more than 3 or 4 days, you should see your doctor.


What causes the ugly red spots that show up when you shave your legs and are there alllll the time? Its really gross and ugly looking.
Anyone got any advice on how to reduce the noticeability of them or even make them go away?

I tried lotion but.. that only lasts so long and definately doesnt make them GO AWAY.

Is it just irritated skin? (link)
Sounds like either shaving rash or dry skin. I get exactly the same thing and I actually use foot moisturiser on my legs once in the morning and once when I go to bed at night. It clears it up in a couple of days completely but if I stop doing it at all, it comes back quick as a flash!

So try a good strong foot moisturiser! Sounds a little weird but if it works why not?!


The other day I answered someone's question. And in that question I stated that ovulation can also occur after a person's period. ( 6-14 days) which I googled and found out I was right. Another person wrote my advice column to dispute this fact, but turns out she didnt dispute it al all: here is that she said word for word: Oh, and no you are not fertile AFTER your period you fucking idiot. You are not fertile UNTIL 14 DAYS AFTER YOUR PERIOD. Get your facts right. Now does everyone see that she said your NOT fertile AFTER your period, its 14 days AFTER your period! Duh thats what I said! Why do people resort to name calling when trying to dispute something? or is it just this person doesnt posess any class? 5's for all thoughts.. except for her's. (link)
You should report that to the Moderators because nobody on here should be speaking to each other like that. That's more than lacking in class, it's downright rude and you should do something about it.


My friend had larengitus and a fever for about 1 and a half weeks. She's finally recovering, after she was sick for so long. I think I may of caught what my friend has, but I am drinking lots of water (you wouldn't believe how much I'm drinking) and I stayed home today and rested.

Do you think that I will recover faster than my friend? I actually don't feel all too bad, and I don't feel like I'm getting larengitus or anything. Is it possible that my friend just didn't take care of herself properly? (She never drinks any water, just a few sodas, she eats alot of junk food and she didn't rest when she was sick because she had to play soccer.)

I'm not even sure if I definitely have what she had or not. In fact, my mom says I got sick from worrying so much that I was going to. But the big problem is: I have a birthday party tomorrow that I cannot miss or my friend will practically die. It's only about 2 hours. Will I probably be okay if I keep hydrating?

I'll rate. (link)
As long as you look after yourself I don't think you need to worry.

However, your Mum might be right in saying that you feel ill because of worrying you were going to. What you are feeling might be entirely psychosomatic and you might actually be completely fine. I'm exactly like you, in that whenever someone is ill, I worry like mad that I'm going to come down with it too but all that worrying is only going to make you feel ill.

Relax, drink plenty of fluids and just carry on with things. Go to the party. Even if you do have laryngitis starting, it doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of two hours of fun. Laughter is a great healer so go and have the best fun you can.


ok well i broke p with my boyfriend 1 week ago and i realllllllllyyyy miss him, but hes really pissed off at me becuase he thinks im talking bad about him but i have no idea what hes talking about...i say i hate him but i sooo miss him and somtimes i remind myself of all the bad times which makes me hate him but they all go away and now i wish i never broke up with him...but i broke up with him for a reason and the day i broke up with him he said he was waiting for me to break up with me and so i got reallly mad and wrote him a mean note that basiclly said we were over.now he doesnt even wat to mention my name...and on top of that he tried to get his sister to beat me up but his sister and i are really close so she said she wasnt.i just wish he didnt have to be such an asshole...help! thnxs in ad.oh yeah and he didnt try to get someone to fight his last gf...why me? (link)
Simple. Because he did really like you and you hurt him. It sounds like he's a tough faced guy with a sensitive soul so he may not be terribly nice at face value but he can be easily hurt. When you broke up with him, the chances are he was very upset and said he was waiting to break up with you to 'save face' as it were.

The best thing you can do is stay well away (mostly because why on Earth would anyone want to be with a guy who tries to talk people into beating them up?!) and keep a low profile for a while. Keep reminding yourself that you broke up with him for a reason and don't let yourself go back to him. You can do a LOT better than a guy like that.


i have these sterling silver diamond earrings and the diamond is like fading if you know what i mean.. its like not as shiny, what can i do because i already tried rubbing alcohol but then within like a minute it goes away and isnt shiny anymore.. anytips that i could use with home products (link)
You can buy jewellery cleaner quite cheaply from homeware stores and jewellery shops so you might want to look into doing that. I would advise against using any home methods without knowing what they might do to the diamond because some things are more corrosive than others and you don't want to damage any part of the earrings.


ok my boyfriends best friend(johhny) is a really good friend of mine also but we are just friends and that is it!! well last night i had a dream that i did some ....."not so nice" things with johnny and now i cant talk to johnny, and i kinda feel bad, if i tell my boyfriend than im scared he will get mad but this dream really bothered me to were i cant talk to johnny, i mean i dont want to brake up with my current boyfriend its just this dream bugged me..do i tell my boyfriend and his friend or what do i do? (link)
Don't worry! Everyone has dreams of this nature and it is perfectly normal. It's just that when you are in a relationship, it can make you feel very guilty and embarrassed because although you know it was only a dream, you end up feeling as though you have cheated on your partner!

