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I'm pregnant and my mom is making me have an abortion when I don't want to
I'm 15 and I'm pregnant. I know it's not ideal. I know it's a bad situation. I'm not happy or proud of what I did. It's something I know I have to deal with though.
I told my mom two days ago that I am pregnant. She was really mad at me and told me that we'd get rid of "it" soon enough then.
I tried to tell her it's not what I want. I want to take responsibility. I know it's a hard road. I don't want to kill my baby or "get rid of it." I want this baby and I want to do my best with him or her.
My mom says I'm being stupid and on Monday she's going to call the clinic to schedule an appointment to have an abortion done.
I get where she's coming from, but it is NOT what I want to do. I want to give birth and raise my kid the best I can. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I just want to try my best.
They always say it's 'my body and my choice' but I feel like my mom isn't giving me a choice here. It's my mistake and I want to do what I think is best. It's my baby I am carrying. I don't want to have an abortion. What do I do? How can I get help so she doesn't make me get one?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
You will have to be seen by the medical staff privately and they will ask you questions. One of them will be why you want to abort. This is when you can say that your mom is forcing you to. They will then not perform the abortion. It's illegal to force someone to abort.
No one, not even your mother, can legally make you stay pregnant nor end your pregnancy against your will. You have the right of choice.
Go the Planned Parenthood and ask them about your options for parenting. They'll have resources available to you to help you get through your pregnancy. They'll also help prepare you for parenting. Don't delay. There may be cuts to PP coming soon, in you're in the States, so get what you can out of them now.
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i was in this same situation as you. it's a very difficult decision. I was 15 when i decided to have an abortion.. i just did not feel ready for a baby at that young of an age. I felt like i myself, still needed to do alot of growing up before haveing a child. Babies are alot of work. Espeacially if your still enrolled with school. Most teenage mothers do not finsih highschool or go to college because they have to work and take care of a child. Its a life long thing. That child will be your responsibility for the rest of YOUR life. Although 15 is a very young age to have a child at, i do believe it is YOUR decision! Do whats best for the child. Technically the baby wont feel a thing until it's about 4months into the pregnancy i was told. Other people say, its not even considered a "living thing" until the baby is born. If you really want the baby, tell your doctor or really talk to your mom. Usually at the clinic you will see a social worker for a few hours before an abortion.. tell them you want the baby (if that is what you choose). I choose to have an abortion. It took YEARS for me to cope with it. I had to realize i did not "kill" my baby. I did what i felt was best for myself AND that child. As much as it is a hard situation to face, i do not regret it because i know i wouldn't be able to handle a baby when i was that young. Everyones different. Good luck! and STAY STRONG!! I HOPE i helped a bit.
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Hello :3
Well, I don't believe in abortion and its absoulutly wrong, either you take up the responsibilty of being a mom or you put it up for adoption. It's a living thing, and its growing in your stomach it deserves a life. All you can do it talk to your mother, and try to convince her or put your foot down and say you rather take care of it. It's not really your moms choice to make, its your baby. She IS your mother though and she does have some say in it. Your only 15, my mom wouldn't let me kill my baby..and I'm the same age as you..she wouldn't do something like that. Talk to your mom, do your best to convince her. I don't think they will let you get an abortion without your permission. I respect you for wanting to step up for your actions. :) Your mother should be proud about that.
Good luck :3
Emily <3
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Oh my gosh! Tell her it's not her decision it's your baby and you're choice! I mean 15 and pregnant you're not really ready to raise a child and she probablly feels she will be the one to take responsibiblity, tell her it IS your choice stand up to her for yourself and your baby is the father willing to help? If he is don't worry it won't be that hard tell her you are only doing what's best for the baby and you want to have it yourself taking another's life away is cruel. Especially if it's not your decision to take. Get the father on your side to convince her you will do a good job and you will be a good mother and take care of him/her. and you will do anything for him/her!
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You are too old to have any medical procedure done against your will, this includes an abortion.
If you chose to have the baby you will, in most states, be declared an emancipated minor. Meaning you will be declared of legal age to work without working papers, sign contracts and other things should mom force you out of her home.
The help you need is not help to stop the abortion, that will not happen without your consent. You will need help in caring for and raising your child. In finishing your education, in having the father being financially responsible. The social worker at the clinic can help you with these things.
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You can't have an abortion against your will. Even if your mother makes an appointment, you will have to have a consultation with a doctor to ensure you are pyschologically sound and understand the enormity of your decision.
Having a baby so young is tough. Like you, my sister got pregnant at 15 and it didn't turn out well for her at all. My parents raise the baby themselves and she has very little involvement. Of course everyone is different and plenty of young mothers do a good job but you must understand how incredibly difficult it is, especially if you don't have the support of your mother.
Ask her what will happen if you refuse an abortion. If she plans to kick you out you need to seriously consider your options. Where will you go? How will you afford to raise a baby and look after yourself? What will you do about your education? These are big questions that you need to think about long and hard. If you can get your mother on side, things will be significantly easier.
Good luck.
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No, the doctors will not perform an abortion against your will.
You do have to consider the fact that your mother is not required to support you or the baby if you do keep it against her will. She didn't get pregnant. You did.
Your mother would be well within her rights to kick you out and put you in foster care. Keep this in mind. You won't be able to move out on your own, as you are underage.
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sweet heart,
Having a baby is the best thing ever but whatever you do you need support! you need family,friends and a close doctors or hospital! Trust me darling if you can get enough support and enough money have it! If not put in the care of a older friend and vist it. But whatever you do dont disown it (put it up for addopsion or foster) if you have had it! Think of your opsions sweetheart!please tell me before you go ahead!
if you need more advise or just a chat email advicenators@live.co.uk
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The doctors won't abort the baby, if you tell
them you don't want that. Did your mom say that she wants you to get an abortion shortly after you told her? It could have been heat of the moment and she isn't 100% on that choice. Do you have a father? If so, what does he think? Maybe get
him on your side.
Raising a child is a lot a lot a lot of work. It's also a lot of money. Think about all your options.
Abortion means that you would be done with it.
- Pros of abortion is you would not have to care for a baby, possibly drop out of schools or have to be home schooled, nobody would have to know about it, and you could continue on with a normal teenage life.
-cons of abortion is risk medical problems now, or later on in life, emotional damage. Possibly giving up your values and morals.
Keeping the baby
-pros is you get to keep your child, raise it and love it. Having a child is the greatest gift and you will never love anything more.
-cons is it will be difficult, you will have to grow up fast and miss possible opportunities. Money may also be Tight depending on your family.
Giving it up for adoption.
Pros- you get to deliver the baby and can ensure a safe and happy home. Maybe even possible for you to visit it. See your child grow, while not having to give up your childhood and oportunities for your future.
Cons- someone else is raising your child and you have to give the child up.
So, there's a lot of options, only you know what's best for you. Male the decision you want, because overtime your
mom will get over it and respect your decision.
I hope everything works out for you.
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I admire you for wanting to keep the baby.
You can tell your mom you'll tell the doctors that's not what you want.
If the doctors find out an abortion is not what you want, they will NOT abort the baby.
When you get to the abortion clinic, you could ask to speak privately with the doctors and tell them you don't want an abortion. And that your mom is making you.
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