NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: My friend can be really annoying sometimes. She's overly sensitive, and gets really mad over NOTHING. Sometimes I'll suggest to her something, I don't think I'm being too mean, and she'll flip out, or sometimes she'll get angry over something she started and ignore me until I apologize. I know sometimes I can be annoying and I can acknowlegde it and apologize for mistakes. She's about the opposite. BUT, she's my best friend (I do have other friends) and I love her as a friend, we get along more often than not, but when we don't she's really annoying and infuriates me, how can I tell her this nicely? I try to be patient but she makes it near impossible. Were both in 9th grade and girls btw.

I can tell you how NOT to do it...

"GOD! You're so ANNOYING!"

Your friend is used to throwing hissy fits to get her way now. This is the pattern, the way she sees it:

1) Argue.
2) Give friend the silent treatment.
3) Friend will apologize, whether it's her fault or not.
4) I get away blame-free.

Every time she gives you the silent treatment and it's not your fault, instead of cracking instantly just tell her she can apologize to you when she's ready, and flounce off to go hang out with other friends. Have fun and show her that you're not going to be her punching bag. She'll learn soon enough.

It's not about ditching her as a friend. You can't change her behaviour, but you can change how you respond to it. That will change her in the long run.

Q: I have been seeing this guy for about a year. It all started as a drunk hook up with him, an acquaintance back then, and after that we started seeing each other more and more, until we became best friends and developed feelings for each other. I have had a rough year and he has stuck by me through it all. During the summer, I wanted to start a relationship. I told him that I didn't want to just be friends with benefits anymore, I wanted to take the next step and make it official. He was hesitant, but he agreed. We were official for three months. During that time we fought a lot, so we decided to take a break because it seemed like things were better when we weren't officially together. He told me that the reason he agreed to a relationship with me was because he didn't want to lose me, but I could tell that he didn't truly want to be in one. So we did the unofficial thing for another few months, nothing changed except we stopped fighting and grew even closer. Yet in the back of my head it really bugged me that I was not good enough for him, that he's just using me for the benefits of a relationship without having to put in any of the work himself. I talked to him about that a few times, and he said he just feels more comfortable being what we are now. So last night I finally decided to end it because I was beginning to resent him for that, I don't like waiting around and catering to him whilst he finally decides he wants to be in a relationship with me again. I told him that we should just be friends without the benefits. He said alright let's go for it, that he understands.

I do really want to remain friends, because we do have a really beautiful friendship, but its painful at the same time because at the end of the day I still love him and want to be with him (I'm not sure if he knows that though. I've been pretty emotionally distant from him the past month or so). And I know he still cares about me but he just doesn't want an official relationship.

Did I make a mistake? Should I have stayed and waited some more? I really saw us getting married and having kids someday (he was even vaguely bringing it up), and I feel like I screwed it up. Should I tell him I think I've made a mistake?

When I've asked him why he doesn't want a relationship, he says its because of the obligations. He feels like he's obligated to spend time with me, so its forced on him. However, when we're not in a relationship, he spends time with me because he wants to. And what he said held true: when we were together, I rarely ever saw him and he didn't really pay attention to me. When we're not official, he's obviously happier and loves spending time with me. But what bothers me is that he's had girlfriends before so obviously that wasn't an issue in his past relationships.

The biggest reason why we fought while in the relationship was because I rarely saw him because we weren't taking any classes together, and I didn't have a car. Now we see each other every day because we have a class together and I got a car. So I feel like we won't have the same problems if we get into a relationship again.

Ugh. What should I do? At the end of the day I'm happy with him regardless if we're official or not, its just something that bugs me and eats away at my self esteem and makes me resent him. Did I make a mistake? Should I just talk to him about it some more?

We are both in college, and we have been exclusively seeing each other since we met.

If he felt it was too strong an obligation to call you his girlfriend, then what's he going to do with his kids? He can't have an uncommitted relationship with them.

Thing is, even though the original problems may disappear now that you're seeing each other, what happens if there's a future separation? You're both in college: what if someone needs to go away to work for a summer? You shouldn't need to see each other every day in order to keep a strong relationship going.

There's nothing wrong with loving him still. Heck, I still love my first boyfriend even though it's been 6 years since we broke up. Just because you love him doesn't mean that you're compatible in the long run.