The thing you have to remember is that it was only a dream. It doesn't mean you have any feelings for Johnny, even if you enjoyed being with him in the dream. Dreams are just manifestations of worries, thoughts and so on that we have during the day. Chances are you were just feeling a little...shall we say....wound up? that day and those feelings got placed onto a guy you trust. You already have a good relationship with your boyfriend so you're fulfilled in that area so why dream about him? As you're good friends with Johnny, your brain just picked him to dream about.

So try not to worry about it too much. It didn't mean anything and you have no intentions of doing things with him in real life. Not to mention, if you don't behave normally with him then everyone will really think something is up!


So I've liked this guy Joseph since 5th grade. He confessed his feelings and asked me out in 7th grade, but I rejected him, i dont know why. Last year i talked to him a lot and everyone said he liked me. This year, i barely talk to him anymore so i donno if he still likes me. Im now going into 11th grade, and i STILL like him, but im afraid to tell him because im afraid of what my friends will think and that he doesnt like me anymore. how do i find out if he likes me, and hint to him that i like him, before the school year ends? (link)
If you want to do this before the school year ends then why wait and worry about hinting? He took a huge step in telling you the way he felt about you and that's very admirable. I reckon you should do the same thing. I know it's embarrassing and there's always the risk of being rejected but you know what? There are going to be a million times where you will have to put your heart on the line and you may as well start now because if he doesn't get hints you throw his way, you might never know how he feels.


well i just met this amazing guy and he and my best friend used to like be together but now they dont see each other anymore....well he has a girlfriend now but when we were in the car he started tickeling my leg and touching my hands and stuff...it didnt really bother me because i like him and all but the only thing is if my friend finds out what should i do?? and i told asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yeah but techniqully werent not because i only see her sometimes so if me and him did anything would that be like hes cheating on her with me?!?!ill rate high (link)
If he did anything with you then yes it would be cheating on her with you and could you really cope with the guilt factor involved?

There are two major issues here. First of all, the situation between you all. If he likes you but still wants to carry on with her, you REALLY shouldn't get involved with him. After all, if he's prepared to do this to her, what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you too? He doesn't seem to have a problem and I'm not sure you would be comfortable either if he was yours and he treated other girls the way he is treating you right now. He doesn't seem to have much respect for women and you might want to think carefully about this before you decide to do anything with him.

Secondly, there's a risk involved here to pretty much all party's. I'm sure you don't want to hurt your friend and if you get together with her guy (regardless of his claims they see each other only 'sometimes'), she will be REALLY hurt and you will almost definitely lose her as a friend. Not only that but you will lose any other friends that you share with her, because you will inevitabley be seen as 'the boyfriend stealer' and you don't want a reputation like that. He may say he see's her only sometimes but how does she feel about him?

I should also add that your friend deserves to know that her boyfriend has been making advances on you. No offence to you but how do you know he's not been doing the same thing to other girls? As I said before, he doesn't seem to have a problem with it and I think your friend deserves to know her boyfriend is a cheating scumbag! As your real loyalty lies with her, I recommend you tell her and however great you think this guy is, you should let him go because in the long run, he won't be worth your time or effort and certainly not worth losing a friend over.


Agh! One of my BFF's copies everything from other people! She's so unoriginal with her AIM profile, taste in music, style, way she acts && everything! So annoying! What should I do? Say something.. or just ignore it? Its so annoying tho! I will rate Ok thank yu! (link)
You should say something about it but be careful what you say. It sounds to me as though your friend has low self esteem. She doens't think the things she would like would be seen as 'cool', so she copies other people that she knows others like, because she wants to be liked too. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

See if you can get her to sit down with you somewhere and explain to her that she is a good person and you and your friends would appreciate her, regardless. Then tell her your concerned because you noticed she seems to be more following the herd than finding her own style. It's important she does this or when she gets older, she won't know who she is. Ask her what her favourite band is, or her favourite place to shop. Basically, you need to make her feel sure that it is okay to be different to people without hurting her feelings. Hard to do but if you really want to stop her copying everything, that's the only way it's going to happen.


ok im a 13/f i have a horse but i keep it at this guys house b/c his mom takes care of it for me. Anyway i go to his house like every other day after school and he always invites this other guy to his house and i really hate the guy he invites. But the guy likes me and if i like even walk past him he slaps my butt and crap like that i hate him but i kinda like the attention. I dont no if i should tell him to stop or just leave it like it is. Plese help. O yeah im only 13 and i would not go any futher that a kiss with a guy so dont even tell me bout that. (link)
The problem with getting unwanted attention from a guy is that even though you may hate the guy, there will almost always be a small part that feels like you want it. Much as I hate to admit it, even unwanted attention from an unwanted guy can boost self esteem because it makes you feel special and like someone likes you.

