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no friends.
hello everyone. i am a 19/f who has a lot of problems. i can't begin to describe my life. i've always had problems making friends, and i have no self esteem. in high school i was this girl who people made fun of, i started crap with people, got in trouble etc. now i am a sophomore in college and I've come a long way. i still don't have friends though. tomorrow is my 20th birthday and i really wanted to go out to a club but i have no one to go with well besides my brother who is in town, but i am sure he would rather go with his friends than his little sister. well anyways i know everything starts at home, and for a long time I've had a bad attitude. i have ADHD so that doesn't make it any better. I've been taking medicine and i am on a small dose because of my weight. i am also taking medicine for that. well anyways at school a lot of people think i am rude, and last semester i barely talked to anyone because i could tell no one wanted to, well besides my English class. but I'll admit i was super rude even to the guy i liked, i was joking but i said some hurtful things to him and other people. i say things jokingly but most people don't realize i am joking and i feel bad i hurt them. my therapist has been working with me for almost 3 years and i feel like my social skills suck, because no one likes me now or when i was in middle or high school. my ADHD makes me impulsive but there were times when i didn't take it. but i have started taking it again, and i did skipped a few days because i forgot. i don't like myself either, and i want to change my ways and be nicer to people. i haven't started school, it starts in two days and i am nervous i still won't make any friends. i mean last semester i had one friend in English class and we hung out like once, and we barely talk now.i did have a best friend but she's really controlling and i am getting sick of her so i don't hangout with her anymore, but i am desperate to make friends, so desperate that my stupid self went on facebook and messaged this girl i went to high school with and didn't get along with and said sorry and she just said she didn't care really. she said she was over it, didn't care for my apology, and said it had nothing to do with me but the situation, and to just drop it, and ended the conversation with a goodbye. i felt really stupid because i am getting more desperate to make friends like also outside of school before it starts on Tuesday. but where and how? i feel so crappy and like a total loser.
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I know what your going through. Actually, a lot of people do. Friends come and go, you get sick of people, you change. First of all, what you MUST realize, is nobody looks at you and goes "I don't like her" so stop thinking that way it's not how it is. For people to like nd respect you, you must first like and respect yourself. Stop focusing on the negative. Look at all the positive things about you. Are you athletic, smart, funny, atristic, pretty, fun, creative..etc.? Remember, nobody
is perfect, we all have flaws. Some are more noticeable
then others.
To make friends, you have to work at it. Smiling whenever someone looks at you is a start. When someoe says something like.. "wow that test was hard!" say back "I know! I didn't do well, what is you grade like in this class?" and then you'll respond, and just keep asking question, keep the conversation flowing. Laugh when approiate. Lean forward when talking (when it's approiate) friendship takes awhile to build. You really have to work at it. Once you find
people you hav similar interests with, like music, ask them to go to that concert with you, or to come over and listen to there new album.
People will like you, believe in yourself, be confident in who you are. Good luck:)
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Wow well I'm really sorry about all that but Ivan relate so perfectly it's amazing. I'll tell you how I got through it though (I might also have ADHD too) First of all I had no friends for a while either I was being so negative and plus a guy I like an me thinking he didn't like me back ruined a ton of things , I thought the people at my school didn't like talking to me so I just stayed silent , with next semester coming up figured I would just change schools( now I don't really want to :P)
But okay what you should try is to be MORE positive try as hard as you can and speak what you feel with people and maybe before saying something also think how you would like to here those words to you , try talking randomly to people and maybe a few dudes , they can be kewl ad more understanding , just sit with them at lunch or something like that :P. I wanted to try and make friends outside of school too and my social skills really suck ...I had one friend outside of school but we we're separating and that made me feel so much more worse to know that my best friend didnt even want to be with me. Just try in life and when a negative though comes up think positive about it try and not worry too much about the future be you with people and don't worry about what they'll think of you and maybe go by some local place and strike a convo with someone you see , they don't have to be your age group .sometimes easier to be friends with someone out of your age group. I'm sorry if this doesn't help =/ maybe u can inbox me
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