You sound like you're looking for commitment, for solidity and for affection. You're not getting this from this dude. He doesn't really sound like he wants a girlfriend. Relationships take serious work, and he just isn't willing to put it in. He's made that abundantly clear. A guy who wants to be with you will have no problems with being obligated to spend time with you. In fact, he should have been overjoyed to have an excuse to spend time with you. Can you really see marrying a guy who would resent the "obligation" of spending time with you?

He might change. Stay friends, by all means. Just don't waste your life waiting for this dude to settle down and make up his mind. Date around, see what your options are.

Q: My mom and dad just recently took my phone away[yesterday] they yelled and yelled!They say they can't "trust" me and they also said if I told a fib about texting after 8 I would lie about anything.I am getting my punishment today but last night they went through my whole entire phone. How do I show them that they can trust me again? P.S. It is super hard to be a "good girl". What do I do? *help*

The only way to earn your parents' trust is to, well... earn it. You have to just suck it up and be as good as you can.

It's not all that hard to be a good girl. I managed to make my way through high school with one missed curfew, zero drinking outside my parents' house, great grades and a lot of good times. It's just a matter of associating yourself with people who don't look for fun in the wrong places. Do your homework and chores, show your parents that you're trying to change your stripes, and they will come to trust you with time.

Q: okay..so my bestfriend lives with me at my parents house. were both 19. im pretty sure she has done unprocted sex and she has had multiple partners...she usually gets her period a week before mine but this month i got it on the first. she then got hers a few weeks later but like for a day..or even just an hour. and it hasnt came back? i dont really talk to her about it but is this normal? do you think shes pregnant? its not like she can go see a doctor because she lives with me and she doesnt have a job at the moment to pay for anything.

In order to do an online pregnancy test, you need to get your friend to pee on your keyboard first. Then we can work our magic.

;)

No, seriously, there's no way for us to tell.

If your friend might be pregnant, then she can take a home pregnancy test. It's a lot cheaper than a doctor's visit (about 8 bucks, or you can sometimes get them at dollar stores). If she can't afford the 8 bucks, then she's got bigger problems if she is pregnant.

Q: Me and my boyfriend have been friends since 3rd grade and we started dating since 8th grade we are about to graduate high school and he wants to get married. We both have refused to have sex with each other because we do not wanna risk are relationship with a baby . I really don't know what's best for him and for us . if you were me and you didn't Want anyone else what would you do .

Props to you guys for holding on so long!

I would seriously recommend holding on for a bit longer, though. You've grown up together, but you both still have a lot of growing up to do.

Have you considered moving in together after graduation? It would give you guys a really good idea as to whether you want to brush your teeth together for the next 50+ years of your lives. You'll learn how to deal with each other all the time, how to handle arguments about serious issues like bills, distribution of money and home maintenance.

If you're not 100% sure, you shouldn't be getting married yet. If you rush into marriage and find out that you just can't stand him clipping his toenails in the living room and leaving the chores for you (not saying that WILL happen, but you will discover things about him you wish you hadn't... I speak from experience), you will experience some serious wedding hangover. If you can live with all of his quirks and aggravating habits, and he with yours, you will have a happy marriage when it happens.

Have you guys considered a long engagement? That's a great way to commit yourselves more than just boyfriend/girlfriend while waiting until you take the final, legal plunge.

I'm not just spouting off nonsense, either. I have been with my fiance for 4.5 years now. We've been engaged for over 3.5 years! In that time, we bought a house and a dog together, been through a lot of hard times and we've learned a lot about each other. Now we're at the point where we have zero doubts about getting married, whereas if we'd been married at the beginning, when I was 19, there would have been trouble. So give it a thought :)

Q: hi i turned 18 and im trying to geta credit card to establish my credit but all these companies are rejecting me because i dont have enough successful history. how do you get credit history if you cant even get a card?? its stupid. does anyone know a company i can get one with that wont give a problem? and not those ones where you got to pay a deposit to get. like a actual credit card.

When you're just starting out, it can be difficult because you have no credit rating.

You really have four options:

1) Does your bank offer a credit card? I bank with TD Canada Trust (who now has branches in the States) and they have a student credit card. It's only a $500 limit, but it's a start.

2) The ones where you have to pay a deposit are real credit cards. They're called "secured" credit cards, because your limit is equal to the amount you put down. They require this because they don't know what your habits are like (due to lack of credit history) and they need some assurance that you can pay the balance. Capital One does these. They do count towards your credit score, so they can be a good option.