However, if you know that you really don't like this guy then you need to put a stop to it. You could either have a word with the guy whose Mum looks after your horse and see if he would have a word with him on your behalf or, if you're feeling brave, you could speak to him yourself. Tell him that you don't like it when he slaps you and so on and you would appreciate if he would stop. Try to put it nicely to begin with but if he doesn't get the message, be more forceful.


hi. well am a 14 yr old guy, and im growing my hair. right now, itz the stage where every1 says "you need a haircut!" . and i was just wandering, if i grow it, and i dont like it, will i be able to cut it, and spike it up like i did before? or will it be too floppy? by the way, its kind of thick, and curly.

thanx (link)
You should still be able to cut it and spike it the way you did but you might need gel or wax, which you might not have needed before.

Only one way to find out!


Today at school my mates were saying that I look like Nanny McPhee! I do have a big nose & bushy eyebrows but I try not to care about looks at all, whereas looks are the most important thing in my mates lives.. it's not just my mates who think I look hideous, they printed a pic of Nanny McPhee & kept asking teachers if I looked like her, and they all said, "well I'm not trying to be mean.. but yeah, she does". Now I feel terrible, I have no confidence whatsoever as it is, I have huge problems with talking to people and stuff.. Anyway, how can I make myself not hideous and revolting? Thanks :\ (link)
What awful friends!!

Frankly, if they were really good friends then they would NEVER do anything to make you feel bad about yourself. Perhaps they might subtly offer to do makeovers if they thought there was a problem but to come out and say something like that is cruel.

If you were happy with the way you looked before they started commenting about you then you shouldn't let what they said bother you. I highly doubt that you are anything like hideous or revolting!! If you are concerned at all then you could try looking at re-doing your look but you should only EVER change yourself for anyone but you.


I know this sounds incredibly stupid, but I am terrified of spiders! Everytime I see one near me, or even up in the wall in my room, I freak. I know this is considered a phobia, but as far as illnesses go...? I feel like when I see one they're on me all over and I have to get it off. Is there anything I can do about this? (link)
I wouldn't really class Arachnaphobia (definitely what you have!) as a mental illness but it certainly is a problem to every day life because, as much as we hate to accept it (I also hate spiders) they are and always will be all around us!

There are different ways you can learn to cope with your fear and the sooner you start trying, the easier it is likely to be.

You could try exposure therapy, where you make yourself look at pictures of spiders, then look at real spiders and so on as much as possible until you get used to seeing them. You might still be scared but you will learn to deal with it and it won't be so hard to be faced with them any more.

You could try hypnotherapy, as long as you make sure you use a therapist with qualifications and ask to see these qualifications beforehand.

Just make sure that before you embark upon any sort of therapy, you're absoloutely sure you want to face it because exposure therapy in particular is REALLY hard and you have to really want to get over it to do it.


my hair is really weird i straighten my hair all the time and i have like really bad breakage issues HELP! (link)
Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. Hair straighteners, especially the good ones can heat up EXTREMELY high and this amount of concentrated heat on your hair is bound to cause damage over time.

You could try using a protection spray or serum but in the long run, the only thing you can do is to either stop straightening your hair completely until it's had a chance to recover or to just try to straighten your hair less often. I straightened my hair twice weekly for and a half years and haven't been able to since November because it was that badly damaged, it was getting shorter without being cut!!!!!

Don't worry, try to cut down on how often you straighten it and try using gel or mousse and it should start to improve over time.


I split with my sons father over 4 yrs ago and he still sees him every saturday and stays the night. When he comes home he is argumentative, stressed, tearful and keeps having little 'accidents' in his pants, never a big pooh, he just pushes a little bit out and then tells me he couldnt get to the loo in time, even tho his room is next to the bathroom. Why do you think he's doing it, is it for attention??? and if so, how do i deal with it??? (link)
You haven't mentioned your son's age but I imagine that he is taking the split quite badly. Obviously, I don't know if he was old enough to really realise that it was happening at the time but I suspect he's probably doing it as a sort of attention-seeking method.

My guess is that it's really confusing to have his Father in the house and staying over one night a week, even though Mummy and Daddy are separated and this is his way of dealing with it.

You might want to try not having the Father over for a few weeks and see if it calms down. Maybe see if he can have him over where he lives that night or take him out during an extra day rather than sleep over. If your son is of a talking age, you could try asking him why he does it (but distract him at the same time with a colouring book or similar activity as kids tend to be more open when distracted).




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