Me and my boyfriend have been friends since 3rd grade and we started dating since 8th grade we are about to graduate high school and he wants to get married. We both have refused to have sex with each other because we do not wanna risk are relationship with a baby . I really don't know what's best for him and for us . if you were me and you didn't Want anyone else what would you do .
I also wouldn't get married right after high school. I've seen so many problems when that happens. Not that it couldn't work but you learn so much about that person that you didn't realize. You're still young and everything so I'd just keep going with it.
My boyfriend talked to be about the same thing. He wanted to marry after we graduated. I wanted to wait till I was in my 20s, after college so that we could actually afford everything and I know getting married right after high school has a higher divorce rate. Anyway, not saying it would happen to you but lots of things happen.
miranda_love answered Sunday January 16 2011, 10:48 pm: You should probably wait till you both graduate high school because having sex before you graduate and have to go to college is probably not a good idea. Take the chance and wait... you want to enjoy it with him. Sex is a big thing and you want to feel ready for it and comfortable with the other person. Every girl is afraid of getting pregnant unless they want to get pregnant. Don't feel that you have to have sex so soon. It will be best for you and him if you wait, especially if you both are going to get married. Hope you enjoy it with him :) [ miranda_love's advice column | Ask miranda_love A Question ]
gr8fruit answered Sunday January 16 2011, 8:46 pm: Hey,
No, I do not think you are too young for love as long as you know who you are, what you want in a guy, and what you will have to sacrifice once you are in a relationship.
As for marriage: wait until you've been in college for a year or two and then see if you still want to be together. I say this because college is a whole other world. You will have to schedule him in, you will meet a ton of people and you will just begin to get your life in order. He will meet other girls and you will meet other guys. I'm saying that you will have a ton of options (mainly guys) and you might just want to see someone else. If after a few years in college you two are still together, making time to see eachother, only then think about marriage. College and careers can make a person change their paths. You two may be on different paths.. wait and see.
I am glad you don't want to risk the relationship with a child. That could create many difficulties. That said: you are still young and have plenty of time to get married. Do not rush into marriage with one person when you are just beginning to meet the world of guys. Expecially in college. You have known this guy for a long time, but you still have to be absolutely positive that you can and will spend every single day waking up to his face, exploring new places/things with him, doing his laundry, folding his clothes, holding his hand and kissing his lips after college. A ton of commitment (time, money, love) comes with marriage, so be absolutely sure He is the person you not only want, but need to be commited to for the rest of your life <3 [ gr8fruit's advice column | Ask gr8fruit A Question ]
NinjaNeer answered Sunday January 16 2011, 8:23 pm: Props to you guys for holding on so long!
I would seriously recommend holding on for a bit longer, though. You've grown up together, but you both still have a lot of growing up to do.
Have you considered moving in together after graduation? It would give you guys a really good idea as to whether you want to brush your teeth together for the next 50+ years of your lives. You'll learn how to deal with each other all the time, how to handle arguments about serious issues like bills, distribution of money and home maintenance.
If you're not 100% sure, you shouldn't be getting married yet. If you rush into marriage and find out that you just can't stand him clipping his toenails in the living room and leaving the chores for you (not saying that WILL happen, but you will discover things about him you wish you hadn't... I speak from experience), you will experience some serious wedding hangover. If you can live with all of his quirks and aggravating habits, and he with yours, you will have a happy marriage when it happens.
Have you guys considered a long engagement? That's a great way to commit yourselves more than just boyfriend/girlfriend while waiting until you take the final, legal plunge.
I'm not just spouting off nonsense, either. I have been with my fiance for 4.5 years now. We've been engaged for over 3.5 years! In that time, we bought a house and a dog together, been through a lot of hard times and we've learned a lot about each other. Now we're at the point where we have zero doubts about getting married, whereas if we'd been married at the beginning, when I was 19, there would have been trouble. So give it a thought :) [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
iloveaar answered Sunday January 16 2011, 8:19 pm: you mean if i'd have sex with this person being you?...answer is no, let me tell you something that you probably won't like and won't believe me , when i was 14 ,15 , 16, 17 i had the same bf i thought i was in love i wouldve done anything for him and i felt that i wanted to be with him forever. as i grew older and we broke up after being together for so long i felt that my life was over i got that "i wanna die" feeling, but i got over it, and after meeting other people i look bback and think like WTF seriously what was i thinking? iwas gonna lose my virginity to him, and i thought i didnt wanted because of a baby, i would say, wait until it actually feels right for you, you being here asking "us" those questions means that you're not sure about it, cause being honest no one wants to take the risk but when the time comes and you meet this wonderful person who taking this "risks" is totally worthy you will be sure you wanna share this experience with him, id say wait , you guys are too young, you don't know whats gonna happen and you dont wanna regreat it later in life i thought i was ready to have sex with him but kept asking myself is this right? and that told me i wasn't first mature enough to have sex with him because i wasn't mature enough to accept whatever concecuenses come from that .
so if you are not ready to accept if something goes wrong, don't do it, im not saying wait til marriage of course not, but its very common for relationships at your age to be like thinking you and this guy are gonna live happy together for the rest of your lives, im not trying to be a pesimist but im trying to explain to you from someone that already went through that that most people your age and in a relationship like yours go through this stage when you think you are so in love and you will stay forever with this person, i know when they told me the same when i was 14 i was like "you don't know what is like, WE are gonna get married" but to be honest since you are still young there are changes still in both of you, as you guys start growing older going through adolescence is very common to grow appart since girls mature sooner than boys, so i'd say wait, if you guys are still gonna stay together then why rush it? enjoy teenage love and what comes with it don't try to live it all at once getting into stuff that neither of you are mentally ready, (not to offend anyone to be honest) but you guys are young, and if you are not mature enough to accept any possible consequences then don't do it, besides you wouldn't want to...what if you guys break up, when you are a bit older you'd have another relationship and someone who you'd be sure you wanna share this with and you'll understand that maybe you shouldve wait. im not trying to make a big deal out of it im just sharing my opinion, don't rush it, you are young
with this desicion comes responsability . hope ive helped and that you make the right choice :) [ iloveaar's advice column | Ask iloveaar A Question ]
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