3) Wait until you go to college. You'll see stands all over during the first few weeks of school, with cards catering to students. They have more lax credit requirements.

4) Build your rating. If you don't have bank accounts, get one now. Get a cell phone on a plan and pay on time every month. That'll help you to build a better score.

Q: I've been seeing this guy for about a year. I care about him a lot, and he feels the same about me. However, he is a little sexist, and pretty self-centered in bed.

We are exclusive, and dated for about 3 months but are currently on a break (still exclusive!) because we fought so much and titles just stress him out and make him feel obligated (and I must say I'm happier being what we are now than when we are in a relationship). But it still bugs me because I feel I'm not good enough for him, but he still calls me his girl. He knows it bugs me, but he doesn't like talking about it.

Also, he has kind of sexist views, he asks me to cook and clean, although I only do the cooking part every once in a while and he usually helps out. Cleaning is too much, but I clean up after myself. Note: we don't live together.

In bed, he is selfish. Its all about him. He doesn't kiss me, no foreplay whatsoever unless its on him. He won't perform oral on me, he said the thought of it grosses him out (I have great hygiene!), and where he's from guys get made fun of for doing that. He knows I don't orgasm from sex, but don't get me wrong I still enjoy it. I just feel like he doesn't care. And I've told him what I like, but he doesn't do it.

I'm not sure what to do. It's not a deal breaker, in all other aspects he's pretty much perfect. He respects me, he's proven he cares about me time and time again. But sometimes I do feel unappreciated and taken for granted. I guess I feel some resentment toward him. But I do genuinely enjoy making him happy, it makes me happy, and he also makes me happy in other ways. What do you think I should do?

We are both in college. And yes even though we aren't officially together, we are still exclusive and committed to each other. He is NOT using me for sex, trust me on this. And I don't cook for him that often either.

Reading your question just made me shudder. If he's this bad now, after only three months of dating, he'll only get worse with time.

The "no oral" thing isn't so much of an issue of respect. Some guys just don't do oral, just like some girls don't. Now, the fact that he doesn't really care enough to do what you like to make sure that you're enjoying yourself, that is worrying. Great sex is an important part of a relationship, and if it's all one-sided, there will be issues.

The stuff that confuses me is how a guy who you don't live with feels entitled to ask you to clean up after him and cook for him. If he's that bad now, what would it be like if you lived together? Be prepared for him to refuse to do anything for himself. That's a very real possibility.

I also don't quite get the whole "on a break, but exclusive" thing. You're good enough to cook for him (even if you don't actually do it, he's still asking), clean for him, have sex with him, but not to be his official girlfriend? That doesn't fly with me. Some people are against definite labels on a relationship, but if the word "girlfriend" is that scary to him, he just isn't ready for a real relationship. Maybe the reason he isn't ready to call you his girlfriend is because he wants a mom instead!

I know you say he respects you, but none of this really points to respect. In a respectful relationship, both partners are equals. In a respectful relationship, both partners work to make each other happy. It sounds like you're doing all the work.

In the end it's up to you. Maybe you're happy to be a housewife, or to take a more traditional role. It doesn't sound like it, though, from what you're saying. Just make sure he doesn't let you feel like anything less than you are. If you find yourself being pushed into a role you don't want, run.

Q: Ok sp this nerd at my school likes me his friend told me and hes in every class of mine, and he stares at me all the time! he is wierd I don't mean to sound me but fat and red cheeks little wierd round glasses and he crossed his legs in his chair like a girl also he crys all the time! well he just gets on my nerves staring litteraly all the time and I can't help it I know its mean but I always look at him and roll my eyes then tell my friends that he likes me and stuff and I am always huffing and rolling my eyes at him what do I do he is such a wierdo!!:( I hate saying that but I can't help it! a lot of times to he smiles at me when I am not looking and my friends tell me when he does! but gosh he is so annoyingggg please help! Thanks! :D

I can't believe nobody has said this, but it needs saying.

What you're doing basically amounts to bullying.

Be nice to the poor guy. We can't all be thin, attractive, socially graceful or well... normal. I was the nerdiest kid in my class from grades 2-6, and not much higher up the social hierarchy from then on, so I know what it's like from his end.

Sure, he stares and smiles at you. Maybe he just thinks you're pretty and knows that you'll never talk to him. Maybe he's hoping that if he's friendly towards you, then you'll take notice of him. He's not doing this to weird you out, he's doing it because he doesn't know any better.

So when you roll your eyes, huff, spread rumours about him and call him annoying, that's mean. Why not try shooting a smile back? I can guarantee he'd be over the moon, and it'll make you look like a much nicer person. Who knows? He might even be a pretty decent guy once you get past the weirdness. Enemies are useless. They don't serve any purpose other than to upset you. Allies are always useful, no matter where in the social hierarchy they lie.

Q: Ive had millions of gfs. More than most and know more about girls than just about everyone. I have millions of friends come to me about of advice on how to get a girl and my advice always works, but im with this one girl and i cant seem to figure her out. Shes so quite. i mean like ive had plenty of shy gfs before and ive been a talker and im funny so its always been easy to open them up and get them talking but this girl is impossible. We kiss and make-out but Even i (btw im an actor so i have to know how to talk well and come up with stuff on the spot) am having trouble on finding things to talk about. She only shakes her head and shrugs. I think shes afraid she might say something stupid or immature cause im older and shes not used to dating older guys. I'm not used to dating younger girls although shes not that much younger. Im 15 and shes 13. She sure don't look 13 though. She beautiful beyond words. Ive dated chicks that were scared cause they don't think there good enough for me cause they know ive dated around a lot and think my previous gfs are better than them but this is beyond that. She has no interests and is very shy even though shes says shes not. ive never asked for advice on this kind of matter before and in a way feel embarrassed of asking for it now cause ive always given this kind of advice, never received. If anyone has any ideas please share or email me. My adress is
actor.ajthedford@gmail.com. Thank's

Not everyone is compatible. I once dated a guy who was adorable, the sweetest guy ever. I ended up breaking up with him because we just had nothing to talk about.

Raise your concerns with your girlfriend, and if she doesn't open up then you probably just aren't compatible with each other. She may be happy being super quiet.

And just so you know, having had "millions" of girlfriends speaks of a lack of experience, not an excess, so don't be ashamed of asking for advice. It's easy to get the girl: keeping her is the hard part. Everyone needs help with these things.

Q: 13/F ok so I have a grandmother that loves to watch old movies on Tcm and I am at her house a lot and so I always have to watch them. Well over the time I have learned to really like them. Well the other day, I watched this Elvis movie, and I liked it well sinse then I have been renting his movies and I litteraly have became obsessed! I know this sounds wierd but I really like him lol like a lot of people did but like for example it is really late at night like right now and It we just had a snow storm two days ago and the roads are all ice and stuff but I can't stop talking about him alllll the time and I was upset cuz I finished the movie I got today and I didn't have anymore so my mom made my dad go out and get another one of his movies in the night on icy roads, haha:P and like all the time I talk about it and ask questions about him. So basicaly I'm wondering do you think that its wierd for me to like him and do you think my parents can tell, because I don't want them too! haha please help. Thanks(:

It's an interest, and a healthy one at that.

We all have our weird interests. I love documentaries, fossil collecting, knitting and classic prog rock. Some people are crazy about stamps. You just happen to be an Elvis aficionado.

:)

Q: I had been going out with a guy for approximately two years, waaaaay back in 2009. For our one year anniversary, he gave me a beautiful gold ring with an emerald stone as a promise ring, for me to keep until we were ready to get hitched in the future. Well, basically, things didn't work out, and I gave him the ring back because I felt awkward. May I note, I wore this ring for an ENTIRE year. Religiously. I thought it was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen, back then. Anyways, he told me the next day that he was probably going to throw it into a river, and we never spoke of it since.

About one year ago, he got a new girlfriend, who just happened to be one of my best friends. Me and him attempted to be platonic friends, but it was impossible; he revealed after a few weeks that basically he couldn't stand me anymore and never wanted anything to do with me again. I obliged, and haven't spoken to him since that day.

Today, at school, I saw her talking animatedly about her one-year anniversary with this guy. Lo-and-behold, on her pointer finger, sat a gold ring with a green emerald stone. The same. Frigging. One.

I couldn't contain my emotions and walked off. I was so appalled by the fact that he had given my 'promise' ring (although it was pretty much void now) to a girl he claims to love more than life. I find this not only offensive to me, but a horrible way to treat my best friend, whom has been head over heels for this guy in ways that I can't even describe. She obviously has no idea that the ring used to be mine; she's under the impression that he bought it for her as a present.

Should I tell her that it was my ring? Or should I confront him about it? May I note, we have barely spoken in months, and he openly glares at me whenever I attempt to make eye contact. So communication will be ANYTHING but peaceful.

...help?

I'm going to disagree with the other Advicenator on this one.

If you tell your friend, you're going to come across as not being over him. You will look like you're jealous of their relationship. Not saying that's how it is, but your friend will see it differently from an outside observer who isn't in the throes of young love.

The best possible thing you can do is suck it up and let her be happy for the moment. He's a jerk: he's proven that already. If it's not meant to be, things will fizzle between the two of them and you can tell her and laugh about what a colossal bag of dicks he is. If it does by some miracle work between them, you'll always be the one who tried to come between them. You know the phrase "don't shoot the messenger"? It happens. All the time. Even if she says she isn't upset with you for telling her, even if she THANKS you for telling her, you will be the one who took the shine off her beautiful, one-of-a-kind present. So let her have her happiness. For now. And be glad that you're not stuck with that dirtbag any more.

Q: Okay so can you tell what the poetry terms in this poem are? Also could you tell me the tone, mood, diction and structure

No, we can't.

Why is this? Because this isn't a homework answers site. Giving you the answers for homework would be plagiarism, and that's against our code here.

Now, if you were looking for advice on HOW to tell what poetry terms are, or what tone means, we might be able to help you out. We can't just give you the answers.

Q: So I have really thin, fine hair that's somewhat damaged from past dye jobs. Right now, my hair's at about boob length, but I want to grow it much longer. However, because I already have split ends, I don't know if it'll be possible. What is a good hair product to help prevent split ends and breakage for my type of hair? Any other haircare tips?

I'm loving Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship line.

There's a shampoo, a conditioner, and a leave in conditioner. They're all fantastic. Even after a week, my hair's felt a lot stronger and healthier, and it's not getting the tangles and breakage it used to from resting on the back of my sweaters. Also, it's affordable!

Q: 15 F Canada

Hey, I really hope you can help and follow what Im getting at It would mean a lot to me.

I'm having troubles sleeping, I CAN'T EVER SLEEP .
I could stay awake all night and never sleep (just like tonight) I'm very tired but I can't sleep. I will go to lay down and I'll get all paranoid and I will hear things, and I get so scared I almost hyper ventalate sometimes, I hide under the covers all night, I always need my pet cat in the room, and I still can't sleep, when I go to sleep i always have to cover my ears and have a light on of some sort because I get so scared. I dont know why Im scared though!? Like its gotten to the point where I don't expect to really be asleep till about 4 or 5 am. Probably not at all every night. I have heard things about being Schitzo, or some kind of things like that but I'm not quick to make a conclusion, I try and tell my parents but they just laugh at me, but I think its very serious.
Any insight would help thank you very much!

I had a fantastic doctor who told me once that if you think you're schizophrenic, you probably aren't.

If you can't get a doctor's appointment right away, you should start keeping a sleep and mood diary. Keep track of how much you're sleeping, when, what odd things you experienced and how your mood ranked on a 1-10 scale. It might not show anything, but it might show something.

I had the same problem (although for short periods of time) and was diagnosed with rapid cycle bipolar disorder. I thought I had schizophrenia because I was hallucinating, having panic attacks, hearing things and unable to sleep. Turns out they just share an awful lot of symptoms.

In the meantime, you can do a few things to help increase your chances of falling asleep. I know this will all sound corny, but hear me out on it. Medications haven't solved all my sleep problems: I had to do some stuff on my own. Develop a bedtime ritual. Stop all homework, video games, and television at least an hour before you go to bed (at a set time every night) and do something relaxing, like reading, taking a bath or listening to quiet music. I like to have a cup of herbal bedtime tea, myself. Avoid all caffeine intake, especially after 2 in the afternoon, and try not to eat too late at night. When I would have a particularly bad night, I listened to music quietly on my MP3 player.

If you see a doctor, chances are that they won't just prescribe you sleeping pills. Maybe as a stop gap measure, but a good doctor will want to investigate further.

Q: Today, I had a slice of chocolate cake...it was quite good so I had another...then another haha
so these three slices gave me the worse cramps and I found myself sitting on the toliet afterwards. This was a boxed cake recipe (maybe there was dry milk in it...idk) and we used store bought frosting.

My mom is lactose intolerant...does it sound like I am, too? Because believe me...I've eaten more food than I did today and haven't been in pain like that. I think I can't handle lactose. What do you think? Besides the fact that I made a pig of myself...this I know! lol

There really wouldn't be all that much milk in cake mix or frosting.

Where you probably got nailed wasn't in the amount of food you ate, but the amount of sugar. Too much sugar at a time can cause cramping and other fun stuff.

Q: what is the exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution of the book the truth about forever?

Unfortunately, this sounds an awful lot like a homework question, which we can't answer on here. Us giving you answers is plagiarism.

Q: My roommate is kind of weird. I moved in with her in the beginning of December to prepare for this upcoming semester of college. We live near campus. She's been going to this college for 2 semesters already so she knows all about the school. That isn't the point.

She's really quiet and keeps to herself. She always, always eats alone. We never even watch TV together. I hardly ever see her really. I don't know if she has any friends, but I know if she does they never come over. I try to get her to go out and have lunch with me sometimes but she ALWAYS turns me down and says she's busy (usually reading some book, writing some paper, or doing some "research" about something or another). She always DOES seem busy because every time I've been in her room she has stacks of papers and books and it just looks like she is doing a lot of stuff. Anyway, she always seems kind of sad or depressed too though. And it scares me that maybe she's suicidal or severely depressed or something.

What should I do about this?

Your roommate isn't necessarily suicidal. Chances are she's just the sort of person who likes to be left alone and focus on her studies.

Keep in mind that just because you're roommates doesn't mean that you have to be besties. She may just have a heavy course load and be too busy to cultivate a new friendship. Either that, or she just feels that you're too different to be good friends. Also, some people like to keep their roommate relationships professional rather than friendly.

Q: I'm 15 and I'm pregnant. I know it's not ideal. I know it's a bad situation. I'm not happy or proud of what I did. It's something I know I have to deal with though.

I told my mom two days ago that I am pregnant. She was really mad at me and told me that we'd get rid of "it" soon enough then.

I tried to tell her it's not what I want. I want to take responsibility. I know it's a hard road. I don't want to kill my baby or "get rid of it." I want this baby and I want to do my best with him or her.

My mom says I'm being stupid and on Monday she's going to call the clinic to schedule an appointment to have an abortion done.

I get where she's coming from, but it is NOT what I want to do. I want to give birth and raise my kid the best I can. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I just want to try my best.

They always say it's 'my body and my choice' but I feel like my mom isn't giving me a choice here. It's my mistake and I want to do what I think is best. It's my baby I am carrying. I don't want to have an abortion. What do I do? How can I get help so she doesn't make me get one?

No, the doctors will not perform an abortion against your will.

You do have to consider the fact that your mother is not required to support you or the baby if you do keep it against her will. She didn't get pregnant. You did.

Your mother would be well within her rights to kick you out and put you in foster care. Keep this in mind. You won't be able to move out on your own, as you are underage.

Q: Okay so I haven't seen my father in years. He kicked me out and took me out of his will. I did try talking to him until I asked about my grandfather and he lied and said he was fine. My grandfather had been dead for three years before anyone told me. On top of that, in August I suffered a miscarriage and it still hurts. Now, my father is constantly sending me messages because another family member told him about it. He's calling me fat, ugly, useless, slut, and the one that hurts the most is baby murderer. Any ideas on what I can do about my father since he's being so childish?

You can't change your father. Unfortunately, we don't get to choose who we're related to, and you just happened to get a real winner.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. Clearly, he doesn't want you in his life and he doesn't want to be a real father to you. Rather than beating yourself up over it, focus on finding good supportive role models outside your immediate family circle. Friends, uncles, aunts, in-laws... anyone who you trust and care about can be family to you.

I would also suggest that you seek counseling, because dealing with crap like what he's thrown at you can cause some lasting damage. You can't change how your father behaves, but you can change how you deal with his behaviour.

Q: I absolutely adore the smell of my dirty underwears. I rarely use perfume, and very lightly when I do use them. I shower and change daily, so it is not the disgusting smell that I desires. It has come to the point where I would lick my own dirty panties and set it beside me when I sleep. I feel no shame in doing it, and it has become a routine during sex as well. The part which worries me is that, am I really that obsessed with myself, or is this just a common fetish amongst 18 -19 years olds.

It's not necessarily a phase that every teenager goes through, but it's not freakish or a sign of self-obsession.

Lots of people have panty fetishes. You're just one of them. Props to you for finding a partner who's open to the experience :)

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.